by Meg Maxwell
“I received an email from CJ Morrow,” Colt said.
Wait, what? He must have heard wrong. “CJ sent you an email?”
Colt nodded and handed over two sheets of paper. “Here. See for yourself.”
What the hell? How had CJ found Jake’s twin brother? And he’d sent him an email? Jake stared at the pages in Colt’s hand. From: CJ’s email address. To: Colt Asher’s.
“Let’s go inside the house,” Jake said, the letter burning up his hand.
Colt nodded and followed him to the door. With every one of his nerve endings on fire, the cool interior was a relief. Jake led the way to the living room and gestured for Colt to sit where he liked. Jake sat across from him on the sofa.
“Can I get you something to drink? Iced tea? Coffee?”
“Actually, I’d love some coffee. Black and sweet.”
Jake nodded and headed into the kitchen. He was grateful for the opportunity to step away for a moment, to let this sink in. His twin brother was in the living room.
Because CJ had emailed him.
Jake poured two mugs of coffee from the almost full pot, which meant it was fresh, added sugar for Colt and cream and sugar for himself. They didn’t take their coffee the same way. First point of comparison that had come up.
Jake shook his head. He must be losing his mind. He was thinking about coffee habits? Who cared!
His twin brother, who he hadn’t known existed until five years ago, was sitting in his living room. Looking an awful lot like Jake himself. The height, the physicality, the hair, the eyes.
He could barely wrap his mind around the fact that the guy was here, in his home, after all these years of Jake wondering about him, hoping to find him someday. He was here. In the flesh.
Because CJ had tracked him down. Jake supposed between having the surname of the adoptive family and a Texas city, CJ had been able to find the right guy. From the looks of Colt Asher, Jake had no doubt CJ had.
Jake carried the two mugs back into the living room and handed one to Colt. The man nodded and took a sip. Jake sat back on the sofa and picked up the letter.
“We sure do look alike,” Jake said. Anyone looking at them together would take them for brothers. They weren’t anywhere close to identical, but the similarities were startling.
Colt nodded. “It’s almost hard to look at you. When I first got the letter, I had to let it sink in at all that I had a twin brother. I’ve always known I was adopted. But I had no idea you existed.”
That was one of the questions that had kept Jake up at night the past five years. Had his twin known? Or had he been in the dark like Jake most of his life? “I didn’t know about you until five years ago. When I found out, from a notation on some paperwork concerning my adoption, I wrote the adoption agency to seek out our birth mother, thinking that would lead me to you. But then some things came up. I didn’t actually connect with our birth mother until just a couple of months ago.”
“You’ve met?” Colt asked, sipping his coffee.
Jake nodded, struck by how little Colt Asher gave away with his expression. He wouldn’t be surprised to hear he was a poker player. Or a cop. “She lives right here in town. CJ and I are starting over here.”
Colt seemed to let that sink in for a bit. “Speaking of CJ...why don’t you read the email he sent me?”
Jake took a slug of his coffee and opened the envelope. He pulled out two pieces of white paper.
Dear Colt Asher,
My name is CJ Morrow. I’m writing because I recently found information in my late parents’ belongings that say you are the twin of my brother, Jake Morrow. You and Jake were adopted by different families in Texas. Jake got stuck with me as a brother, and I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been living up to that title. Five years ago, when he found out you existed, he wanted to search for you, but I was seventeen then and we’d just lost our parents and I was afraid I’d lose him to you. How could a snot-nose kid like me compare to a biological brother, let alone a twin? For me, he quit the search. Lately, it’s been consuming him—the idea of finding you, meeting you, just knowing something about you. But I stood in his way, and he cares too much about me and my stupid, selfish feelings to go ahead. So I’m getting out of his way and sending this for him. He’s the best brother you’d ever hope for. Trust me, I know.
—CJ Morrow
Full Circle Ranch
Blue Gulch, Texas
* * *
“Wow,” Jake said, so touched he couldn’t say more for a minute.
Colt smiled. “That was my exact reaction. I can’t stay long. I’m on a mission in this area, actually, so I was able to stop in for a few minutes.”
“A mission?” Jake repeated.
“I’m an FBI special agent,” Colt said. “I work out of Houston. I’m on a crazy case right now.”
FBI agent. Of all the professions Jake had wondered about, from astronaut to author to doctor, he’d never thought federal agent.
Colt stood. “Unfortunately I have to go. But there was no way I could pass by Blue Gulch and not stop in. Once this case is over, I’d like to come back and maybe we can get to know each other.”
Jake smiled. “I’d like that. And so would Sarah Mack—she’s our birth mother.”
“Sarah Mack.” Colt nodded and turned to head toward the door. “I’ll be back when I’m able. It might be several months, closer to November. Please thank your brother for writing that email.”
“I will,” Jake said. He walked Colt out to his car. “This might sound crazy but I feel...changed somehow by meeting you.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Colt said, then put his sunglasses back on and got inside the car.
He watched Colt Asher’s car disappear up the drive. His legs felt like they might give way so he leaned against the post. Colt Asher. His twin brother.
And CJ had found him for Jake. He still couldn’t get over that. Or the beautiful email CJ had sent.
His cell phone rang. His foreman.
“Jake, Hank here. You need to come fast. Up by the far pasture. CJ’s had an accident. It’s bad.”
Oh hell.
* * *
CJ was unconscious and had a broken leg, but the doctor has assured Jake he’d be fine. The waiting room was crowded with those who were waiting on word. The Full Circle crew. Emma. Stella.
He let Stella know that he was sure CJ would want her by his bedside and she tearfully raced in, her long, dark ponytail whipping behind her. The crew wanted to stay put until CJ woke up but had worked out a schedule so that two of them would take care of the necessities at the Full Circle for a couple hours while two stayed at the hospital. Hank and Golden had gone back to the ranch. Grizzle was sitting on one of the padded chairs in the waiting room, trying to avoid staring at the family of three sitting across from him, their eyes hollow and red-rimmed. A husband, around sixty or so, and two grown children, well into their thirties. A wife and mother in her early sixties, in a terrible car accident.
The doctor came out. He spoke quietly to the family.
“She’s going to make it?” the husband repeated, barely able to speak.
“She’ll need a lot of recuperation time,” the doctor said, “but yes. You can see her when she wakes up.”
The family burst into tears and latched on to one another with fierce grips.
“They’re lucky,” Grizzle whispered.
“They are,” Emma said. “I guess when we lose people we love, we have to hold our memories even closer. That’s how I keep my mother with me. I think about her, I know how she’d feel about this or that in my life and sometimes I even make decisions based on her advice. Is that crazy?”
“Not at all,” Jake said. “My parents have been gone for five years and I can hear my dad’s voice clear as a bell
in my head sometimes. ‘Now, Jake,’ he’d say. And I know just what he’d tell me about any given situation.” He smiled, the thought of his father very welcome in the midst of CJ lying in that hospital bed.
Grizzle didn’t say anything. But then he leaned forward and said, “You want to know a secret?”
Emma nodded.
“It’s like that for me too,” Grizzle said, his voice a whisper. “And you want to know what my wife says about the way I keep my hair and beard? She thinks I’m a danged fool. ‘Cut that hair! Trim that beard! And for God’s sake, Harrison, put on a blasted suit for your date to meet Michelle’s kin.’”
Jake saw tears glistening in Emma’s eyes. “Grizzle, your name is Harrison? That’s a great name.”
“Well, of course my wife called me Harrison. Michelle always asks what my real name is but I tell her it’s Grizzle.”
“So you know your wife would like you to spiff up some and date Michelle?” Emma asked. “I didn’t know that.”
“She wants me to be happy,” Grizzle said. He frowned, his face almost crumpling. “I’m the one...holding myself back.”
“I could use a haircut,” Jake said, running a hand through his thick, dark hair. “Maybe the both of us could go to the barbershop when Hank and Golden come back. “Look our Sunday best for CJ when he wakes up.”
“Yeah,” Grizzle said with a firm nod. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
Jake wanted to hug the man but he settled for placing a hand on Grizzle’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go get some coffee from the hospital cafeteria. Anyone want?”
“I’d love some decaf,” Emma said.
“You two go ahead,” Grizzle said. “I’ll wait here for the guys. Bring me back a seltzer.”
Jake nodded. “Will do.”
He and Emma walked down the hall to the small cafeteria. A minute ago he’d been holding it together, but suddenly his chest felt like it was about to explode.
“What happened to CJ was my fault,” he said and froze. He’d been so dumbstruck by meeting his twin that he hadn’t even stopped to think about why CJ had been riding so fast and recklessly. Until he’d said the words, Jake hadn’t realized how true it was.
Emma froze in the doorway. “Your fault? What do you mean?”
He took her by the hand and led her away from the line of people. “My twin brother came to the house today. His name is Colt Asher. Turns out CJ tracked him down via the little information we had from my adoption papers. I guess CJ saw a photo online of Asher and was sure he had the right guy, then emailed him. What he wrote blew me away.”
Surprise lit her eyes. “Wow, Jake. You met your twin? And CJ tracked him down for you?”
“I can barely process any of it myself. I think Colt showed me the email because he was equally moved by it. CJ talked about how he’d been selfish to hold me back from trying to find my twin.”
“What’s he like?”
“He’s an FBI agent,” Jake whispered. “Imagine that. And we look a lot alike. He seems like a good guy.”
“Wow,” Emma said again. “Wow, wow, wow.”
“I know. I almost can’t believe it really happened, that he came to the ranch,, that we talked for a few minutes in the living room. He had to leave—he’s on a case, but he said he’d be back when he could come.”
“Wait a sec—Jake, how was CJ’s accident possibly your fault?”
Jake let out a deep breath. “When my twin arrived, CJ must have seen him and I guess it was just too much for him to handle or something. He tore out of the barn on Merlin. The horse got spooked by something and threw CJ.”
“Like with what happened to Joshua,” Emma said on a whisper.
“He’s so damned lucky to be alive. I’m so damned lucky. If I’d lost him—” He turned away, choking on his own thoughts.
“Jake, what happened to Joshua wasn’t your fault. And CJ’s accident wasn’t your fault. Sometimes, accidents just happen. You can’t blame yourself. CJ wanted you to have your twin in your life. He set that in motion, Jake. Not you.”
“Because he knew how badly I wanted it. He did it at his own expense.”
Emma put her hand on his arm. “That’s what love is, Jake. That’s what people who love each other do.”
He stepped back. “Well, now CJ is unconscious in a hospital.” He shook his head and walked out of the cafeteria.
He wanted to turn back, wanted to hug Emma and tell her he just needed time to let this all sit. But he found himself keeping going, farther and farther away.
* * *
“Dumb snake,” CJ said.
Jake shot out of the chair beside CJ’s hospital bed and stood over his brother, whose eyes were now open. Relief that CJ had finally woken up hit him so hard he almost had to sit down again. CJ looked groggy—but he was very much alive.
“It reared its creepy head and big amber-colored eyes right in front of Merlin,” CJ said. “Nervy slitherer.”
Jake smiled. “I figured it was something like that.” He closed his eyes for a second. “Jesus, CJ. If you’d been killed—”
CJ grinned, his blue eyes twinkling. “You’ll never get rid of me. That’s a promise.”
“Good,” Jake said.
CJ moved up a bit in the bed, adjusting the pillow. “So you met Colt Asher, huh?”
“Thanks to you, yeah. You surprised the hell out of me.”
“Someone had to, since it looked like you weren’t going to track him down yourself. I know you think you were doing it—not doing it—for me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized you weren’t tracking him down for a different reason.”
Jake frowned. “Like what?”
“Scared of what you might find? What he might turn out to be? The unknown? You run a tight ship for a reason, Jake. You don’t like surprises. You never have.”
Jake dropped back down in the chair. “I’m supposed to be the wise older brother. Not you.”
“Well, if it wasn’t for you knocking some sense in my head, I might have lost Stella. I’m gonna propose to her when the doc springs me.”
Jake’s eyes widened. “Whoa. I’m happy for you, CJ. You’re young, you’re both young, but when you’ve found the person you know you want to spend forever with, I don’t see the point in waiting.”
“Unless you’re you,” CJ said. “Then you just go along with a fake engagement.”
“Huh? The engagement is fake. There’s nothing real about it.”
“Right, brother. That’s why it’s so damned obvious to everyone else that you and Emma are in love. And I’m also including the ones who know the engagement is temporary. God, even her father buys it. That’s how clear it is.”
Jake frowned again. “I take back what I said about you being wise.”
CJ laughed. “Sometimes the one right in it is the last to know. Like I was. Now it’s you.”
Before Jake could tell CJ just how wrong he was about his and Emma’s fake engagement, the nurse came in for the vitals check. She was thrilled to see CJ had woken and paged his doctor.
Everyone believed he and Emma were in love? Jake supposed he could understand where folks would get that idea. He had gone to Emma’s ultrasound appointment with her and seemed transfixed by the images right out in public. That reaction wasn’t fake. And he did spend Saturday night’s dance glued to Emma’s side and talking to her until they got into their spat and she left—which might give some the idea there was passion between them.
As the nurse took CJ’s blood pressure, Jake felt his own rising. How exactly did he feel about Emma Hurley? He cared about her, yes. He thought she was stunningly beautiful and sexy, yes. He loved being around her, talking to her, listening to her, and he admired her worldview and the way she wanted to be on her own, be her own woman, even though he had to point
out that accepting help and friendship didn’t make her any less self-sufficient. He thought about her all the time. Fantasized about her at night as he lay in bed. Even Redford, his cat, had tossed him over for Emma, and now he slept curled up on the edge of her bed.
So did he love her? Ever since he’d met her, he’d tried to keep the word from his head, from moving too close to the surface of his heart where he might be too aware of it. He’d tamped his feelings back down, the way he always had.
Danged kid brother was right. About a lot of things.
Hell yes, he loved Emma Hurley.
But how he felt about her was beside the point when he knew that Emma didn’t want a real relationship or a father for her child. And how could he fight for her when doing so meant proving to her that he wasn’t listening to what she wanted?
* * *
Jake’s heart might be heavy, but he knew he could lighten someone else’s with his news. Instead of heading home from the hospital, he drove to Edmund Ford’s mansion, where Sarah Mack, his birth mother, lived.
As he parked beside Sarah’s little yellow VW Beetle in the driveway, relieved that she was home, he was very aware that Sarah Mack was the one other person in the world who felt as he did where his twin was concerned. The wondering, the uncertainty, the burning in his veins to know something. Sarah felt that too.
Jake rang the bell and waited. The door opened, and there was Sarah, holding what looked to be a blond wig.
“Jake! I’m so glad to see you. I heard about your brother’s accident and sent flowers to his hospital room. I’m so glad he’s on the mend and will be fine. You must have been worried sick.”
“I was. And very guilty.”
“Guilty?” she repeated. “Why?”
“It has to do with why I’m here.”
Her expression concerned, Sarah took his hand and led him inside, shutting the door behind him. “Edmund isn’t home—he’ll be sorry to have missed you—but I’m glad we’ll have some private time to talk. What happened, Jake?”
