by Mary McHugh
Standing Ovations for Mary McHugh’s Happy Hoofer Mystery Series
CHORUS LINES, CAVIAR, AND CORPSES
“The Happy Hoofers bring hilarity and hijinks to the high seas—or in this case, a Russian river cruise where murder is nothing to tap at. The cruise finds them kick-ball-changing and flap-kicking their way across Russia on a ship where murder points to more than a few unusual suspects.”
Nancy Coco
“A fun read . . . the elements of hilarity and camaraderie between the characters make Chorus Lines, Caviar, and Corpses intriguing and worth the read.”
RT Book Reviews
“A page-turning cozy mystery about five friends in their fifties dancing their way across Russia. From the first chapter, McHugh delivers.... The cast of characters includes endearing, scary, charming, crazy, and irresistible people. Besides murder and mayhem, we are treated to women who we might want as our best friends, our shrinks, and our travel companions.”
Jerilyn Dufresne
“Featuring travel tips and recipes, this series debut features plenty of cozy adventure for armchair travelers and mystery buffs alike. Sue Henry and Peter Abresch fans will be delighted with this alternative.”
Library Journal
“Spasibo, Mary McHugh—that’s Russian for ‘thank you.’ Chorus Lines, Caviar, and Corpses is a huge treat for armchair travelers and mystery fans alike, as five spirited tap dancers cruise from St. Petersburg to Moscow undeterred by a couple of shipboard murders. Vivid description and deft touches of local color take the reader right along with them.”
Peggy Ehrhart
“A fun book! Mary McHugh’s Chorus Lines, Caviar, and Corpses is, quite literally, a romp. It has a little bit of everything, from tongue-in-cheek travel tips to romance and recipes (and, oh, are they good). Not even the most jaded reader will be able to resist plucky Tina Powell and her cadre of capering cougars aboard a cruise ship where death is on the menu, along with the caviar. What could be more delicious?”
Carole Bugge
“If you can’t afford a Russian cruise up the Volga, this charming combination murder mystery travelogue, which mixes tasty cuisine and a group of frisky, wisecracking, middle-aged chorines, is the next best thing.”
Charles Salzberg
“I just finished Chorus Lines, Caviar, and Corpses! Oh, WOW, was it great! I read it in less than two days. So good! Thank you for writing this book, and I can’t wait till the next one!”
Shelley ’s Book Case
“I really enjoyed reading about the Happy Hoofers’ trip on a Russian river cruise. This book had a lot of action. I learned a lot about Russia that I never knew before. Great job, Mary. I look forward to the next installment in the Happy Hoofers Mystery Series.”
Melina’s Book Blog
“I loved ‘The Happy Hoofers’ immediately. What a fun group. This mixes some of my favorite things in one book—a cruise ship setting, a group of friends, and a murder mystery. What could be better? This book moved along at a fast pace and had engaging characters—some nicer than others, of course. Add those things to a great setting and it’s off on a wild adventure with a very interesting cast of characters.”
Socrates’ Book Review
FLAMENCO, FLAN, AND FATALITIES
“Flamenco, Flan, and Fatalities serves up just what it says: good entertainment, good food, and good mystery! I am looking forward to reading other books in this series.”
Back Porchervations
“Talk about transporting the reader—I felt as if I were in Spain for the last few days.”
Socrates Book Reviews
“I enjoyed this book a little better than I did the first Happy Hoofer mystery. There were a lot of twists and turns in this book that kept me guessing.”
Melina’s Book Blog
“I adored this cozy mystery; everything is wonderful: the places, the plot, the characters, the food . . .”
LibriAmoriMiei
“The characters have depth with unique characteristics and conflicts.”
Christa Reads and Writes
“I think I’ve fallen in love with this series! No joke. How can you not love a cozy series with a group of dancers called the Happy Hoofers?
It’s impossible, I tell you.”
A Chick Who Reads
“It is a delightful trip with these ladies covering dancing, information about Spain, photography tips, a little romance and drama, and some great food and recipes.”
Lilac Reviews
“I especially liked the descriptions of the scenery and the places they visited, including the restaurants, and that there were recipes for some of the things that they tried along the way.”
THe GaL iN THe BLue MaSK
“It was fun to see how all the characters interacted and how their thought processes worked.”
Laura’s Interests
“You will laugh your way through this fantastic read. The characters are hilarious and the story line will keep you moving through the pages until the end.”
Shelley’s Book Case
“This is a first-time read for me by this author and I adored her book.... The characters are a hoot.”
Bab’s Book Bistro
“I loved this book and reading about the great recipes included in the story. This book was full of adventure and mystery and had pulled me in and wouldn’t let go!”
Community Bookstop
“Flamenco, Flan, and Fatalities is a lot of fun, a great read! I liked reading about the camaraderie of the five friends, and their sightseeing in Spain, just as much as trying to figure out whodunit. I really enjoyed it, and recommend Flamenco, Flan, and
Fatalities to Cozy Mystery fans—armchair travelers, especially, will enjoy touring northern
Spain on a luxury train with the Happy
Hoofers.”
Jane Reads
“A very humorous mystery with a key emphasis on friendship. There is a bit of romance, and the recipes are great too. This can be read as a stand-alone, but I recommend starting at the beginning with Chorus Lines, Caviar, and Corpses. They are quick, entertaining reads and a great way to spend an afternoon.”
Escape With Dollycas Into a Good Book
CANCANS, CROISSANTS, AND CASKETS
“Armchair travelers and wannabe tap dancers will enjoy the series, especially since author
McHugh employs the books to provide vicarious travel experiences, including the culinary delights of the current venue.
Tres magnifique!”
Mystery Scene Magazine
“This is a fast cozy murder and a clean read. It is entertaining. I will read more books from
Mary McHugh in the future.”
readalot
“I like how each book is told from a different Hoofer’s perspective, which lets the readers get to know each Hoofer a little better.”
Melina’s Book Blog
“Not much dancing takes place in Paris, but oh the food! Sprinkled liberally through the book are recipes so good I believe I gained a few pounds while reading this mystery.”
Laura’s Interests
“A very entertaining read with some tempting recipes and some amusing travel tips are included throughout the book.”
Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book
“I love this series, and this book just cemented that opinion for me.”
Book Babble
“All the characters are fun and whimsical, the story line is addictive and a total page turner. This book has everything a reader could ask for and more: There is humor, mystery, romance, friendship, a wonderful setting, and cute recipes.”
LibriAmoriMiei
Also by Mary
McHugh
The Happy Hoofers Mystery Series*
Chorus Lines, Caviar, and Corpses*
Flamenco, Flan, and Fatalities*
Cancans, Croissants, and Caskets*
Bossa Novas, Bikinis, and Bad Ends*
Cape Cod Murder
The Perfect Bride
The Woman Thing
Law and the New Woman
Psychology and the New Woman
Careers in Engineering and Engineering Technology
Veterinary Medicine and Animal Care Careers
Young People Talk about Death
Special Siblings: Growing up with Someone with a
Disability
How Not to Become a Little Old Lady
How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man
How to Ruin Your Children’s Lives
How to Ruin Your Marriage
How to Ruin Your Sister’s Life
Eat This! 365 Reasons Not to Diet
Clean This! 320 Reasons Not to Clean
Good Granny/Bad Granny
How Not to Act Like a Little Old Lady
If I Get Hit by a Bus Tomorrow, Here’s How to Re-
place the Toilet Paper Roll
Aging with Grace—Whoever She Is
Go for It: 100 Ways to Feel Young, Vibrant, Inter-
ested and Interesting after 50
*Available from Kensington Publishing Corp.
High Kicks, Hot Chocolate, and Homicides
A Happy Hoofers Mystery
Mary Mc Hugh
KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.
http:/www.kensingtonbooks.com
All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.
Table of Contents
Standing Ovations for Mary McHugh’s Happy Hoofer Mystery Series
Also by Mary McHugh
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Chapter 1 - Rock On Rockettes
Chapter 2 - Home, Sour Home
Chapter 3 - Scoop It!
Chapter 4 - I’m Late, I’m Late For A Very Important Date
Chapter 5 - It’s A Good Thing I Know How To Cook
Chapter 6 - And Baby Makes Three
Chapter 7 - When In Doubt, Eat Out
Chapter 8 - Get Me My Lawyer
Chapter 9 - Follow The Pretty Blue Path
Chapter 10 - Always Eat A Good Breakfast
Chapter 11 - How About A Circle Line Cruise?
Chapter 12 - Cruising At Sunset
Chapter 13 - Ayuda!
Chapter 14 - A Hoofer’s Prayer
Chapter 15 - Could Somebody Please Get The Door?
Chapter 16 - Merry Christmas!
Chapter 17 - Come For Dinner
Chapter 18 - New York, New York!
RECIPE FOR VINAIGRETTE SALAD DRESSING
RECIPE FOR CHEESE PUFFS
RECIPE FOR PASTRY SHELLS WITH CAVIAR
Acknowledgments
Teaser chapter
Teaser chapter
KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2016 by Mary McHugh
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the Publisher and neither the Author nor the Publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”
Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat & TM Off.
ISBN: 978-1-4967-0376-7
First Kensington Mass Market Edition: October 2016
eISBN-13: 978-1-4967-0377-4
eISBN-10: 1-4967-0377-4
First Kensington Electronic Edition: October 2016
To New York, the most exciting city in the world
Chapter 1
Rock On Rockettes
“What do you mean you’re going to dance with the Rockettes?” George said, buttering his croissant and holding out his cup for more coffee.
“It’s true,” I said. “We’re going to be part of their Christmas show.”
“But they’re professionals,” he said.
“So are we, George,” I said. “People pay us to dance. That makes us professionals.”
“Mary Louise, you’re a housewife,” he said. “Your job is here, taking care of this house. Taking care of me.”
I looked at this man I’d been married to for thirty years and wondered if he knew me at all. I had been dancing on cruise ships and trains and in hotels for the past couple of years with my friends Tina, Janice, Gini, and Pat. We call ourselves the Happy Hoofers. Our names have been all over the TV and newspapers because we’ve solved a few murders here and there. We are really good dancers, and Tina, our leader, gets more offers for jobs than we can accept.
Did I still love George? Sometimes I wasn’t sure. I thought I was in love with Mike Parnell, the doctor I met when we danced on a luxury train in northern Spain. His wife Jenny had died two years before, and he was lost without her. I have the same dark hair and blue eyes she had, and he fell in love with me. Not just because I looked like Jenny, but he thought I was like her in other ways too. He said I was kind to people who didn’t deserve it, that I always made people feel good about themselves, that I looked at life as an adventure. I tried not to love him back, but after that trip I seriously considered leaving George for him. Mike was so much fun, so interesting, so good to me.
That was the part that got me, I think. He was always thinking of me and what would make me happy. George was always thinking of how I could make him happy. I tried to excuse him by reminding myself that he had his own law practice in New Jersey, that he was overworked and tired a lot of the time.
Then I thought of Mike, an obstetrician, and pictured him delivering babies at all hours of the night. He worked just as hard as George, but he still put me first. Let it go. Mary Louise, let it go, I told myself. I was brought up to believe that you should hang in there, even when marriage wasn’t so great. That all marriages go through bad patches.
The kitchen door swung open and Tucker, our golden retriever, loped in and bumped his face on my leg. I gave him a hug.
“Hey Tucker,” I said. “Hungry?”
He wagged his tail so vigorously he almost whacked George on the leg.
I filled Tucker’s bowl with the dry stuff he loved and filled his water dish.
My cell rang. It was Tina Powell, the editor of a bridal magazine, and the leader of our Happy Hoofers dance troupe. We’ve been friends forever, since the days we worked at Redbook magazine together and the crazy trip we took across the country in a beat-up old car.
“Hi, Weezie,” she said. Only my closest friends are allowed to call me that. “Ready to meet the Rockettes? We’re supposed to show up at Radio City Music Hall this morning for a backstage tour. Peter’s going to drive us into the city. Can you believe we’re going to dance with them? The Rockettes!”
“No,” I said. “I still don’t believe it,” I said. “Tell me again why they’re letting us do this.”
“Just to have something different in their Christmas show this year. We’re only going to be a brief part of their program. We’re dancing to ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town,’ and we’re wearing very short Santa outfits with Santa hats. We come out on the stage alone and then all the Rockettes join us.”
“It’s incredible, Tina. What time are we leaving?”
“We’ll pick you up at nine. Oh, and bring your tap shoes.”
“We’re going to dance this morning?”
“I think they want to see how much training we need.”
“I can tell them,” I said. “A lot.”
“See you at nine, hon,” Tina said and hung up.
The idea of performing with the Rockettes on t
he stage of Radio City was so exciting I practically danced to the sink with the breakfast dishes.
“You’re going into the city today?” George asked. “I thought you were going to get the car washed.”
“Oh George, I can do that any time,” I said. “This is a chance to meet the Rockettes for the first time. Tina thought we might get the chance to dance a little today, but she wasn’t sure.”
I rinsed off the plates and juice glasses and stuck them in the dishwasher.
“Well, I hope you don’t plan to spend much time in the city.” George said. “There’s a lot to do around here with Christmas coming.”
“It’s only October,” I said, my happy mood disappearing down the drain. “I don’t even have to think about shopping and the tree and all that until the end of November. You should be glad I’m not in Thailand or some place like that. I’ll only be across the river in New York. I can get a lot of the stuff I need there.”
“Just be sure you’re back here in time for dinner,” he said, rattling his New York Times noisily.
