“I am sorry,” I found myself saying. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.
“How sad are we?” Ethan said, making me laugh as I wiped at my eyes.
“We are very sad.” He gave me a small smile.
“I am sorry, Carter.”
“Me too.” I moved to the end of the bed, closer to where he was. Ethan stood up and offered a hand down to me. Placing mine in his, I stood up. He pulled me into a hug, which I returned.
It felt good to finally get this whole Ethan thing off my shoulders. To finally tell Ethan that I was over him and that while I didn’t love him like that, he would always be one of the most important people in my life.
It might take a few hours for it to sink in that he liked me at one point too, but for now the both of us were just happy to finally say it out loud. The two of us had had silent love for each other, which was pretty funny. Two people silent about the love they had for someone they could never have.
“So…” Ethan pulled back and raised an eyebrow at me. “Gage Harper. Really?” I laughed and slapped his chest.
“Yes. He is more than you think he is.” I stepped out of his arms and sat back down on the edge of my bed.
“How are the two of us going to act around each other now?”
“Like people. You don’t have to immediately be best friends because you are half-siblings. Just get to know him, let him know you, be civil with one another.”
“Harper, civil? Yeah, right.” Ethan shook his head at me.
“He hasn’t had it easy, Ethan, and you haven’t either. That is something you two can bond over. You have to give him a chance.”
“I guess I have to, don’t I?”
“Yeah, unless you want me to hurt the both of you.”
Ethan was quiet for a moment before he spoke again.
“Is he really an underground fighter?” He actually sounded a little excited as he asked.
“He is. And he is amazing to watch.”
“Wait? You’ve seen him fight?” I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness.
“Yes. That is kind of how we met,” I partially lied. He didn’t really need to know how we met.
“You went to an underground fighting ring by yourself?”
“No. Amy, Macey, and I went together, and Gage just so happened to be fighting that night.” I shrugged. It was hard to think that happened about four months ago.
“So, you are telling me if I went over to his house right now, he could kick the shit out of me?”
“No, I am saying he would kick the shit out of you.” I grinned.
“Damn. I thought those rumors were fake.”
“Most are, but not that one.”
“Does your dad know about him being a fighter?” I paused.
“Umm…I don’t think so. Let’s keep that to ourselves, okay?”
“Who would have thought Carter Miller would end up with a guy like Gage Harper?” Ethan shook his head at that.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“That you are a goody-two-shoes, kind, innocent, sweet girl. And Gage is an underground fighter—not innocent, rude, crazy, and an asshole.”
“Is there a point to this?” I asked, giving him a look.
“Just saying opposites do attract.”
“There is more than meets the eye to Gage.” I thought back to everything that had happened between the two of us. Sure, he could be an asshole at times, but he had shown me more often than not that he was a good guy. He means well; he just doesn’t know how to show that he cares sometimes.
“As long as you are happy, I guess.”
“I am. I am very happy.”
Chapter Six
Ethan
I glanced at the house that I was currently parked in front of. I wasn’t entirely sure why I was here, or what I would say when I went up to the door, but after talking with Carter yesterday, I knew I had to make things right. I had to talk to Gage about all of this and set things straight.
It was clear that being away from Gage was killing Carter, and if Gage loved her as much as I thought he did, this wasn’t going well for him either. All of this was because of me. Because I decided to look into Gage Harper and found something completely different than I imagined.
At first it was to see if he was a good guy. I heard enough around campus to know he wasn’t the nicest, most romantic guy out there. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t lying to Carter and using her. I was hoping to find out that he was an underground fighter or something, just so I could use that as leverage to get him to back off. Of course, though, I had to find out he was my half-brother, and that my father cheated on my mother for a long time.
It didn’t make sense at first. How could my father cheat on my mother? My mother is great…well, was—before they really got into the business and extended it overseas. She used to be a great mom, but after my birthday one year, she just stopped being a mom. She turned into a work mom, and I had nannies or Luke’s parents to take care of me.
Matching up Gage’s age with mine, I found out my father cheated on my mother before she got pregnant with me. I knew Gage was a little older than me. I didn’t know when he stopped seeing Gage’s mother or what exactly happened. I did know he used to go on a lot of business trips when I was very little. I remember because my mom would cry when he would leave. Then, one day, he stopped going and actually stayed home for a few months.
During that time my family changed. My parents were happy for a while, then suddenly they just became obsessed with the business and left me behind. I hated my father for this. I hated him before for never being there, but now for cheating on my mother and having a child with another woman! And the end result being Gage Harper of all people.
These last few months, I had been around Gage enough to know he wasn’t a terrible guy. I just thought he wasn’t the right guy for my Carter. But seeing how happy Carter was with him, I couldn’t do anything about it anymore. She wasn’t mine. I couldn’t take away her happiness because I was jealous.
Jealousy is a weird thing. Normally I wasn’t so jealous of girls, even girls I’d dated. They could fool around with whomever they wanted and the same went for me. It was a mutual agreement of sorts. But when it came to Carter, I found myself very jealous of Gage. I didn’t like her spending time with him, or giving him that beautiful smile of hers. Whenever it came to Carter, I was always jealous.
Carter was so beautiful, but she didn’t know that. I had known her since she was in diapers, and her entire life she had put herself down. She didn’t think she was as pretty as the other girls or gave herself enough credit. I hated when she did that. And that was what made me hate Gage even more than before.
Seeing her become a different person when he was around was what hurt the most. She never acted that way when I was around, but then I had only myself to blame for that one. I never told her how I really felt years ago, so maybe if I had, we would be the ones together.
I couldn’t deny that I still felt something for her. I mean, when you have a crush on the same girl since you can remember, you will never fully get over her. I loved Amy. I did. This was just a different kind of love. And because I loved Carter, I was parked in front of Gage Harper’s house. Let’s just say I got his address kind of illegally.
Taking a deep breath, I finally took the keys out of the ignition and opened the door. I took my time walking to his front door. I hoped he was home, but a part of me hoped he wasn’t. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact he was related to me.
When I reached the door, I brought my hand up to knock. Before I could talk myself out of this, I banged my hand against it three times. I stood there awkwardly, looking around, waiting for someone to open the door. Gage’s house was nice. Even though it was wintertime, the front yard was still in great shape and there were some Christmas lights in the trees. It looked like a quaint little place. A place that held a lot of love.
I was about to knock again when the door finally opened. I
thought I’d see Gage’s mother behind the door, but instead I found his grandmother. At Thanksgiving I thought it was weird that Gage’s grandmother came instead of his mom, but I thought maybe she was busy with work or something.
“Can I help you?” she asked, looking me up and down.
“Hi. I am here to see Gage. Is he here?”
“Wait, you are that boy from Thanksgiving, over at Carter’s house.”
“Yes, ma’am. I am Ethan Galloway.” I smiled politely at her.
“I remember. Come in.” She moved to the side so I could enter the house. Glancing around, I realized this place felt really homey. My own home never felt this way. That was why I spent more time over at the Millers than at my own house, which was only few down from theirs.
“Gage is in his room. Down the hallway and second door to your right,” she instructed.
“Thank you.” I started for the hallway only to be stopped by her voice.
“I know what is going on, young man.” I slowly turned to face her, confused. “All her life my daughter did what she wanted, regardless of who she hurt or what she did. She never told me who got her pregnant, and I stopped asking. I knew the man would only break her heart in the end, but she didn’t care about that. She was so in love nothing else mattered to her. When she passed away and I took Gage in, I vowed not to let anyone hurt him the same way that man did my daughter.” She sent me a look.
“Ma’am, I am nothing like my father,” I said with as much conviction as I could.
“I know you aren’t because you wouldn’t be here otherwise. Now because you are related to my grandson, that means you are also mine as well. After you have made your amends with him and have acknowledged that you two are now brothers, I expect you to stay for dinner so we can get to know one another. Am I clear?”
I was half scared and half relieved she wasn’t angry with me for what my father did to her daughter. I didn’t have any grandparents, so the idea of having Gage’s grandmother as mine as well wasn’t a bad thought at all. While she seemed scary, she also seemed pretty cool.
“Yes, ma’am.” I nodded, swallowing thickly.
“Good. Now go make the kid feel better and make him go see Carter. He has been a huge pain in the ass the last four days.” She waved me off as she headed for the kitchen. I bit back a grin before heading to Gage’s room.
When I reached the door his grandmother had mentioned, I took a few calming breaths before knocking. I heard a brief “Come in,” so I slowly opened the door. I peeked my head inside and glanced around.
“Gram, I don’t want anything to eat,” Gage said. My gaze snapped to him. He was lying down on his bed, throwing a ball up in the air and catching it.
“Actually, it isn’t your grandma,” I said, moving more into the room. At the sound of my voice Gage jerked up.
“Galloway? What the fuck are you doing here?” He quickly moved off his bed until he was standing there, leering at me. “How did you get in here?”
“Your grandma let me in.” I kept the door slightly open just in case he came at me; that way I could quickly leave or his grandmother would hear.
“Get the fuck out!” He pointed to the door behind me.
“I want to talk to you.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk to you. Leave.”
“I came here to talk to you and I am not leaving until I do.”
“The door is that way.” He went and lay back on his bed, ignoring me.
“We are going to talk about this. You have had enough time to think.”
“You think I have had enough time to think about this? You are my half-brother, Ethan! Your father broke my mother and ruined my entire life. So sorry if I don’t want to talk to you.” He scoffed.
“Why do you think I am just like my father? You think I knew about this and kept the information to myself all these years? God, you are fucking stupid.” At that, Gage was once again up and coming toward me. I stood my ground, not scared of him in the least.
“What did you say?”
“I said, You. Are. Fucking. Stupid.” I was purposefully taunting him. I got the result I wanted. Just as the words came out of my mouth, a fist flew right at my face.
I’d been punched before in the face, but not by an underground fighter. His fist struck my eye and cheekbone so hard my head snapped to the other side. The guy definitely had power behind his punches.
I could taste blood in my mouth, and knew I would have a giant bruise on my face later today. Wiping my lip with my thumb, I turned back to face him.
“You done now?”
“Not even close,” he bit out.
“You can punch me all you want, but that doesn’t make any of this not true.” My face throbbed as I talked. “I came here because of Carter.” At the mention of her name, his eyes softened a bit and his hands unclenched.
“She is okay, right?” I wanted to be a dick and say no, but I wasn’t going to do that.
“She is fine. Miserable, but fine.” I moved past him and sat down in his desk chair. I wiped my lip again, silently cursing him for punching me. But I deserved it. I deserved to be hit like that because of what I had done.
I knew none of this was really my fault, but I felt responsible for what my father did. I felt like all of this happened because of me, and that I deserved to be punished for it. I felt sick for even being associated with my father right now.
“You know you can’t be mad at her for all of this,” I said, looking over at him.
“She didn’t want to tell me this, so what else has she not told me? She probably lied about not being in love with you, or that she fucked you or something.” I clenched my fists wanting to launch myself at him for what he was saying about Carter, but I knew he was just angry and hurt.
“I know it and so do you. Carter is not that kind of girl. Hell, she wouldn’t even let her first boyfriend kiss her until their tenth date.” And that was true. Luke and I used to watch from the window when he dropped her off at home to make sure he didn’t do anything.
“She kept this from me, though. And so did you.”
“I had a reason to, Gage. I wanted to make sure all of this was true before I said anything. I just…I shouldn’t have told Carter before you, and at the Christmas party. I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and I knew Carter would understand. She always does.” I ran a hand through my hair as I spoke. “She didn’t want to tell you because she knew what you would do, and you ended up doing it anyway.”
“This is all just too fucked up.” He shook his head, sitting on the edge of his bed.
“It is really fucked up.”
We sat there for a few minutes in silence. Neither of us wanted to talk, and we were wrapped in our own thoughts.
“I am sorry it had to be my family, man,” I finally said. Gage looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “My family is fucked up. Parents are always gone on business, never home for more than twenty-four hours at a time, and then they’re flying off to somewhere else. Honestly, if it weren’t for the Millers, I would probably be some spoiled rich douchebag.”
“You got the douchebag part down.” I let out a chuckle and shook my head.
“Just for the record, nothing has ever happened between Carter and me. When she loves someone, she loves them with her whole heart, not just a little bit. We love each other, but she has moved on and I am fine with that now.” Well as fine as I would be at the moment.
“Shit. I fucked this up, didn’t I?” For the first time Gage looked worried and scared.
“You did. But you can fix this. It’s Carter; she will forgive you.” I shrugged it off. Carter was not one to hold onto grudges. “But you may want to make a grand gesture or something. Never hurts.” He nodded, deep in thought.
“Okay, since the two of you have made up, how about some dinner?” Gage’s grandma suddenly spoke, making me jump. I had no idea she was standing there or for how long she had listening. Across from me Gage just rolled his eyes.
As muc
h fun as it sounded to stay here and eat dinner with them, it would probably be very awkward and weird honestly, but I had another thing I had to do.
“I am sorry, Mrs. Harper, but I can’t stay tonight. I have something else I have to take care of first. Rain check?” I was slightly scared of her response. I didn’t want my balls to get cut up or something.
“That is okay. But you are to come back, you hear?” she said sternly before she broke into a smile. A smile that only grandmothers had.
“Sounds good.” I nodded, standing up. “So, Gage, are we…okay?” I wasn’t sure if we would ever be okay around each other, but this was a start. We wouldn’t be like other brothers who are close, but we’d take it one step at a time.
“We are…okay. For now.” I held back a laugh at that and instead nodded in his direction. I headed for the door, but was stopped by Mrs. Galloway.
What happened next surprised me. Her arms shot out and wrapped around me, pulling me into a hug. I had to squat down a bit so I wouldn’t knock her head with my shoulder. I wasn’t really used to hugs. I awkwardly hugged her back, not knowing what to do. She was a weird grandma, I tell you.
“Come back soon,” she said as she pulled away. I found myself smiling at her and agreeing.
Moving past her and sending Gage one last nod, I headed for the door. Last night I had a lot of time to think through things and aside from coming here, I knew I had one more thing to do. One thing that was going to hurt, but was necessary.
Getting in my car, I felt a little bit lighter. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe one day Gage and I could act okay around each other, but for now I was happy with this. I was happy that I took Carter’s words and decided to do something. Something to help all three of us move on.
***
Silent Love Part Four_Forbidden Series Page 9
