The Winter Garden

by Heidi Swain

I didn’t have a definitive route, so we wandered where our feet took us and after about half an hour ended up at a church gate. The windows were beautifully illuminated and we could hear the strains of the organ and far more voices than I would have expected for a chilly Sunday evening service. It was really rather lovely.

  ‘Oh,’ I said, just remembering the date, ‘it must be the first service of advent. That’s today, isn’t it?’

  Finn frowned. ‘I’ve no idea,’ he said, ‘church isn’t really my thing.’

  ‘Nor mine,’ I smiled, ‘but I do remember the story from school and my friend Eloise used to talk about the Blue Peter advent crown which was made from coat hangers, candles and tinsel.’

  ‘That sounds like a fire hazard,’ Finn laughed. ‘Do you want to go in?’

  ‘Not with Nell,’ I said, ‘but we could sit in the porch.’

  It was cosy out of the wind and with the muffled sounds of the service reaching us through the heavy wooden door.

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been to a church service,’ said Finn as we made ourselves as comfortable as we could on the wooden bench.

  ‘What never?’

  I hadn’t been to all that many myself, but I knew my way around an Easter and Christingle service.

  ‘Not a proper one,’ he sniffed. ‘But I do love the architecture,’ he admiringly added. ‘Did you know Norwich has two cathedrals?’

  ‘No,’ I said, ‘I didn’t.’

  ‘The Catholic and the Anglican,’ he elaborated. ‘There are green men carved into the Anglican. Maybe I’ll take you one day and show you.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ I smiled, amazed that he had suggested it. ‘I’d like that very much indeed.’

  We sat in silence then, listening to the music, and I felt happy that we were going to make it through the entire day without falling out.

  ‘It’s been a good day, hasn’t it?’ I eventually said.

  ‘A great day,’ he smiled, leaning forward and blowing on his hands.

  I hadn’t realised he hadn’t got gloves on.

  ‘Here,’ I said, wedging Nell’s lead under my leg and holding out my hands.

  He turned a little and put his hands in mine and I rubbed them briskly, trying to keep the action as far from intimate as possible.

  ‘How’s that?’ I asked after a few seconds.

  ‘Better,’ he said, removing one and putting it in his pocket, but not the other. ‘Much better, thanks.’

  I swallowed and carried on staring at his hand in mine.

  ‘You know, I’m not very good at this sort of thing, Freya,’ he said, gripping my fingers.

  Given how he had shrugged off our kiss, I wasn’t at all surprised to hear him admit that.

  ‘And I find it pretty excruciating when everyone keeps implying that we’d be a good match, like we’re a couple out of an Austen novel or something.’

  I couldn’t help but smile and squeezed his hand in response.

  ‘But I do like you,’ he told me. ‘Really like you, I mean.’

  It took me a minute to take in what he had said. Our kiss must have had some impact on him after all.

  ‘And I really like you too,’ I quietly responded, my voice catching a little as I realised that the attraction wasn’t all one way. ‘I was kind of hoping that you’d say something like that after what happened in the studio.’

  I risked a glance and found his eyes trained on mine.

  ‘It was what happened in the studio that made me back off,’ he then said. ‘You’ve no doubt worked out that I have trust issues, Freya.’

  I remembered how Zak had said he was damaged goods.

  ‘And I just can’t risk getting involved with someone who is already—’

  His explanation abruptly ended as the church door opened and the porch was filled with light. Nell leapt to her feet and gave a bark and I dropped Finn’s hand as I made a grab for her lead. In spite of the location I inwardly cursed, frustrated to have our moment interrupted and my chance to explain a few things lost.

  ‘Hello, you two,’ said Kate, who was part of the throng. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘Nell needed a walk,’ I told her, ‘and Finn kindly offered to accompany me as it was so dark.’

  ‘Hey, you two,’ grinned Luke, as he caught Kate up with the girls in tow.

  ‘Are you heading back now?’ Kate asked.

  Finn and I looked at each other and Nell strained keenly towards the gate and away from the crowd.

  ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I suppose we are.’

  ‘In that case,’ said Luke transferring Jasmine from his hand to Finn’s as he picked Abigail up, ‘let’s walk together, shall we?’

  And that was the end of that.

  Chapter 21

  Shocked to have heard Finn say, that he liked me, really liked me that is, and knowing that I could no more keep my feelings for him on a professional footing than I could fly to the moon, I started the new week determined to sit him down and talk properly, with no interruptions and no misunderstandings. I’d had enough of those to last me a lifetime.

  I had no idea where Finn and I would be headed after that, but at least we could move forward with a clean slate and a relationship based on firm and honest foundations. On my part anyway. Whether or not he decided to share with me the reasons why he had trust issues would be up to him.

  Well, that had been my plan. Unfortunately, the weather, and life in general, had other ideas and the week kicked off in unexpected ways.

  ‘Don’t worry about coming in tomorrow,’ I told Chloe, when I called her Monday evening, and I had said the same to Graham earlier in the day. ‘This snow is only going to harden overnight and we’ll end up doing more harm than good if we go anywhere near the lawns, and digging’s going to be impossible.’

  Not much of the white stuff had fallen, it was more of an icing sugar dusting than a ‘do you wanna build a snowman’ layer, but with the drop in temperature, it was enough to stop any practical outdoor work happening. It was very pretty though and, sticking to the paths, Graham and I had walked around the garden taking photographs to capture the icy beauty and frosted effect.

  The old bandstand looked particularly lovely, as did Prosperous Place itself, surrounded by a white haven of peace and tranquillity. The road beyond the confines of the garden wall was definitely quieter and the only birdsong we heard came from a robust robin, who was keen to share his annoyance with the world through his shrill persistent outbursts.

  Together, using straw brought in for the Grow-Well hens, Graham and I had cosseted and wrapped the tree ferns and there wasn’t much more we could do after that, besides wait it out.

  ‘Well, if you’re sure,’ said Chloe, who had already told me her school was closed because of heating issues.

  ‘I am,’ I insisted, ‘have another day at home.’

  ‘To be honest,’ she confided, ‘it couldn’t be better timed. What with my wreath-making session scheduled for Saturday, this is the perfect opportunity to finalise my plans and make sure I’ve got everything.’

  ‘There you are then,’ I smiled, ‘make the most of it.’

  ‘I intend to, and you’re still up for helping, aren’t you?’

  ‘Absolutely.’

  Given how wonderful the first Winterfest weekend had been, I was very much looking forward to it. Saturday I would help Chloe, and maybe even make something for my own front door and Sunday, Poppy and Mark were going to be sharing their chutney- and bread-making skills.

  I hadn’t formally signed up to that one, but Poppy had called to ask if I would like a spot which had become available in exchange for helping tidy up. Her friend Lou, who runs the vintage shop nearby, had offered to help but now had to duck out.

  ‘And how are things between you and Finn?’ Chloe asked. ‘Did you manage to go the entire day on Sunday without falling out?’

  ‘We did,’ I told her, but I didn’t go into details about our chat in the church porch. ‘I even went to talk to h
im today.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  ‘But he wasn’t about.’

  ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Not good then. I can’t imagine he was working for his dad today. A building site wouldn’t be much fun in this weather, would it?’

  ‘About as much fun as the garden,’ I sighed, hoping we weren’t down for another sprinkling of snow any time soon.

  There was still plenty to finish ahead of the official Winter Garden opening and sub-zero temperatures and more snow would only hamper the schedule.

  ‘Well, let’s keep our fingers crossed for better weather,’ Chloe said, ‘and I’ll see you on Thursday and in the meantime, keep on the right side of Finn, okay?’

  I didn’t see how I could to do that when I couldn’t find him, but at least his absence limited our opportunity to argue.

  ‘And don’t forget to put up your advent calendar,’ I reminded my friend. ‘It’s the first tomorrow.’

  ‘So it is,’ she tutted, ‘where have the months gone?’

  I mulled her question over as I hung up my two calendars. It was astonishing to think that so much could happen in such a short space of time. I was delighted with my decision to be brave and take up Luke’s offer to move to Nightingale Square. I loved living in the house and working in the garden, and my neighbours had been more than welcoming.

  I had barely been here five minutes before I was feeling like a part of the community, so my courageousness had definitely paid off, but I still missed Eloise, and that morning I hadn’t been able to stop myself from wondering if Broad-Meadows had woken to snow and what it all looked like.

  The decision to not keep visiting Eloise’s grave had been a difficult one, even though I knew that it was the right thing to do, for Nell especially, but I missed the estate too. I often pictured the magnificent vistas and wide-open spaces, both with and without snow, but that was only to be expected, I supposed, especially as I didn’t know what was happening to them. Had Jackson sold the place yet? And if he had, were the new owners planning to flatten everything?

  Nell pushed her cold nose against my hand and I stroked her head.

  ‘No peeking,’ I told her, and she woofed in response.

  One of the calendars was for her and filled with doggy treats. The other was a hand-stitched and embroidered fabric beauty which Eloise had passed on to me. The pockets were just big enough to hold a wrapped chocolate.

  ‘Well, now, would you look at that,’ I said to Nell as I unwrapped a strawberry crème and popped it in my mouth, ‘I must have picked up one too many.’

  She didn’t look impressed, but then I’d counted out exactly twenty-four doggy treats for her.

  * * *

  Just as I expected, the ground was frozen solid the following morning and after a tour of the garden and a detour to see if Finn was at the studio, (he wasn’t), Nell and I retreated to the warmth of home and spent the day indoors. After lunch, I was working my way through some paperwork at the kitchen table when there was a sharp rap on the door.

  ‘Zak,’ I frowned, ‘what are you doing here?’

  ‘Catching hypothermia,’ he shivered.

  ‘Sorry,’ I said, quickly stepping aside, ‘come in. The wind’s got up, hasn’t it?’

  ‘Just a bit,’ he said, rushing over the threshold and bringing a wonderfully crisp smell of cold air in with him. ‘It’s enough to freeze your bits off out there. I thought the walk here would do me good, but I’m not so sure now.’

  ‘It’s hardly brick-laying weather, is it?’

  ‘Definitely not,’ he said, nodding to the toolbox he was holding, ‘which is why I thought it would be the perfect time to check out your pipework. The house’s pipework, I mean, as Luke requested. I’ve brought a few bits with me in case anything crops up.’

  ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘You’re far better off in here than out there and it would be good to get it done. Luke keeps asking if you’ve had a chance to take a look. Let me make you a drink first though and you can thaw out a bit.’

  Nell was delighted to see him and we chatted over tea and biscuits before he headed upstairs to make a start. I had no idea what it was that he was going to do. I didn’t think there were any leaks, although the cold water tap in the bathroom sink did have a tendency to drip.

  ‘Let me know if you need anything,’ I shouted after him up the stairs.

  ‘Another tea wouldn’t go amiss.’

  I set the kettle to boil before carrying on with my admin, but I’d barely started before there was another knock on the door. I looked at Nell and rolled my eyes. Perhaps it would be best to abandon my work altogether.

  ‘Finn,’ I laughed when I opened the door and found myself faced with the biggest bundle of willow whips, ‘I take it that is you behind there?’

  My heart cantered at the sight of him, even though he looked more like an extra from The Wicker Man than a Norse god.

  ‘It is,’ he confirmed, his broad smile appearing around the side. ‘I wondered if these might be any good for Chloe’s wreath-making session on Saturday.’

  ‘I’m sure they would be perfect,’ I told him. ‘They’ll make the ideal natural base. Where did you find them?’

  He propped the bundle against the wall, making sure it was in a spot where the wind wouldn’t catch it, and followed me into the kitchen.

  ‘I’ve been to see my mate at Skylark Farm again,’ he told me, which explained his absence from the studio, ‘and then I had to go to Wynthorpe Hall.’

  ‘Why does that name ring a bell?’ I frowned, reaching for another mug.

  ‘It’s the place where Luke got his Winterfest idea from.’

  ‘Oh yes,’ I said, ‘I remember. What were you doing there?’

  ‘Angus, the patriarch of the Connelly family who live there, wanted to talk about a potential commission. Jake had shown him the pictures I sent him of the hares and dragons and he wanted to talk through the possibility of creating something for the hall.’

  ‘Oh wow, Finn,’ I smiled, relieved that we had eased straight into a conversation, ‘that’s amazing.’

  ‘It could be,’ he swallowed. ‘If I can pull it off.’

  ‘I’m sure you will,’ I told him. ‘Your work is phenomenal, and with an endorsement from this Angus, it could really be the start of something, couldn’t it?’

  ‘But this is a much bigger project,’ he frowned, not catching my excitement. His reserve echoed some of what I’d felt when I found myself fretting that I’d bitten off more than I could chew with the Winter Garden. ‘Anyway, I’ve promised to submit some sketches but advised him that if he would like to go ahead, then I need to complete the work for Luke first.’

  ‘Will that be an issue, do you think?’

  ‘Oh no, he didn’t mind at all, and when I explained about what’s happening here with the Winterfest, he offered me the bundle of willow whips for Chloe, free of charge.’

  ‘He sounds lovely.’

  ‘They all are,’ Finn laughed, ‘and it’s not just the family living in the hall. There’s the handyman, cook, housekeeper and groundsman and someone else in the cottage in the woods. From what I could make out, they’re from all walks of life and backgrounds. Anna, the partner of one of the sons, told me that if you go there for even just a few weeks, it’s most likely that you’ll fall in love and never leave. It’s a fairy-tale place.’

  ‘A bit like here,’ I suggested.

  I felt my face colour, but thankfully Finn didn’t seem to notice. I had meant fall in love with the place as opposed to anyone living in it. I wasn’t ready to admit that just yet.

  ‘Yes,’ said Finn, running a hand through his windswept hair. ‘Luke might not have the acreage that Wynthorpe Hall has, but he’s definitely creating the magical urban equivalent, isn’t he?’

  ‘It’s beginning to feel that way.’

  We were quiet for a second and I wished Zak wasn’t working upstairs so I could pick up our conversation from Sunday. It would have been the perfect time to p
roperly clear the air, what with Finn’s exciting news and me, comfortable in my own home.

  ‘Would you like a tea or coffee?’ I offered, knowing our talk would have to wait.

  ‘Coffee please,’ said Finn. ‘It’s freezing out there. I could do with warming up.’

  ‘So why have you carried the willow over here?’ I asked, as I splashed milk into the mugs. ‘Chloe’s going to love it, but it’ll be better off stacked in the garden.’

  ‘It was just an excuse really,’ he huskily said, coming to stand next to me.

  ‘An excuse,’ I blinked up at him, my breath tight in my chest.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘Coming to see you.’

  ‘Did you need one?’

  ‘I just thought it would make turning up on your doorstep a bit easier.’

  ‘And why did you want to turn up on my doorstep?’

  ‘To carry on the conversation that we started on Sunday of course.’

  Off went my heart again, galloping about all over the place.

  ‘Well,’ I said, trying to sound relaxed, ‘you didn’t need an excuse to do that. You could have just turned up without a horticultural accompaniment.’

  ‘I tried that before I left,’ he said, turning endearingly red, ‘and I didn’t even get through the gate.’

  ‘I see,’ I smiled.

  ‘Don’t laugh,’ he tutted. ‘It’s not funny.’

  ‘I’m not laughing, I’m just smiling.’

  ‘Well, whatever,’ he said, a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his luscious lips, ‘I realised that I was going to need an excuse to come over and Angus Connelly kindly provided me with one.’

  ‘And I’m very glad that he did,’ I told him, giving him a nudge.

  ‘Are you really?’

  ‘I am really,’ I whispered.

  ‘Well,’ he sighed, reaching to tuck an unruly strand of hair behind my ear in a gesture that now felt achingly familiar, ‘that’s all right then, isn’t it?’

  I was just about to tell him that it was more than all right when there was a thud from upstairs which was accompanied by some extremely blue expletives.

  ‘Oh,’ said Finn, as he looked up at the ceiling and took a step back, ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you had company.’