“Such as?”
“Rack of lamb, shrimp scampi, crab fettuccini, Italian soup, just to name a few.”
Jake fell silent for a moment, then said, “Meals around my place weren’t always the standard fare. We were lucky to get a bowl of stale cereal with powdered milk. My old man would drink away his paycheck, which wouldn’t leave my mom with much to buy groceries with. The most wholesome meals we ate were at school. Thank God for subsidized food programs, otherwise we might’ve starved. I grew up to realize that food was simply fuel. Without it, your body stops functioning.”
Jake’s admission pulled at her heart. She imagined the little boy he might’ve been, hungry and bone-thin, and knew if her uncle had been in Jake’s life, he would’ve stuffed him with all manner of good food just as he’d done to her. “Every child deserves a good childhood,” Kat said softly. “I’m sorry yours was so bad. Do you have any happy memories at all?”
“Sure,” he said, surprising her. “That’s the thing about kids...no matter how bad the situation, they always manage to find a bright spot somewhere. Nathan and I used to go down to the creek during the summer and spend all day in the water. Our parents never cared where we went as long as we were out of their hair. Summers were better than winter because at least we could get away from them when it was hot. Winters were bleak. There was never enough wood for the fireplace, and it was too cold to go outside. Stuck inside with them was the worst.” He shot her a quick look. “What were your parents like?”
“Adventurous,” she answered with a smile. “And nothing like me. I used to wonder if I was switched at birth. They were so full of life. Hence, the skydiving in Brazil that killed them.”
“Where were you when this happened?”
“I was in Brazil, too. I was staying with a babysitter while they went to fly through the air. We were supposed to go to dinner when they returned. I don’t remember much after that. I think I blanked it out. Too painful. The next memory I have was being deposited with my uncle and crying a lot.”
“Your uncle sounds like a good man to take in his orphaned niece.”
“He was the best. He shelved everything in his life for me. I don’t know how I could ever repay him for that. He didn’t have to put his life on hold for me. Before that moment, he’d only ever seen me at a few Christmas dinners.”
“At least you had someone to take you in,” he said. “You could’ve ended up in foster care or worse, an orphanage.”
“Oh, I know how lucky I was. That’s why I owe such a debt of gratitude to him.”
“I wish we’d had someone in our lives who would’ve been willing to take us in, not that my parents would’ve latched loose, but it would’ve been nice to know someone out there cared.”
She nodded. “Feeling alone is the worst feeling in the world.”
He looked ready to agree, but then he must’ve realized he was sharing too much and pulled back, crumpling his trash and tossing it away in the trash compactor. “I’m going to do another perimeter search and then get our rooms situated. You good here?”
“Yeah, sure,” she said, disappointed in how quickly he reverted to Roboman when faced with sharing something personal. She pushed away her own tray of half-eaten food and sighed. How was she going to manage to get past that barrier if Jake didn’t let anyone get close to him? She understood why he kept the wall up—you couldn’t get hurt if you didn’t let anyone in. She knew that tactic pretty well, actually. Her childhood may not have been as tragic as Jake’s but her high school years were a blur of memories she was happy to leave behind. Suffice to say, Kat Odgers knew a thing or two about rejection.
She also knew how much it hurt to watch the world pass by from the sidelines.
And she had a feeling Jake knew, too.
Chapter 10
The place is secure, he told himself after his third perimeter search. At this point he was just tromping in circles in a lame attempt to avoid the real issue—the sleeping arrangements.
The minute he returned inside, Kat yawned and looked pointedly in his direction and he felt sweat pop along his hairline, though he did his best to appear as if he wasn’t feeling all edgy and twitchy like a damn meth addict.
“I’m really tired,” Kat said, rising. “Can you show me which room is going to be mine?”
“You’re sleeping with me,” he blurted out with little grace or forethought. What the hell was wrong with him? He hadn’t meant to announce it with so little preparation. God, he probably sounded like a bully. He cleared his throat and tried again, saying, “What I mean to say is, it’s safer if we stick together. With circumstances being the way they are, I would feel more secure if there wasn’t a wall separating us.”
Her cheeks pinked but she nodded vigorously. “Of course! That’s a very sound decision and I completely agree. I was going to suggest it but I didn’t want to seem as if I were just some silly woman eager to jump into bed with you. Because that’s not the case, you know.”
“Of course not,” he said gruffly. “This is strictly a safety precaution.”
“Yes. And I appreciate you making the sacrifice for me. I know I can be a bed hog.”
“You’re not a bed hog. If anyone is making a sacrifice, it’s you. I tend to kick the covers off.”
“I noticed that but it’s not a terrible offense. I can live with it.” She added hastily, “In the short term.”
He jerked a nod, glad that was done, but his chest felt incredibly tight, as if he was being used as a footstool for an elephant. He couldn’t stand the idea of sleeping apart but the knowledge that they were going to share a bed again filled him with tension. There was no winning this war with himself, he realized and let it go. No sense in dwelling. “Let’s turn in, then,” he suggested, going to shut off the lamps and double-check the locks before they headed to the master bedroom. He rummaged through his bag and found the T-shirt he’d given her to borrow the previous night and tossed it to her. She accepted it with a small smile. “It’s the best I can do at the moment,” Jake said.
“Thank you. I’m going to change,” she announced, then added, “Would you mind terribly if you shut off the lights before I come back out?”
“Of course,” he said, happy to oblige her modesty and thankful for her foresight. He didn’t know how he would handle seeing her so scantily dressed again. He was holding tightly to the reins of his control and just the memory of her sweet body caused his hands to tremble with the need to touch. He pulled his shirt free and folded it neatly, followed by his jeans. As always he lined his boots up beside the bed. Satisfied, he climbed into the double bed and clicked off the lights.
He squeezed his eyes shut so as not to catch even the tiniest glimpse of Kat’s body and only opened them when he felt the mattress give under her slight weight as the covers went over her. Tense silence filled the small room when they both realized the bed was entirely too small to avoid touching one another. “I’m sorry if I’m crowding you,” he said.
“You’re not,” she said in a small voice. “I feel...safe.”
Her admission caused a warmth to spread across his body. He liked knowing that he was the one who made her feel that way. “Good,” he said, allowing a tiny smile. Minute by minute he slowly relaxed until when he was turning on his side, and he accidentally brushed flesh.
Flesh that should’ve been covered by his T-shirt.
“Kat...what are you wearing?”
Her tremulous answer nearly stopped his heart.
“Nothing.”
And Jake knew they were both in trouble.
* * *
Would he reject her? Kat’s heart galloped like a wild horse inside her chest as she held her breath, desperately hoping he wouldn’t scoff at her attempt at seduction, though she had to admit, it was a little on the pathetic side. When the heavy silence dragged
on, Kat started talking as if her life depended on it.
“I know how this looks,” she began hurriedly. “I’m throwing myself at you in some lame attempt at seduction and I wish I could deny it but it’s true. I don’t know the first thing about being sexy or coy, or how to get a guy to look at me in a romantic way, but the truth of the matter is, there’s a good chance I might die soon and I refuse to die without knowing what it’s like to be held and kissed by a man like you.”
“Kat—”
“No, let me say this while I still have the courage,” she interrupted, not willing to be shut down, not yet. “Jake...I want to know what I’ve been missing all these years. Let me tell you about my high school years. They were short and painful. I graduated early so I could get away from all the mean bullies who made my life miserable. I never got asked to the prom and I never got the dubious pleasure of suffering through awkward dates and fumbling backseat make-out sessions. You know what I was doing my teenage years? Studying. I was obsessed with graduating early because somehow I thought college would be better and it was, to a point. But I still missed out on some key college experiences.”
“Such as?” he asked, but his voice sounded strangely tight.
“Well, just by stereotypical standards, I never got the chance to question my sexuality. What if I like girls? I never got to kiss a girl. For that matter, I didn’t get to kiss that many boys, either, and the ones I kissed weren’t the hunky jocks. They were science nerds, like me. And contrary to that movie, Revenge of the Nerds, nerds are not better at it just because they fantasize more.” She grimaced at the memory of the slobberfest, clumsy tongue tangling that had occurred with her Physics lab partner. Ugh. What a mistake that had been. “The point is, I’ve missed out on a lot and I don’t want to go to my grave wishing I’d grabbed an opportunity when I still had a chance.” She leaned over to Jake and put her hand tentatively on his chest. She thrilled at the scant amount of chest hair she found beneath her fingertips. “Please, Jake...I need this.”
His fingers closed over hers and for a distressing moment she thought for sure he was going to gently remove her hand from his chest but instead he said softly, “Those boys were fools if they couldn’t see what a beautiful woman you are.”
Her breath hitched and foolish tears flooded her eyes. Why did it mean so much to hear him say that to her? She desperately wanted to believe that he spoke from his heart, but she was afraid he was only being polite. “You don’t have to say that. I’ve never been beautiful in my life and I’ve made peace with my looks.”
“You know I wouldn’t say something I didn’t believe,” he reminded her in a sultry whisper that made her toes curl. “Come here.”
She felt woozy but she leaned forward and nearly swooned when his soft lips met hers. “I don’t really know what I’m doing,” she admitted, nervousness setting in. This must be what performance anxiety felt like. “Perhaps you could give me some tips...”
“Kat, stop thinking so much,” Jake said with a growl against her lips. “And for God’s sake, stop talking.”
“Easier said than d—” Kat gasped as suddenly Jake’s hand took possession of her bare breast, shocking her into silence and catapulting her senses into pure overdrive. Jake took full advantage of her surprised silence and claimed her lips again, only this time, he demanded full participation, dipping his tongue inside her mouth while kneading her breast and causing her to whimper as tendrils of something wondrous began seeking out and electrifying her every erogenous zone.
“Oh!” she cried, wanting more of whatever this amazing feeling was. This was arousal, she realized dizzily. That crazy, almost-drunk feeling that people talked about in hushed whispers—that thing that toppled kingdoms and drove people to madness—yes! Oh, she liked it. No, she loved it! Female empowerment filled her veins and took control of her limbs as she wrapped her arms around Jake and pressed herself more closely against his hard, firm body. She gave herself fully to Jake’s marauding kisses, delighted in the way her skin danced with sensation as he devoured her flesh as if starved. And just when she thought it couldn’t become more fevered, more intense, Jake’s mouth descended on her—goodness gracious, she couldn’t even say the word!—but who needed words, anyway? His tongue! Plunging and tasting—kissing in the deepest, most sensual way—made her gulp the night air with desperate heaving breaths as an embarrassingly animalistic moan was ripped from her throat.
“Jake!” she cried, stiffening against the onslaught of beautiful glory that sang from her loins. This was heaven! Why had she waited so long? She crashed back to earth to a rushing in her ears and she realized dimly it was the blood screaming through her veins as her heart worked double-time.
That was awesome.
And she wanted to do it again.
* * *
Jake was hard as a stone but he managed to pull back before he took Kat without thought. His brain wasn’t entirely functioning properly. He knew he shouldn’t have done it but he was helpless to stop once he heard Kat’s impassioned plea. Well, that and the fact that she was naked pretty much destroyed every defense he had.
But he had a sense she was a virgin and he couldn’t take that from her...not like this. She deserved far better for her first time than a desperate poke from a virtual stranger. Except when he thought of someone else taking her virginity, he wanted to punch something. If he’d been thinking clearly, that one irrational feeling would’ve been the biggest red flag but he was nowhere near thinking clearly. All he wanted was to feel Kat beneath him. Her scent was on his mouth, chasing away the last vestige of rationality available to him and he was driven by a primal need to possess.
But somewhere, deep inside, a voice cautioned and he heard its dim call. He slowed his kisses but couldn’t quite stop completely as he framed her face with his hands to ask, “Kat, are you sure? Tell me to stop and I will.”
“Don’t you dare stop! I’ve waited too long for something this wonderful to happen to me,” she said in a breathy whisper. “I want this. I want this more than you can possibly know.”
“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” he asked, almost afraid to know the answer.
She hesitated before replying. “Yes,” she admitted, and he heard the anxiety in her voice. “You’re not going to hold that against me are you?”
“God, no. But—”
“But nothing. I’m not stupid. I know what I’m doing. Um, well, I know what I’m doing, per se, but I don’t really know what I’m doing, you know?”
He laughed at that. “Yes, I get it. I just want you to be sure. I don’t want you to regret giving me something so precious.”
He heard her inhale and worried he might’ve said something wrong but when she sealed her mouth to his, that fleeting moment of rational thought fled and within moments they were too wrapped up in each other to question whether their actions were prudent.
But when the moment occurred, Jake took care to enter her slowly, listening for the slightest indication of pain or distress, but aside from the smallest gasp, Kat simply wrapped her legs around his torso and pulled him deeper still. “Kat...wait,” he said between gritted teeth, desperately trying not to hurt her but she had other plans.
“It’s just a thin sheath of skin. I’m not made of China. I promise I won’t break,” she said, but he could tell she wasn’t enjoying this part. He’d never been with a virgin before and the pressure to make it pleasurable was nearly overwhelming until he felt the flutter light touch of her fingertips, smoothing away the tension in his forehead. “It’s okay,” she whispered, kissing him softly. “I promise.”
“I’m supposed to be the one reassuring you,” he said, returning the kiss and thrusting his hips gently. The building pressure in his loins signaled an impending end before they’d truly begun. He groaned, needing to last longer than a few thrusts. “I...need to think of baseball, I think,” he said.
“Baseball? That’s an odd turn-on,” she said, laughing.
“It’s not a turn-on. I hate baseball.”
“Oh, wait...what?”
“Sweet Kat...I’m trying to last but I’m really close to blowing,” he admitted, his eyes nearly crossing from the insane pressure. “God, I promise I’m usually able to last much longer. This is really embarrassing.”
She giggled and kissed him. “I find that incredibly sexy. And sweet. If you promise we can try this again...you can do your thing.”
“Negotiating?” Impressive. And damn hot. He kissed her hard. “Deal.”
He may have just made a deal with the devil but at the moment, he didn’t care.
All that mattered was the moment.
All that mattered was Kat.
Chapter 11
Kat stared up at the ceiling, listening to Jake’s labored breathing and she felt the unmistakably giddy feeling of infatuation setting in. She’d resigned herself to the knowledge that her first time would likely suck. That it likely would occur with someone far less sexy or virile as Jake Isaacs. Boy, was she glad she’d been way off. She turned to face Jake, happy as a clam, but her silly smile faded when she saw his somber expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did I do something wrong? Was I that bad? I’m a fast learner. If you give me some tips—”
Moving Target Page 8
