“Since you hate dating so much, how did you meet your long-term girlfriend?”
“We were in the army together. We were sort of thrown together and it was convenient.”
Katherine frowned. “That’s not very romantic.”
Jake laughed. “Yeah, that’s what she said. I guess I’m just not a romantic guy. I’m more of a straightforward kind of person. If I like you, I tell you. I don’t beat around the bush. And I don’t like games. So, there you have it. Me in a nutshell—not romantic, not the flowers-and-chocolate kind of guy. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me.”
“What do you have against flowers?”
“I feel they’re a useless waste of money. They’re expensive and they die a few days later. I don’t see the point.”
Kat stilled for a long moment. She loved flowers and no one had ever sent her flowers, but she used to watch with a fair amount of secret envy as other female coworkers had received pretty things by courier sometimes, and it’d made her wish she had someone in her life to send her a flower or two. “The point of flowers is that they’re pretty and they smell nice and they make a woman feel as if she’s wanted and appreciated.”
“There are other ways to show a woman she’s wanted and appreciated, aside from giving her something that’s going to die in a few days,” Jake said softly. She looked up to find him staring at her in a way that made her breath catch. “Do you really love flowers that much?” She nodded and he sighed. “Do you have a preference or will any flower do?”
“I love all flowers—no preference. I want to know what it’s like to feel cherished, as if you’re the only woman in the world who exists for that one person. I want to feel noticed.”
“And flowers do this for you?”
She fiddled with the magazine, then admitted, “I wouldn’t actually know. I’ve never received flowers for any reason but I like the idea of it, so until I know otherwise, I would like flowers delivered to me.”
“That’s good to know,” Jake murmured, leaning in to close the gap between them. She dropped the magazine from her fingers when she realized with a rapidly beating heart that Jake was going to kiss her. She wanted this more than anything but her confusion threatened to ruin all the fluttery good feelings in her stomach. Jake noted her reservation and pulled back with a subtle frown. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“What are you doing? This morning I threw myself at you and you pushed me away, which I might add, was a terrible blow to my really fragile ego, and now you’re coming at me like you want to kiss me and you have that look in your eyes like I’m something special and I’m just confused. Don’t get me wrong, I like that look on you but you’re running hot and cold and I don’t know how to handle that. I’m no good at these kinds of games, so if you’re playing me you have an unfair advantage. And I need to know what’s going on before we go any further.”
“What’s going on is that I feel something for you that I shouldn’t and I’m consumed with the need to touch and feel your lips and your skin. But I’ll stop if you don’t want me to go any further. I’m not playing any games. What you see is what you get with me. The fact of the matter is I want you, Kat, and it may be wrong but I don’t want to stop.”
Kat wanted to sing with joy. Basically Jake had just said everything she would’ve wanted him to say but something still felt off. “I don’t mean to be a stickler but what changed?”
“Does it matter?” Jake leaned in and placed a soft, sweet kiss along her jawline. “What matters is you and me. This moment. Right now.”
Yeah, that was easy to believe, but she couldn’t handle the thought that Jake was playing games with her. If it were true, it would cripple her and she wasn’t willing to take that chance, not even for Jake.
“I don’t believe you,” she admitted, hating that she just couldn’t go along with whatever the moment was. It was the scientist in her. Two plus two always equaled four and the logic was hard to ignore. This morning Jake had pushed her away under no uncertain terms and now he was practically trying to seduce her—which frankly wouldn’t be hard but something didn’t ring true. “Tell me the truth. What is going on? Just tell me. I can handle it.”
Jake sighed and pulled away. “Kat, you’re overthinking things just like I was overthinking things this morning. I live my life to a certain code and it’s bad business to cross professional lines with a target. I can’t be objective with you when we’re busy tearing each other’s clothes off. Doesn’t work that way. I don’t know why I feel the way I do with you. Trust me, I wish I didn’t. It’s really messing up my ability to think straight but I can’t deny that you bring out something in me that I’ve never felt and it’s like a drug. And maybe like a drug it’s really bad for me, I don’t know. All I do know is that I’ve been consumed with this need to be around you. Does that answer your question? Do you still think I’m trying to play games? Because I’m not. I’m not that guy. I don’t know what I feel for you but I know it’s real and it’s seriously powerful. I don’t know how much time we have together. All I know is that I want to spend this time with you right now.”
And just like that the magic of Jake’s words penetrated the wall of resistance and every barrier she felt around her dissolved. Kat sank into his arms and allowed him to drag her into his lap, and this time his kisses were not sweet or soft but hard and demanding and they sent ripples of need spiraling through her like crazy fireworks shooting up into the sky to burst into brilliant arrays of color and sound. Please don’t let this be a lie, she thought to herself as she succumbed to the wave of desire Jake created with his touch. Please let this be real. I couldn’t bear if this was all a lie.
* * *
He was a bastard. Plain and simple. There were no two ways about it. And he might even be going to hell, but in the end he was there to do a job and he never failed when it came to a mission. Still, he was walking the line between keeping himself separate from the desperate feelings of need and want that sprang to life the minute Kat softened in his arms and the cold hard logical part of his brain that encouraged him to do whatever necessary to gain her trust. This was more than physical and he knew it. That was the part that scared him. He craved her sweet gasps as he plundered her flesh and wanted to swallow every cry into his soul. The thundering of his heart in his ears as he clutched her to him was no act and it was fruitless to try and pretend otherwise.
“This sex stuff is addictive,” Kat said, breathing hard as she stared up at the ceiling with dreamy eyes. “If I’d known that it could be this great, I might’ve ditched the science stuff and gone into the sordid life of a call girl.”
He laughed, knowing she was joking but he did swell with a little male pride that he’d introduced her to sex with such success. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said, and she rolled into his arms, propping herself on his chest. He grinned at how adorable she looked mussed and thoroughly tousled after their lovemaking. “I pride myself in ensuring a job is done right.”
“Oh, yes, you certainly did that. You rocked it. You could medal in monkey business. But then you must know you’re pretty good.”
“Well, I like to think that I have a certain talent for some things,” he answered with a half-cocky smile. How could he not feel like crowing when his woman was singing his praises? He laughed and tugged her on top of him. She pushed off his chest and sat atop him, grinning, her small breasts perfect handfuls with their upturned nipples and soft, rounded cups. Her hair drifted around her shoulders in fine, baby-soft wisps and her green eyes danced with wonder and merriment. He took a mental snapshot so he could always remember her this way and tucked it away in a private lockbox.
He placed his hands on her small hips and rocked her gently against his groin, enjoying the way her cheeks flushed and her mouth opened slightly on a groan. “How could a woman like you escape the marriage trap?” he asked, half wondering whether th
e men in her circles were plainly blind if they couldn’t see Kat’s beauty and charm. “You’re breathtaking.”
Kat opened her half-mast eyes and the building pleasure seeped from her expression as if she were recalling a painful moment and he immediately regretted making the comment. Kat placed her hands on his and pushed them away from her hips so she could climb off him. He sat up and stared after her with concern. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“All my life I’ve been told how plain I am and I grew to accept it. Any time a guy made mention of my looks, it was only to mock them. My mouse-brown hair isn’t luxurious or thick, it doesn’t hold a curl and surely doesn’t snag a man’s attention when it’s up or down, and my eyes are a strange green that one guy actually told me were creepy. So when you tell me something like I’m breathtaking, I don’t know how to react to that because I don’t feel comfortable accepting a compliment for what it is. I don’t know how to trust a compliment from a man.”
“Whoever told you your eyes were creepy is an idiot. Your eyes are the most striking feature about you—aside from those near-perfect breasts, of course.” Kat blushed a beautiful shade of pink and he smiled. “You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Your breasts are...magnificent. A perfect mouthful—”
“Okay, I get the point,” Kat interrupted around an embarrassed smile that he found incredibly alluring. “You like boobs. Sorry to break it to you but most guys do.”
“No,” he corrected her. “I like your boobs. Big difference between just any woman’s boobs and yours.”
“Oh.” She flashed another embarrassed smile as she ducked her head. “You were saying?”
“Basically, it comes down to this. You may have been a homely child or a plain teenager but you sure as hell are anything but as a full-grown woman and that’s a fact. Anyone who tells you differently is either blind or just plain stupid and not worth your time, anyway.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Kat asked, her eyes wide and her expression vulnerable.
“Because you need to hear it,” he answered gruffly, hating that people in her past had damaged her self-worth. Jake knew how it felt to be stomped on in the self-worth department and if it were within his power, he’d erase the pain Kat had suffered as a result. But that was out of his control. All he could do was say what needed to be said in this moment because that’s all he had.
He could feel the doubt radiating from her expressive eyes and he wished he could reassure her that he would never lie to her, so that she could accept his words as truth, but he couldn’t bring himself to make that assurance. Instead, he gently pulled her to him and placed a kiss on her mouth that conveyed how he felt with the power of his lips and tongue and hoped that she could hear the message without words.
The fact was he didn’t trust himself.
And if she knew what he planned to do, she wouldn’t trust him, either.
Chapter 15
“Is everything okay?” his brother, Nathan, asked over the phone line. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t really know. Still trying to figure that out. There was the possibility that my cell phone had been compromised so I had to ditch it after our first location had been discovered. I needed a place to hole up until I received new orders. I wanted to give you a quick call to let you know I was using the cabin. I didn’t want you to think someone had broken into your place. Oh, and as an aside, I hate your compost toilet.”
“Yeah, emptying the liquid compartment is a bitch but it does the job and that’s all that matters.”
“I guess. Thanks for letting me stay here. I owe you one.”
“No problem. Are you gonna tell me the mission? What’s going on?”
“It’s classified.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You know I have clearance.”
“Different departments, different clearance.”
“Cut the crap, Jake. There’s a fine line between what my department did and what yours does.”
Jake bristled, taking immediate offense. Nathan’s branch, the U.S. Department of Informational Development, or ID for short, was run by a bunch of egomaniacs with personal agendas who were allowed to run amok for too long in covert, shady operations. The Department of Intelligence wasn’t anything like that, aside from the fact that the U.S. government paid both their bills. Add in the fact that ID was recently shut down as a result of the aforementioned offenses...yeah, Jake took particular offense that Nathan would even suggest that they were similar in nature, but whatever, he wasn’t calling to debate that subject. “You and Jaci good?” he asked, changing the subject.
“We’re fine. Thanks for asking but I know what you’re doing,” Nathan said, calling Jake on his deflection. “I know it’s been a long time since we were close but I can still tell when you’re not being honest. Do you need help?”
“Too bad I couldn’t tell when you were lying to my face,” Jake muttered, immediately wishing he could take it back. He still had some unresolved issues with his big brother and it was hard not to take offense to even the smallest thing between them. “I’ve got it under control. If I need you, I’ll call you.”
“No, you won’t. Stubborn little shit.” Nathan sighed. “I know we haven’t had that sit-down chat that we should have but don’t let your pride get in the way of asking for help. I’ve got resources that you can use. All you have to do is ask.”
“What resources could you have that I don’t?” Jake asked, irritated. “Besides, all I have to do is deliver Kat and my part of this mission is over. I’ve been reassigned to something else.”
“Who is this Kat?”
“Her name is Dr. Katherine Odgers and she works for Tessara Pharmaceuticals.”
“Well, that’s a name that rings a bell and one that brings trouble with it. What’s going on with Tessara Pharm now?”
“You’re going to keep asking until you get something out of me, aren’t you?” Jake asked. “I told you it was classified.”
“Fine. You know I can find out if I want to. I’ve got connections, too. I just want to make sure you’re all right, Jakey.”
The scar Jake thought had long since ceased to hurt suddenly burned like fire. “I told you not to call me that. Listen, I have to go. Thanks again for the use of the cabin. I’ll put a couple of bucks in the mail for your trouble.”
Nathan exhaled as if Jake were being difficult. “Don’t worry about it. I just wish you would trust me enough to tell me what’s going on. I have a feeling—a bad feeling—that something is about to go down.”
Jake smirked. “Don’t quit your day job. Last time I checked you weren’t psychic, so stop wringing your hands and relax. This job is almost over and I’ll be glad when it’s done.”
“Do me a favor and call me when you’re done. I want to make sure that this goes down by the numbers.”
“You don’t have to play the part of the big brother any longer. I can take care of myself. This was simply a courtesy call, not a plea for help.”
“Jake, I screwed up in the big brother department. I should’ve been there for you but I wasn’t. If you’ll let me, I’ll do my best to be there for you from now on. I thought maybe things might’ve changed between us after I almost died during that last operation but I’m getting the message loud and clear that nothing’s changed.”
Jake ground the sting from his eyes. What the hell was wrong with him? One phone call from his brother and he was ready to bawl like a baby. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll call you later.” But as Jake hung up he wondered why he didn’t just tell Nathan that he probably wouldn’t call and he had a hard time with this whole “let’s let bygones be bygones” crap because he couldn’t quite forgive his brother for leaving him behind. Maybe that made him a jerk, maybe he was being petty, but Nathan could’ve spared Jake the misery of being left behind with their father. How was he su
pposed to forgive Nathan for willfully walking away, knowing what was going to happen to him when he left? Jake didn’t know the answer and maybe that’s why he resisted all overtures from Nathan to try to make amends.
Shake it off, Jake told himself. He had bigger problems.
“Who were you talking to?” Kat asked as she dried her hair. “Was that your brother?”
He nodded. “I just wanted to give him a heads-up that we were here and not burglars.”
“That was nice of you. What’s your brother like?”
“I wouldn’t know. We’re not close.”
“Well, you’re close enough to crash at his cabin at a moment’s notice,” Kat pointed out. “I think I’d like to meet him. I bet he’s a very interesting individual.”
Fat chance of that. Jake couldn’t see Kat having reason to meet Nathan at all but to admit that would bring up questions he couldn’t answer. “Maybe sometime,” he lied, quickly changing the subject. “I have good news. I managed to make contact with my superior and he’s arranged an extraction. All we have to do is meet him at a designated point and transport will be waiting.”
“What kind of transport?”
“A government vehicle.”
“Not a plane?”
He smiled and lied through his teeth. “No, it’s a car.”
Kat’s relieved smile sliced through his gut. “Oh, thank goodness. Great! That means no more eating MREs, right? I don’t think I can choke down another at this point. What time do we leave?”
“We have to meet them at 6 a.m. tomorrow.”
“That will give us just enough time to get to know each other a little better.”
“Girl, I don’t know how much better we can get to know each other. We know each other pretty intimately by this point.”
Moving Target Page 11
