by Rachel Burns
However, Daddy and Nanny loved to care for me. They even fought over what was best for me.
They thought I was worth all of this.
I stood up and stepped into my dress.
Nanny fussed with my underskirts until they were straight, and the dress was laying perfectly over it. My dress was a powdered light pink with a light blue sash around my waist that went down the front of the dress. There was a silk flower attached to the waist where the sash came together. I looked like a princess, and I felt like one.
“No twirling,” Nanny warned me.
That was asking a lot. My face must have clearly shown what I was thinking about because Nanny gave me a warning look.
“I'll be good,” I promised, a little disappointed.
Daddy walked in his tux. He looked so amazing that my jaw dropped when I saw him. The last time he wore his tux, it had been for our wedding. “Amelia is always good, Nanny. You don't have to worry.” He straightened his cuff links, as he walked over to me.
There was something very cool about the way Daddy moved.
Daddy was so at ease with himself and his body. He didn't worry about tripping and falling. He knew that he could do this without making a mistake. I wished I had his confidence.
Daddy kissed me and smiled at me. “She's right. This outfit deserves a crown. You look like a little princess, sweetheart.”
I blushed and beamed at him. He looked like a king, and I looked like someone who should be by his side.
This was our first public appearance as a married couple. The press was going to be there, and our picture would be in the tabloids tomorrow morning.
Nanny had been buzzing in my ear all week about how she wanted me to behave. She was worried again.
I didn't want to do anything to embarrass Daddy. He had been so good to me while I was sick.
“This isn't a crown, but it is something nice to wear that sparkles.” Daddy presented me with a dark blue velvet box.
I opened it and saw jewelry inside. These weren't the things that he had bought me for our date evening. They were new and covered with diamonds. Daddy took the necklace and fastened it behind my neck, careful not to pull my hair, which Nanny had piled up on my head in huge beehive-like bun.
“The earrings are clip-ons. They may pinch a little, but you will get used to them. Your daddy doesn't want you to have pierced ears yet. These will do the trick for a special evening.” Nanny went to work fastening them to my ears while Daddy put a bracelet around my wrist.
“Ouch. They are heavy.” At first it felt like torture. My earlobes were burning.
“They take a moment to get used to,” she assured me. “Be good for your daddy and don't play with them. They are very expensive, and you don't want to lose them,” she scolded.
I nodded my head, agreeing with her, and they hit me.
“That's another thing, no sudden quick movements. Nanny wants you to be very graceful. This a chance for you to make your daddy look good.”
“Yes, Nanny. I will,” I promised her.
I looked over my shoulder at Daddy. He was smiling at me. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I took hold of his hand, and we left.
A new worry popped into my head as we drove into the city. What should I call him tonight? I knew that he didn't want me to use his real name, but calling him Daddy would embarrass him too.
I looked over at Daddy. He was reading some sort of medical report about one of his patients. He was a very busy man, just like he told me the first day we met. I was glad that he found time for me.
I would make this work out. He would be proud of me. I hope that my positive thoughts would make me behave positively.
Our limousine was in a long line of them, waiting for a chance to stop at the red carpet. There were lots of people standing on the sidewalk, watching who was getting out of the limousines. I was getting very nervous.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, Sweetheart?” He was putting his file away.
“Will you stay by my side the whole time and not leave me alone?”
“Of course I will. We're a team. I have done this dozens of times before. It isn't scary once you get inside. Trust me.”
“I do.” I gave him a meaningful look. Daddy had been so good to me ever since our honeymoon, and things had only gotten better from there. The first couple of months, it had been just us getting to know each other. We did now.
Daddy understood me, and I felt I understood him, with his wants and needs, too. We were a good match for each other. I was young and needy, and he needed someone to need him.
“I love you so much, Amelia.” Daddy petted my face with his fingertips, gliding them along my cheekbone.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed his soft caress.
I jumped a little when his warm lips touched mine. My eyes opened, and I saw him grinning at me. We were so happily married.
The limousine stopped, and we got out. A woman with a microphone stepped right up to Daddy who had his arm around me. “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. … It's great to see you out for this important cause.”
“As a pediatrician, I have hands on experience with children who suffer from cancer. This is a great cause. My wife and I have our checkbook along, and we plan on using it. I hope others follow our lead, so we can beat this disease. More research is necessary to find a cure.”
I beamed at Daddy. He was so smart and good-hearted. I was proud to be his wife.
“Mr. … you speak out for children in need very loudly, but when can we expect you to have a child of your own?” She smirked at him as she held the microphone out to him.
Daddy's grasp on me tightened. “No personal questions. Amelia, let's get you inside.” He just walked away from the woman then. I had never seen him act that badly before.
He brought me inside, and then he stood me in a corner and pulled out his cellphone. His back was turned to me. I heard him speak with his lawyer. He didn't want what happened to appear in the media.
When he hung up, he turned to me and smiled. “We don't need a baby. Daddy has you. Let's go have some fun, Sweetheart.” He laid his arm around me, and then we went through a pair of open doors.
We walked into a room that was decorated cream-colored roses. The room had a risen stage and hundreds of round tables with cream-colored tablecloths.
The benefit had already started when we arrived. Daddy brought me to our table. A few of his acquaintances were there. They stood, smiled and nodded at me. The men had classy looking wives or dates with them. I didn't feel comfortable with these people. I didn't fit in here.
Daddy had his hand on the small of my back as he introduced me to the others. The women all had titles, professor and doctor titles.
Only I was a nobody. The only title before my name was Mrs.
I saw several men with guns tucked inside their jackets, swarming all around the room.
“Why do those men need guns?”
“To protect us. There are several very important people here this evening. Look at the stage. There is a show for you to watch.” Daddy had been talking to another man. He didn't want me to disturb him.
I looked at the stage in front of us. The show was a variety act. I felt like I was in the circus. It was wonderful, and we were sitting in the front row, right in the center.
An act with little dogs came on. The clown would try to get the dogs to do something, but they never did. He turned to the crowd to apologize, and the dogs would jump through hoops and walk on their hind legs as soon as his back was turned. I clasped my hands together and beamed at the tiny dogs. I had never seen anything so precious in all of my life.
I peeked over at Daddy to see if he saw the cute little dogs. He wasn't looking at the stage. He was grinning at me.
“Did you like that, sweetheart? Then I will donate some money. That’s how this works. The act that gets the most money gets to decide where the money from all the acts goes. I'll be right back.” I watched Daddy walk ov
er to a stand and pull out his checkbook.
The lady taking the money beamed at him and tried to flirt with him.
I had to wonder if Daddy even noticed things like that. If he did, he was good at pretending not to see it.
He returned to our table and gave me a kiss on my cheek. “If he wins it goes to the children's hospital here in New York. It was a good choice.”
“I hope he wins,” I told Daddy.
Daddy beamed at me. “This evening should be fun. I want you to have a good time. If you see something that you like, tell me. Unfortunately, I have to talk to the others. You have to let me know if I ignore you too long. I don't want you to get bored and then get into trouble.”
“You don't have to worry. I'll be good.”
He pressed his forehead against mine. “I know. You are as good as gold.”
He took hold of my hand and turned back to his friend. They were discussing something important. But it was something that didn't interest me. I watched the show and enjoyed it. I leaned into Daddy's chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. He spoke of interests in other countries. South America was mentioned a lot.
“We could take a vacation there. Would you like that, sweetheart?”
“Whatever you want, Daddy,” I whispered in his ear.
“I want you to tell me what you really want.” He sighed, showing me that he wasn't mad, but disappointed.
“I just want to be with you. I don't know the best vacation spots in the world. I trust you to decide.”
He shrugged pleased with that answer. He hugged me tightly and then let go of me. The food was arriving and different people spoke, thanking us for coming while we ate.
Daddy made sure that no one gave me wine to drink after the first mandatory glass was poured. He drank the first glass that had been set in front of me when everyone got one. He did it in a way that no one noticed.
First, he drank his wine and then he set his glass down but close to my plate the next time he wanted to drink something he took my glass and then set it down where his should be. I took his empty glass and put it where mine had been.
He gave me a slight nod of approval.
All I wanted was to make Daddy happy. He was my everything.
I was surprised when the host of the show called Daddy up to the stage. Daddy got up and went to the podium like he had done it hundreds of times. He spoke about research and finding a cure. Everyone was impressed with him.
He was a man who had his life together. He was well born, well educated and competent. People listened when he talked.
When he was finished talking, everyone clapped for him, especially me. I was so proud to be this amazing man's wife.
I had to think about the slight chance of our meeting. If I had taken an earlier train, or a later one, we never would have met. That would have been a tragedy.
Would I have wondered through life, thinking that something was missing if we hadn't met?
Most likely. I was thankful to have him at my side.
He returned to our table and kissed me on my cheek. “Did I do well?” he asked in a whisper that only I could hear.
“You were perfect, Daddy,” I whispered back.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I watched his chest puff out. My approval meant the world to him.
As the night moved on, I moved closer to Daddy. I rested my head on his shoulder while he spoke with someone about a patient that he had who had since passed away. He spoke of the loss as a tragedy, how the family was devastated.
I couldn't understand why God hadn't left that child with his loving parents.
My father wouldn't have missed me. In fact, he would have liked nothing better than seeing me gone. With him it had been the sooner the better.
Would my mother have welcomed me to heaven, or was she mad at me too?
I had been thinking about her a lot lately. I wished I had a picture of her.
Maybe Daddy could find one for me. I wanted to be able to picture her smiling at me. It would be a fun game to imagine her liking me.
It had been a favorite game of mine as a child. I would be outside in the gardens, and I would pretend that a woman was standing just around the bush. I would walk around and see her. She would tell me that she loved me, and that she wasn't really dead.
She told me it was all a lie to get away from my father. But she knew of a safe place that we could go to, but I had to go with her immediately.
I pretended that we were escaping together, as I ran around the garden. Those were the happiest days in my childhood.
I had finally gotten away.
I was safe now.
I smiled at my Daddy. My life was now worth living. I had a purpose here on Earth.
I was Daddy's wife. He needed me. So did Nanny.
I had seen that while I was sick. They had both been so worried.
We watched several more speeches. Some were about where the money donated this evening would go to while others were about personal stories. Those were so sad that I had to cry.
Daddy held me tighter during those speeches.
The host for the benefit often told us how much money had come together. My jaw dropped when I heard that it was over a million.
I turned to look at Daddy as I clapped.
He nodded at me. Daddy was a philanthropist; he donated money to all kinds of good causes. He felt it was the least that he could do. He explained that it was our responsibility to see to it that others had what they needed. No one should have to go without proper medical care.
I agreed with him. He was a good man, and I got to be his wife.
The host appeared on the stage again. The benefit was coming to a close. I had been resting my head on Daddy's chest. He now had light make-up smears on his black tux and white shirt.
“Sorry about your shirt, Daddy,” I apologized as I sat up.
“We'll let the dry cleaner worry about that.”
The host said that she just wanted to say a few more words before the evening came to a close. She thanked us for coming once again and told us the end amount that they had managed to pull together. Then she called all the acts on stage.
It was the big moment to hear who had won, and where the money would go. First came the amount, it was over two hundred thousand, and then she announced who won.
I cheered loudly as she named the clown with the little dogs. He stepped forward to take an oversized check. He told the dogs where to sit, so they were evenly divided on the left and right of the check while the press took pictures.
“I told you he was the best,” I said to Daddy.
“I know, that's why I donated the most.”
That made me laugh. “So you stacked the deck in my favor?”
“I would do anything to make you smile.” Daddy leaned over to me and kissed me.
The next morning, that was the picture on the front page of the paper. Daddy showed me because it was a nice picture of us.
The caption said who Daddy was and who I was. They made it sound like I was my proud father's daughter. Anyone who read it would think that money had just married money and had luckily fallen in love with each other.
The paper wasn't able to depict us as we really were; Poor, brought nothing into married, Amelia Anderson and amazingly rich, gorgeous, do-gooder Brian … kissing because they had found that each had something the other desperately needs.
Daddy needed to be needed, and I needed someone to love me. The picture did show that we were well matched.
“Are you going to keep it?” I asked him.
“Sure, I'll cut it out and lay it in the back of our wedding album.”
“We have a wedding album? Can I see it?”
Daddy said nothing. He was having one of those moments when he realized that our marriage wasn't normal.
In a normal marriage, the wife made the album, and she was free to look at it whenever she wanted.
I wasn't.
; “Of course. We'll go into my office.” He was pretending that this was all normal.
I felt tears coming to my eyes. I wished that things weren't so forced. I would never leave my Daddy. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
It would take a lot for me to give up something special like we had.
I sat on Daddy's lap as we paged through the album. There were so many people that I didn't recognize. They were all his friends and family.
I wished that I had more people in my life. People that I was as close to as I was to Daddy and Nanny.
If I had been pregnant, then I would have a child. I would have had a chance to prove that I was capable of giving and receiving love, not just with Daddy but also with someone who wasn't controlling me.
The more I thought about it the more I worried that I might just prove the opposite. I probably didn't have what a woman needed to be a good mother.
I didn't want to have a child that would end up hating me. I couldn't take having another person in the world who just couldn't stand me.
I was glad that I wasn't pregnant. I would have just disappointed the child.
Chapter 4 – Easter
Brian walked into a grocery store, pushing his cart in front of him. He stopped off in a town where he practically never went because he didn't want anyone to see him. He had to make several purchases for his Amelia.
Everywhere he looked were Easter decorations. It was too much and overpowering. He was once again pleased that they hardly decorated at the mansion. His family had always been very tasteful in how they celebrated holidays and birthdays.
That would change now. Amelia had to make up for years of not getting anything. She had rarely gone home for Easter. She assured him that the nuns had given her something special every year. He found that hard to believe after the way she had cried when he had given her her first a wrapped up present.
Brian still found it hard to believe that her father never got reported to the police. A disgruntled employee at the house could have easily informed someone, or the women at her school.
