by Rachel Burns
“I don’t want to tell.” I looked at him.
“Why not?” He acted surprised.
“They did it to help me. I don’t want to get them into any trouble.”
“The problem is that Brian here has a baby but no birth certificate. No proof the child exists. Anything could happen to a child like that.”
“Are you threatening me or her?” My eyes must have been on fire because he leaned back away from me a little.
“I’m just saying that if she had a birth certificate saying she belonged to you and your daddy that would be safer for her.”
“Safer? How?” I asked him.
“Amelia, just answer the question. I promise they won’t get into any trouble.” Daddy was getting tired from this. He probably wanted them gone so he could beat on me.
“They gave me the insurance card from their daughter.”
“How does something like that work?” Heather’s daddy looked confused.
“A week later she reported it stolen.” I hung my head in shame again.
“That was very generous of them. They could go to jail for that.”
“I’m sorry. Please, I don’t want them to get into trouble.” I looked at him again. “They were so nice to me.”
He pressed his thumb and pointer finger to the bridge of his nose for a moment. “I’ll think about it.” He wiped his hand over his face. “Let’s get back to you. Why did you run away?”
“Because I was pregnant.”
He looked back at his machine again and then at Brian and then back at me. “Why did being pregnant make you want to run away?”
“I don’t know?” I hung my head again.
“Oh please, Amelia.” Brian stopped suddenly. I figured one of the men told him to. I was making him so mad.
“You can do better than that. Why?” Heather’s daddy was speaking softly, even kindly, to me.
I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. Even I could hear that the machine thought I was lying.
“Did you plan to run away, or was it a spur of the moment thing?” He leaned into me.
“Both.”
“Amelia, I need better answers.”
“Why?”
Brian sighed loudly.
“Because your husband reported you missing, and then he reports you found with a baby. We need this all cleared up. Tell me the truth.”
“I was really pretty sure that I was pregnant. I was already starting to show a little. I knew I had to leave, and soon. When the van with the broken carousel horse was going to leave, I jumped in. It wasn’t planned, but I had been thinking that I had to leave before I couldn’t hide the pregnancy anymore.”
“Why didn’t you just go to your daddy and tell him?”
I looked at Brian for a second, and then I quickly looked away. I shook my head.
“Did you feel you couldn’t go to your daddy with your problem?”
I nodded.
Brian made a funny noise. I think my answer surprised him.
“Amelia, why didn’t you go to your daddy?”
I cried into my hands.
“Amelia, answer the question.” He was getting loud now.
“Because I was afraid that he would make me have an abortion.” I continued to sob into my hands. I wanted this over with.
Brian knelt down in front of me and gently pushed my hair to the side. “Why would you think something like that?” he asked me.
“But you said I couldn’t have children.” Was he taking that back because of the men in the room? Was he worried about his image?
“But I didn’t mean – This was all just a misunderstanding. I meant that the chances of me being able to father a child were extremely low. I didn’t mean – I’m so sorry. I should have been clearer. This was my fault.” He let me go and turned away from the others.
“Has the child been tested?”
“Yes, she’s mine.” He answered without turning back to us.
I hung my head again. He wasn’t sure? He had to do a test? Who did he think I could have been with? There was no other man in my life at all. It was just him.
“Ask her the last question,” Daddy said.
“Amelia. Do you want a divorce?”
“I want to stay with Daddy, but I don’t want him to hurt the baby or me. Especially not the baby.” I had answered truthfully. I was looking at Daddy’s back. He was still turned away from me.
“Brian, do you have anything you want to ask her?”
He shook his head. “Wait stop.” He turned back to me. “Do you love me?”
“Yes.” I looked right into his eyes, so he would know that I meant it with all of my heart.
The other man looked back at the machine and nodded at Daddy.
Heather’s Daddy looked very pleased. “Well, I’m glad that we were able to clear everything up here.” He was smiling as he removed all the pads and the things pinching my fingers. “Brian.” He looked at the wires coming out of my blouse.
Brian stepped forward and removed them. The man shook Daddy’s hand and thanked me for my help. The other man nodded at us as he left.
We were all alone now. I looked at Daddy or Brian or whoever.
“I never meant that you weren’t allowed – I assumed I couldn’t. I was sick as a child. The doctor said I probably couldn’t. I assumed. Oh my little Amelia, please don’t try to kill yourself anymore. Please stay with me. I will fix everything. We will pretend that nothing happened?” He looked at me so hopefully.
“What do you mean?” Did he mean get rid of the baby? My heart was racing.
“I mean that things will be just like beforehand. We were so close. We could be close again.” His eyes were very wide open, and he was excited.
“What about Sarah?”
“Sarah is so beautiful. She looks just like you. You can help me order more presents for her for Christmas. And you can help pick out the design for the nursery. I already had an interior decorator here. It was the same one who designed your room. She will be dropping off the designs this evening.” He was all excited and ahead of himself.
“Yes, but do I get to see her?”
“Amelia, your main job is to be my wife. You may see her for an hour a day, but you have to be very good.”
“Just an hour? But I need to see her all the time.”
“Yes, and you need to sleep and study and recover from her birth and most importantly you need to be here for me when I am at home.” He laid his hands on my shoulders and gave me a look that made it quite clear that there would be no better offer.
I nodded at him and swallowed. I think it was my pride that went down in that second. “Could I see her now?”
“We still have a matter to discuss.”
I sighed, disappointed.
“Yes, you were the one to tell Cindy’s parents who her daddy was. Because of you, they had to leave the country to stay together. That was a terrible thing to do.”
“But Daddy they were so sad. They just wanted to know if she was happy and safe.”
“Of course she is, she is with her daddy. You should have told them that.”
“Please don’t hurt me anymore. Please, I’ll be perfectly good. Please,” I sobbed.
“Yesterday, you didn’t seem to mind.” He was being so cold again.
“That was different. I wanted to die then, so I could be with Sarah. Please Daddy, I can’t take anymore.”
“Well, you’ll have to. Because of you, they can never come home again.” He dragged me up to his bedroom by my forearm. He locked us in and pulled me over to his bed.
I was still crying and begging him to stop.
He laid me over his knees. I was already a sobbing mess. He lifted up my dress and pulled down my tights and underwear.
He spanked me with all of his might, scolding me about minding my own business, and that a martial relationship is something very sacred, and that no one should try to separate a couple in love.
His hand flew down again and aga
in. I lay limp over his lap, sobbing and praying. I prayed that God would help him to stop.
Even God must think that I was very fickle. What I wanted today may be totally different from what I wanted tomorrow.
I lay lifeless over his lap. My right arm hung over the side of the bed. He was still spanking, and I kept thinking that Cindy hadn’t gotten away either. Now he had her in another country. I had ruined every chance she had at escaping to save myself, and that didn’t even work out.
It had all been for nothing. I hadn’t saved my baby. I only moved her one step forward. She had been able to be born. I wasn’t one hundred percent certain that he wouldn’t have forced me to have an abortion.
What he said in front of others wasn’t always a true reflection to what was going on in his soul.
After my spanking, he laid me in my bed. He completely removed my tights and underwear. I fell asleep totally exhausted.
Too much had happened in too short a time. My mind needed more time to catch up.
I hoped that the punishments were over.
Chapter 7 – Be Careful What You Say
Brian went to the nursery and lifted his daughter out of her crib, ignoring Nanny Dobson, who was sitting next to the crib reading a book.
Brian held Sarah to his heart and walked up and down with her in his arms. How could he love someone so much after only just meeting her?
Oddly enough he had fallen in love with his wife at first sight too. They were both very beautiful women.
Amelia could have been spared so much if he had swallowed his pride and admitted that he had a low sperm count.
It had just seemed like a topic that she was too young for. She had always been so innocent.
He couldn’t imagine looking into her beautiful blue eyes and admitting that he had flaws.
He wanted to be her Daddy, a man who was capable of anything, a man, whose job it was to take care of her and give her a worry-free life. That hadn’t worked.
Brian’s guilt about her thinking that he wouldn’t be there for her compounded with his hurt feelings that she could think that he would kill a baby.
She had left him because she felt a need to protect their child from him, even if that meant that she had to live at a playground.
She felt that what he was doing to her was wrong, so wrong, that she had to protect Sarah from him for fear that he would do to her what he did to Amelia.
‘I don’t think we can recover from this’, somehow the words he had spoken to her were truer now than when he had said them to her three days ago.
Brian wanted his marriage to work. He would try to change for her. That would make him guilty of the same crime that she had committed. He would just be pretending.
Could he pretend with her? Amelia was just as much his little girl as Sarah was.
Brian smiled to himself. He looked down at his daughter sleeping in his arms. “I guess the name Sarah is going to stick. Sarah is a good sound name. I hope you like it.”
The baby showed no reaction to his words. It blew him away how much love he could feel for this tiny person. A person who he may have never met if chance wouldn’t have told him where to find her.
He decided to give his secretary a paid vacation somewhere really nice. One with everything her heart could desire.
Of course, he wouldn’t tell her the real reason why he was giving it to her, but he felt a need to show her his appreciation.
Brian hummed softly to his daughter. As he did, he closed his eyes and imagined Amelia singing to her.
Would Sarah have a nice voice like her mother? He pictured Sarah a little older and the two of them singing together. They could be so happy together.
The sad thing was that when he pictured them they were wearing pretty dresses. Once again, he thought that he should have a mature sit down talk with his wife.
He knew that he never would. He feared what she would say too much. That they had needed a lie detector to talk honestly said a lot about them, both him and her. Amelia needed a machine to speak to him at all, with direct questions asked. And he needed her to be hooked up to one to believe a word she said.
The funny thing was that he had believed her right off the bat when she said that she hated him and wanted a divorce.
Brian laid Sarah in her bed. He looked over the designs. This room would be transformed into a room fit for a princess. Sarah had royal blood flowing in her veins. His forefathers had been very careful who was married to whom, just the best had been considered.
He hadn’t done it differently. Amelia was from a good home, which had money and power. She would have been considered a good match especially with her grades. The sheltered life would have made his parents refuse her, but that was exactly what had made her interesting to him.
Had she been happy with him, at least, a little? Enough to want to make their marriage work?
Brian showed Sarah’s nanny the designs and tried to talk to her. She wasn’t the type to give an opinion. At first, that annoyed him, but then he decided that it was better for everyone if certain boundaries weren’t crossed. He made his decisions and called the designer.
Brian got a feeling that Nanny Dobson wanted him to leave. That was too bad. She should get used to him being around. He had already missed so much of Sarah’s life.
Sarah needed a parent who was there for her. He still wasn’t sure if Amelia was right in the head. She may be a bit paranoid.
He would let her see Sarah, but he would always be present. An hour a day was more than enough. He would watch her, and maybe with time, he could relax and built up the time they spent together to two hours a day.
He didn’t see this as punishing Amelia. This was him, being a good father, and taking every precaution.
A tiny cry made him turn and look at his daughter. His heart melted as she cried and stretched. He scooped her into his arms and placed her heart over his. “Did you sleep well, darling?”
When she continued to cry, he smiled and told her that he loved her so much. He laid her down on her changing table and went to work changing her diaper.
Nanny Dobson stood off to the side wide-eyed. She hadn’t thought that he would do that himself, but he was even quick about it. A moment later, Sarah was expertly changed, cleaned up and redressed. This time when he held her over his heart she settled down and stopped crying.
“Is her bottle ready?” he asked, thinking that the nanny should have had it ready and waiting for him.
“One moment, sir.” Nanny Dobson hurried to get what the baby needed.
Brian threw a towel over his shoulder, and then he took the bottle. He sat down in the rocking chair and held Sarah, so she was looking in his eyes. “She has her mother’s blue eyes,” he informed the nanny.
“She is an especially beautiful baby, sir.”
Brian tested the milk on the inside of his arm before he gave it to his Sarah. Their eyes were locked on each other’s as she drank. Brian wanted her to know that he would take care of her. This was a time to built trust. He had to make up for lost time. She was almost two months old.
Brian had a feeling that his daughter was a product of their Valentine’s Retreat. It suited her. She was a child made out of love on the most special of days for lovers.
The sad thing was that it was clear that Amelia was too young to be a mother. She was too young to even have a period, and deal with the outcomes that came with missing a period.
He was relieved that she was so innocent. If another man had touched what was his, then he couldn’t have forgiven her. He knew that it shouldn’t matter, but it disgusted him so much. Some man with dirty hands touching her soft body, or a man lying on top of her and entering her was too much for his mind to bear.
Amelia was just for him. Brian didn’t feel that he was acting like a caveman. He also believed that he was just for her. Amelia owned his heart, body and soul. He hadn’t even glanced at another woman.
Why would he when he had the perfect one at home? Once sh
e had normal clothes on, she looked so right again.
Hadn’t she been the one to get so excited at the teddy bear store when she saw the dresses? He wasn’t forcing anything on her. He was just giving her what she needed.
The best thing that he could do would be to pretend that she had never left. Would his heart go along with something like that?
The wounds there weren’t healed yet. He wasn’t sure that they would. If need be, he too would pretend.
“When is Mrs. … going to come and see the baby?” Nanny Dobson asked.
“She isn’t feeling well. We’ll visit Sarah together. If my wife turns up here alone, I want to be informed immediately. She is suffering from the baby blues. I don’t want them to be alone together. My wife may not leave with the baby either. I’m positive that she wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, but this is a precaution that we should take. We don’t want anything to happen to Sarah, now do we?”
“No, nothing.” Nanny Dobson had also fallen in love with baby Sarah at first sight. She had wondered why a family this rich had called for a professional nanny so late. The doctor was clearly capable of taking care of his own child, but he needed to go to work.
Apparently, they had tried to care for the child, but the mother just hadn’t taken to her baby. That happened, more often than a person thought.
Nanny Dobson already hated Mrs. … with her whole heart. Who could not love this adorable child?
Nanny Dobson wanted to be a part of Sarah’s life forever. It was a shame that there was no way to keep her from growing up and staying with her all of her life. She would see to it that she held this position as long as she could.
She hated leaving a family after the child was old enough to go to preschool. Nanny Dobson wanted to see her child grow into a beautiful woman. She didn’t want this child to forget her.
Nanny Dobson was relieved when his cell rang, and he had to leave. It was hard for him to give her the baby. She liked that. He was a good father.
She held baby Sarah close to her heart and kissed the top of her head.
Brian was in his car driving away from his warm home on this cold snowy day. Jake had called him. He had Cindy’s whole family at the police station in their district.
