by Rachel Burns
She felt that the woman upset the child. Sarah always cried when Mrs. … left. Nanny Dobson interpreted that the way she wanted to.
Brian put his tiny angel to bed and went to his own room. He undressed and put on a warm pajama.
It was snowing outside. Amelia liked to watch it snow. He had stood behind her and watched with her several times. That had all been before Amelia had just disappeared.
Before she had left, he had slept naked and cuddle up next to her body. Now they were in separate bedrooms. Brian turned out the light and got into his bed. As he lay completely still, he could hear the light sobs and sniffles coming from next door.
He wished that she were crying because they weren’t together, but he knew better. She was crying for her daughter.
Her crying was the proof that he needed. She wasn’t happy with him. This was all a hoax.
***
Things changed after Christmas. I got to go to the nursery every day for an hour. Daddy always came along. I got to hold her and Daddy encouraged me to sing for her. The visits were always short, but I was so happy to get to see her at all.
I waited in my room on pins and needles until Daddy came in and smiled that it was time to visit Sarah. I smiled back at him and ran to his hand, and then we went to the nursery together.
Sometimes she was sleeping when we came in, then I just stared at her and sang her a lullaby. Daddy looked so happy too. I was truly happy again. Sarah meant the world to me.
After the Christmas holidays were over, Daddy insisted that I go back to school. I was worried that the teachers would all hate me. After all, I had runaway from school, and not home. Would they want to punish me too?
Nanny and Daddy were acting like it was my very first day of school again. They both fussed over me. I stood there quietly and let them. I was a lot quieter than before I ran away. I really only spoke when spoken too. My fear of saying or doing something wrong was at a maximum. Daddy also knew that if he wanted to punish me, the best way was to forbid me to see Sarah.
They both drove with me in the limousine. Nanny had her nanny meeting, and Daddy had planned it so he would be finished in time to pick us up.
I didn’t take school as seriously as I did before. It was all a matter of perspective. Nothing was more important than Sarah.
All heads turned as Nanny and I got out of the limo. Nanny placed a hand on my back and pushed me inside. She brought me right to my classroom. I went and stood by the teacher’s desk. I hadn’t been assigned a desk this school year, and I didn’t have any books.
All the girls were sitting at their desks, just staring at me and whispering. A year ago I would have blushed red and felt like crying. Now, I just felt disinterest.
The teacher came in, and she waited for everyone to settle down. The whispering and surprised looks that I could see and hear could also be heard in the others classrooms too.
“Attention, girls, attention.” The teacher raised her arms up in the air like she was talking to an entire stadium. “Amelia, you were gone for quite a bit. We have all heard the story about what happened now I think we would all like to hear the story about how unsuccessful your runaway attempt was.” She looked at me expectantly.
“Perhaps I could answer questions?” I tried not to look smart-ass-like at her.
“Yes, perhaps that would be a good idea.” She looked really pissed.
I looked at the class and raised an eyebrow.
A couple of the girls that I hadn’t liked before raised their hands and smiled at me. I played teacher and called on them.
“Where did you go when you ran away?”
“I went to New York.” I called on the next girl.
“Did you get punished when you got caught?” Maggie was smiling from ear to ear.
“Sure did.” I called on the next one. I wasn’t about to tell them the whole story.
“What did you do when you were in New York?”
“Mostly, I looked for a safe place to spend the night, and I looked for food.”
After that answer, most of the hands went up. I explained that I had eaten as little as possible so the little bit of money that I had would stretch as far as it possibly could, and that I had slept at playgrounds.
I was glad that no one asked where I had gotten the money. I hoped that no one would ever know about that day.
They were also very interested in how I had gotten caught. I still didn’t know how I had been found, so I couldn’t help them out there.
Once the questions got less and less serious, the teacher sent me to the other classrooms. I was getting bored with this.
When that was over with, the headmistress wanted to see me. I had never been in her office before. It was done up in brown. Funny I had envisioned pink and greens. She had lots of books and a really huge desk, which she sat behind.
She got up and motioned to one of the brown leather sofas. I sat down and crossed my legs at the ankles and gently set my bag down on the floor. I wondered what she wanted. I figured some form of corporal punishment would be involved.
“How have you been doing, Amelia?” If she was faking her concern, then she was a good actress.
“I’m fine.” I was getting good at giving people a minimum of an answer to their questions.
“I find that hard to believe.” She tilted her head.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“How is your daughter?”
That question took me aback a little. I had been very careful not to mention her today. The other girls had no idea about her. I shifted uncomfortable. “She’s fine.”
“I heard about the lie detector test. You and your Daddy are reconciled now?” she asked carefully.
I nodded.
“I understand that everything had been a misunderstanding?”
I nodded again.
“Amelia, this talk would be easier for both of us if you actually talked to me.”
“I can’t afford to say something wrong. I have so much to lose.” My hand went to my locket.
“Do you have a picture of your daughter in there?” She was smiling as she asked that.
“Please, don’t take it away from me.” My grasp tightened around it. “If you would rather, I could leave it at home from now on.”
“No, I don’t want to take it from you. I called you in here today to say thank you that you didn’t tell anyone about the school. It was unexpected. I wondered if you would tell me why?”
I had to think about that one. I had been annoyingly tight lipped about everything. If I hadn’t been, I could have maybe been able to be alone with Sarah all the time. I missed her so much.
My tight lips had been a mistake, most likely. I should have told the whole truth, but then I thought about Heather’s Daddy. He seemed to give tests like that for a living. He had probably hunted me down. I wouldn’t have gotten away with telling, but that wasn’t the reason I didn’t tell.
“I liked school. What I did, I did for my daughter. There was no need for me to tell anyone private things about me, my daddy or the school.” I stopped talking again and looked at her.
“Amelia, it is time for lunch. I would like you to dine with me today.”
I nodded, showing that I accepted her offer.
“If you ever have anything that you would like to talk about, I want you to know you can come to me, even if it is a misunderstanding with your Daddy. I am really sorry that you didn’t come to me beforehand. I could have saved you a lot of pain. I would have kept you here with me safe. If you had told me that you were pregnant and what you feared, I would have helped clear things up.”
I nodded again. I had started crying as I thought about how unnecessary everything had been. She let me have a moment to collect myself before we went down to lunch.
We went into lunch. My eyes were still red. I probably looked like I had been chastised. The headmistress had her arm around me as she sat me down next to her.
They had servants who served this table. We didn
’t have to get a tray and stand in line. The headmistress discussed the happenings of the morning with the teachers. Apparently, after I had left, discussions had taken place. They were worried about other girls copying me.
“I was surprised that no one asked why I had left.” I joined in with the conversation. “That says a lot.”
“What do you mean, Amelia?” the headmistress asked.
“I’m guessing that they all assumed something but probably not the truth.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m guessing that they all have reasons why they would leave, and they projected their reasons on me.” I shut up after that, but the headmistress went on talking about things like and afternoon where the girls could talk openly with professionals who could answer questions about our fears.
“What were your fears, Amelia?” she asked me.
“What happens if you get pregnant, or old, or if it goes too far? Who could you turn to? If something like that had been in place, I would have gone and told someone in a one-on-one situation that I was pregnant, and that I needed help.” The whole table stared at me.
“Yes, we will set up some form of counseling for the girls.” The headmistress agreed with me.
“Where they can talk to someone without their nannies or daddies knowing? If I had been right in my thinking, then it would have been a matter of life or death.” I was surprised at how much I had said.
The headmistress told the other teachers that she would have a meeting in her office to discuss this further after school. My teacher led me back to my classroom. I was assigned a seat in the very back of the classroom, and my books were waiting for me.
I paid attention and listened to what was going on. It felt in some ways like I had never been gone.
I glanced at Rose a couple of times, and she gave me odd looks. She hadn’t asked any questions before, but I could tell that she really wanted to talk to me. I wondered if she was mad at me.
Would she be mad because I had left, or because I had been caught?
Nanny talked to my teacher after school, and they smiled at each other.
We walked side by side as we left the building. Nanny explained that the headmistress had come to their nanny meeting and told them what I had said at lunch. She said I was being so grown up. She was proud of how I handled the day.
Daddy was waiting in the parking lot. He stood next to the limousine and held the door open for us. He looked relieved that I was still there.
Daddy really didn’t have to worry about me ever running away again. He had the one thing that meant the most to me in the whole wide world, my Sarah.
Chapter 10 – He Trusts Me, He Trusts Me Not
Brian sighed with relief when he saw Amelia come out of school. He worried that she wouldn’t be there. He had even convinced himself that she wouldn’t be.
Brian held the door open for her and for her Nanny.
That night he let her sleep in his bed. He fell asleep with his arm wrapped around her.
Every day he made time to pick her up from school. He had to see for himself that she would be there. She smiled at him and walked right over to him.
On the ride home he asked her about her day. She told him what they were studying and about how some girls behaved. Amelia felt that they behaved very badly. She informed him that she was glad that her nanny would never let her get away with those things.
“I wouldn’t let you get away with that either.” He couldn’t resist his need to tickle her. At first, his finger quickly danced over her tummy, but then he became aroused. His hands glided over her and up to her breasts. He squeezed the globes in his hands, thinking that they had grown since before Sarah. He liked that. That was proof that he was a normal man. He just loved his wife and wanted her to be decently dressed in high quality clothing that showed that she was female.
Slowly he pushed Amelia down on her back. Brian peeked to make sure that the divider was up between them and the driver. It was safely in place. He grinned down at Amelia. She was smiling up at him.
Her skirt easily flipped up, and he quickly removed her underwear, glad to see that it had a tiny white bow at the top, in the middle, right over her tummy. That was something that was important to her.
“You are so beautiful. I missed you so much when you were gone.”
“I know better now. I’ll never leave you again. I promise, Daddy.”
He leaned over her and kissed her lips. “I’ll never give you reason again.”
Brian opened his trousers and got out his penis. The familiar feeling of her fingers wrapping around his penis made him close his eyes and thrust gently into her soft tiny hand.
Amelia’s other hand was lain over his cheek. It was the most loving touch he had ever had in all his life. He felt loved and accepted.
When they joined their bodies, Amelia gasped loudly.
“Did you forget how nice it is, Sweetheart?” he asked.
“It always takes my breath away,” she admitted.
“Mine too.” Brian loved his wife with his body, and his heart was starting to believe that this wasn’t just a show. He scolded himself for ever doubting her. She was his sweetheart.
They exited the limousine and straighten out. Both were smiling and had a good feeling about their marriage. Brian wrapped his arm around his wife and took her up to the nursery.
They both stood at the end of the crib and sang Sarah a song.
Neither noticed that Nanny Dobson was frowning behind. She could see that Mrs. … was getting better. She didn’t like that.
Mothers always did the firing. She had hoped that no mother meant - no firing. She didn’t want to have to keep her distance to Sarah to protect her own feelings. It felt like a loud clock was ticking in the background.
What she wanted was ridiculous. She only knew of one grown woman with a nanny. Would Nanny Prim get fired once Mrs. … was well?
Nanny Prim also noticed that Amelia was doing so much better. She was so pleased. It didn’t matter that the others all stared at her as she ate. If Amelia was getting better and smiling, then it was worth it.
“I’m going to take Sarah with me to work today. She needs to have her check-up. I want a bag packed with everything that she needs and nothing more.”
“Certainly, sir. May I accompany you?”
Brian stopped and thought about that for a moment. He planned on dropping Amelia off at school before he went to work and picking her up afterwards. He liked the idea of having an extra pair of hands ready to help with Sarah, but he couldn’t risk Nanny Dobson knowing where Amelia went every day.
“Maybe next time. Today we are going to have a Father/Daughter day.”
“Isn’t Mrs. … going along?”
“She has an appointment of her own today,” he lied. “I’ll be leaving in half an hour. Have her ready.”
Brian went to Amelia’s room where her nanny was also getting her ready for the day. Amelia was sitting on a chair while Nanny Prim put curls in the ends of Amelia’s hair. She had worn her hair that way the day that they had met.
“How long yet? We still have to eat. We can’t have her scarfing down her breakfast, Nanny.” Brian had been quick to point out every little mistake that Nanny Prim made.
She laid the curling iron down on the counter and smiled at her employer. “I’m finished, sir.”
“Come along then, Amelia. Daddy has a very busy day ahead of him.”
Amelia took hold of his hand, and smiled a goodbye at her nanny. “Do you have special plans today?” she asked.
“I’m taking Sarah with me to work. I’ll give her a check-up and show her off a little.” Brian winked at his wife. He was such a proud father, who wasn’t afraid to admit that he wanted to brag about his adorable daughter.
“Can I go along?” Amelia’s eyes were wide with longing. She wanted so much more than he was prepared to give.
It was clear that Brian couldn’t risk it. He thought of himself turning away, for just a second, and Amelia grabbing Sarah and
running off with her. He had been fooling himself. There was no trust between them. “Maybe next time.” He told her the same words that he had used with Sarah’s nanny.
Amelia’s chin puckered out, and the sides of her mouth dropped down in a sad frown.
“I’ll tell you all about it when we pick you up.” He promised her.
***
Time passed by, and things started to fall into a kind of routine. I got to see Sarah every day, some days longer and some days just for a quick kiss on her cheek while she slept. Every moment was precious.
Daddy really loved her too. He even took her to work one day to show her off. I didn’t like that idea, but he insisted that she needed a check-up.
I begged to go along, but he said no. He didn’t come out and say it, but it was quite clear that he still didn’t trust me enough. He was worried that he could lose both of us.
All of this stress was making me very tired. I played my role just the way he wanted me to, but he knew that I was just acting now. There was no trust there anymore.
Daddy let me sleep in his bed most nights, but there were times when he couldn’t stand the sight of me. I had hurt him too much.
I think the fact that everyone else knew exactly what happened hurt him too. His own wife believed that he would kill his child. That was hard for any man to swallow.
Daddy had come home very happy from their trip to his office. Sarah was advanced for her age, by a lot. He had brought home books for her nanny to read about gifted children. He told her she could order whatever Sarah needed so she could continue on in her fast development.
Daddy was really proud of her, and I just held her while he gave the nanny instructions. He was telling her so much that she was writing things down.
