You seem filled with spite, and I don’t even know what you look like.
I can feel it, though. Do you spite me?
Is this some sort of vengeance where you’ll enjoy my getting what I deserve?
I feel like you’re close but you’re not answering me on purpose, and now, honestly, honestly now, I’m just getting angry.
Where are you? Are you in the room? Just get this over with, for fuck’s sake.
Is that you breathing, or is that the fan?
Hello?
You know what, I don’t even care anymore. Do whatever the hell you’re going to do to me, darling, I’ve suffered far worse, believe me. And when you’re done, I’ll have an incredible story of your pathetic revenge rampage for my next memoir. Which is actually a great title, come to think of it.
I will enjoy monetizing you.
I will enjoy seeing you in court when they catch you.
I’ll sue your family and friends when this is all over. You know that, right?
You will have nothing. You will—
VI
JAMARVELOUS83: Are you there?
JAMARVELOUS83: I read that a reporter from the Dispatch reached out to you for a comment. What are you going to say, Maude? That you’re a monster? That you’re sick? That it’s funny? Are you going to tell them why you did it? Why you did what you did to me? How about you tell me first. Go on. You owe me that much.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Please
Tell me motherfucker why did you do this to me
One
GOOD EVENING, I’M YOUR HOST, MELISSA HOPE, AND thank you for joining me on BCN’s number-one primetime television talk show covering ALL of America’s most HORRIFIC stories and injustices, right here on The Melissa Hope Show. Our top story tonight: Male. Sexual. Assault. Another BOMBSHELL in the case that’s rocked the nation over the last year, as controversial provocateur author and TV personality Sebastian White comes forward as the FOURTH VICTIM to be attacked by an unidentified female predator known to federal investigators only as Maude, whose string of violent crimes against men seems to have NO END in sight. Maude even has her own FAN CLUB, ladies and gentlemen, a vigilante online group who call themselves “The Maudesters.” As you know, this program landed an exclusive interview with Donald Ellis mere months after his assault and has continued to lead the charge with the most up-to-date information and coverage on this horrifying case as it continues to unfold. Joining me tonight on the Hope Panel: Brenda Landowski, a forensic psychologist and former FBI investigator, now a fellow BCN contributor—welcome to the family, Brenda!—Jennifer Sampson, a criminal defense attorney, and Meryl Pichette, social media critic and blogger at EverythingMen.com. Brenda, let’s jump right in: What. The. Hell, Brenda?
BRENDA: Listen, in all my years at the Bureau I don’t think I ever saw such a whodunit—no, literally, WHO!—
MELISSA: [Laughter]
BRENDA: This . . . this perpetrator has been covering their tracks—
MELISSA:—HER!—
BRENDA: [Laughter] Yes! “HER!,” thank you—HER tracks incredibly well. I mean, listen, minimal physical and serological evidence, no prints, no witnesses. It’s hard not to sympathize with investigators here as they struggle for . . . for anything even remotely resembling a lead. I mean, if I were working these cases, I’d wonder—I’d wonder if I was working with some kind of professional, Melissa.
MELISSA: Chills. I literally have CHILLS here, Brenda. So . . . Give it to me hard, Hope-style: Almost a year now. Four victims: Donald Ellis, Watertown, New York. Pear O’Sullivan, Springfield, Massachusetts. Jamar Sands, Albany, New York. And now Sebastian White, Westchester, New York. That’s a stone’s throw away from our Manhattan offices! Utterly terrifying. No leads. No arrests. No suspects. What’s the FBI’s next move?
BRENDA: Right, well, as you know, there have been some very disturbing details leaked to the press—
MELISSA:—Yes, tell us about this, Brenda, I mean, they found a SIX-FOOT-LONG HAIR, for Christ’s sakes—
BRENDA:—I know!—
MELISSA: I mean, I feel PHYSICALLY. ILL. What kind of hygiene does this Girl Thing have?
BRENDA: [Laughter] Yes, well, so many questions remain, Melissa in fact, I would say ALL questions remain. Listen, that hair and whatever else they might have DNA-wise haven’t delivered any matches, so I imagine investigators are really scratching their heads at this point. Now, it’s possible they may have a suspect they aren’t telling us about, but I haven’t heard anything from my sources. It’s as if this woman just doesn’t exist.
MELISSA: What about circumstantial? Tell us about the crime scenes.
BRENDA: I wish there was more to tell, Melissa. I mean, everything I’m hearing sounds, you know, uncompromised. I don’t think anyone’s handled anything poorly here. There are no signs of crime-scene contamination, there’s no—I mean, look, it’s frustrating for everyone involved, but this is just one of those cases for the ages, ya know?
MELISSA: You heard it here, folks. One. For. The. Ages. Breaking live. Right here, in your living rooms, ladies and gentlemen. Unleash the lawyer! Jennifer Sampson, come take a dive in Melissa’s deep end. Drop your detective anchor: what do you make of these specific cases and the controversial circumstances surrounding how, in particular, they occurred?
JENNIFER: Listen, no one deserves to be the victim of a sexual assault, but doesn’t this bring up another issue, Melissa—
MELISSA:—I knew there’d be a “but”!—
JENNIFER: Yeah, but shouldn’t people engage in common-sense behavior? The first victim—
MELISSA:—Yeah. Like don’t rape an unconscious person?—
JENNIFER: Melissa, what kind of sense does it make for anybody, a girl or a boy or anybody, to get stinking drunk to the point that—to the point that you don’t know what’s going on, you have no consciousness about where you are or what you’re doing, you’re drinking with a random woman at a bar instead of being at home with your wife and kids—
MELISSA:—Mmm hmm—
JENNIFER:—I mean, shouldn’t people engage in some kind of behavior so as not to put themselves in a vulnerable position?
MELISSA: You’re absolutely right, but does that negate the fact that while he’s unconscious, she rapes him?
JENNIFER: Listen, that’s a form of conjecture, Melissa, I don’t have to tell you that. I mean, the third victim, Jamar Sands, was in an online CHAT ROOM with this woman! He invited her OVER! They were drinking and engaging in sexual acts consensually, according to the victim’s own statement—
MELISSA:—Until it wasn’t consensual—
JENNIFER:—We don’t know that, Melissa. I mean, it appears the victim was into some strange kinky stuff, with animal masks and this woman and the whole dead-cat thing—
MELISSA: So now you’re saying victim number three was a bad boy, he was SUCH A BAD BOY, he needs a spanking! Spank, spank, spank!—
JENNIFER: I’m not saying he was bad, I’m saying it was poor judgment—
MELISSA: No, no, Jennifer—let me ask you this, then. What about victim number one, Donald Ellis? If it was consensual, why did this woman just run away and leave Mr. Ellis lying there, half-naked, with blood and dirt all over his privates—
JENNIFER:—I don’t know, I don’t know, but—
MELISSA:—Why did she do that if it was consensual?—
JENNIFER:—I don’t know, but what I do know is that his judgment was seriously impaired, that by his own admission, and scientific evidence, he had twice the legal amount of alcohol in his body—
MELISSA:—There are no mitigating factors when it comes to sexual assault, Jennifer. All right, Meryl Pichette, your chance to tick-tock on the Melissa Hope clock. Now’s your time. Jennifer brings up an interesting point regarding being made to penetrate—which is, for viewers at home, the legal term in a court of law for the rape of a man by either a woman or another man. Meryl, tel
l me what your readers are saying and what you’re reading on social media about this SHOCKING story.
MERYL: Well, Melissa, our readers definitely have a lot to say here: the word Maude has been trending on Twitter for three days straight, and it’s the most-searched term on our website. But, I mean, a lot of people are asking some really tough questions—
MELISSA:—Go on—
MERYL:—Well, it’s like, okay, a lot of Americans want to know how, like literally HOW exactly, this could’ve been rape. I mean, from purely a logical perspective, wouldn’t a man have—and I just have to ask this, with all due respect to the victims—wouldn’t a man have to get an erection in order to be made to penetrate?
MELISSA: Tough questions, and I applaud you for going in deep here—
MERYL:—Thank you—
MELISSA:—And I’m no expert on the male anatomy and how it functions—
MERYL:—Oh, I am, Melissa, and believe me, I know how it functions!—
MELISSA:—[Laughter] You are hilarious, Pichette!—
MERYL:—And there are so many questions, like, for instance, why didn’t these men just push the attacker off them? I mean, they’re men!
MELISSA: Right.
MERYL: I mean, Mr. Sands is a young, handsome, assumedly strong guy—
MELISSA:—Maybe not so strong after all—
MERYL: Yes, well, yes, obviously, and that’s why I’m bringing it up. The American public wants to know why a guy with that kind of physical build, who did kettlebell tournaments, could be subdued by—by a WOMAN. And you know, Melissa, the harder question here—
MELISSA:—Tell me—
MERYL: The harder question here is, why was Mr. Sands aroused in the first place? How is that possible if—
MELISSA:—Right—
MERYL:—If, I mean, if it was not consensual? And according to what we’ve heard so far, she had a nickname for him in the chats they had—she called him Wolf.
MELISSA: That’s right, Maude is what she went by in that transcript of the chat obtained by the Dispatch earlier this year—
MERYL: Yes, Maude—
MELISSA:—Maude! It’s such an awful name. I mean, who IS this creature!
MERYL: [Laughter] Yeah, I mean, some people on Snapchat were mentioning that, like, she couldn’t have picked, I don’t know, like, a better name to go by?
JENNIFER: Reminds me of my great-aunt or something . . .
MELISSA: [Laughter] Yes! Maude. More like Maude to penetrate!
JENNIFER: [Laughter]
MERYL: [Laughter]
BRENDA: Maude to penetrate!
JENNIFER: [Laughter]
MELISSA:—Seriously! [Laughter]
BRENDA: [Laughter] Oh, that is too good!
MERYL: [Laughter]
JENNIFER: [Laughter]
BRENDA: [Laughter]
MERYL: [Laughter]
MELISSA:—All right, back on the Melissa Hope track, straight and narrow. Meryl, break it down for me: How is Twitter reacting to all this uncertainty? What’s the general consensus out there among the top voices in America? Give me their reactions.
Two
Did anyone watch @MelissaHopeShow tonight?
#MaudeToPenetrate is a stroke of genius. A consensual, nonviolent stroke.
—Daniel Tosh
315 comments | 710 retweets | 3.5K likes
.@PulitzerPrize please give @MelissaHope the Big P for naming the lady who did bad things to some dudes.
#MaudeToPenetrate
—Fat Jew
35 comments | 170 retweets | 534 likes
My heart breaks for the #MaudeToPenetrate victims and their families sending so much love and prayers and strength
—Taylor Swift
685 comments | 56K retweets | 742K likes
Conflicted about #MaudeToPenetrate Why was this married father of 2 drinking w/ a random woman in the first place?
—Meghan McCain
229 comments | 676 retweets | 2.5K likes
moment of silence 4 victims of #MaudeToPenetrate tonight at my MSG show I am here & will fight 4 u. U are not alone. B strong.
—Lady Gaga
1.1K comments | 38K retweets | 990K likes
Writing a memoir on my horrible experience being attacked by #MaudeToPenetrate stay tuned for updates on publisher, date, etc.
—Sebastian White
110.1K comments | 150K retweets | 280.8K likes
Controversial writer, blogger, and #MaudeToPenetrate victim Sebastian White is writing a book, and we are equally horrified and thrilled.
—Jezebel
23.1K comments | 86.2K retweets | 171.2K likes
I’m just going to say it: Men, enjoy a taste of your own medicine. #Maudester
—Laura Marie
115 comments | 610 retweets | 1,233 likes
When it comes to violence against men, some people are actually saying what many have been thinking: Men are getting what they deserve. Inside the bizarre world of #Maudesters
—Bitch magazine
64 comments | 301 retweets | 609 likes
Read my latest piece in The Atlantic on a brewing cult calling themselves the Maudesters and how generations of violence and abuse against women has inevitably led to this moment.
#MaudetoPenetrate
—Jill Fitzpatrick
115 comments | 610 retweets | 1,233 likes
This Maudesters shit is the scariest witch hunt of them all.
—Feminist Bullshit
77 comments | 324 retweets | 1,001 likes
Young woman drugged and raped on university campus, authorities are looking for a white male in his early 20s. Contact @Chicago_Police with any information.
—Chicago Tribune
1 comment | 0 retweets | 1 like
What’s worse than #MaudeToPenetrate?
#LiterallyNothingIHaveNoJokesThisIsHorrifying
—Jim Gaffigan
699 comments | 23.6K retweets | 232K likes
FALSE: #MaudeToPenetrate is not part animal. At least not that we know of.
—Snopes
1.5K comments | 44K retweets | 200K likes
Can a man be raped? Some say not possible. Join the #MaudeToPenetrateDebate tonight on Facebook Live @ 11:30 p.m. EST
—Facebook
44.6K comments | 100K retweets | 885K likes
Yes, men can get raped. There is no #MaudeToPenetrateDebate, only rape.
—Teen Vogue
2.9K comments | 12K retweets | 200K likes
Yo dudes CANNOT GET RAPED. Trust. Not possible. Someone is lying. #HateMaudeToPenetrateDebate
—Kanye West
10.9K comments | 444K retweets | 1.1M likes
I remember when I was told by someone that I was going to get raped for smoking pot
—Leah_Sky_15
0 comments | 0 retweets | 0 likes
My new album is written for the victims of #MaudeToPenetrate. Donate to my Kickstarter album fund today.
—Amanda Palmer
2.9K comments | 8K retweets | 12.8K likes
Simon & Schuster acquires Sebastian White’s forthcoming memoir, Revenge Rampage, for historic seven-figure deal.
—Publishers Weekly
599 comments | 1K retweets | 4,901 likes
Read Jonathan Safran Foer’s new short story, “Maude in the Medusa of a Man’s Arousal,” in our summer issue.
—The New Yorker
139 comments | 123 retweets | 2K likes
How do you politely tell your mother’s friend (who is trying to be helpful) “I was raped. It doesn’t matter who sleeps in my bed.”
-caats4Lyfe
1 comment | 0 retweets | 3 likes
Read my latest piece: The Inequality Game: How we talk about the white #MaudeToPenetrate victims compared to Jamar Sands.
—Shaun King
875 comments | 1.1K retweets | 321K likes
Hold the ones you love near and dear today.
#MaudeToPenetrate
—Oprah Winf
rey
5.8K comments | 6.7K retweets | 321K likes
Join our #MaudeToPenetrate panel of experts tonight to discuss the heated topic of male rape 8/7 C on @FoxNews
—Sean Hannity
4.6K comments | 502 retweets | 111K likes
Pray for the sins of the #MaudeToPenetrate men with us.
—National Review
401K comments | 467K retweets | 1.2M likes
We will be protesting outside Brown University today, where sinner Donald Ellis will be speaking about sexual assault.
—Westboro Baptist Church
15 comments | 33 retweets | 180 likes
Don’t worry, we are working with greatest to catch monster Maude! Disgusting! America has best most amazing experts!
—President of the United States Donald J. Trump
786K comments | 1.6M retweets | 5.8M likes
BREAKING: Man comes forward as fifth victim in #MaudeToPenetrate attacks.
—Associated Press
50K comments | 163K retweets | 1.8M likes
46-year-old Michael Parker of Shelburne, Vermont, is the latest victim in a string of unsolved violent sexual crimes by a female perpetrator.
—BuzzFeed
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