Maybe Kell was right to hold back, Abby mused late one afternoon while, sitting at her desk exhausted after another mobile clinic, yet reluctant to go home. If one night together could feature so heavily in the jigsaw of her life, imagine three months’ worth?
Imagine falling in love, and it would be so easy to do, Abby conceded, only to have to kiss him goodbye.
‘Right, I’m done.’ Snapping the lid on her gel pen, Abby gave a smile to Kell as she walked past.
‘See you, Abby,’ Kell called cheerfully, hardly bothering to even look up from what he was doing. And though she knew it was for the best, that there was absolutely no point in pursuing this, she couldn’t just leave things there.
‘Are you on in the morning?’ Abby asked, lingering too long at the door.
‘Nope.’ Kell smiled. ‘I’ve got four days off now. Not that there’s going to be much R and R taking place—there’s a pile of jobs waiting for me back home.’
Home.
From the little she knew of him, the house he rented next to hers wasn’t Kell’s home.
Apparently his real home was a massive sprawling property with a zillion cows and an endless demand on his time.
‘Oh, well, enjoy.’ Abby smiled though her heart sank. She was officially off at the weekend which meant she wouldn’t see Kell till Monday, not that he seemed remotely bothered. ‘I’ll see you after the weekend, then.’
Kell barely looked up. ‘Sure. Catch you later.’
Leaving the clinic, Abby bristled with indignation.
Catch you later.
What was she, one of his blessed cows or something?
The evening stretched on endlessly before her. Checking her emails, Abby listlessly read about parties she hadn’t been to, the plays she hadn’t seen and the new menus she hadn’t sampled.
Heavens, it was hot!
Stripping down to her undies, Abby pulled the ring on a can of beer and rolled her eyes, thinking of the fifty-dollar bottles of wine her colleagues were undoubtedly ordering at this very moment.
‘It’s Monday, Abby,’ she corrected herself. Even her favourite restaurant at Darling Harbour would be quiet.
Even the news was different here—in-depth reports on the drought, the cattle markets, the weather gone into in such detail, when in truth it could have been summed up in one word.
‘Hot.’
Or two.
‘Stinking hot.’
The T.V. commercials might just as well have been in Japanese, the latest breakthroughs in the eternal problem of female exfoliation barely got a mention when there were worming tablets to be discussed or the latest in water tanks to be sold!
She couldn’t even break her diet and ring for a pizza, and sitting in the local watering hole with the locals endlessly talking about Tennengarrah’s annual ball preparations wasn’t really an option in Abby’s current restless mood.
What was the point of a ball when Prince Charming so clearly wasn’t interested? When Prince Charming had already fitted the slipper and no doubt moved onto pastures new!
‘Hey.’
Prince Charming standing with a rather wilted bunch of flowers and a rapidly melting bar of chocolate was the last thing Abby was expecting. And though her underwear was fabulously expensive and undoubtedly flattering, it wasn’t exactly the look she was hoping to achieve when Kell finally deigned to drop by.
‘Doesn’t anyone knock here?’ Abby asked, grabbing a throw and tucking it around herself.
‘No.’ Kell shrugged, but from the way he couldn’t quite meet her eyes Abby was sure he wasn’t as cool as he looked.
‘What are these for?’ she asked rather ungraciously as Kell handed her the flowers.
‘You said you liked flowers and chocolates, and there’s no movie theatre for a few hundred k’s, but I’ve got a good video lined up.’
She actually laughed. ‘Four weeks after the event is stretching it, Kell, even allowing for disconnected phones and a family death.’ She looked at his non-comprehending face. ‘That’s the sort of excuses we women come up with when men don’t call. Not that you needed to call, Kell,’ Abby rambled on. ‘We see each other every day at work.’
‘I’ve been trying to play it cool.’
‘Well, you’ve done an amazing job.’
‘I figured that if I laid low long enough, you’d realise what you’re missing.’
It had worked!
‘Are you doing anything?’ Kell pressed. ‘Tonight, I mean?’
‘Actually, I’ve got a table booked for eight and there’s some clothes I need to pick up from the dry-cleaners before they close, but apart from that…’ She looked at his blank face. ‘Tell me, Kell, what plans could I possibly have in this backwater?’
Her words were too harsh, too condescending, and Abby regretted them, but Kell turning up like this was the last thing she’d been expecting, and letting him glimpse the effect he was having on her was way too dangerous.
It was easier to play it tough.
‘Get dressed,’ Kell said, ignoring her sarcasm. ‘There’s something I want to show you.’
Void of a single witty answer for once, Abby didn’t backchat him.
For once she did as she was told.
Now they’d slept together, now they’d shared a bed, riding on the back of Kell’s bike wasn’t such a balancing act!
OK, she had no official claim on him, but their rather too distant shared intimacy at least mentally permitted Abby to hold onto Kell’s waist as they belted along the dirt roads, the wind whipping the words out of her mouth as she occasionally spoke. With Kell’s back now morally accessible to rest her cheek on, Abby finally permitted herself to relax.
Sort of.
The late sun was still hot on her bare thighs, the engine purring between her legs as they tore through the endless distance, the occasional silver windmill glittering by a thirsty dam.
Tennengarrah was beautiful, Abby admitted almost reluctantly, for she didn’t want to be enamoured of the land. Didn’t want to fall in love with its undeniable charms because surely that could only make leaving harder.
She wanted it to be a job, as bland as a concrete building, a line on her résumé, a means to an end.
Not a life-changing experience.
But it entranced her. It had a rugged naked charm not unlike Kell and even that analogy seemed fitting, for the land he was so much a part of was so much a part of him.
But the analogy didn’t end there.
She didn’t want to love Kell either.
Didn’t want to admit that the overwhelming attraction that had propelled them to bed was so much more than skin deep. Didn’t want to acknowledge that his smile, his walk, every damn thing about him had her in the palm of his hand.
Love was out of bounds.
Love made you do stupid things, like chuck in eight years of hard work on top of six years of study, made you give up long-held dreams of being an emergency consultant, hold back on a promise you’d made to a friend, made you contemplate a life with a dark-haired charmer and a cattle ball once a year and endless dark-haired, dark-eyed, eternally laid-back children.
She simply mustn’t go there.
They rode for ever, up winding rocky paths, over bumpy terrain, the bike allowing them access to places even the Jeep couldn’t negotiate. She had no idea where they were going and in truth Abby didn’t care. Being with Kell such an unexpected treat, the whys and wherefores could wait a while.
Up they went, the landscape more awe-inspiring by the moment, each blink like the shutter of a camera, revealing a more amazing view, and Abby rued that she hadn’t even thought to bring her camera. When they finally stopped Kell switched off the engine, pulling off his helmet and shaking his hair, and Abby did the same.
‘We’ll have to walk the last bit. Are you up to it?’
His question made her laugh. She wasn’t quite that feeble!
‘Oh, I think I can manage it.’
But a gentle bush walk was
n’t what Kell had in mind.
Pulling a backpack on, he led the way, holding her wrist every now and then as she negotiated a rock, or climbed a none-too-small cliff face until finally she knew they’d reached their journey’s end, for nowhere on earth could be more idyllic.
Amidst the dry, unforgiving land she surveyed a true oasis. Two massive billabongs carved into the dark red rock, the water as blue and clear as crystal, beckoning her hot, aching body.
‘It’s beautiful,’ Abby gasped, drinking in the view, her eyes finally resting on Kell who gazed at the scene before him with knowing eyes.
‘I know.’
‘Does it get busy, I mean with tourists…?’
Kell’s eyes found hers. ‘I’ve never seen another soul here.’
‘Never?’ She ran a nervous tongue over her dry lips.
‘Never,’ Kell affirmed.
‘Any crocodiles?’
‘None.’
‘You’re sure.’
‘Positive. Do you reckon we’ve earned a swim?’
Abby wasted no time with false modestly. To have made a token protest, to have forced a blush or pulled a face would have been pointless. After all, they’d more than seen each other naked and perhaps more to the point, after a long hot dusty bike ride never had water looked more inviting!
As they stripped down, as they ran whooping into the icy water, it wasn’t even sexual excitement that made Abby feel suddenly alive, though the sight of Kell naked certainly took care of that. No, it was more the thrill of the child within her, the utter joy of being here, and they duck-dived and swam and splashed and grabbed each other’s ankles. Abby found that she wasn’t such a bad swimmer after all, nowhere near Kell’s standard, of course, but, Abby reasoned, if this was his back-yard pool then he had every reason to practise.
‘Come on.’ Shivering, her fingers and toes wrinkled, her teeth chattering, Abby dried herself with the small towel Kell offered, then waited as he pulled a rug from his bike box and laid it on the ground.
‘I’ve never brought anyone here before.’ Abby was about to laugh, to make some light-hearted comment, but she heard the serious note in Kell’s voice and knew it would be out of place.
‘No one?’ Abby checked.
‘No one,’ Kell confirmed. ‘I’ve always kept it as my own, somewhere to escape to, somewhere to come and think.’ He rolled onto his back, and stared up at the darkening sky.
‘What are you thinking now?’
‘How nice it is to be here with you…’
Abby lay on her back, smiling into the dusk at the quiet lull of his voice, but her smile faded as Kell carried on talking.
‘How I don’t want you to go.’
She felt his face jerk towards hers and she lay there rigid, staring unblinkingly at the sky filling with stars. And even though what Kell had said was exactly what Abby had wanted to hear, she wished somehow he could take it back, flick the switch and carry on the game they had been playing, that they were friends, lovers once but really just friends. Not this horrible grown-up version with feelings and beginnings and the inevitable end.
‘You’ve ignored me for the last month.’
‘I have not.’
‘Oh, you’ve been lovely to me at work, but—’
‘Abby, do you not think I’ve wanted to see you, not wanted to take you out?’
‘Then why didn’t you?’
Kell gave a low laugh. ‘Because I knew the minute I got you alone I’d be moaning how I don’t want you to go, getting heavy, doing all the things I’ve never done before.’
‘Never?’
‘Never.’
His honesty scared her, the whole thing scared Abby actually, how one man could have her acting so completely out of character, how one night could have the potential to turn her life around so completely and so irreparably she couldn’t even begin to contemplate it. And from the serious look on Kell’s face he understood the impossibility of it, too.
‘It could never work Kell.’ She heard him exhale, saw his eyes close, the tiny shake of his head. ‘It couldn’t, Kell, and you know that as much as I do. We’re just too different.’ She let out a low laugh, trying to lighten the suddenly dark, volatile mood. ‘Can you imagine me getting excited like Shelly is about the annual Tennengarrah ball? Can you imagine me discussing cattle per hectare and the local craft market with Clara?’
Her voice dropped a shade and she tried to keep the tremor out of it as she continued. ‘Can you imagine you in the city, Kell, cooped up in some tiny apartment, catching the train or bus to work when you’re used to all this?’ He didn’t answer and his silence tore through her. ‘It could never work,’ Abby said more lightly than she felt, the reality of her words delivering an agony she couldn’t portray to him.
‘I’m not a hick, Abby, I wouldn’t be like Crocodile Dundee.’
‘I know you wouldn’t, but it would be a huge move and the truth is I wouldn’t exactly be around to make things run smoothly for you. With this drug programme and everything, I’m going to be putting in obscene hours.’ Realising she was getting nowhere, Abby propped herself on her elbow and dug Kell in the ribs, trying to inject some humour into this awful situation. ‘Did you pick up my suit from the cleaners’? We’re meeting everyone at the wine bar at seven then on to the theatre, and Reece wants us to meet for eighteen holes of golf on Sunday.’
‘Sounds good,’ Kell insisted, but Abby shook her head.
‘For a holiday perhaps, but you’d end up hating it, Kell, and in turn you’d end up hating me, which I couldn’t bear.’
‘Don’t say that.’ He shook his head furiously. ‘I could never, ever hate you.’
‘Well, maybe hate’s too strong a word, but it would end up tearing us apart. Tennengarrah’s in your blood, Kell, you said it yourself. This is where you belong.’
‘But not you?’
Abby shook her head.
‘Isn’t it worth a try?’
Again she shook her head. ‘If it was just about me, Kell, I’d say yes. Even though I’ve wanted to be an emergency consultant all my life, what’s happened between us is so big I actually think I could let it go, give us a genuine try. That’s how serious I feel about you…’
‘But?’ Kell’s single word was spot on and Abby sat up restlessly. Burying her face in her hands, she massaged her temples as she let out a long, painful sigh.
‘All this hot air I’ve been blowing is starting to take shape.’ Looking down, she smiled at his confusion. ‘All that tapping away on my computer and firing off emails has finally paid off. My dream’s got a name now—EDAP, or Emergency Drug Assessment Programme. Admin’s finally come to the party and they’re going to allocate funds for one counsellor for a three-month trial. The rapid detox clinic is going to let us have first refusal on a daily bed and I’ve got more lecturers lined up for the staff than I can count. I can’t just walk away now. What sort of message is that going to send?’
‘Can’t someone else take over?’
She shook her head wearily. ‘Oh, Kell, I’m not vain enough to think I’ll be the best emergency consultant in the world, that the department’s going to collapse if I don’t return, but I know for a fact this programme will. Sure, someone might pick up the ball and run with it for a while, but I’ve called in a lot of favours to get where we are now. If I pull out, how can I blame anyone else for doing the same?’
He didn’t say anything and for a while neither did Abby. They just stared into each other’s eyes, trying to work out some sort of answer when in truth there wasn’t one.
‘Anyway…’ Abby attempted a grin. ‘Given that we’ve only spent one night together, it might never come to that. Who knows? By the time my contract’s up we might be sick of the sight of each other and counting the days until I go!’
Her hollow words didn’t even provoke a response, they both knew they were already in way too deep. ‘What if you stayed just a bit longer?’ The hope in his voice diminished as Abby gently shook h
er head.
‘What would be the point, Kell? The end’s still going to be the same. Let’s just enjoy what we have for now, huh?’
‘A holiday romance, you mean.’
‘A working holiday romance,’ Abby suggested, with more conviction than she felt.
‘I guess it’s an improvement on a one-night stand,’ Kell said grudgingly as Abby gave a relieved sigh. ‘But I don’t want us hiding, Abby. I mean it. There’s not going to be any pretending we’re just colleagues and scuttling around corners like naughty teenagers. We’re on or we’re off for the next couple of months, not somewhere in between.’ He pulled her closer, if that were possible, breathing her in, revelling in her scent, her presence, before he continued. ‘That’s another reason I’ve been holding back, Abby. It isn’t just the thought of losing you I can’t stand, it’s the thought of only having half of you.’
‘Why do you think I’d want to hide our relationship?’
‘Well, you didn’t seem exactly thrilled to have slept with a lowly nurse when you woke up on our first morning together.’
‘Oh, Kell,’ Abby sighed, appalled at his take on things. ‘That didn’t even come into it. I was mortified at waking up with someone whose surname I didn’t even know, someone I’d only met a few hours before. It was never, ever about that.’
‘So I’ll do?’ A cheeky grin played on his lips, crinkling around his eyes, and Abby fell just a little bit deeper as she gazed back at him.
‘I guess you’ll have to.’ Her answer was casual, flip almost, but the utter adoration blazing in her eyes told Kell she was teasing.
‘So no hiding, we’re riding back into town as a couple.’
‘It looks that way.’ Still the casual voice remained, but a bubble of excitement welled inside her, the prospect of going public both thrilled and terrified her—that she could spend her nights wrapped in his arms, awake with him in the morning, come home to him at night. Any hope of remaining casual disintegrated as her lips instinctively moved towards his, desperate to confirm the depth of her feelings with a kiss, but Kell hadn’t finished talking yet, the soft smile sliding from his lips as his serious eyes held hers for a moment.
‘And when your time’s up, Abby, what will we do then?’
The Bush Doctor's Challenge Page 9
