Maybe, Emily thought, she should begin with what was foremost on her heart after their impassioned words, and the rest would somehow follow.
“I love you both,” she began softly and lifted her head from Gabriel’s chest so she could face them.
“And we love you,” Gabriel replied sincerely.
“Yes, we do,” Noah nodded and heaved a heavy sigh. “I love you, Em. So much.”
“I know. And I know your personalities as well as my own, so I know you get surly and grouchy when things have you tied in knots. But I’ve never been on the receiving end of that ire, until tonight… And… Well, it didn’t feel good, let me leave it at that.”
Gabriel tensed against her and Noah grimaced. But Emily shook her head, willing them to let her get it all out.
“Before I left home, I was barely hanging on by a thread. I was exhausted, terrified, and so very tired of being afraid. Of living in that constant state of apprehension and fear. Of not trusting anyone anymore, not even myself. But when that last envelope came, I sat there at Gram’s table and I thought to myself that I still had one choice. To stay and wait to be a victim, or leave and protect those I cared about most. I chose to leave, because I still had that freedom at least.”
“Now I’m here and you are too. After all these years, you’re really here with me. I’ve been drawing strength from you both, trying to infuse this new found love you’ve professed into my heart and soul, so I had something more than my own depleted reserves to draw from. And tonight, I finally felt like it was working. Like we were working as a team.”
“But when you slammed the door in my face, so to speak, it was a hard wake-up call,” Emily said heavily. “Like it or not, in this, I am another case to you. I’m the one you’ve got to defend and protect, not the woman you love. And so you can’t include me, you can’t plan with me, and that means I’m on the outside of this, just like I was at home. I’m still running and I’m still hiding, just waiting while others control my life. A life that I no longer have any say in.”
“Does that mean I love you any less because things are the way they are? No. I’ve always loved you. Loved you both. And I accept your apologies. I need you to know that I understand why it has to be this way, why you have to exclude me. Logically, I do.”
“But my heart…” Emily broke off as a sob escaped her lips. The sob she’d been trying so desperately to hold in. “My heart is done. I don’t know how to give up any more than I already have. My life as I knew it, my freedom, my home – they’re all gone. And in that one moment in there, I felt so alone, like the stalker had taken you too. Ripped that partnership right away. I’m at my end here, guys. The very end.”
“Emily, my God, look at me,” Gabriel rasped. “You are not on the outside of us! Never that! Never, honey! You are at the very center of us. Without you, there is no us! Do not let our tempers and our fears tear you down to the point that we undo all we’ve been building here over the last two days. We’ve known and loved one another for too many years to stop now.”
“I didn’t say that I didn’t love you, Gabe,” she breathed. “I said I cannot live like this anymore. With no voice, no control, nor any hope. I miss those things. A lot.”
“And we will help you reclaim your life and every precious ounce of freedom that has been wrested from you,” Gabriel pledged ardently. “But it will be the three of us, Em, fighting the good fight. Do not give up now, Emily. Please don’t, honey.”
“Emily, come here,” Noah called and held open his arms to her. He couldn’t bear the distance any longer. Not while she was slipping away. And she was. He could feel it just as surely as he could the air which was traveling into his lungs in ragged bursts.
Emily let Gabriel help her move over until she was astride Noah’s lap, perched there so he could see her. He cupped her face and kept his eyes firmly locked on hers.
“I cannot make it without you, Emily,” Noah professed. “And that love and need to shelter you, is what made me deny any plan which might involve you getting hurt. I did not say those words to knock the supports out from under you. Far from it. It was an emotional outburst, and not logical thought at all. See it from our perspective, please. Men don’t sit and analyze their words before they pop out of their mouths like women do at times. We get riled, and sometimes words fly.”
“But hear these words, baby. I. Love. You. I’ve only ever wanted you, only craved you. You get me through so many nightmares and days of bleakness. You’re my ray of sunlight, and tonight I saw that light coming back into your eyes before and during dinner. Forgive us, and know that we can’t find this person without you. We can’t sort through it all, make sense of it all, or move forward as the family we are, without you. You, Emily, are a part of this team and a part of us, until we’re no more.”
“Tell me you hear me, and that you can move past this. Please tell me we’re not over. Not now that we’ve finally gotten the courage to tell you what’s always been there in our hearts. Please,” Noah begged. And he was most assuredly begging, he acknowledged, because his life would have no meaning whatsoever if she walked away from him now. Noah began to pray and beg God as well that Emily not be torn from his arms.
“I don’t want us to be over, Noah. That’s not what I said. I do love you,” Emily cried. She gave up the fight to hold it all inside as she closed the distance between her chest and his. Emily wrapped her arms around Noah’s neck and buried her face on his shoulder while the last of her bitter heartache tore free.
All of her remaining anger, desolation, and hopelessness poured out as he held her to his heart. If she’d thought the tears she’d shed earlier were a torrent, Emily knew then that she had been wrong. Her grief over all that had been lost to her was an ugly, living thing in the moment. And as her sobs constricted her airways, Emily saw her grief for the monster it really was.
She was letting this fiend, this stalker, actually take her from the two other people who loved her more than they loved themselves. She was giving up in a way she hadn’t before, not fighting for what was hers. And didn’t that truth sting and burn?
They’d always verbally sparred with each other, playfully bantered back and forth, and in the past she’d given as good as she got. But not this night. No, she’d let their hot-headed words, spoken in the heat of the moment, shake her newly formed foundations.
What had happened to her, Emily wondered? Where had she disappeared to in all this? Where was the Emily she knew? The fighter? The dreamer?
She’d done the one thing she’d sworn never to do when this whole nightmare had begun. She had given up, and Emily was sorry to admit that she was ready to send the guys on with their team while she hid somewhere else, far, far away.
The truth shamed her. She was the coward, not they. But she didn’t have to be, Emily told herself. She could be the Emily she was before this all started. She could be a fighter, someone that she and her family could be proud of.
At that thought, she remembered her Gram’s face. What would Gram say if she could see her now? Oh, Emily knew. She’d tell her to shake it off, get mad, and then get even. Hell, she’d stand there with her hands on her hips and demand that Emily find her backbone again. Because Emily not only had to fight this intruder, this interloper, she had to fight to keep Gabriel and Noah. She had them, but if she didn’t speak the words, she could lose their precious gift. Their promise of love and forever.
Emily leaned back and stared into Noah’s green eyes. He was crying right along with her, and she cupped his face and began to wipe the moisture away. She had to swallow repeatedly to get her voice to work, but finally there was enough there that she could speak to him. To them both.
She lifted her right hand from Noah’s face and settled it on Gabriel’s. Emily was shocked to feel tears there on his skin too, and she knew then that these men were worth fighting for. She held their hearts in her hand, just as they did hers, and she wasn’t letting go.
“I love you,” Emily said in a h
ushed tone. It was all she had after her gut-wrenching sobs. “I love you both. I want a life with you, a future with you, and I want to work alongside you to see this through – I need to, so I can reclaim my voice in all this. I want to be your partner in all ways and in all things. And that means we have to work together now to secure that future.”
“Hold me up when I’m weak and when I’m failing, guys, and I’ll try to do the same for you. And forgive me too, when I crumble, stumble, or fall. I don’t mean to, but sometimes the weight of all this becomes too much for one person to bear. Let’s move past this, because I cannot lose you too. I cannot, for you’re both the other pieces of my soul. Without you, I’m not whole.”
“Neither are we, Emily. Not without you,” Gabriel sighed.
He felt as if his entire world had just started spinning again. There was still some fight left in her. They hadn’t crushed it after all. And not only was she fighting this intruder, Emily was still fighting for the three of them as well. He was so damn thankful and happy, that Gabriel had only one singular thought which compelled him to move. He had to show her what she meant to them, not just tell her.
Gabriel leaned in and settled his lips over hers. A gentle brush of lips that felt like homecoming. Emily felt so soft and so tender as he swept his tongue across her lower lip, urging her to open for him. And when she did, he felt like a man truly reborn.
He cupped the back of her head and delved deeply. He tasted her, drank of her, made a feast of her. When at last Gabriel pulled back, Noah wasted no time turning Emily to face him again.
Noah understood Gabe’s hunger, because his was still a living thing too. It seemed to swell and grow there between them, as if their need to reaffirm and solidify their new bond was the only thing of importance. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Nothing else existed except the three of them.
Noah looked into Emily’s watery eyes, his gaze sweeping lower to take in her swollen lips after Gabriel’s plundering kiss. He shook his head as he cupped her face, and then lowered his lips to hers. Like Gabe, he began slowly. Tasting, nipping, and lightly brushing his lips against hers. He wooed her back to him with as much tenderness as he could produce, amazed that it came so effortlessly to him where she was concerned.
Yes, Noah thought, it was Emily. Always Emily that made him feel so sure of himself and so at peace. And she was his still, no matter what short-sighted thing he’d let slip through those same lips that were now mending their fences, and making it all better again.
Noah turned her face slightly and then ran his tongue deeper inside her mouth. He ate her up, needing Emily to want him just that much and more. When she whimpered low in her throat, he felt the last shreds of his composure slip away. Noah moved his hands down to her backside and pressed her against him as he rose in one swift motion.
He knew Gabriel would follow, so he made his way over to the door, ready to go inside and show Emily just how much she meant to him. To them both.
CHAPTER 22
Emily clung to Noah’s body, her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs locked firmly around his trim waist. He moved his lips down her throat as he walked them back inside, past the hot tub and to the bed. Slowly, so slowly that it made her breath catch in the back of her throat, he released his tight hold on her bottom and let her slide down the length of his muscular body.
Just as soon as her feet touched the floor, Gabriel was there at her back. He picked up where Noah left off, his lips scorching a hot trail down her neck while Noah reclaimed her lips with his. Emily felt his hands roaming over her body, and she lost herself in the sea of sensations that were coursing over and through her.
Noah’s adept fingers skimmed down her sides until he clasped the edge of her shirt. He and Gabriel lifted their heads away from her long enough to pull the t-shirt over her head. Then Gabriel reached around her and flicked the button of her jeans open. The soft rasp of a zipper was the only sound in the room, other than their labored breathing, and within seconds Emily knew he had it undone too.
Gabriel bent, trailing his hands along the smooth length of her legs as he pushed the denim down. Noah wrapped his fingers around her waist to steady her as Gabriel pulled each leg out of the material. He tossed her jeans to the side and then stood at his full height behind her once more. His hands ran down her back and cupped the pert globes of her ass, kneading and plumping them until she began to squirm.
They gave Emily no time to hold on to any one sensation, they just kissed, touched, and stroked her body until she was putty in their hands. Completely amenable to whatever pleasure they chose to bestow upon her. But Emily needed to connect with them of her own accord too. Give them what they were giving her.
She ran her palms up the contours of Noah’s toned chest and pushed his shirt over his head. He raised his arms and let her divest him of it, and then cupped her face to kiss her while her fingers began to work on his jeans. She opened the button and then the zipper, smiling as his stomach muscles contracted each time her knuckles brushed against his skin.
Noah stepped back only long enough to hook his thumbs into his belt loops and, in one swift motion, he shed his jeans and briefs. Emily licked her lips when his cock bobbed free, already fully engorged and beaded with liquid at its head. She reached out and clasped her hand around his shaft, hearing Noah hiss as she leaned over and closed her lips around the tip. Her tongue swept over the slit and she drank in the first dewy drops of his arousal.
He groaned as she took more of him inside her mouth, and Noah ran his hands into her hair to steady her as Emily slid her tongue over the sensitive area just at the back of the ring around his cock’s head. He moaned again, louder this time, when her teeth grazed lightly over him there.
She let him slowly glide from her mouth and then she turned to Gabriel. She found him already naked, and staring at her with hungry, smoldering desire in his blue eyes while his hand slowly stroked his erection. He was ready too, and Emily wanted to taste him just as much as she had Noah. She stepped forward and glided her palms over his chest, then leaned in to encircle his right nipple with her tongue.
Gabriel made an inarticulate sound of pleasure when Emily closed her lips and began to suckle him. She loved the texture of it in her mouth and she moved over to taste his other. It was flatter and broader than hers, and she marveled over the differences in their bodies. He ran his hands into her hair and held her to him, murmuring his encouragement as she teased and lightly bit the engorged nub.
“Harder, Em,” Gabriel rasped, and she applied more pressure as she tugged back a little, pulling on his nipple with her teeth. “Yes!” he gasped in approval. “Just like that.”
She moved over and tugged on his right nipple again, then she began to trail kisses over every dip and contour of his ripped abdomen. Emily sank to her knees, her hands gliding down his muscular thighs along the way, until she knelt directly in front of his fully, erect cock. He was so large, but not that much larger than Noah she realized, now that she really compared the two. Yet there was enough of a difference for her to feel it when he was inside her.
Gabriel clasped her head in his hands and waited until she leaned in before he helped guide her movements. She stared up into his eyes while she ran her tongue over the head, needing to have the connection with him so she could share in his pleasure. And as she took more of his length into her mouth, Emily understood why Gabriel had wanted to stare into her eyes when they’d made love earlier. With every motion, she watched his response to the pleasure register in his gaze, and it was a heady feeling to know that she was giving that to him. She and no other.
Emily sank back on her heels and let Gabe’s cock slip from her mouth, just as Noah moved closer to her. All she had to do was turn her head, and she could take him back into her mouth. And so she did. Emily clasped a hand around the base of his cock and then took him to the back of her throat.
“Oh, baby,” Noah breathed. “Don’t stop.”
Emily hummed and shook he
r head, and continued her tender massage. She used her free hand to slowly stroke Gabriel’s hardness, keeping him ready, but also giving him pleasure so he was a part of it all. Not left out while she concentrated on Noah.
When she pulled her lips away from him, she recaptured Gabriel’s cock. She remembered to let her jaw go lax and she felt him push in until he rested at the back of her throat. He held himself there and she swallowed so she wouldn’t get overwhelmed. The action made Gabe groan loudly and then he pulled himself out of her mouth.
Gabriel hooked his hands under her arms and lifted Emily in one swift motion until she stood between him and Noah, and then he bent to seal her lips with his. Gabe began to walk her backward until she felt Noah hook an arm under her knees and his other under her shoulders. Gabriel gently pushed her backwards and Emily fell into Noah’s strong hold. He lifted her and then placed her at the bed’s center.
Both men slid onto the mattress with her and descended on her body in the same instant. Emily ran her hands into Noah’s hair as he claimed her lips, kissing her deeply and stealing her breath. Gabriel trailed kisses over her nipples, stomach and lower still, but he skirted around her pussy and licked over the inside of her left thigh. He moved down, tracing her knee with his tongue and placed tender kisses down the length of her calf.
Emily moaned when he closed his lips against the inside of her ankle and sucked - hard. Her instinct was to jump, but Gabriel’s fingers encircled her leg and he held her steady as he teased her skin. Then he moved his tongue to the arch of her foot and Emily felt moisture flood her pussy. She cried out and Noah lifted his lips from hers so her sounds could be clearly heard.
“That’s right, baby. Let us hear you. Let us hear it all,” he praised and then swept lower to close his lips around her nipple.
Theirs To Claim (Predatory Desires Book 1) Page 20
