He stood and pulled her into his arms. Feeling numb, Amelia allowed the embrace. But when she felt him plant a soft kiss on her forehead, she pushed him away. Luke frowned for a moment before relenting. “Let’s go in and tell your family.”
Her heart thumped unpleasantly in her chest. Did they have to disrupt the festive evening? But delaying the inevitable was senseless. She took a deep breath and nodded.
Luke threw open the parlor doors and pulled her inside. “Excuse us, everyone, but I have an important announcement to make.”
Amelia wished she could match his wide smile, but all she could manage was a feeble imitation.
“Amelia has agreed to become my wife.”
Aunt Laura squealed and pushed away from the piano. “What wonderful news!” She clapped her hands. “And on Christmas Eve. The two of you will always remember the occasion of your engagement.”
Uncle Francis moved forward and slapped Luke on the back. “Well done, my boy. Well done. You’ve chosen a lovely bride and a good family.”
Benjamin echoed his father’s sentiments and enveloped Amelia in a brief hug. “You will make a handsome couple.”
When she emerged from his hug, Amelia glanced toward Jared. He wasn’t saying anything at all. Was his face pale? And what was the flicker of emotion she saw in his eyes before he looked down at the floor. Surely it had not been pain. What did he expect of her? To turn down Luke’s offer?
She could not do it. It was fine for Jared to seek a rebellious path—he was a man. She had to live within society’s strictures. Her parents had taught her that when they banished her to Knoxville. She was determined to be a dutiful daughter and please them. They had her best interests at heart. Besides, it was not like anyone else appeared interested. For all the men who visited her, Luke was the only one who had asked for her hand in marriage.
Amelia raised her chin and managed to form a slightly more enthusiastic smile. If a certain fastidious student thought she was making a mistake, she would prove him wrong. What did he know about such things, anyway? She would live her life as she thought best.
Her hand reached up to caress the brooch. She was free to make her own decisions.
A small voice whispered a warning in her mind. You also have the freedom to regret your decisions for the rest of your life.
Thirteen
Amelia stared at the silver tea service, her mind a long way from the chatter in her aunt’s parlor. A rustle of skirts brought her head up, and she smiled at Mrs. Downing. The lady and her daughter had become regular visitors to the Montgomery home, although there seemed to be little action on the Underground Railroad. Things had been quiet since the Christmas holidays. Perhaps the January weather was too harsh for runaways to attempt escape.
“You are looking lovelier than ever, Amelia.” Mrs. Downing leaned over and patted her hand. “Your betrothal to the handsome Lieutenant Talbot must be putting those roses in your cheeks.”
The ladies around her twittered as hot blood rushed to her face. They probably attributed the sight to maidenly modesty. How could they know the true reason behind her discomfiture? Ever since that night, Amelia had felt like a drowning victim. With each congratulatory or teasing remark, the weight of her feelings had dragged her under. She wanted to claw her way to freedom, to give back the sapphire ring on her hand and explain her mistake to Luke. He would understand, wouldn’t he?
As if her thoughts had conjured him, the door opened, and Luke stepped into the parlor. Her cousin was close behind him. In the two weeks since Christmas, Benjamin had begun spending most of his time with Luke. It was a development that disturbed her somewhat, but she could do very little about it. She wished Benjamin would spend more time with Jared. Not only were they of an age, she knew she could depend on Jared’s common sense to keep Benjamin from joining the fighting.
Luke bowed to Mrs. Montgomery before making a beeline toward Amelia. Just before he reached her, Amelia felt something slide under her hand. A note from Mrs. Downing could only mean one thing—the abolitionists needed her help. She slipped the paper behind the cushion of her chair and rose to meet Luke.
Mrs. Downing sighed and put a hand over her heart. “Ah, young love. How wonderful to see it in the midst of these dreary days.”
Luke smiled at the older lady before turning his dark gaze on Amelia. He was every inch the Southern gentleman, from his neatly trimmed mustache and side whiskers to the polish on his boots. He took her hand in his own and raised it to his lips. “I trust you are well, my dear.” He squeezed her fingers before letting them go, an indication of his happiness to see her.
Amelia knew her heart should be racing at the display of his affection, but it remained stubbornly calm. “It’s nice to see you, Luke.”
Behind him, Benjamin cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. “We have news.”
“What is it, dear?” Aunt Laura set her cup next to the serving tray.
“Well, you already know the army has taken over East Tennessee University and established a hospital there.”
Amelia nodded. Luke had kept them abreast of the activities at the university, and she had read a blistering article in The Voice of Reason, an underground newspaper Mrs. Downing had slipped to her just last week. She suspected Jared might have been the author. The article’s frank style and uncompromising position matched Jared’s personality and reminded her of the paper he had presented during the literary society meeting. She had wanted to quiz him about it, but with the exception of family meals, she had seen little of Jared since Christmas Eve.
She missed the sound of his voice and the way he pushed his spectacles up on his nose when he was thinking. He always listened to her opinions, often engaging in a lively debate.
It would be nice if Luke had time to discuss important issues with her, but he generally treated her like an empty-headed debutante. He was attentive, but if she tried to bring up a serious subject, he told her not to worry about such matters. Perhaps when the war was over, things would be different. They would have more time together, and Luke would pay proper attention to her ideas.
“Luke’s skills and knowledge have come to General Zollicoffer’s attention. The general is leading his brigade north into Kentucky, but he took time to give Luke here a promotion to captain, and”—Benjamin paused for effect—“the general has given our newest captain a special assignment.”
The ladies all crowded around Luke, each clamoring to congratulate him and find out about his new assignment. Amelia hung back. She was worried his promotion would mean he would soon be going into battle. It was bad enough when he was responsible for transporting wounded soldiers to Knoxville. That had been after the battles were fought. This new assignment probably meant he would be in the thick of the fighting. She might not be certain they would make the perfect couple, but she didn’t want him to become another casualty.
“The general has put me in charge of finding the traitors who work with runaway slaves. One in particular has been causing a large stir. We recently caught some of the renegades who know him only as the Mockingbird.”
Luke’s words made her jaw drop. Now her heart was thumping so loud and fast she felt light-headed. She had to get her emotions under control or risk being caught right here in Aunt Laura’s parlor.
“Aren’t you happy for your brave fiancé?” Benjamin sauntered toward her. His eyes lit on the brooch she often wore, the brooch Jared had given her for Christmas. “Well, look here, Luke. Maybe you should start your investigation with your betrothed.” He pointed to Amelia’s chest. “Perhaps my cousin is the culprit you seek.”
Shocked silence greeted his words. Everyone looked toward her and Benjamin. Amelia did the only thing she could think of. She laughed. It started out somewhat stilted, but the sound immediately eased the tension in the room.
Her cousin’s louder and more natural g
uffaws at his joke reassured the rest of the ladies, who joined in as they realized the improbability of his suggestion.
Aunt Laura shook her head at her son. “You should apologize to your cousin.”
“It’s quite all right.” Amelia was relieved everyone was laughing. It had been a close thing there for a moment. How disastrous it would have been to be unmasked in her aunt’s parlor, to be arrested by her own betrothed. She pushed the frightening thoughts back and smiled widely. “I don’t mind Benjamin’s attempt to bring some lightheartedness to us. We must all learn to take ourselves less seriously if we are to survive this war.”
Even as her face showed relaxed mirth, her heart beat a nervous staccato. Was this how her future with Luke would be—always hiding her true self? She longed to allow her heart to fly as free as those she helped escape slavery. . .but she despaired as a door clanged shut on the cage holding her heart.
❧
“What have you done?”
The commotion outside Jared’s bedroom broke his concentration. Was that Mrs. Montgomery’s voice? He had been answering the letter he’d just received from his parents, but he put down his pen and walked to the door. Then he hesitated with his hand on the knob. He didn’t know if he should interrupt or not. It might be a family problem, and no matter that the Montgomerys had opened their home to him, he was not a member of their family.
The voices had moved down the staircase. It sounded like someone was crying. Was it Amelia? Was she hurt? Chivalry filled his chest. He twisted the knob and strode to the head of the stairs.
The Montgomerys—all four of them—were standing in the foyer. Benjamin had his arms around his mother, who was the one weeping. “I am a grown man, and it’s about time you stopped treating me like a child.” His voice was angry, but he continued patting his mother’s back as if to comfort her.
In an instant, Jared grasped the situation. His friend was no longer wearing street clothes. He had donned the gray uniform of the Confederate army. He would be going to war. A stab of concern penetrated Jared’s heart. He wanted to add his protest to that of Benjamin’s family.
“If you had only come to me, son,” Mr. Montgomery’s voice was gravelly with pain, “I would have purchased an officer’s commission.”
“I can stand on my own two feet, Pa.”
“As a foot soldier, you’ll likely be used as cannon fodder.”
Mr. Montgomery’s grim pronouncement produced fresh wails from his wife. “Please stop him, Francis. You have to do something.”
Jared was about to retreat to his room to keep from intruding, but he must have made some noise because Amelia looked up. Her troubled blue gaze pierced him. She seemed to be pleading with him. But what could he say? No words could undo Benjamin’s actions. He had committed to serve the Confederate army. All they could do was pray for his safety.
“Perhaps Mr. Stuart can convince you.”
He pushed his spectacles up and took a deep breath before heading down the stairs. “I’m sorry, but I heard a commotion.”
Mrs. Montgomery pulled slightly away from her son’s shoulder and sent a wobbly smile toward Jared, her eyes red and puffy from her tears. “It’s okay, Jared. We consider you part of our family.”
“Yes.” Mr. Montgomery nodded his agreement. “I never thought I would say this, but I wish my son were as liberal as you. At least your parents don’t have to worry about your going off to fight.”
Jared wanted nothing more than to return to his room. He felt the same call to arms as his friend. It was hard not to. Most males between the age of fourteen and forty were needed to assure the South’s freedom. Freedom. How ironic that Southern leaders sought freedom to determine their own destinies, destinies that relied upon withholding freedom from their slaves.
Benjamin snorted. “You don’t have to drag Jared into this. It’s my decision. Besides, I probably won’t be gone for long. The officer at the recruiting station has a Bible verse on the wall behind him that reads, ‘Five of you shall chase an hundred, and an hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight.’ By this time next month, I’ll have whipped so many Yanks, they’ll be in full retreat.”
Mrs. Montgomery moaned and pulled a handkerchief from the sleeve of her dress.
The words were sheer bravado. The Confederacy could not claim victory based on the Lord’s promises to the Jewish people. Jared knew the South was badly outnumbered and had few resources to rely on. Their best hope was to inflict enough pain on the Union so President Lincoln would withdraw his troops and allow the secession to stand. It was a forlorn hope. Allowing the Union to split would make both sides weaker. The whole nation might disintegrate into dozens of independent countries. The vision of the Founding Fathers to create a cohesive power would be lost.
His lack of belief must have shown on Jared’s face. His friend turned away from him. “Fine. If you’re all against me, I’ll get my things together and leave.” He took a step back from his sniffling mother and pushed his way past Jared.
Amelia tossed an angry glance at Jared before leading her aunt away. What had he done? What did she expect of him? Did she want him to chain Benjamin to keep him here? She would do better to blame her betrothed. Luke Talbot had taken Benjamin under his wing in the weeks since the school closed. Her cousin’s decision to join the fighting was probably inevitable. No doubt Luke’s influence and success had hastened the event.
Perhaps she blamed Jared for not spending more time with Benjamin. It was true that he’d not spent much time with the Montgomery family since Christmas, but the fault for that lay at her door as much as his. He could not abide the thought of Luke and Amelia together, cooing like doves. So he found reasons either to be out of the house or to be closeted in his bedroom. He felt bad to lose the closeness that had developed between him and Amelia. Her insight and intelligence challenged him to think, but their budding relationship shattered when she chose to link her future to another man.
Mr. Montgomery clapped him on the shoulder. “I’d better go to the bank and buy some of those Confederate notes. Since my son has taken the bit between his teeth, I’ll need to make sure he has money for provisions.” The man walked away, looking as if he’d aged a decade since last night. His shoulders drooped, and his head hung down.
Jared’s heart hurt for him and for the whole Montgomery family. Thumping noises from over his head indicated Benjamin’s continued anger.
The door to the library beckoned him, offering a quiet interlude. His heart heavy, Jared sought out its peace and the wisdom he knew he could glean from reading God’s Word.
Fourteen
Amelia met Tabitha downstairs, her dark cloak pulled tightly about her. It was well past midnight, and the rest of the household was slumbering peacefully. The day had been eventful, starting with Luke’s promotion and her near exposure and ending with Benjamin’s decision to join up.
“I don’t know if I can leave you.” Tabitha’s wide eyes shone with tears.
Amelia hugged her and sniffed a little. “Don’t be silly. Think how wonderful it will be to control your own life. You are going to be free the way God intended you to be. You and Melek will settle down in Canada and start a family of your own. After the war is over, Luke and I will come visit you.” She handed Tabitha a small leather pouch. “This contains some money. It should help smooth your path and make sure you have something to get you started in your new life.”
Tabitha nodded and placed the pouch inside the meager bag that held her most precious belongings. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You can thank me by leading a happy life.” Amelia led the way to the door. She had memorized the instructions on the note Mrs. Downing had passed to her in the parlor. It had said to meet at the same location the lady had taken her to during the rally. The most perilous part of their journey would be avoiding Confederate patrols. They wer
e to approach the church on foot and give the call of a mockingbird. Then they would be met by Melek and his current group of escaped slaves. Tabitha would go with him, and Amelia would return home.
Amelia wished they could use horses for the trek across town, but they would be less detectable on foot. It would take them an hour to walk across town in the dark—their progress would be slowed by having to avoid patrols.
They made their way down the dark streets, barely daring to speak for fear of being caught. Amelia had to stop from time to time and study the map that had been included with Mrs. Downing’s instructions.
They were only a few blocks from the church when disaster struck. She turned a corner and nearly walked right into a mounted patrol. For a brief instant, she froze and her entire life seemed to flash in front of her eyes. Then Tabitha grabbed her elbow and pulled her into the recesses of a shadowy doorway. Amelia held her breath, trying to hear if they’d been seen. But neither of the men raised an alarm. They seemed to be half asleep as they walked their tired horses down the street, passing scant feet from where Tabitha and Amelia were hiding.
The two of them waited for several minutes before moving forward.
“That was close.” Tabitha’s whisper sounded loud in the quiet street.
Amelia placed a finger over her mouth and nodded. Then she gathered her courage and stepped out of the shadows, half expecting to hear a shout from one of the soldiers. No one, however, pursued them, and they made the rest of the trip without incident.
When Amelia recognized the rendezvous, she pointed it out to Tabitha. Then she tightened her lips and whistled.
After a moment, the hoot of an owl answered. A tall figure materialized out of the darkness. Melek.
They were safe. Tabitha fell into his arms with a cry of relief. Even in the dim light Amelia could see the tenderness on his dark face. It was a poignant moment for her—saying good-bye to her closest friend. But she could do no less. The hope they would see each other again in the future—on earth or definitely in heaven—would have to sustain her.
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