Taking a deep breath, he decided to be completely honest with her. With Maxi he didn’t know any other way. “I want you, Maxi. Although I know I shouldn’t, I do.” He looked down at her. “But I’m not interested in any long-term relationships. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
Maxi studied his features intently under the dim lighting overhead, then nodded slowly. “Yes.” She now understood what Mya had meant by cravings. She had been craving Christopher’s kisses for nearly three days now.
“Then what do you suggest we do?” he asked huskily.
She smiled up at him and he felt his gut clench in a thousand places. “Do you want to go to the cabin and talk about it?”
He wanted to go to the cabin, but talking was the last thing on his mind. “Yeah, let’s go to the cabin and talk.” Sliding his arm around her shoulder and tucking her under his arm he led them out of the dance club.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“What are we going to talk about?” Maxi asked the moment she walked into the cabin and watched Christopher closed the door behind them. Taking a deep, slow breath, she tried to calm her jitters as well as the abundance of desire racing through her.
Stepping away from the closed door, Christopher stood in front of her with both hands in the pockets of his pants staring at her. As much as he wanted to forgo talking of any kind he knew that wouldn’t be wise. He had to be sure he and Maxi were on the same page and that she wanted everything that he wanted tonight.
“We can talk about anything you want to talk about.” He glanced around the room. “Would you like to sit down for a while?”
“Yes.” Taking another deep breath she sat down in the loveseat in the room. He sat down next to her and placed his arms across the back of the sofa.
Maxi looked down nervously at her lap then back at him. “Well, what have you been doing the last few days?”
He didn’t respond for a few seconds then he answered. “Missing you.”
Maxi inhaled sharply, quickly glancing up at him. “Be serious, Christopher.”
He met her stare. “I am serious and I’m also being completely honest. I would deliberately leave before you got up in the mornings then would intentionally stay away until I knew it was past your bedtime. During all that time I missed being around you, talking to you, seeing you, and—”
“Then why did you do it?” she interrupted.
“Because like I told you, I don’t want to get involved with anyone, and I saw us on the verge of an involvement.”
“If you still feel that way, then why are we here now, Christopher? Why are we alone in this room?”
Suddenly Christopher didn’t know what he could tell her. How could he explain? “I really don’t know,” he finally said, feeling more unsure of himself where she was concerned than ever before. “All I know is that around you I look at things differently. I enjoy doing things that I normally don’t like. Hell, I’ve even eaten broccoli and I hate the stuff.” He frowned as he ran his gaze over her, taking time to analyze everything about her. “There’s something about you that makes me forget the cruelties of this world. You are so full of goodness, so kind, it’s a shame there aren’t more people like you. You don’t know the meaning of kicking someone to the curb. You’re a crusader of good and noble causes and definitely not the type of woman I’ve been messing around with for the past ten years. There’s not a self-centered bone in your body. Until I ran into you on this cruise, I was absolutely sure that a totally different type of woman appealed to me. You have proven me wrong. You’re making my life rather complicated, Maxine Chandler.”
She met his gaze and smiled warmly at all the compliments he’d given her, but noting the agitation in his voice. “I don’t mean to, Christopher.”
“I know you don’t and it’s not entirely your fault. The blame is mine for still letting you get next to me. And you do get next to me, Maxi. With you, old habits die hard. I can’t stand the thought of anyone wanting you but me or worse yet, anyone having you. I don’t want to care.”
Maxi took a deep breath as her heart hammered through her chest. She didn’t want to become involved with him any more than he wanted to become involved with her. “Then don’t care, Christopher. Let’s not do anything we may regret later. Let’s get out of here and go back to the Pinnacle Club. Tomorrow this ship will dock in Tampa and you’ll go your way and I’ll go mine, possibly never ever seeing each other again. Let’s remember our friendship, let’s cherish it but let’s not destroy it by becoming involved tonight. It will only complicate matters and I feel complicated enough. I’m dealing with a pretty heavy issue in my life right now and the last thing I need is anything to complicate matters furthers. We’re friends and we’ll always be friends. Let’s just keep it that way. Tonight, I thought I could go beyond mere friendship with you, but I was just fooling myself. I can’t because I’m not into casual affairs. I can’t sleep with a man just for the sake of doing so. It has to mean something more than assuaging overactive hormones.”
Christopher leaned toward her. For some reason he wasn’t surprised with her attitude toward sex in general. “What’s this heavy issue you’re dealing with?” he asked.
Feeling embarrassment spread up her back and neck, Maxi took her hand from him and looked away. Her medical condition was nothing a woman openly discussed with a man. “It’s personal, Christopher.”
Christopher was undaunted. “Whatever it is, it’s bothering you and that makes it my concern, Maxi. Is there anything that I can do?”
“You’ve already helped, Christopher. Spending time with you on this cruise has helped tremendously. Around you I can remember days when I didn’t have a worry in the world. They were days when my biggest challenge was acing one of Mrs. Potter’s pop quizzes. Now, I have so much to deal with but when I’m with you I put it to the back of my mind and not even think about it.”
He knew whatever it was, she was probably dealing with it alone. He had a feeling she wasn’t the type to unload her burdens on anyone. He took her hand back in his. “I’d known you practically most of my life, but in those six weeks during our senior year, we established a very special friendship, Maxi, more special than most people can establish in six years. Do you know why?”
She shook her head truly not knowing. They had worked hard together to make that science project a success but they had also gotten to know each other, respect each other and care for each other. “No.”
“Because without even knowing it, we cared something for each other and because we were honest with each other. I shared some things with you that I had never shared with another soul. You were someone I could talk to, unload myself on, and not feel I would be judged accordingly. You have that way with people.”
Maxi smiled. “And so do you. I enjoyed spending time with you. Just being around you was special. You’ll never know how much I would watch the clock waiting for you to show up at my house so we could get started on our science project. None of it was about me, but just being around you meant so much.”
Christopher shook his head, still finding it hard to believe that she’d actually cared something for him back then and had eagerly looked forward to their time together as much as he had.
“Then why are we holding back, giving less than one hundred percent now? I’m still a good listener if you want to talk about what’s bothering you. Like I told you a couple of days ago, I hadn’t really thought about you in around five years, only because I thought you were happily married to someone else. I had convinced myself you were somewhere happy, enjoying the things you’ve always wanted, a husband, a house full of kids, and—”
He stopped talking when he suddenly noticed the tears that immediately sprang into her eyes. “What is it, Maxi? What’s wrong? What did I say to upset you?”
Maxi tried pulling herself together but he had hit on the one thing she had always wanted out of life but now would never have. Children. “Please, let me have some time alone now. I—I need to be a
lone for a while.”
Christopher looked at her as she wiped the tears from her eyes and knew he would do as she asked although he didn’t want to. As much as he wanted to know what had gotten her upset, he would respect her right to the privacy she had requested of him.
He stood, crossed the room and walked out the door. The moment he had pulled it shut he heard her crying. It was a soft painful sob that touched him. In all the years he had known her, he had never seen her cry. Whatever was bothering her was hurting her down deep. Making a quick decision, he turned, pushed the door open and went back inside the cabin. She was still sitting in the same spot on the sofa with her face buried in her hands. He immediately crossed the room to her, sat down and gathered her into his arms. “It’s okay, Maxi. Whatever it is, it will be okay.”
“No, it won’t,” she said between sobs. “It won’t be okay.”
Christopher held her, helpless, not sure what he could do or say to calm her. “Tell me, Maxi. What is it? Maybe I can help.”
“You can’t.”
“I’m a good listener and sometimes talking helps.”
After a few brief moments Maxi’s sobs turned into light sniffles as she tried pulling herself together. Moving out of his arms, she hung her head, feeling the weight of everything on her shoulders. She had placed everything about the surgery in the back of her mind and now, as the cruise was coming to an end, it was there lurking in the background, reminding her of decisions she was going to have to make and soon. Christopher was right. Talking did help and she knew from past experience he was a person she could talk to. Men had a tendency to look at things differently from a woman. And maybe at the moment that’s what she needed.
“Although I have no reason not to believe I won’t eventually marry one day, Christopher, in a few months I’ll have to undergo surgery that will end any chances of me ever having children.”
Christopher frowned, not believing what he was hearing. He of all people knew how much having children meant to Maxi. That’s all she had talked about. Hell, she had even picked out names back then. Getting a college degree, getting married, and having a family had been her dream. It didn’t seem fair that his dream had come true but not hers. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’ve undergone several tests. Unless I have a baby before the surgery, then that’s it.”
He shook his head, still not fully understanding when the answer to her problem seemed perfectly clear to him. “Then have a baby before the surgery.”
She looked up at him and smiled…then shook her head. “Christopher, that’s not possible. I’m not involved with anyone and even if I was, I couldn’t ask a man to get me pregnant. What man would willingly give me his child? Men don’t exactly go out of their way to get women pregnant, you know.”
He nodded. He knew that was true when he inwardly examined his own situation. He made it a point to never have sex without wearing a condom since he had decided years ago never to father a child. His childhood had been a living hell and he refused to bring any child into the world to ever endure what he had gone through. His mother would never have earned a medal for displaying motherly affection. But a part of him knew if such a medal was given out, Maxi would. There was no doubt in his mind that she would make a child a perfect mother. Any man would be honored for her to be the mother of his child. Including him.
He sat up straight and his throat suddenly felt dry when he realized something. She was wrong. There was a way he could help. He had the ability to give her what she wanted. He breathed in deeply, knowing he needed to think this one through. But then he knew there was nothing to really think about. If Maxi wanted a baby then he would give her one, it would be that simple. Hadn’t she given him so much? Hadn’t he been successful in life because of her faith and belief that he could and would make something of himself? For years he had cared more for her than he’d cared for any woman, and he knew he would be fooling himself if he believed he didn’t still care something for her. When a man loved a woman for that long and that strong, it never completely died.
“I would, Maxi,” he finally said softly.
She arched a brow at him. “You would what?”
“I would give you a child.”
Maxi’s breath caught in her throat. “Why?”
He looked at her. “Because, I can’t think of any woman more deserving to be a mother than you. The child would feel loved, wanted, and protected. I never planned on having children but I’m willing to rethink that decision for you.”
Maxi was touched by his words. Truly touched. But she knew she couldn’t take what he was offering. “Thank you, Christopher, but I can’t let you do that.”
“Why?”
“Things could get complicated.”
“What’s so complicated about one friend helping out another? What’s so complicated about me giving you the gift of a child?” He sighed deeply. “I guess I don’t see the big deal here. What if you needed a kidney or a liver and I was able to give you one? You would take it wouldn’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
“There’s no buts, Maxi. To me it all boils down to the same thing. You want something that I’m able to give you.”
Maxi’s head began spinning. “I don’t know, Christopher, we’re talking about another life.”
“I know that, Maxi. It will be my gift of life to you. Like I said, I know of no other woman more deserving to be a mother, and I would feel honored if that child were mine.”
Maxi nodded, remembering a conversation the two of them had had years ago. Being illegitimate had been hard on him because some people never let him forget he’d been born a child no man had wanted to claim. “Would you want to play a major role in your child’s life?”
“No, but I don’t ever want a child I fathered to doubt how I felt about him.”
“And how would you feel, Christopher? You said earlier that you hadn’t ever planned on fathering a child,” she queried, trying to understand everything he was offering and making sure he understood it as well.
“Yes, and if it were any woman other than you, I still wouldn’t.” He looked at her for a long moment before saying calmly. “I think it’s important that you understand something, Maxi. I couldn’t help but love and want the child because we’re not talking about just any child, Maxi. We’re talking about a child that you and I would make together. It will be a child that will signify our very special friendship and our very unique bond. But the only relationship you and I will share is that of our child. No one has to know I’m the man who fathered your child. In fact I think it will be for the best if no one knew. What I told you earlier this week still holds true. Marriage is not in my future plans. I’m a loner and I plan on staying that way. I am not into relationships of any kind and that includes being a family man. However, I will provide financial support for any child I make.”
“Are you saying that you are willing to give me a child then just walk away, except for financial support?”
“Yes, that’s what I’m offering. Do you understand?”
Maxi slowly nodded, understanding completely. He was letting her know he was willing to give her the gift of his child, but that was as far as things went between them. His life was his own and he would still continue to have one, apart from her and his child, to do what he pleased and with whom he pleased.
“I would not hide the fact from my child or anyone that you are the father.”
“That will be your choice, Maxi.”
She nodded. “There’s a lot to think about and consider, Christopher.”
“Yes, but you don’t have to make a decision about anything tonight.” He stood. “You want a child and I’m willing to give you one. Promise you’ll at least think about my offer.”
Maxi met his gaze. She hesitated a moment before saying. “I promise.”
PART TWO
And forgive us our sins—for we have forgiven those who sinned against us…
—Luke 11:4
CHAPTER TWE
NTY-FOUR
“It’s so good to be home,” Garrett said, standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He and Mya had just put their sons to bed. Both Daniel and David had been overly anxious to tell their parents about all the fun they’d had while spending time at their grandparents’ home.
“Does that mean you didn’t enjoy the time we spent away together?” Mya asked smiling as she got into bed.
Garrett chuckled as he walked across the room, removed his robe and slid into bed beside her and pulling her into his arms. “No, that means I’m glad to be able to walk on steady legs for a change. And I did miss the boys, and Dallas has never looked better to me.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Although both of them had spent most of their childhood on the east coast, they had fallen in love with Texas. The two-story house they had built the year before the twins had been born was in the same upscale neighborhood where a number of other players lived. On occasion Garrett talked about moving farther out and buying a ranch with acres and acres of land and raising cattle when he retired from football.
“I think our time together on the cruise was special, don’t you?”
Mya thought about the time they had spent together. “Yes, it was special.”
She then thought of what Maxi had shared with them at breakfast on their last day on the cruise. Christopher had left the ship already so they hadn’t had a chance to talk to him to say their good-byes. “What do you think of Christopher’s offer to father Maxi’s child?”
Garrett shook his head. “Hell, I’m surprised. While on the ship, there was a moment when Christopher and I were hanging out together that I pulled out the boys’ photo and showed it to him. He mentioned then that because of his less than desirable childhood, he had no intentions of ever fathering a child. So for him to offer himself to Maxi like that comes as a shocker. Volunteering for stud service isn’t something a brother normally does.”
Perfect Timing Page 14
