by Nicole Baart
Kind of like water into wine. Life through death. Freedom from sacrifice.
I’m ready to go back. I want to see Thompson Hills swathed in white, a sleeping bride. Waiting. I want to taste the harvest of wine from the banquet of my summer. Most of all, I want to see Eli again. I need to know if he meant what he said—that I have a home. Maybe I’ll let him call me Abby.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder
that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
e. e. cummings
“i carry your heart with me”
Acknowledgments
A book is never a solo effort, and The Moment Between is no exception. I am indebted to my family, friends, acquaintances, and even complete strangers for your many contributions to this book and unyielding enthusiasm while I wrote it. Your generosity, thoughtfulness, encouragement, and sage advice continue to surprise and delight me.
Special thanks to Mom and Dad Baart as well as the entire Baart clan (Dan and Danielle Kampen and Adam and Jenine Baart) for introducing me to British Columbia’s unparalleled wine country, the Okanagan Valley. I have many fond memories of summer vacations on the lake, and I will never forget my first experience at a bona fide winery. It was love at first sip.
Early inspirations for this story owe their existence to many special people in my life, including Jamin and Kate Ver Velde, nouveaux wine connoisseurs and intrepid taste testers in our unofficial wine club. Also, my deepest gratitude to Mark and Miriam Buss for showing me the beauty and complexity of the relationship between winemaking and God.
Thank you to Roxy Harlow for teaching me much about life, love, and what it means to be a friend. Please be patient with me; I’m still learning.
New friends Francine Rivers and Lisa McKay proved invaluable as they helped me negotiate the sometimes-baffling publishing world. Thank you, Francine, for taking the time to advise and counsel me. You are as gracious, approachable, and kind as you are talented. And thank you, Lisa, for sharing the experience. I wish we could curl up with a cup of coffee and talk at least once a week. When’s the next conference?
I’m grateful to early readers Arlana Huyser, Kate Ver Velde, Tiffany Postma, and Susan Stanley for reading first-draft copies and giving honest feedback. Also to Dad, Mom, Amber, and Aaron for oohing and aahing in all the right places.
Expert advice on guns and everything gun-related came from Mike Halma. Though I couldn’t help but be intimidated by your uniform, I’m forever grateful that you were willing to let me hold, aim, and inspect your firearm. It wasn’t loaded, right? And thank you to Ronda Wells, MD, for answering all my gruesome autopsy questions. Other professional counsel came in the form of winery tours, most notably at Mission Hill and Tinhorn Creek in the Okanagan. The cellars alone at Mission Hill were worth the cost of the tour.
Writing a book with an agent was a new experience for me this time around, and now I find myself wondering how I managed before. Danielle Egan-Miller, Joanna MacKenzie, and Lauren Olson were worth their weight in gold. Thank you for your dedication to this book and your commitment to excellence. I hope I’ve done you proud.
To Karen Watson, Stephanie Broene, Lorie Popp, Babette Rea, Vicky Lynch, and Jessie McGrath, as well as the rest of the amazing team at Tyndale House: thanks. I am so grateful that you have given me the chance to do what I’ve always wanted to do. The way you make it all come together is pure magic.
My deepest appreciation to Todd Diakow for walking with me every step of the way. As always, this book has your fingerprints all over it.
Love and thanks to my family and friends . . . Mom and Dad, Andrew and Amber, Nick and Lisa, my Bible study girls, all the amazing men and women in our small group (past and present), as well as the new people I’ve met along the way and everyone else I’ve forgotten to mention. I love you all dearly, and I am blessed beyond measure to have you in my life.
Finally I am nothing without my boys. Aaron, Isaac, and Judah, you are my everything. I love you and I love what we have.
Lord, make my life an offering.
About the Author
Nicole Baart is the mother of five children from four different countries. The cofounder of a non-profit organization, One Body One Hope, she lives in a small town in Iowa. She is the author of eight novels. Visit her website and find her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
A Conversation with the Author
1. How did the idea for The Moment Between come to you?
This novel began nearly a decade ago when I was a naive, first-year teacher in a private school. I was barely equipped to handle routine questions pertaining to my subject matter and wholly unprepared to field inquiries when a young woman in our small community ended her own life. Of course, my students were devastated, and they had no template with which to frame the sort of sadness and horror they were suddenly experiencing. Since I didn’t know what to say, I let them talk. And slowly it came out that many of my students ardently believed that suicide was an unpardonable sin. They believed that this poor, tormented young woman was beyond forgiveness. For years, this knowledge rattled around in my heart, looking for an escape, a way to explain why I felt the way I did: that there is grace enough, even for this.
Somehow, nine years later these emotions and convictions began to find their way onto paper, and Abigail and Hailey were born. I almost feel like I can’t take credit from there on—the story just came together the way it so often magically does.
2. You chose a complex storytelling method, intertwining three time frames instead of telling the story chronologically. What inspired you to do it this way?
In order to truly understand who Abigail is and why she feels compelled to do the things she does, readers have to know her on many different levels. The first-person chapter intros give us a chance to get to know her very intimately. Abigail’s thoughts and emotions are laid bare in such a way that I hope readers can find points of connection with her. Then the present-day, third-person POV that leads off each chapter allows us to live Abigail’s life as it is happening. I think there is a real immediacy in these sections. And finally, as I was writing, I realized that it’s almost impossible to truly understand Abigail
without knowing about her past. She is shaped by her childhood and in particular by her relationships with the members of her family.
The weaving of these narratives made perfect sense to me. It never occurred to me to tell the story chronologically because I believe that there is a certain poetry in the way the past, present, and future are inextricably intertwined in all of our lives. I hoped to capture that in the unique telling of this story.
3. A good portion of the novel is set on a beautiful vineyard in British Columbia. What about this setting appealed to you, and why do you think Abigail is drawn back there at the end of the story?
When The Moment Between was still in its infancy, I knew that wine would play an important role in the storytelling. Originally I set the book in southern Spain, where I had spent a memorable vacation exploring Andalusia. But my writing partner suggested that maybe Abigail didn’t have to go quite so far to find what she was looking for. He recommended the Okanagan Valley, and since I had been there many times and was fond of the area, it turned out to be the perfect setting.
BC’s Thompson Okanagan is really an unparalleled place. The never-ending lake, the mountains, the orchards and vineyards, the sunshine—it’s amazing. I think it’s the ideal location for Abigail to find her home, to discover the place where her soul can finally rest. The whole concept of terroir, the idea that where you are matters much, definitely plays into Abigail’s return to the place that feels like the home she never had.
4. Abigail’s family dynamics play an important part in the story,
and you present two very different father figures for her in Lou’s and Eli’s characters. What was your inspiration for that?
I have always struggled with the biblical story of Jacob and Esau, and I cringe at the passage in Romans that reads, “Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.” The whole concept of the older son serving the younger, of one child being blessed while the other is left with nothing but scraps, rattles me. The comparison between The Moment Between and this biblical story is thin to say the least, but I think the emotions behind it are the same. Abigail feels unloved. And so she finds herself compelled to do things that she would normally never do—out of a feeling of obligation and commitment to her sister but also because she longs for the love and approval of her father.
Eli came into the picture because I deeply cared for the character of Abigail, and I couldn’t let her live forever without the love and acceptance of someone who saw her for who she truly was. She needed to experience a relationship that was not shaped by the presence of Hailey. I just adore Eli, and I love what he was able to do for Abigail.
5. Both Hailey and Melody were devout Catholics, and you’ve included a lot of Catholic imagery throughout the book. Is that your background?
I am not Catholic by background, but there is something about the liturgy and beauty of high church that has always appealed to me. I can’t help thinking that many churches (including the one I attend) have downplayed and even sanitized the expression of our faith by eliminating the sensual nature of worship. Of course, by sensual I don’t mean sexy. I mean we’ve done away with many of the expressions of worship that engage all of our senses—the candles, the incense, the icons, the liturgy. . . . And in their place we’ve put modern choruses and coffee breaks. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a pastor and I love our church. But in dreaming up the character of Hailey, I knew that she would never respond to the sort of contemporary, evangelical Christian church that I go to. She needed the tangible and yet almost-mystical reminders of the presence of God that the Catholic church can offer.
6. Your portrayal of mental illness in this book is so realistic, so tender, yet so heartbreaking. How did you research this?
First of all, I read every article, journal, and scrap of information that I could find on bipolar disorder. I found it incredibly interesting that even after all this time the disorder is still very much an enigma. Shortly after I finished the manuscript, Newsweek printed a cover story on bipolar disorder and I felt that it summarized my own observations: the scope and range of the disorder is sweeping and varied. Hailey represents just one small portion of the spectrum.
Also, although mental illness is not something that I have personally experienced, there are many people in my life who struggle with different forms of psychological, behavioral, or emotional disorders. I’m hardly an expert, but I feel like these sorts of issues are reaching epidemic proportions in our world today. It seems like every family deals with the pain of watching someone they love suffer through depression, ADHD, social anxiety, alcoholism, addiction—you name it. And though we say that these sorts of illnesses are no different from an accepted chronic physical illness, I do think there is still an unfair stigma associated with mental illness.
I suppose that my research for The Moment Between was also conducted in the relationships I have with people I love dearly. In loving them and experiencing the ache of helplessness when I realized that there was nothing I could do to fix what was wrong, I learned much about my role as a friend.
Discussion Questions
1. “Abigail Bennett was the definition of unexpected.” Explain. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why? How does Abigail change throughout the book? What is the impetus for that change?
2. Hailey’s mental illness affects everyone around her. What sort of emotions does Hailey evoke in you? Do you like her or dislike her? Do you have compassion for her or does she frustrate you? Explain.
3. How is Abigail shaped by her youth? What role does Lou play in her life? What role does Melody play in her life? What about Hailey?
4. Abigail calls herself a “lapsed Catholic.” Why do you think she has allowed her faith to lapse? Hailey, on the other hand, seems to cling to her faith. Why is her belief system so important to her?
5. Why is Abigail so driven to atone for her sister’s death? Do you understand her motivations? Why or why not? Why does she blame Tyler? Do you agree with her assessment of Tyler’s guilt?
6. Though she doesn’t claim to be a Christian, until she finds herself obsessed with Tyler, Abigail lives an exemplary, by-the-book life. Hailey, on the other hand, is a Christian, but there seems to be a disconnect between Hailey’s faith and her lifestyle choices. What does this seem to say about faith and actions? Do you agree or disagree? Why?
7. What does Eli mean when he asks Abigail, “What if your life is an offering poured out in a single glass?” Do you agree or disagree with his assessment of Abigail’s role in Hailey’s death?
8. In the final chapter, Abigail says, “If home is where the heart is, my heart has been homeless for a very long time.” And earlier in the book we learn that “her heart existed in many more places than simply the cage behind her arching rib bones.” What does she mean by that? Was there ever a time in your life when you could relate to these statements?
9. The symbol of communion is used repeatedly throughout the book in both obvious and subtle ways. Locate several references to the sacrament of communion. What purpose does this symbol serve?
10. Throughout history and even today there are many religious groups that consider suicide to be an unpardonable sin. In fact, some churches won’t even allow victims of suicide to be buried in the same cemetery as people who die of natural causes. Do you agree or disagree with this conviction? Why or why not?
11. Near the end of the book, Abigail narrates, “Hailey’s death, like her life, is an unfathomable mix of brokenness. And, I think, grace.” What does she mean by this? Do you agree that Hailey’s life is a mix of brokenness and grace? Use specific examples from the book.
12. In the final paragraphs of the book, Abigail talks about the irony of snow in the Summerlands. What other ironies can you pick out as you look back over the book? What metaphors stand out to you? What symbols do you find meaningful?
Read on for an excerpt from Nicole Baart’s next book...
Little Broken Things
Available now!
An engrossing and suspenseful novel for fans of Liane Moriarty and Amy Hatvany about an affluent suburban family whose carefully constructed facade starts to come apart with the unexpected arrival of an endangered young girl.
"I have something for you." When Quinn Cruz receives that cryptic text message from her older sister Nora, she doesn’t think much of it. They haven’t seen each other in nearly a year and thanks to Nora’s fierce aloofness, their relationship consists mostly of infrequent phone calls and an occasional email or text. But when a haunted Nora shows up at the lake near Quinn's house just hours later, a chain reaction is set into motion that will change both of their lives forever.
Nora’s “something” is more shocking than Quinn could have ever imagined: a little girl, cowering, wide-eyed, and tight-lipped. Nora hands her over to Quinn with instructions to keep her safe, and not to utter a word about the child to anyone, especially not their buttoned-up mother who seems determined to pretend everything is perfect. But before Quinn can ask even one of the million questions swirling around her head, Nora disappears, and Quinn finds herself the unlikely caretaker of a girl introduced simply as Lucy.
While Quinn struggles to honor her sister’s desperate request and care for the lost, scared Lucy, she fears that Nora may have gotten involved in something way over her head—something that will threaten them all. But Quinn’s worries are nothing compared to the firestorm that Nora is facing. It’s a matter of life and death, of family and freedom, and ultimately, about the lengths a woman will go to protect the ones she loves.
&
nbsp; Praise for Little Broken Things
“Baart’s novel of familial ties, betrayals, and long- overdue confrontations ventures into the territory of Paula Hawkins, Mary Kubica, and Kimberly Belle. Baart’s pacing keeps the novel driving forward, while a core group of narrators offers different perspectives on the murky facts of Lucy’s upbringing. Full of twists and turns, this is a great addition to the recent surge in suspenseful domestic fiction.” –Booklist
“The mesmerizing story line is rife with mystery regarding Lucy’s parentage and the reasons for the strained relationships between Quinn, Liz, and Nora. This is an accomplished exploration of the fragile bonds of a family as they attempt to overcome obstacles they never saw coming.” –Publisher’s Weekly
“Part psychological thriller, part women’s fiction, Baart’s latest novel is wholly compelling...smartly exquisite prose and her setting of a scene, not so much physically as mentally, allows readers to relate personally to these three women and to embrace the little girl in their care. The intricacies of family relationships, love and friendship are all skillfully explored, layered in all the right places and captivating in its entirety.” –RT Book Reviews 4 ½ stars Top Pick
“If you liked Big Little Lies, you’ll want to crack open this new novel by Nicole Baart, which will be released in November—just in time for your Thanksgiving holiday reading. This novel will engross you in the suspenseful story of Quinn Cruz; her estranged and troubled sister, Nora; and a mysterious little girl named Lucy who shows up on her doorstep.” –Southern Living Magazine
