by Price, Sarah
The door to the house opened and Anna stepped outside, Isadora running out behind her. Her little feet, devoid of shoes, ran as fast as they could to Amanda.
Kneeling down, Amanda opened her arms and welcomed her stepdaughter into a warm embrace. The scent of lavender drifted to Amanda’s nose and she smiled. Isadora’s little arms around her neck clung tightly, as if Amanda might disappear if she let go.
“Mammi ’Manda!” Isadora cried out, still clinging to her.
“Izzie! How much I have missed you!” Carefully, she peeled Isadora’s arms away from her neck and held her hands. “You look so big! You must have grown almost as tall as Jonas!”
Isadora giggled at Amanda’s teasing and jumped into her arms once again.
“Now, let’s greet your papi, ja? He’s eager to see you, too.” Amanda wasn’t certain if eager was the correct word. Apprehensive might have been more appropriate. But she wanted this to be a positive visit. She stood up and, holding Isadora’s hand, walked back toward the car.
Alejandro stood outside of their rented car, his sunglasses hiding his eyes. During the past four weeks, Alejandro had not once inquired about Isadora unless Amanda mentioned that she’d spoken with her or Anna. Only then did he ask about her well-being. Amanda continually noted the lack of enthusiasm whenever her name was mentioned.
Now, as Amanda approached him with their daughter, she felt anxious. How would he react to her? While she knew that it was unrealistic to expect a warm reception from him, Amanda hoped there was some melting of the icy feelings he displayed toward her—especially now that Amanda had reassured him that, no matter what, he still came first in her life.
“Izzie, say hello to your papi,” Amanda coaxed.
The child looked at him, her eyes taking in his larger-than-life frame, and then she moved behind Amanda’s legs.
He appeared completely out of his comfort zone. For a moment, Amanda felt a wave of sympathy for him. He hadn’t asked for the responsibility of this child. But then she reminded herself, as Stedman had told her, it took two to tango. Alejandro was Isadora’s father and he had agreed to take over her care. Amanda tucked any inkling of sympathy for him into the back of her mind.
Knowing that Alejandro had brought her to Lititz only because she wanted to see Isadora and her family, she tried to be understanding. But it was also high time he stepped up to his role as the child’s father.
“Go on now, Izzie,” Amanda said. “Give your papi a hug, ja?” Amanda gently guided Isadora toward Alejandro.
To his credit, he knelt down before the child and removed his sunglasses, leveling his gaze at her. Amanda could tell that he was struggling, trying to figure out how to talk with the girl. This remarkable man who had risen from the streets of Miami to international stardom, this man who could walk into a room and, without saying a word, capture everyone’s attention and respect, was brought to his knees when it came to his child. It struck Amanda as an unfortunate situation, but she was proud that he was at least attempting to make a connection.
“You are doing well, sí?” he asked at last.
Isadora stood before him, one hand on his knee and the other behind her back. She swung her hips a little so that her skirt moved, just a touch. Just as Alejandro struggled, Amanda suspected Isadora was also nervous. This man who she had only heard about for the first five years of her life, and then finally met under the worst of circumstances, was larger than life. If he took away Amanda’s breath with his charisma and presence, surely he intimidated Isadora.
Amanda knelt down behind Isadora and placed her hands on her stepdaughter’s hips. With Amanda behind her, Isadora appeared to feel more confident and she nodded her head.
“What’s this I’ve heard about an orange kitten?”
Amanda smiled at him over Isadora’s head. The question was just the right thing to ask. Immediately, Isadora became animated and began telling Alejandro about her kitten. Within seconds, she grabbed Amanda’s hand and pulled her toward the outbuilding. Amanda paused to reach for Alejandro’s hand, and while he still looked uncomfortable, he followed them as they searched for the object of Isadora’s affection.
It was asleep on top of a pile of hay bales, its tail hanging over the side as it lay on its back, one paw over its ear. Isadora climbed up the stack of hay and pulled the kitten onto her lap. It had grown over the past five weeks and was no longer small and meek. Instead, it was gangly and much more confident about being held on Isadora’s lap.
Alejandro reached out and scratched at the kitten’s ear. “She’s a nice kitten, sí?”
Isadora smiled at him. “Ja!”
He raised one eyebrow in a perfect arch and looked at Amanda.
“Oh, I imagine you found a right gut name for her!” Amanda said, ignoring Alejandro’s unspoken question about his daughter using Pennsylvania Dutch.
“Katie,” Isadora responded. “Her name is Katie.”
Amanda smiled. “Clever girl!” When Alejandro questioned her with his eyes, Amanda explained, “Kitten in Dutch is katje. Now she has a Katie Cat.”
He didn’t seem as impressed as Amanda was, but he nodded his head regardless.
“Well, she’s a nice kitten, Isadora,” he said and then, his interest in the cat and his child maxed out, he took a deep breath and looked around. “You should visit with your family, Amanda. I need to make a few phone calls.”
Isadora sat on the hay bale, the kitten draped over her lap, and looked up at the two of them. She didn’t seem disturbed by her father changing the subject from the kitten to work. Instead, she set the kitten beside her and jumped down. Reaching for Amanda’s hand, she waited patiently to walk beside her toward the house, her bare feet padding across the driveway without any attention to loose rocks or gravel.
Inside the house, Amanda took a moment to greet her sister, mother, and father. Her father seemed thinner than when she had left and his eyes looked dull. Amanda wanted to ask her mother about how he was doing, but she knew better than to say anything about his condition in front of him. Instead, she sat down in the chair next to her father’s wheelchair and opened her arms for Isadora to climb onto her lap.
“Oh, it’s right gut to be home!” Amanda gushed. “Mamm, Daed, the things I have seen! Why, I don’t think I could explain them if I had two lifetimes to live!”
Her sister pulled over a kitchen chair and sat next to her. Her stomach protruded, and to Amanda, she looked as if she were ready to give birth, although Anna still had three months left. “It sure does sound”—Anna searched for the appropriate word—“interesting.”
“In England, they drive their cars on the wrong side of the road! Can you imagine? And they have castles that are older than this country and decorated so beautifully. It just is something you can’t even imagine exists until you see it.”
Anna leaned forward. “Castles?”
Amanda nodded. “Just magnificent buildings, Anna. Just like those books we used to sneak-read at the doctor’s office!”
Anna laughed and Lizzie gave them a disapproving look. “You two thought I didn’t know you read those books, but I did!”
“Only they aren’t white castles, Anna, but made of big, huge stones. It’s a wonder any man could move those stones, especially the ones high up on the walls and towers.”
Isadora leaned her head back onto Amanda’s shoulder. “Princesses?”
Now it was Amanda’s turn to laugh. “Nee, Izzie. No princesses in these castles.”
The little girl thought for a moment and then said, “You were there. You are a princess. Papi said so.”
The color rose to her cheeks and Amanda gave her a warm hug. “Clever girl,” she said for the second time in less than an hour. “Your papi just calls me that, Izzie. I’m not any more a princess than you are a horse!”
After giggling at Amanda’s comment, Isadora reached up and stroked Amanda’s cheek. “Tell more, Mammi ’Manda,” she insisted.
“Well, let’s see,” Amanda said th
oughtfully. “We spent three weeks in England and then flew to Los Angeles.” She glanced at her sister. “That’s California. And last week we were in Paris, France.”
“Where is that?” Anna asked.
“Europe. It’s beautiful with old buildings and large churches. My friend Celinda was there, and we were able to visit some places together. The Notre-Dame Cathedral. Oh, it was just overwhelming how beautiful it is.”
Lizzie frowned. “Is that safe, Amanda? Wandering around these strange places?”
She laughed. “Of course it is, Mamm! It’s a different country but still civilized! Besides, Alejandro sends us with security. He’d never let anything happen to us.” She ignored the look her mother gave her at that comment. “When we leave here, we’ll visit Prague and Zürich. Oh, and Vienna!”
Lizzie clucked her tongue and shook her head. “Such travel you do, Amanda! It can’t be good to move from one place to another so much.”
Amanda wrapped her arms around Isadora and held her close to her chest. “Now, Mamm! The only bad thing about it is that this little one cannot be with us.”
“Why not, Mammi?”
Amanda hugged her tighter. “I told you before: you couldn’t bring your Katie Cat with you. She’d miss you so much, and I think you would miss her, too.”
“Oh ja!” Isadora said. “I forgot.”
Amanda smiled and kissed the top of Isadora’s head. “I’m impressed with how much she is speaking,” she said, directing the comment to her sister. “You must really be working with her, ja?”
“Nonstop,” Lizzie answered for Anna. “Both of us. In fact, we have Isadora reading to Elias twice a day. Don’t we now, Elias?” She leaned over and placed her hand on Elias’s arm. “You like hearing Isadora read, don’t you?”
“Reading!” Amanda repeated the word. “Why, that’s wunderbar! Izzie, what are you reading to Elias?”
Without being asked to, Isadora jumped down from Amanda’s lap and ran across the floor toward a basket with some toys in it. She pulled out a picture book and carried it back to Amanda. “I read to you,” she said, leaning against her leg with the book placed on Amanda’s lap. Immediately, Amanda recognized the book. It was one that she used to read to her brother, Aaron: a simple ABC book with different pictures of animals and objects associated with each letter of the alphabet.
“Apple . . . Ant . . .” Isadora pointed to each object as she said the word. She looked up at Amanda as if seeking approval and expecting something from her.
“That’s very good.” Amanda smiled and pointed to the apple. “What color is the apple?”
“Red!”
Amanda laughed at her enthusiastic reply. It was a game that Amanda and Anna had played with Aaron when he was just a little younger than Isadora. Because he had grown up speaking Pennsylvania Dutch, it was an easy way to help him learn English before he went to school. Each item was pointed to and then questions were asked in order to expand Aaron’s vocabulary and sentence structure. Clearly, Anna and Lizzie played the same game with Isadora.
“What does the ant want?” Amanda asked.
“Food!”
“That’s correct. It wants your food!”
Isadora took back the book and walked over to Elias. She crawled onto his lap and leaned her back against his chest. She began to do the same reading exercise, but this time, she played it with Elias.
“Butterfly . . . Butter . . . Barn . . . ,” she said as she pointed to each item. “What color is the butterfly?” she asked Elias and, after waiting for a few long, silent seconds, she nodded her head. “Ja, it is blue.”
Amanda glanced at Anna, who merely watched the little girl reading to Elias, love in her eyes. Despite how painful it was for Amanda to be apart from Isadora, watching her interactions with the rest of her family made it obvious that the decision had been the right one.
After they’d listened to Isadora read to Elias for fifteen minutes, Lizzie brought over glasses of lemonade. “Anna said you are only staying two days, ja?”
Amanda accepted the lemonade. “Danke, Mamm. Ja, just two days. We have a fund-raiser in New York and then fly to Prague on Friday morning.”
“I see.” There was a distant and disappointed look in her mother’s face. Over the few weeks Amanda had been away, her mother looked as if she had aged ten years.
“What’s wrong, Mamm?” she asked, leaning forward to touch her mother’s leg. “Tell me. Please.”
When Lizzie did not respond, Anna answered for their mother. “It hasn’t rained in a while. The crops aren’t growing properly,” she said in a somber voice. Then, after a brief hesitation, she whispered, “And Daed isn’t doing so well.”
Amanda glanced over at her father. He did look gaunt—she had noticed that right away. But now as she looked closely at him, she saw his sunken eyes and pronounced cheekbones. His arms seemed weak, resting meekly on the arms of the wheelchair, and he stared at nothing, his eyes devoid of any spark that resembled his former self.
Amanda looked back at her sister. “Is Daed getting fresh air?”
Anna shook her head. “He barely eats and doesn’t want to go outside at all.”
That was not like her father. Even when he suffered the stroke, Elias still wanted to be outdoors. “Does he go outside with Jonas and Harvey when they milk?”
Silence. Anna exchanged a look with Lizzie, a silent conversation exchanged between them.
“What is it?” Amanda asked. Neither one of them spoke. “Mamm? Tell me.”
Amanda waited for their response, knowing that whatever they had kept from her was too painful for words. And it certainly did not bode well for the family.
With a deep sigh, Anna’s shoulders drooped as she finally admitted the truth. “Harvey no longer works here.”
Amanda tried to catch herself before reacting to the news. Harvey no longer worked at the farm? Surely that meant that Jonas was doing all of the work by himself, a merciless feat that Elias had tried to perform on his own after Aaron passed away. Despite her father’s insistence that he could do it, Amanda finally had stepped in to help. Now, without Elias’s help and with Anna pregnant, it was no wonder everyone looked tired and drawn. Between milking cows, growing crops, and tending to the animals—never mind the regular house chores—it was too much for them to manage.
The realization that her mother and sister had kept this from her on purpose made her wonder about the circumstances surrounding Harvey’s absence. “When did this happen?”
“Shortly after you left,” Lizzie said as Anna looked at the floor, avoiding eye contact with Amanda.
She didn’t need to ask the question to know the answer. Without doubt, Harvey’s departure from the farm had not been voluntary. Whether it was a result of the tabloids gossiping about the relationship between her and Harvey or because Alejandro wanted the man gone, Amanda did not know. She wasn’t certain she wanted to find out, either. Then she remembered Stedman, and how he’d been fired as her dance instructor from the South American tour when Alejandro thought he was becoming too friendly with her.
“I see.”
Neither Anna nor Lizzie commented further, and Amanda did not press them. She knew that she would have to confront Alejandro—surely he knew the truth—but she did not want to do so until a more appropriate time. This was not that time.
Isadora leaned on Anna’s leg and looked up at her with big eyes. “Tell Mammi ’Manda about the cookies!” she insisted.
Anna laughed and gave Isadora a quick hug. “Oh, ja! The cookie frolic on Wednesday! Mayhaps she will come with us!”
“A cookie frolic?” Oh, the memories that came back to her at the mere mention of a cookie frolic! Amanda smiled to herself, despite the pangs of homesickness. How she missed the fun gatherings, kitchens filled with laughing women and hungry children, all the while delicious food was being cooked in the oven. “For who?”
“For the people who lost their homes in the wildfires out in California,” Anna said. �
�The Mennonites are having an auction next weekend. It’s a shame you’ll miss that. They’re always so much fun.”
Amanda sighed. “We’ll be leaving for New York City on Wednesday. I would have loved to go to the frolic.”
Isadora made a sad face, but Anna shrugged her shoulders. “Mayhaps next time.”
But Amanda suspected that there would be no next time. She had signed that contract with Alejandro, so now she was committed to helping him when he traveled. And judging by the last six months, travel was all that Alejandro would do in the near future. She knew his schedule for the next few months was nothing more than a string of hotel stays and concerts with some meetings and photo shoots thrown in. He recorded his new songs in hotels and conducted most of his business with Geoffrey and the rest of his entourage from his private plane and buses. She would be beside him with no time to fly home to Lancaster to visit with her family or attend cookie frolics to help those in need.
And, of course, Isadora staying in Lancaster was still an issue. What had been a temporary solution could not be a permanent one. Yet Alejandro and Amanda had not discussed how to fit his daughter into their lives. While Amanda originally disapproved of having a nanny take care of Isadora, she was beginning to realize that a nanny was the only way to keep Isadora with them. Despite how well the child was flourishing under the care of Anna, Amanda was having doubts. Not only did she miss her stepdaughter, she knew that Isadora needed to have a relationship with her father and that meant a life on the road. Other children adapted, she reminded herself, as she tried to convince herself that it was in Isadora’s best interest, not just her own.
Frustrated, she abruptly stood up and made her apologies. “I best go take a nap,” she said. “The flight was long, and I’m starting to feel poorly.”
To her delight, Isadora insisted on coming with her, sliding her hand into Amanda’s. But the gesture made Amanda feel even unhappier with the situation at large. Seeing Isadora and watching her read to her stepgrandfather made Amanda long to be a part of the child’s life. She would miss so much if Isadora did not travel with them—but she feared what Isadora would miss if she did.
