Goodbye Forever

by Bonnie Hearn Hill

  They walked into chaos. Voices rose as the kids helped themselves to cookies and mugs of coffee from the battered pot on the wood stove. Angel, still wearing her brown jacket, so tight Kit wondered if she had obtained it the way she had Kit’s boots, picked up a dart and sailed it into Weaver’s photo.

  Wyatt stood in the front of the room, as dark as Lucas was blond and as exaggerated as Lucas was understated. He hadn’t bothered brushing his long, curly hair from his eyes, and he wore his newfound confidence the way he wore the scars on his neck.

  ‘I almost died in that cage,’ he said to the others, shoving his fingers against the scars. ‘This is what the Weasel did to me. He needs to pay.’

  ‘I agree,’ Lucas said. In the light blue of his eyes, Kit couldn’t see anything close to reason. ‘Tell everyone what he did to you, Ike.’

  ‘You know.’ Ike glared back, his lips tight.

  ‘Ruined your life, didn’t he? Convinced your father you we’re too damaged for the future in law enforcement he’d planned for you.’

  ‘I’m not damaged, Lucas.’

  ‘Just your garden-variety psychopath, right?’

  ‘Weasel said sociopath, probably because he got more money to observe me. That’s what he really wanted. To observe and control. When you told us that we didn’t have to be controlled, that we could fight back, everything changed.’

  ‘Except we were kids, Ike,’ he said, his voice rising. ‘We couldn’t really fight back, not until now.’

  Kit could feel the pressure in the room swell like a balloon ready to burst. Lucas, who had orchestrated it, clearly felt it too.

  ‘Weasel treated Sissy and some of the others with drugs,’ he said, unable to hide his pleasure. ‘I wonder how he’d like to be treated with drugs.’

  ‘He chained me up for biting him,’ Angel said. ‘I screamed, but no one could hear me out there. I wonder how he’d feel if he had to scream all night, chained to a tree.’

  ‘Katherine?’ Lucas pointed at her, and she moved closer to Ike. ‘What do you think ought to happen to him?’ He picked up a dart. ‘Where do you think this should go?’

  ‘I didn’t know him, but from what you said, he sounds like a monster.’ That was no lie. She walked to the front of the room and stood to Lucas’s right side. ‘I would bury that dart, though. You are all finally free. Who cares what happens to that pathetic little man now?’

  ‘He stole our childhood,’ Wyatt said from the other side of Lucas. ‘He stole something we won’t ever get back, no matter how far away we run.’

  ‘Very good, Wyatt.’ Lucas beamed and handed him the dart. ‘Where would you bury this?’

  A grin spread across Wyatt’s face. ‘First, I’d want him naked, chained up to one of those fucking trees maybe. Sorry, Lucas.’

  ‘Just tell it, Wyatt. What next?’

  Then I’d want all of us to come up and tell him what he did to us, and then throw a dart where he’ll feel it the most.’

  Lucas was sicker than she had imagined. He had engineered this conversation as carefully as he had the stacks of shells on the counter.

  ‘Do you have a problem with retribution, Katherine?’ Lucas asked softly. She had no idea he had been studying her so carefully.

  ‘You could get caught,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you just try to forget about him and move ahead with your lives?’

  ‘The way Sissy did?’ Lucas shook his head, and she could see him trying to conjure sadness. Every emotion he expressed seemed like a step in a dance. ‘The longer we are together here, the clearer it is to me – to all of us – that we can’t leave the Weasel’s camp behind us until that camp is no more.’

  ‘Can you imagine the danger involved in what you have in mind?’ Kit asked him. ‘Do you really want to subject everyone you claim to care about to that?’

  ‘We’re not helpless children this time,’ he told her. ‘How many kids do you think he’s destroyed since he practiced on us those first times? He’s probably really good at it by now. Probably breaks them way faster, with much less of a struggle.’

  ‘Do you really think destroying his camp will set you free?’ Kit asked him. ‘What will you do next? Spend the rest of your lives in this place?’

  ‘That was never the intent.’ Lucas munched on a cookie as if in no hurry to convince anyone. ‘This was our place to help each other get over what that monster did to us, a place where we wouldn’t be judged and forced to conform to what some real sicko thought we should be.’

  Kit glanced at the door and saw it was cracked and that light shone on the shadow of the dark rug. A slight figure stood just outside, listening.

  ‘Who’s there?’ Kit called out.

  The front door swung the rest of the way open. Cold air rushed in, followed by Sissy, wide-eyed and with a disoriented smile. She ran her fingers up and down in the air as if playing an invisible musical instrument.

  ‘Let’s get him,’ she said, and everyone cheered. Everyone except Ike, who glanced over at Kit. Everyone except Jessica, who ran to Sissy’s side, just as she collapsed to the floor.

  Lucas looked stunned, and Kit wasn’t sure whether or not it was an act. ‘She’s just one more reason,’ he said. ‘Just one more reason we have to stop him. Isn’t that right, Wyatt?’

  ‘Right, Lucas. Let’s stop him.’

  But Ike was as stunned as the rest of them, as they all moved to where Sissy sobbed on the floor.

  Jessica knelt down, saying over and over, ‘It will be all right.’

  Kit could tell that everyone in the room knew it would never be.

  ‘I suggest we leave first thing in the morning,’ Lucas said.

  ‘But all you have is that truck.’ Everyone, even Ike, turned to look at Kit. ‘Well, isn’t it?’ she asked.

  Lucas took another bite of his cookie. ‘There’s a camper shell,’ he said.

  ‘And you think that truck – camper shell or not – is going to take you all the way to the Weasel’s camp?’

  ‘Us.’ Lucas gave her a smile that chilled her. ‘It’s going to take us. No one – including you – is staying behind on this trip.’

  TWENTY-SIX

  All together again. Ever since Ike heard Lucas say that yesterday morning when Angel walked into their compound, he couldn’t get it out of his head. All the Originals, the First Years, he meant – Angel, Wyatt, Theo, Sissy, Jessica, and Lucas, of course. They were the first ones who agreed to keep the Weasel from breaking them the way he did the other kids at the camp. Sure, Lucas returned the next year and found others, but the Originals – the First Years – they were the ones who mattered.

  When it came down to it that morning, Lucas decided they should leave everyone but the First Years behind to protect the compound while they went off to settle the score with the Weasel. For a moment, standing in the yard by the truck, Ike was afraid Lucas would ask him to stay behind as well.

  Finally, Lucas said, ‘It’s up to the Originals to get justice for ourselves and for all the kids who followed.’

  ‘Then let’s go,’ Ike replied.

  Lucas hesitated for just a moment and then said, ‘OK, friend. Let’s go.’

  The First Years and Katherine took off that day, as soon as they could get the white camper shell on and settle everyone inside. The shell was like fresh frosting on a stale cake. Newer than the battered pickup, it had a tinted window in the back and shiny black knobs that attached it to the truck.

  At first, they had what Ike’s dad would have called a pissing match about who was going to ride in the front seat with Lucas. Then Ike pointed out that this wasn’t the easiest truck to drive, and he knew Northern California better than any of them did.

  That seemed to convince Lucas, only then he turned to Wyatt and said, ‘You could drive it, couldn’t you?’

  ‘Sure.’ Wyatt’s voice shot up an octave.

  ‘Tell you what?’ Lucas said. ‘Why don’t you ride up in front with us, and you can take over when Ike gets tired.’

&n
bsp; ‘Shouldn’t one of the girls ride in front?’ Ike asked. ‘Sissy, maybe?’

  ‘She can rest better in the back,’ Lucas said. ‘Don’t worry about the logistics, Ike. I’ve got that covered.’

  Only Katherine resisted riding in the back, but then she had resisted making this trip in the first place.

  They drove off into the fog and then, once on the freeway, into the clear darkness. In a matter of hours, they encountered air so fresh Ike felt he could drink it.

  Wyatt hadn’t been much of a talker, and he kept his earbuds in.

  ‘It’s a long trip,’ Ike told Lucas. ‘Can’t be easy for those in back.’

  ‘They’ll be fine.’ Lucas sipped from the latte he had picked up on the way out of town.

  Easy enough to do. Sure, they had money for coffee, but it was easier to just pull up in front of a coffee shop, run inside, and pull a fresh one off the counter. Employees and customers were always so friendly in those places. No one would care who took what and why. Just make another latte and call the customers by their first names, and everyone was happy, or trying to be.

  ‘This is going to be the test for Katherine,’ Lucas said.

  ‘Why are you so focused on her? She’s done everything you want her to.’

  ‘Her attitude, for one. She needs to be the one to finish off the Weasel.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Ike said.

  ‘I’ll do it.’ Wyatt grinned and tapped his toe against the case on the floorboard. ‘They’re my knives. A girl won’t know how to do it.’

  ‘You ever killed anyone?’ Ike asked him.

  Wyatt shook his head. ‘Only in my dreams. A lot of people, especially the Weasel. I’ve killed him a thousand times.’

  Lucas chuckled, and Ike said, ‘I’ve never killed anyone either. I’ve beat the crap out of plenty, though, and if it comes to that, I could run one of those knives into the Weasel for all he’s done to us.’

  ‘You’ll both get your chance,’ Lucas told him. ‘Finally, you can do anything you want to, and he won’t be able to fight back or tell lies about us.’

  They drove a few more miles, all of them thinking about the Weasel. Ike could feel the bastard’s smirking presence in the truck. He remembered all those group sessions when they had to spill their guts, whether they wanted to or not.

  ‘What about you, Lucas?’ Ike asked.

  ‘What about me what, friend?’

  ‘Have you ever killed anyone? In real life, I mean, not just in your mind.’

  Wyatt’s eyes widened as if Ike had done something wrong. But Lucas had just asked them. No reason Ike couldn’t ask back.

  Lucas sat up straighter in the seat and smiled as if reliving something in his mind. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘One time. Any other questions?’

  ‘Are you sorry?’ Ike asked.

  ‘No, I’m glad. You will be too once we know for sure the Weasel will never destroy another kid.’

  ‘Right,’ Ike said, but the calm expression on Lucas’s face bothered him.

  It was as if he knew what they were doing. But he really didn’t. Katherine might have been right about him, but it was too late to worry about that now. Besides, if anyone deserved to suffer, it was Dr Melvin Weaver.

  Lucas sipped his coffee slowly. Finally, he said, ‘What are you going to do if you realize Katherine isn’t one of us, Ike?’

  ‘I don’t think that’s going to happen,’ Ike said.

  Lucas nodded and got a faraway look in his eyes again. ‘Well, if that’s the way it turns out, I think you know what we’ll have to do.’

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Lucas had won. Kit had no choice but to ride with the rest of them on the hard carpet of the truck bed as they headed toward Northern California and Weaver’s camp. Ike had shoved in his sleeping bags, and Kit and Jessica had gathered them around Sissy, who had fallen asleep again. The trip would take more than six hours, and they had been on the road close to three. As the bumps and vibrations of the highway numbed her body, Kit leaned back against the wall of the camper shell and closed her eyes. For a moment, she felt more like Katherine, the runaway, than Kit, who had come in search of a missing girl. Kit, the crime blogger, would not have lasted a day in that cult-like compound. Stripped of contact with the outside world and with an injured ankle, she had become dependent on any human interaction she could make.

  Living this life, connecting with Jessica, Ike, even Sissy, had pulled her so far away from who she was that she had to remind herself that she had a newly found mother, people she loved, and a job to return to. Once they got to Weaver’s camp, maybe sooner, she would have her chance to escape. Right now, she had to stop these kids from committing murder. That’s what they thought they wanted to do, and it was the reason Lucas forced them back to this place.

  She tried to tell herself that they might back out once they arrived, but she had watched Lucas expertly stir their anger. He was also blackmailing them with his video library of each of them breaking the law. In their compound of free will, he held all the power.

  Jessica curled up to her right. Angel sat directly across, closest to the cab. She had zipped up the tight brown jacket, covering two of the three bat tattoos on her neck. Kit had hoped she would stay behind, but Angel was a First Year. She was also suspicious of Kit, obviously because she had been looking for Jessica, but maybe also because she was street-smart enough to recognize an imposter. Whatever the reason, she pretended to ignore Kit but always seemed to be watching her out of the corner of her eye. Theo, the long-haired kid with glasses who had been in the shower with Sissy, played some kind of card game on the carpet, dark hair hiding his eyes. In spite of the cold, the air inside was stale and Kit already felt claustrophobic.

  ‘You asleep?’ Jessica nudged her. Bundled up in one of the sleeping bags, she looked like a little girl, which in a way she was. Her eyeliner had worn off and, without it, her eyes seemed even larger.

  ‘Not really.’

  Jessica yawned. ‘I’m hungry.’

  Angel opened the cookie box, and the smell of coconut filled their tiny space. ‘Have one,’ she said. ‘They aren’t bad.’

  ‘I’d rather have a hamburger.’

  ‘I’m sure we’ll stop soon,’ Kit told her. ‘It’s going to be three or four more hours.’

  ‘How would you know how far it is?’ Angel leaned toward her. ‘You were never part of our camp.’

  ‘You think that’s the only way I would know how to get to Northern California?’ she asked.

  ‘Come on, you two.’ Jessica rubbed her forehead as if trying to erase their voices. ‘Lucas told you to play nice.’

  ‘She wasn’t playing nice when she stole my boots,’ Kit said above the noise of the truck.

  ‘For all I know, you stole them in the first place. Where would you get the kind of money to buy something that nice?’

  ‘Why don’t you leave me alone?’ Kit said. ‘I haven’t done anything to you.’

  The truck hit a rough place, and they all scrambled to hold on.

  When the road smoothed out, Angel said, ‘Guess I don’t like people who aren’t part of the group trying to crash the party.’

  ‘Some party.’ Kit gestured around them. ‘I asked Lucas to let me leave, but he wouldn’t. Now, I’m stuck with you guys.’

  ‘I asked you two to cut it out.’ Jessica took a cookie, frowned at it, and offered the box to Kit, who shook her head. ‘That means you too, Angel. Lucas said he wanted to bring in other kids, and Katherine’s OK.’

  The truck began to slow, and Kit grabbed on to the side of the camper shell. After a short bathroom stop, they purchased sodas and some gross burgers from a convenience store.

  Kit’s body felt so tightly tangled that when she tried to stretch, pain shot though her. When she tested her ankle, though, the sprain had dulled to an ache, and she found she could put all of her weight on it without wincing. That was one more secret she would keep from the rest of them.

  Honky-tonk music filled the
small store. Willie Nelson or someone trying to sound like him. No other customers were in line before the cash register. Kit thought about trying to talk to the clerk, to beg him to let her use his phone. But if she failed, she couldn’t predict what Lucas and the others would do. Through the window, she could see them gathered around the truck, laughing, slapping each other on the back. Lucas handed out bags of chips and then returned for more food.

  Jessica came out of the bathroom with her face washed and her eyeliner in place.

  ‘Need to hang on to me, Katherine?’

  Kit started to reply that she was fine, and then remembered that she would be safer if they didn’t know how much better she was.

  ‘Thanks.’ She reached out for Jessica’s arm.

  Just then, Angel approached Lucas while he was paying at the counter.

  ‘She’s probably complaining,’ Jessica said. ‘Bitch.’

  ‘He doesn’t care what she thinks.’ As if to prove her point, Lucas gave Angel a distracted smile and headed outside with Ike while she was still talking.

  ‘Was she always this bad?’ Kit asked Jessica.

  ‘I don’t remember.’ She looked down at the plastic bag containing her pathetic excuse for a meal. ‘We were children.’

  ‘That’s my point. You were too young, too abused, to think rationally. You can’t really go through with what Lucas has planned.’

  ‘Maybe he just wants to scare the Weasel.’

  ‘He wouldn’t come all this way for that, Jessica.’

  ‘He might.’ She glanced out through the windows at the gas tank where Ike pumped and Lucas watched. ‘You don’t know him.’

  ‘That’s the problem. I do know him.’

  Jessica looked down at the burger bag again. ‘I have to get this to Sissy while it’s still hot.’

  ‘And why can’t Sissy get her own food?’ Kit said. ‘Because Lucas decided to punish her. That’s why. And now she’s so broken she may never heal.’

  ‘I didn’t say he was perfect. But you have to understand. He was trying to protect us, including her. Tough love.’