She caught his eye again, his gaze direct, intense, no avoiding as he’d done too often in the past. A promise she wanted to cash as his mouth quirked. She felt her own lips part. Breath lodged in her throat.
“I made it thinking I would put wildflowers in it, for you. I haven’t given you flowers near enough. I’m sorry for that. You deserve romance.”
The world quieted around her, the silence cut only by the sounds of the bubbling water as she focused on him. Waiting for him to make a move, her heart pounded in her throat.
Douglas broke his eye contact, turning to look at Kacie, who tugged on his hand. She made a silly, scrunched face before bursting out with giggles.
Not surprising.
These moments between Douglas and her always seemed to be interrupted. There was no regret or surprise. But a mounting desire. Especially as their opportunities to be alone together would soon dwindle away completely. The urge to enjoy this time was almost overwhelming.
Kelsey flipped her hair over her shoulder. Seeming so grown already as she scooped up her backpack. “Did you have fun today, Dad? This was neat, wasn’t it?”
“I guess your mom isn’t the only artist in the family.” Winking, Douglas held out the girls’ jackets, then steered them toward the mouth of the cave.
Leaving behind the cave, the four of them set off on a nature hike down the mountain. Other art therapy participants milled around them, dispersing in the direction of their own cabins.
The woods were preternaturally still. As if the whole forest soaked in bronze afternoon light held its breath. Knowing that a shift in the fabric of everything was about to take place.
Steeling her nerve, Nina moved beside Douglas, her lips tight. He cocked his head to the side as she fixed him with a pointed look. She shoved her hands into her pockets. “I think our walk back would be a good time to have a family talk.”
His smile faded and already she missed the ease of their day more than she could have imagined.
Douglas cleared his throat. “Girls, we need to talk to you.”
Kacie gave them both a wary look. “About what?”
Kelsey stayed quiet, wrapping her arms around her stomach with a wince.
Nina swallowed, forcing air and light into her voice. She tried to stay calm, but the world seemed to spin. “You know your dad and I have been having trouble for a while.”
The color drained from Kelsey’s face.
A light breeze stirred the fallen leaves, sending squirrels skittering, their scampering the only sound in the forest aside from the crunching of twigs and pine straw beneath her family’s feet.
Kacie’s brow furrowed. “But things are better since we got here. This place is great.”
Douglas put a hand on each girl’s back. “It’s been good to have a vacation as a family. We hope this trip has shown you that we will always be a family, even if we’re having struggles in our relationship.”
Kelsey wrapped her arms tighter around her stomach. “Please stop.”
Nina stopped, cradling Kelsey’s chin in her hand. “Sweetie, this has nothing to do with how much we love you.”
Kacie picked up a stick and chucked it into the tangle of branches ahead. “I knew it. I knew it! You two are getting divorced. Why did you even bother coming here if you’d already made up your minds?”
Nina’s heart broke with every step she took. The world felt too big, too vast and open, reminding her too much of the day she’d realized she’d become an orphan. That her family could never be the same. Never be whole.
And if her girls were feeling even a fraction of that? Nina’s stomach took a cliff dive.
Douglas jammed his hands into his jacket pockets. “We want you to see how we can all work together. We care about each other.”
Kelsey’s bottom lip trembled. “Why are you telling us this right now, Mom?”
“Sweetie, we need to spend some time alone planning for the future and we didn’t want you two to get the wrong idea.”
“Alone?” Kacie asked. “Where are we going?”
Nina knew she had to stay calm, stay in the moment. Even though her insides were a mess. “You girls are going to stay here in our cabin with Aunt Ashlynn for a while. She’s joining us today.”
Urgent and frantic birdsong added to the cacophony of sounds as they kept walking down the path.
Rubbing a hand along her forehead, Kelsey frowned, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “On our family vacation?”
“She’s family, too,” Nina reminded her gently. “My only family other than the three of you.”
Douglas wrapped an arm around Kelsey, walking in step with her. Nina watched her daughter’s shoulders sag just as their cabin crested into view. Though it looked decidedly less cozy when coupled with the wobbly tears falling down Kelsey’s face, which Douglas stopped to wipe away.
He was such a good father. She would miss having him by her side to parent. For a moment, the promise of future pain from this split threatened to take her out at the knees. If only he could have been there for her, and not just for his daughters. She understood marriage changed a relationship, and she recognized that the twins had to come first for both of them. But she missed the tender affection she used to know at Douglas’s hands. The care and concern when he looked into her eyes.
Lagging behind, Kacie snapped a twig off a nearby tree branch, the sound pulling Nina’s thoughts back where it belonged. To her daughters and the hurt they had to bear that wasn’t of their own making.
Kacie tugged another skinny branch. The bough bowed, sending leaves sailing to the ground. “You need to tell Aunt Ashlynn never mind. Things got out of hand yesterday. We were just trying to get you and Dad to work together. I thought Dad would get mad if I was talking to a boy and race straight to you—and I was right.”
Was everything the girls had done part of an elaborate subterfuge? She’d guessed goat yoga had been selected to keep them close. But flirting with a boy to force them to talk seemed like a whole new grand-master level.
Nina’s eyes sought her husband’s, their gazes meeting. Holding. And wasn’t this a kind of communication, too? She hated that Douglas didn’t talk to her more. But she couldn’t deny they shared another language. One, perhaps, that she didn’t give enough credit for connecting them.
She cleared her throat, attention shifting back to Kacie. “If you got what you wanted, then why are you so upset now?”
“Because everything’s messed up. You two are quitting.” Her daughter looked at the ground, scuffing a worn tennis shoe through the leaves. “And I miss my sister. She asked me why I hate her, and I don’t. I know I pick on her, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I’m just so mad all the time. You wouldn’t understand.”
Nina’s heart plummeted to think her rocky marriage had done that to her daughter—giving her cause to feel angry that way. She understood better than her daughter could imagine. She hooked an arm around Kacie’s shoulders and hugged her against her side. “A sister is a very special friend. I miss mine, too.”
And as if Ashlynn had somehow heard the plea to be there right that minute, her squeal carried on the breeze along with Kelsey’s and Douglas’s greetings. Ashlynn waved, a broad sweeping gesture that held so much casual grace and elegance. The sight of her sister dressed in a plaid shirt and skinny jeans picking her way toward them threatened Nina’s tenuous grip on keeping it together.
Her sister’s long, loose curls cascaded down her back, her smile every bit as familiar and welcoming as it had been that first day Nina pulled up to her latest foster home. Nina sprinted, boots hitting the ground as she wrapped Ashlynn in a deep hug.
Needing her support now more than ever.
* * *
Watching Ashlynn wrap Nina in a tight hug, the two women rocking back and forth, Douglas saw firsthand how disconnected and alone Nina had been
in these past few years. True, he’d known the bond between Nina and Ashlynn ran deep and true, but Nina’s body language now spoke other stories. Told of wounds of isolation.
And that socked him in the gut when he was already reeling from the hurts he’d doled out to the twins just now. He squeezed Kelsey’s shoulder once more, remembering her tears and hating that he’d put them there. Bad enough that the girls were upset. Now he was witnessing for himself how badly he’d failed with Nina that she needed her sister so much it was evident to anyone looking at them.
Finally, Nina loosened her grip on her sister and let out a pained, almost manic bark of laughter. Nina placed a hand to her temple and shook her head in what seemed to be a combination of disbelief, shock and relief.
How had she become so isolated? How had this happened beneath the roof of their home?
If he could win her back...
No.
That wasn’t right. When he won her back, he’d never let her feel so alone again. Never let Nina revisit this place of loneliness.
Stepping forward to carry Ashlynn’s overnight bag, Douglas opened the cabin door. With a resounding creak, the door swung inward. He nodded, a motion for everyone to step through the threshold, watching as his family plastered on welcoming smiles. “Thank you for coming so quickly, Ashlynn.”
“I can’t wait to spoil them rotten.” She pulled two bags of sour gummies from her purse and passed them to the girls trailing her into the main living area. “I’ve been trying to visit for the longest time. It was serendipity that things worked out.”
Kacie shook her head, hands working to open the sour gummy pack. “It’s Top Dog magic.”
Ashlynn looked from Douglas to Nina before returning her attention to the twins. “What do you mean?”
Kelsey gave a soft smile. “Oh, you’ll see.”
Douglas wasn’t content to leave this evening up to chance—or magic. He intended to stack the deck in his favor in every way possible. “If you ladies are okay to hang out alone for a while, I have some errands to run.”
* * *
Nerves tapping overtime in her stomach, Nina pulled out the smaller of their suitcases, finally alone with Ashlynn to have a talk without worries anyone would overhear.
The twins were in the loft. Kacie had been polishing her boots, wanting them to look just perfect for their next horse-based activity while Kelsey continued reading her chapter book. At least she’d been afforded this small luxury. One-on-one time with her sister as she packed for the mystery outing Douglas was planning.
Every moment she spent with Ashlynn made it hard to remember they hadn’t always been sisters. The space between them had always been comfortable, knowing.
Dropping onto the futon, Nina slumped next to her sister, breathing in her jasmine-scented perfume. The same perfume she’d been wearing since they were teens. “I can’t believe you got here so fast. You must have left right after we hung up.”
She shrugged, holding up one of Nina’s shirt options. She shook her head, curls shaking in slight dismissal of the potential outfit. “Not too long thereafter. I didn’t need to pack very much, and my neighbor is taking care of the cat.”
“How’s Miss Kitty doing?” Nina held up another shirt, a silent question for approval.
Ashlynn nodded and the shirt went into another pile of maybes.
“Fat as ever.” Ashlynn leaned forward, elbows on her knees. “But I’m more interested in hearing how you’re doing.”
Standing, Nina tugged open one of the drawers on the antique dresser, wishing she had brought prettier underwear. She dug around, pulling out a matching bra and panties set, white with a hint of lace. Passable, but not ideal. When leaving the farm, she hadn’t expected sex to be on the agenda. “When we decided to come here, I was certain Douglas and I were over. We even told the girls as much today.”
A conversation that had pierced her heart, an ache that lingered still.
“But you’re not certain?”
Wasn’t she? This time here at the Top Dog Dude Ranch had been every bit as magical as advertised. It had made her see what her family could be—how her husband could be—and that made her wonder. Was there a possibility he could change? And yes, that she could, too? She only knew one thing for certain.
“I know we can’t continue on as we have been. Except...” Nina’s voice trailed off. She let her mind wander, recalling the heat in Douglas’s eyes.
Ashlynn tipped her head into Nina’s line of sight. “Except what?”
She sagged against the dresser. “Except I can’t help but wish we could go back to the way things were.”
“You’re smarter now. Maybe it can be better this time,” Ashlynn said, ever the optimist no matter what life threw at her.
Nina winced. “I told myself that more than once.”
She picked at one of her cuticles on her manicured hand. “Sounds to me like you’re still hoping or you wouldn’t be going off with him.”
Did Ashlynn always have to be right? Of course Nina was hoping. But she also had to be a realist, for her daughters’ sake. “We have to find a way to hold on to the peace we’ve found here even after we leave, for the girls.”
“And if you can’t?”
Even if she didn’t have the prettiest, laciest underwear packed, she was going to take what she could from this night with Douglas. “Then I hope I get one last chance to make love with my husband before we walk away.”
Chapter Eleven
Anticipation coursing through his veins, Douglas draped his wrist over the steering wheel, pressing the accelerator as they sped along the weaving mountain road. The sun setting into the valley cast a warm haze over trees already ablaze with autumn colors. He’d been driving in convoluted circles for a while, hoping she wouldn’t guess where they were headed.
He’d made the most of the afternoon planning the perfect evening getaway, with more than a little help from Jacob O’Brien. Initially, he’d thought about a night in downtown Gatlinburg, but that felt too much like a date and he was afraid she would bolt. So he opted for a dinner in what he hoped was a romantic place, but if she wasn’t in that frame of mind, she would just see it as a secluded location to talk.
Toying with one silver hoop earring, she stretched long legs encased in black jeans until her feet were under the heater. “I’m eaten up with curiosity over where we’re going.”
Glancing in the rearview, he guided the vehicle carefully around a hairpin turn. “You’ve always said you like surprises and I’m finally stepping up.”
“Fair enough. Thank you for taking the reins to plan this so I could spend more time with Ashlynn and packing. I can’t think when’s the last time you and I have had a night away from the girls. It will be good for us to have a chance to, uhm, talk.”
Her voice flared with a husky heat he really hoped he wasn’t misreading.
“Have you heard anything from Ashlynn about how the girls are doing?” With another fluid turn, Douglas led them toward their final destination and his big move.
“They’ve already packed the schedule full and texted me the details.” She pulled her phone out of her large leather bag. “Tonight, they’re taking a wagon ride through the ranch with stargazing. And tomorrow morning they’re going zip-lining.”
“Kelsey’s going zip-lining?” He chuckled. “I can’t imagine that making her top ten list of things to do.”
She leaned her head against the glass, her hand gravitating to the camera in her large leather purse, as he knew she did when nervous.
“Probably not even her top hundred. Kacie insisted the debt still hasn’t been repaid for going to goat yoga.”
“I’m glad Ashlynn was able to help on such short notice.” And the fact that Nina had asked her? Hope grew. “Will she be able to stay after we get back tomorrow so you two can visit? I know you miss her.”
“I do, so much.” She drew an absent circle with her finger on the passenger window.
The town glittered in a valley below, the mountainside speckled with stray lights. Beautiful. But not even close to being as lovely as his wife in profile.
Douglas tapped a finger on the steering wheel in time with the song whispering through the radio. “I’m sorry I didn’t make a point to include Ashlynn in our lives more often.”
Nina turned back to him. “She lived with us for six months.”
“And that time was the happiest I’ve ever seen you.” As he said the words, he realized he hadn’t really registered that fact before. What else had he missed, too preoccupied with keeping the farm together during his brother’s illness? “I’m sorry to have isolated you so much.”
Her face softened and she squeezed his arm, lingering. “We’ve both had such full plates there hasn’t been much time to think or analyze. For what it’s worth, I don’t blame you for our problems. Life just dealt us both an unrelenting hard hand.”
“We aren’t the only ones.” Their girls were affected by this.
Nodding knowingly, she absently skimmed her fingers along his wrist. “So, we haven’t had time to talk about Kacie and her boy crush. Do you really believe she was only talking to him to make you angry?”
“I don’t know. God help me, I’m not ready for this. Shouldn’t they still be debating what Halloween costume they’re going to wear this year?” Kacie’s sudden interest in boys reminded him time moved forward and would continue to move forward without him if he and Nina split.
“I would guess Kacie doesn’t think it has to be a choice between boys and a Halloween costume.”
Tension knotted in his gut. “What did she tell you?”
“Initially she may have talked to the boy to get your attention so we would have to talk, but then... I get the impression she started enjoying the conversation.” Her grip tightened on his hand, comforting.
“Great,” he said with a growl, already tired of this topic. Thank goodness they were approaching the location for his date night to woo his wife. “I thought we had a while longer before this stage hit.”
Last-Chance Marriage Rescue Page 13
