But there would be other chances, she was sure of it, especially as she had done so well. She'd just have to persevere.
Sandra had looked after George for most of the day and slipped out for takeout when Olivia arrived home. Now the front door opened and Sandra came back with cartons of Chinese.
"I got a first," Olivia said, flapping the letter.
"You clever girl. What a wonderful Christmas present." Sandra grinned and gave her a hug. Then she kissed George's head. "This little chap is sure to be brainy having you and Cameron for parents."
Olivia's joy dimmed a little more at the reminder of Cameron. She wanted him in George's life, but he was being a pain. He'd asked his new girlfriend, a pediatric nurse, to e-mail Olivia advice on baby care. The woman was probably trying to be helpful, but it was very annoying to be told what to do by Cameron's new girlfriend.
"Let's have dinner. I'm starving." Sandra led the way through to the kitchen where Olivia had already laid the table. "I'd suggest cracking open a bottle of wine to celebrate, but you can't drink as you're still breast-feeding, and I don't want to indulge alone."
"Go on, you deserve a glass." Olivia smiled with encouragement. She felt sorry for Sandra. There were only a few hours left of Christmas Eve and she still hadn't heard from Brigadier Knight. She'd more or less given up hope that he'd be home for Christmas Day.
Olivia felt the same way, although she tried to be positive. Radley had texted her his love the previous day, but she'd received so many similar texts from him that they didn't give her the boost they used to.
Olivia strapped George into the removable seat section of his stroller and set it on the table so he could watch them. "Are you a good boy?" She squeaked his soft Santa toy hanging on his seat. He smiled and waved his arms, babbling baby language.
They sat and started eating. "Any news on what's going on in Afghanistan?" Olivia asked.
"There's nothing new in the newspapers or on the Internet." Sandra tapped the screen of her tablet device and turned it so Olivia could see. "I searched earlier but all the relevant news is a week or two old."
"So things have quieted down out there. Does that make it more likely that the men will get leave?"
"One would think so, but over the years I've found it doesn't always work that way."
"Oh." Olivia's hopes had risen every day that passed without reports of trouble, but the men still hadn't turned up. She glanced at the kitchen clock, draped with sparkly tinsel, and sighed. They were running out of time to make it home for tomorrow.
A noise sounded from the front hall and Olivia's gaze flew to the kitchen door.
"Someone's there." Sandra jumped up.
"Please, God, let it be Radley," Olivia said under her breath.
Cameron stepped through the door and her heart crashed down with disappointment. She immediately felt guilty for her reaction.
"Oh, darling." Sandra threw her arms around her younger son. "I'm so pleased to see you. Why didn't you let me know you were coming?"
"I did. I texted yesterday."
"Well, I didn't get it. I've been checking my phone umpteen times a day." She stood back, gripping his arms, and looked at him. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm just pleased you're home."
"I couldn't miss my boy's first Christmas." Cameron's gaze moved to George and a grin pulled at the corners of his mouth. "How is the little guy?" He rounded the table and stopped to hug Olivia and kiss her cheek.
It wasn't quite as awkward as last time he was home. They had gotten to know each other again through their video calls and communication over George. Cameron might have his faults, but there was no doubt he cared about his son.
Cameron pulled a soft toy dog wearing a Santa hat out of a bag and tickled George's tummy with it. The baby gurgled and kicked his legs. "You like that, don't you? You'll get more presents tomorrow." He fluffed up George's hair affectionately. "Can I take him out of his seat?"
"Of course."
"Put his other presents under the tree," Sandra added. "He's already been given a heap. Georgie's not going to know what's happened when he gets all his new toys tomorrow."
Olivia smiled as Cameron unclipped the straps and lifted his son into his arms. George held his head up and stared at his father for a while before the effort grew too much for his neck and he head-butted Cameron's shoulder. "Ouch." Cameron laughed. "Easy, Georgie, you'll knock yourself out."
Sandra set a third place at the table, then Cameron returned George to his seat and sat down to eat. Sandra beamed at him. Olivia was pleased for her—at least she had one of her sons home for Christmas.
The Chinese easily stretched to feed three as there was always too much. When they finished eating, Olivia cleared away the dishes and cartons and put on the coffee machine.
They were sitting at the table, Cameron telling stories about his work in Germany, when the sound of the front door opening cut through the conversation. For the second time that evening, Sandra leaped to her feet. The sound of male voices set Olivia's heart racing—Radley, please let it be him.
Brigadier Knight filled the doorway with his imposing figure. Sandra flew into his arms and buried her face against his chest. He looked slightly bemused as he wrapped her in his embrace.
"You made it back for Christmas," she gasped tearfully.
"You knew I'd try."
Her answer was half laugh, half sob.
Radley followed his father in. Sandra released her husband and pulled her older son into a hug. "You're thoughtless, both of you. Neither of you told me you were coming."
"We weren't sure until yesterday evening. Then we decided to make it a surprise," Radley said. "It's good to be back."
"All my boys are home. I can't believe it. A few hours ago I thought Olivia and I would be celebrating Christmas on our own."
Radley's gaze rose from his mother and found Olivia. Her heart pounded, her limbs suddenly weak. She longed to throw herself in his arms, but it wouldn't be appropriate. Brigadier Knight and Cameron didn't know about her relationship with Radley yet.
The brigadier smiled at her. "How are you?"
"Fit but a little tired. George still wakes in the night to be fed."
The older man's smile stretched wide as his gaze moved to the baby seat on the table. "My first grandson." He strode around the table. "Last time I saw you, you were a bump in your mummy's tummy."
Everyone laughed.
"George junior. Good choice of name!" Brigadier Knight gripped George's foot and shook it. "He's a handsome chap. He's obviously taken after his grandfather."
The mood in the room bubbled with joy and merriment as everyone laughed again. Olivia watched the brigadier meet his grandson, yet most of her attention focused on Radley. His gaze settled on George, then moved back to her. She met his appraisal, longing pulsing through her as their eyes met.
She had started to wonder if she really loved him as much as she thought. The yearning inside her confirmed that she did. Her heart wanted to burst out of her chest with pleasure at seeing him again. She couldn't wait to be alone with him, to feel his arms around her. From the expression on his face, he felt the same way.
"Well," said Brigadier Knight, breaking into her warm imaginings of being with Radley. She swung her gaze towards the older man. He gave her a considered look, then moved on to appraise Cameron. "When are you going to make an honest woman of Olivia and ask her to marry you?"
Olivia froze, hardly able to believe the brigadier had said such a thing. Cameron's face paled but she gave him only a passing glance, her attention jumping to Radley. His lazy smile faded to a fixed blank expression.
"I hardly think that's our business," Sandra said, breaking the awkward silence.
"Of course it is." Brigadier Knight gripped the back of a chair. "My grandson will grow up in a proper family with a mother and father. I did not raise my sons to shirk their responsibilities, did I?" He turned his stern gaze on Cameron and raised questioning eyebrows.
***<
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Radley had been about to walk around the table to take his turn greeting Olivia and George. His thoughts had drifted back to the nights he'd spent in her room before he left, the simple pleasure of holding her in his arms while she slept and the other pleasures he now hoped they could enjoy together.
His father's words slashed across his senses, waking him from his fantasy with a painful jolt. For a moment his mind blanked in shock, then he took in Olivia's stricken expression and Cameron's obvious embarrassment.
This was awkward beyond words. If only he had confided in his father how he felt about Olivia. He had never liked to discuss personal matters with his parents, but maybe he should have made an exception this time. He'd had plenty of opportunity during the journey home.
Radley gripped the back of his neck, trying to decide what to do. Tension vibrated through the family gathering. Now was not the time to confess how he felt and possibly embarrass Olivia further. He needed to speak to both her and Cameron in private first.
Radley met Olivia's desperate gaze and longed to wrap her in his arms and tell her not to worry. Instead he satisfied himself with a quick kiss on her cheek. "Talk upstairs in a minute," he whispered and withdrew.
His mother chatted, trying to smooth things over. His father looked on with the demeanor of a man who expected everyone to jump to it and do as they were told.
"I think I'll take my stuff upstairs," Radley said, giving his mother's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Is Cam sleeping in my room with me?"
"Yes, darling." Clutching at the lifeline of normality Radley had thrown, his mother rose and hurried in front of him to the hall cupboard. "Cameron, you can use the camp bed."
For once Cameron didn't complain. He simply hoisted the folded bed and carted it up the stairs. Radley passed his mother the bag of Christmas presents he'd bought in London and followed his brother, moving ahead on the landing to open the bedroom door.
Once in the sanctuary of his room, Radley dumped his bag on the floor and went to stare out the window. It was dark outside. Two lamps spilled pools of light, one on the terrace and the other beside the pond, highlighting the glistening cobweb of ice across the water and the sparkling frost-encrusted tree branches. A few fluffy snowflakes spiraled out of the sky and settled on the ground.
Radley rested a hand on the window frame and pulled his thoughts together. He and his brother didn't generally discuss their feelings, but he needed to ask his brother a question. He was almost certain he knew the answer, yet he had to be sure before he said anything else. Radley glanced over his shoulder.
Cameron had flopped onto Radley's bed and was checking his phone.
"Do you love Olivia?" Radley said.
Cameron's gaze jumped to him, startled. "What? No. I don't. And I'm not going to marry her, so don't you start pressuring me as well. This is the twenty-first century. Women can have babies without being married."
Relief burned through Radley, leaving a pleasant afterglow like a gulp of double malt. "Don't worry. We'll sort it out."
"Yeah. By telling Dad to stop living in the past."
Radley couldn't help smiling. "Good luck with that."
Cameron scowled.
Radley dropped down on the edge of the bed and wondered how attached Cameron had become to George. That would be the complication. "There's an easy way to get Dad off your back. I'll marry Olivia."
"You?" Cameron's brows knitted. "You don't even know her. Why would you—"
"I do know her. I was here for the first six weeks of George's life."
"You've known her for six weeks and you want to marry her?"
"We were together 24/7."
"Really?" Cameron sat up and eyed him curiously. "At night as well?"
"I love her, Cam. That's all you need to know."
Cameron chewed the corner of his lip. "That means you'll become George's stepfather."
"I won't cut you out, Cam. You can see George whenever you want. You'll still be an important part of his life."
Cameron flopped back on the pillow and threw an arm over his face. For long minutes he was silent and nerves churned in Radley's gut. He didn't want to steal his brother's son, but Olivia and George were a package. He loved them both. Cameron didn't.
"Look, she'll end up marrying someone. If it's me, then you're far more likely to see George regularly."
Cameron blew out a breath and uncovered his face. "I kinda thought Olivia would be too busy to have a boyfriend. I guess that was stupid."
And selfish, Radley thought. But he kept that to himself. No point in stirring things up. His gaze moved to the wall, knowing that on the other side was the room where Olivia and George slept, the room where he so badly wanted to be right now. "I already love that little boy as if he were my own," he said softly. "I will love them both and look after them."
Cameron's eyes watered and Radley felt bad. Perhaps he should have taken this more slowly or approached it differently. He rested a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Cam. But you've got to think of what's best for Olivia as well."
"Yeah, I know." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I just wanted to be George's dad."
"You can see him every time you have leave, if that's what you want."
Cameron leaned back against the headboard and fiddled with his phone. "Have you asked her yet if she'll marry you?"
"No."
"You sure she'll say yes?"
Radley shrugged, not wanting to delve into his own fears and insecurities.
"You better go and ask her." Cameron punched him on the arm halfheartedly. "Good luck."
"Yeah, thanks."
Radley's heart thumped as he left his room and knocked softly on the one next door. When Olivia answered, he slipped inside.
She had obviously just changed George's diaper and placed him on the bed so she could put on her nightdress and feed him. A tentative smile lit her face at the sight of Radley.
"I'm sorry, Liv, I wanted to greet you properly, but it was awkward downstairs. I've missed you so much." He went to her and she stepped into his arms. For a few moments he simply held her, his cheek against her hair, reveling in the feel of her slender body in his arms. Then he dipped his head. She met his lips in a welcoming kiss that seared away his fear that she might not care for him as he hoped.
After long moments, they broke apart when George whimpered as if demanding his turn to say hello.
Radley picked up the little boy and held him close, pressing his lips to the soft, dark hair. "You are growing into such a big boy. Mummy must be looking after you well." Radley rocked him to and fro, a stupid grin on his face.
Olivia leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder. He shifted George into one arm so he could wrap his other around her.
"He's able to hold his head up quite well now," she said. "It won't be long before he can sit up. I can't wait for him to be able to sit in a high chair at the table."
"Then he'll be crawling and walking." Radley's thoughts rolled on through the months, imagining the three of them together as George grew into a little boy. Radley would teach him to ride a bike and kick a ball. And he'd make sure to include Cameron as well so he didn't miss anything.
George nuzzled the front of Radley's shirt and Olivia giggled.
"You're not going to get any grub from me, you little scamp. You need Mummy for that."
Radley handed the baby back to Olivia, impressed by how much heavier he had grown in the last month. She laid George on her bed and picked up her nightie. "I was just going to change." Her cheeks flushed.
"I need to put on my pajamas and brush my teeth," Radley said, realizing she wanted a few minutes of privacy. "Can I come back?"
Radley had made the mistake of distancing himself from Olivia over the last few days before he'd left for Wales. He'd wasted precious nights when he could have been with her. He'd told himself he was doing the right thing, giving her space to decide how she felt about Cameron ahead of his visit. What he'd real
ly done was allow his horrible experience with his ex-wife to influence his actions.
That was in the past and had no bearing on this situation. He didn't want to be alone any more. He wanted to spend every moment he could with Olivia and George.
"Yes, come back." Olivia gripped his hand. He kissed her again, relief flashing through him. This Christmas was the start of the rest of his life. He had a second chance, and he'd get it right this time.
Chapter Nine
Olivia's breath rushed out on a little gasp of relief and pleasure. When Radley's arms closed around her, the recent uncertain weeks seemed like a distant memory. It was as if he had never gone away. She loved this man so much. She never wanted to let him go again.
Once he went to change, she did a circuit of the room, turned on the Christmas lights strung on the wall beside George's crib, and lit the scented candles on top of the chest of drawers and bedside tables. Then she turned off the main light. A soft glow fell over the bed and a festive, spicy fragrance filled the room. She had hoped and prayed things might work out this way, but hardly dared believe that as the clock struck twelve to herald Christmas Day, she would be snuggled in bed with Radley.
She dug out the blue silk negligee she rarely wore, quickly changed, and dashed to the bathroom where she freshened up, and applied a few strategic dabs of perfume. Then she climbed in bed, leaned back against a stack of pillows, and started feeding George.
Fifteen minutes later, Radley slipped back into the room, a robe over his pajamas. He paused and looked around, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth. "It's so good to be back here with you."
He moved around the bed and sniffed the air near the scented candle. "Smells nice," he said, shrugging off his robe. He tossed it onto a chair, then lifted the covers to climb in beside her.
Nerves tingled beneath her skin. They had done nothing more than kiss before he left. She had still been recovering from her C-section and Radley had been very gentle with her. Now she was fully fit, there was no reason why they couldn't make love.
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