by Lisa Lace
Even me.
“You can’t do this.”
“Watch me.” He smiles. “If Ivy doesn’t like it, there’s the door.”
“Ivy could be iconic. Jane will never be anything more than a flash in the pan.”
“That’s all I need her to be. Another girl will come along.”
“You’re disgusting.”
His expression turns stormy. He pulls back his lips in a vicious snarl and lifts a finger to point in my face. “Never forget you’d be nothing without me. If your precious singer means that much to you, you can follow her onto the streets.” He reaches for the door handle. “Or, you can remember your place and suck it up.” He pauses for effect. “Manage your act, Lucas. I’ll happily put Jane out as a solo if Ivy won’t play ball.”
I watch him straighten his jacket and shoot his cuffs as leaves. Then I sit down, let my head fall back, and stare at the ceiling. There’s nothing I can do. I don’t know how I’m going to break the news to Ivy that, once again, things are out of my hands.
The girls open the door and peer into the engineering room.
Ivy is the first to speak. “Lucas?”
I sit up straight and force a smile. “Ladies.”
“Is everything okay?”
“I’ll sort it out.”
Jane’s expression grows sour. “Sort what out? When I was pushed into the background, nobody complained. Harvey is just experimenting. Let him do his thing.”
I literally bite my tongue so I don’t tell Ivy everything about Jane and my father. I know she’d be devastated after how loyal she’s been to Jane.
“How about we call it a day for now, hmm?” I change the subject. “I’m going to have a look through our archives for some new songs and work through what else we’ve got to see how we can mix things up.” I catch Ivy’s eye. “I’ll talk to my father about where he’s going with this.”
“Typical,” Jane huffs and storms out of the room.
Ivy lowers herself onto the console, sitting opposite me. Her eyes are downcast. She keeps swallowing, holding back more tears.
When she finally speaks, her voice is almost a whisper. “I guess this is a taste of my own medicine.”
“What are you talking about?”
She shrugs. “Jane is right. I’ve had plenty of time in the spotlight.”
“That’s because you’re the one with talent.”
Ivy winces. “Please stop saying that, Lucas. It’s not true.” She exhales slowly, shaking her head. “Maybe I should have taken Jane’s advice and been more agreeable to compromise. She did everything Harvey asked of her, while I dug in my heels. No wonder he likes her more.”
Should I tell her?
“He simply likes to stir things up,” I say. “It’s how he weeds out the ones who aren’t cut out for the music business. He’ll toy with you and Jane for a while just to test how solid you are as an act.”
“You think that’s all it is?”
The lie is less painful than the truth.
“I’m sure.” I lay my hand on Ivy’s knee and force a smile. “I know him a lot better than you. He likes to play games, but when crunch time comes, he’ll do what’s best for him, and that means profit. He’d be cutting his nose off to spite his face if he showcased Jane instead of you.”
“I don’t know, Lucas. I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m not cut out for this life. I expected it to be hard work, but we’re not even out there yet and it’s already so cutthroat. I’m tired.”
“Don’t say that.” My voice is stern. “The world needs to hear you. You will succeed. With or without Jane, and with or without Fox Records.”
She lifts her face and smiles sadly. “I can’t imagine doing this without Jane…or you.”
“I wouldn’t blame you for leaving Fox Records. You don’t have to settle. You’re a phenomenon.”
Ivy takes hold of my hand and gives it a tight squeeze. “You’ve always supported me without any ulterior motive. Sometimes it feels like you’re my only ally.”
I catch her eye. “Is that all I am?”
She darts her eyes from side to side, as if searching my face for answers. She shakes her head. “No. You’re much more than that.”
Ivy leans in to kiss me. I kiss her back. I can feel the desperation in the way she holds on to me like I’m her last anchor in a storm. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight.
“Everything is going to work out. I promise.”
Ivy
I leave the studio feeling a little better for having had some time with Lucas. No matter what happens next, I know he believes in me.
I walk a little up the street to the bus stop. Jane is there. When she sees me, she rolls her eyes and pointedly turns her back on me, tapping her foot impatiently on the concrete and gazing up the street, searching for the bus.
Standing next to her, I’m silent for a while. The tears prickle behind my eyes. I’ve got no idea how she’s gone from being my best friend and my number one supporter to my biggest rival. I can feel her disdain hanging in the air like a cloud I’ve walked into. It brings me down.
My shoulders sag, and a lump rises in my throat, but I still manage to get some words out. “You’re ignoring me now?”
Jane spins to face me, her expression an angry scowl. “When you and Lucas are in a room together it’s like I don’t exist. Don’t like how that feels, do you?”
“What are you talking about?” I can’t keep the exasperation out of my voice. “You’re paranoid, Jane. Even if I were in a relationship with Lucas, why does that threaten you? All it means is that you don’t trust me, which I don’t understand. We’ve been there for each other for years. Why do you think I’m out to get you now?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Of course not.”
“Then why all the jealousy?” She raises an eyebrow, lifting her chin in challenge. “If we’re not a threat to each other, then why do you freak out the second I get a chance to be center stage?”
“I just don’t understand why Harvey is coming in and making all these changes—”
Jane cuts me off. “Maybe because he recognizes my willingness to do whatever it takes.” She casts a cold glance over me, looking me up and down with contempt. “You think you’re so special, but you won’t budge an inch. You’re perfect. You shouldn’t have to change, right? Maybe if you’d show a little more skin or take a little more time to mingle with the crowds, maybe if you’d network or suck up a little…You think you’re better than everyone else, that’s what it is. You think fame and glory should fall into your lap because you’re the almighty Ivy Evans.”
I feel sick to my stomach hearing Jane talk like this. Every word is a knife in my stomach, twisting and twisting. How long has she had all this hatred for me bottled up inside?
“Is this all because of my relationship with Lucas?”
She clenches her jaw. “You promised me.”
“I’m sorry.”
Looking away, she shrugs. “It doesn’t matter now. Things are righting themselves.”
“Harvey only cares about himself. Look out for yourself, Jane. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m sure you are.” She lets out a hollow bark of laughter. “I’m sure you’re really concerned about me.”
The bus pulls up, and Jane shoulders past me and boards. I hang back to let her pay and get seated before I step up and find my own place. I decide not to sit with her. I don’t want to continue the argument or have to face more of Jane’s silent treatment. She’s mad at me for not resisting Lucas Fox. There’s nothing more to say.
Throughout the journey home, I cast hurt looks across the bus at Jane. She sits in a window seat, pointedly staring through the glass and deliberately avoiding my eye. When the bus reaches her stop, she strides quickly down the aisle, right past me, and doesn’t say a word as she gets off.
I get off at the next stop, heavyhearted and close to tears. My head is a mess. I don’t know what to do. I feel so let d
own and defeated, I want to give up altogether. Maybe take some time to recover from this whole nightmare before I think about singing again.
Maybe Dad will know what to do.
I arrive at our apartment and let myself in. It’s quiet inside. Usually, my father appears the second I open the door to quiz me about where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing, but I don’t hear the thud of his cane on the floor or the sweep of his limp foot across the wood. I can’t hear the buzz of the TV. Nothing.
The feeling of being completely alone resurfaces. I head into the kitchen to make some coffee and find a note stuck to the fridge: Gone to the bar. Be back late.
I rest my head against the cold metal of the refrigerator door and curl my hands into frustrated fists. We don’t have money to spend on drinking at the bar. If we can’t afford physical therapy, we can’t afford booze.
This is pretty much the icing on the cake. I decide if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. I pour a large glass of wine from a bottle that’s been in the fridge for at least six weeks and collapse onto the living room sofa. I sit in the dim, hazy light in the cold silence, drinking my wine and trying hard not to cry.
In the old days when I was feeling down, I’d call Jane, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t even take my call tonight. It seems I don’t have anyone these days.
Except Lucas.
If I were still trying to spare Jane’s feelings, I wouldn’t have picked up my cell and called him. As it is, my father doesn’t care about how hard I’m working to pay our bills, and Jane is doing everything she can to make me feel like dirt. Lucas’s the only one who’s consistently been there for me since this whole thing began.
“Ivy? Is everything alright?”
“Not really.” I swirl my wine around inside the glass. “Can you come over?”
“To your place?”
“Yes.”
“Sure. I have your address written down somewhere. I’ll be there in the next half hour. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“Wine.”
He pauses. “I’ll see you soon.”
We say goodbye, and I end the call. I lean forward on my knees and let out a loud groan. I’d scream, except the little old lady who lives upstairs would start banging on her floorboards. Miserable old witch.
I sit in the dull light and stew until I hear a knock at the door. I jump up and let Lucas in.
He takes my arms and kisses my cheek. The look of concern on his face makes me feel better than I have all day. Somebody cares.
“Are you alright, Ivy?”
I nod. “I just didn’t want to be on my own.”
“I brought some wine.”
I stand on my tiptoes to peck him on the lips. “Thank you. I’ll chill it a while.”
My departure for the kitchen to put the wine in the fridge gives Lucas a chance to look around. I’m embarrassed by my shabby, dirty old apartment, but Lucas doesn’t say a word. He settles on the sofa, and I sit close to him when I return.
Lucas is dressed down tonight. He’s wearing a pair of jeans and a navy-blue T-shirt. He’s gorgeous, as always. That little ball of frustration and hurt that’s been knotting up my stomach the last couple of hours starts to ease off now that he’s here.
“You going to tell me what’s going on?” he asks.
I lift up my hands and take a shaky breath. “The usual. Jane’s giving me the cold shoulder. She wouldn’t even look at me on the bus home.”
Lucas frowns and shakes his head. “It’s just immaturity, Ivy. Don’t let it get to you.”
“I’m trying not to.” I tuck my feet up under me. “You know what I need?”
“What?”
“A night where I’m not thinking about making records, or Jane, or Harvey, or anything like that. I want to talk about anything but music right now.”
“How about movies?”
“Movies?”
“We should watch something. Do you have a DVD player, some DVDs?”
“Sure.”
“Show me.”
I take Lucas over to our little DVD tower in the corner by the kitchen, and he runs his finger down the spine until he settles on Titanic.
He turns to me with a grin. “How about a little Leo and Kate? Every woman loves Titanic, right?”
I laugh. “You’re going to watch Titanic with me?”
“I absolutely am.”
My smile is genuine. Nothing sounds better right now than snuggling up with Lucas, a bottle of wine, and a weepy romance.
“That sounds perfect.” Almost like a date.
Lucas slips the DVD into the player and turns on the TV. He walks the few steps to the kitchen and comes back with the wine and some glasses. Then he takes the throw off the back of the sofa and pulls it over us like a blanket. I curl up against him, instantly relaxed.
He opens the wine and serves us both.
As the movie plays, all the worry and stress of the last few days fade away. I feel like a teenager on a date, watching a movie while her parents are out. By the time the movie ends, I feel like a different person.
“Thanks, Lucas. I needed a time out from real life for a while.”
“I enjoyed it, too. The studio has been a bit much lately.”
“Tell me about it.” I sigh. “I don’t know how to react to Harvey cutting me out. Do you really think he’ll come around again?”
Lucas pauses. I can see a tension in his expression like he’s deciding whether to tell me something.
“What is it?”
“I don’t want to upset you.”
I place my glass down on the table and straighten up, meeting Lucas’s gaze squarely. “I can handle it. What is it?”
“Jane has slept with my father. That’s why he’s pushed you into the background. It’s nothing you’ve done. It’s got nothing to do with your voice. It’s politics and playing games. Jane sold out.”
I’m not angry. I’m not even surprised. I’ve felt all the hurt I can feel for one day. Instead, I’m simply numb.
I shrug. “I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. The first time I saw Jane flirting with Harvey, I was worried something like this would happen. Jane has always done anything to get us places. Anything.”
“I don’t know what happens from here,” Lucas admits. “My father is happy to fuck up a good thing to make sure he never sleeps alone. Maybe you should leave the label. You deserve better.” He looks down. “Whatever you choose, I’ll support your decision. I don’t want to lose you, but I know you’re better than this. Fox Records is holding you back.”
I kiss him.
Lucas has always put me first. He fights for me. He defends me. When the cards are stacked against me, he doesn’t think about what’s best for him, only what’s best for me. I realize I’m falling in love with him.
“Come here,” he says, his tone soft and comforting.
I take his hand and lead him into my bedroom. He stops at the side of my bed and turns to me. His eyes are gentle but longing. His hands slide up my arms, and I close my eyes as they wrap around my waist. He picks me up off the floor and, like they were meant to be there, my legs wrap around him. He is hard, eager, ready, and so sexy it hurts. His hands move along my body, and his lips tease mine. An arousal begins as his fingers move down between my legs, rubbing me through the pajama pants I had forgotten I was wearing. I push the embarrassment from my mind, concentrating on him and how he makes me feel.
He lays me on the bed, his body following mine, imprisoning me on the mattress. His groin pushes into me, and I feel the heat between us as his breathing catches. He looks down at me with shining eyes, and I know he has something on his mind.
“What?” I whisper.
He shakes his head and just stares, making me feel vulnerable and defenseless. He pushes into me again as his fingers pull my top up past my stomach and over my head. He tosses it behind him and looks down at me.
“You’re so beautiful, Ivy. I think I’m falling for you.”
; “You’re supposed to say that to get me into bed. I think you’re a little late on that one,” I tease.
“I’m not kidding. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
He pulls my bottoms off and smiles as he looks me over.
“Nice,” he says. “I love the little white cotton panties. Very innocent.”
I feel my face flush as his fingers graze over the thin layer of material and up my stomach. He lowers himself to me and kisses me with a passion that lights me on fire. I open my mouth, wanting his tongue to invade me, and it does. He explores my mouth and tastes my tongue and devours my lips and leaves me wanting more. He moans into the kiss, and I wince, grabbing the back of his shirt.
I somehow manage to get it up and off him, and I feed my hands over his shoulders. I love the feel of his bare chest against mine. His hands move up and down my sides, working their way between us. I feel his fingers against my panties again, this time pushing past the material and sliding into the folds of my pussy. He plays there, as my hips move back and forth wanting more.
I attempt to pull him to me, but he pulls away to watch my body respond to his touch. I try to relax, but my self-consciousness shows through.
He presses his hand into my lower stomach causing a pressure that heightens my sexual excitement. I close my eyes to wish my apprehensions away, feeling a blast of warm air between my legs. My eyes fly open, and I look down to see his mouth covering me through my panties. He is puffing warm air into the material that agonizingly barricades my pussy from him.
I reach down and bury my fingers into his hair, pulling him in and spreading my legs wider for him. He hooks his finger in my underwear and yanks them to the side before his tongue slides inside me. I yelp and hold my breath for fear of orgasming instantly at his touch.
He moves between the lips of my pussy and teases me with his fingers as he groans and repositions himself for more of me.
“Lucas,” I breathe. “I can’t….”
“Hmmm.” The vibration of his voice triggers me, and I feel my orgasm grab hold of me, swirling around me, causing my thoughts to scatter and my muscles to tighten.
I thrust my pelvis toward him again and again until the orgasm lets me go and lets me breathe again.
