A middle-aged woman raised her hand.
“Yes, Sister Marshall,” Curtis said.
The woman stood up. “First, I just want to say how happy I am that you’re talking about temptation tonight. As you know, I’ve been clean and sober for five years, but lately it’s really been a struggle. I don’t want to use again, but sometimes I can hear a voice in my head, swearing that if I take just one hit, I’ll be able to walk away and never do it again. I’m still going to my meetings, but my thoughts have really started to scare me.”
“That’s understandable, and the reason the enemy is speaking to you and trying to trick you is because he knows what your weakness is. He’s feeding you every lie he can conjure up, waiting for you to fall prey to his deception. And all this means is that you’re going to have to pray even more diligently and frequently than you have been. In addition to that, I, along with Pastor Sullivan, will also pray with you before you leave here this evening.”
“I really appreciate that, Pastor.”
“That’s what we’re here for, and thank you for standing up and being honest. I realize that’s not always easy to do, but being transparent is the only way any of us can get the help we need. The other thing, too, is that you can best believe you’re not the only person in here struggling with temptation. Wondering what to do and how to fight it. But the God we serve is true to His Word, and that’s what we’re going to stand on.”
Sister Marshall took her seat, and Alicia tuned her father out altogether. She could barely sit still because during her drive over to Mitchell, she’d heard a voice telling her that maybe Levi was right. Maybe being with the man she was most attracted to was the right thing to do—being with the man who drove her wild with the kind of pleasure and excitement she couldn’t seem to get enough of. She’d dismissed that voice and continued on her way, but now, as she sat between Phillip and Melanie and looked toward her father, she heard the voice again. Everyone deserves to be happy. Follow your heart. Do what makes you feel good. Call Levi and tell him you want to see him.
Alicia wished she could run out of there. Wished she hadn’t bothered to come to Bible study period. She’d thought her dad would make her feel better, but if anything, all he’d done was convince her that the devil was after her and he wasn’t going to let up. She wasn’t sure how to deal with something like that because the scripture he’d just read, Matthew 26:41, described her far too well. Her spirit was indeed willing, but her flesh was weak. And she couldn’t help the way she felt. She didn’t want to care about Levi, or actually be with him for that matter, but she was drawn to everything about him. The way he treated her, the way he talked to her, and how good he looked. She’d been trying to deny her real feelings for him, but somehow sitting here in the Lord’s house, of all places, she’d discovered what the truth was.
Alicia snapped out of her trance and heard her father reading out loud, “‘Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.’” Alicia recognized Romans 12:2 right away, as her father had recited that scripture on many occasions. He’d always loved the entire book of Romans—his favorite was chapter 7—because of the way he identified with Paul.
Alicia watched her father and everyone else studying scripture and discussing the topic of the devil and temptation, but all she wanted was to head back to Covington Park. She knew Phillip would want her to spend the night there in Mitchell, but she couldn’t take the chance of his seeing how bewildered she was. There was a part of her that wanted nothing more than to listen to that relentless voice in her head, but there was also the part of her that loved Phillip—the part that was indebted to him for forgiving her, loving her, and trusting her again.
So what was she going to do? How was she going to get herself out of this mess of a situation? She had no answers, and she guessed only time would tell.
Chapter 16
Melanie opened her long plush robe and let it drop to the floor. She even removed the silver chain-link bracelet that she’d left on by accident before going to bed. She never wanted anything, not even jewelry or underwear, adding to her final body weight. At the office, some people never so much as took off heavy athletic shoes when the nurse asked them to step onto the scale, but Melanie had learned a long time ago that certain shoes or jeans could add as much as three pounds that weren’t yours.
She stood on the scale and waited for the digital readout. She’d lost another two pounds, and she was ecstatic. This made a total of four pounds in just three days, so she could tell that doubling up her workouts had helped make a difference. What she’d also noticed is how now that she’d made it past her third day, she didn’t feel hungry during most hours, which meant eating no food and only drinking shakes would be a breeze.
She strolled down the hallway and entered their spacious walk-in closet. Melanie’s clothing, both dress and casual, lined top and bottom racks on one wall, and Brad’s was on the opposite one. The back wall held their shoes, and a large island-like wooden square in the center housed a number of dresser drawers. Melanie opened one of them and pulled out a T-shirt, a sports bra, and a pair of workout pants. After she slipped everything on, she walked out to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, putting on her socks and gym shoes. Brad had worked out and showered much earlier than normal and was already getting dressed for work, but since they still weren’t speaking, she didn’t question him. After their big blow-up on Tuesday evening, they’d gone to bed angry and had turned their backs to each other like enemies. Then, yesterday morning, they’d said barely ten words. Melanie hated when they were fighting, but she also wanted Brad to know how serious this was and that she wouldn’t tolerate the way he was throwing away his life’s savings. She’d actually wanted to make up with him last night, but by the time she’d gotten home from Bible study he’d still been working in his office on the first floor, and she’d gone to bed. She wasn’t even sure what time he’d come upstairs, although the fact that they’d gone to sleep a second night without talking did bother her.
Melanie remembered a number of things from the premarital counseling sessions they’d had with Pastor Black, but one of his suggestions had stood out the most: “No matter how angry you get or how heated your argument is, never, ever go to bed mad and not speaking.” Both Melanie and Brad had taken that piece of advice to heart, and they’d always honored it until this week.
When Melanie finished tying her shoelaces, she saw Brad inserting a cuff link into the left sleeve of his shirt. He could certainly do that on his own, but normally he asked her to do it for him just because. It was sort of their ritual whenever he wore French-cuff dress shirts. Melanie stood up and Brad looked at her through the mirror.
“So how long is this going to go on?” he asked.
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“Whether you believe me or not, I meant what I said. I won’t let this kind of thing happen again.”
“I hope that’s true,” she said, moving closer to the door.
Brad grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him, holding her. “I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed, and I’m sorry I upset you.”
Melanie hugged him back. “I’m really worried about us. We’re still not spending quality time together, and lately, we’ve argued about everything. We’re so disconnected.”
“We’re gonna be fine, and as soon as this case is settled or the trial is over, we’re taking a vacation somewhere. No less than seven days.”
“I would love that.”
“Then you should start looking. Wherever you wanna go will be great.”
“Any tropical island will do.”
“Sounds good to me, baby,” he said, pecking her on the lips and releasing her. “And as much as I hate to run, I really need to get to the office to prepare for an eight o’clock meeting.”
They kissed again, Brad grabbed his black leather briefcase, and they walked down
to the kitchen. Melanie felt so much more relaxed and was glad they’d made up. But then their home phone rang, and her parents’ name and number displayed on the caller ID screen.
“Gosh, not this early in the morning,” Melanie said out loud, debating whether to answer. If it were her father calling she wouldn’t feel so hesitant, but since her father rarely called anybody, she knew it had to be her mother. It was better to get this over with now, however, rather than later, because she knew her mother would keep calling until she spoke with her.
“Hello?” Melanie said.
“What took you so long? One more ring, and it would have gone to voice mail.”
“I was getting ready to work out.”
“Good. Because ever since I saw you at lunch the other day, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Overeating and not controlling your appetite goes against God’s Word. Proverbs twenty-three, verse two, says, ‘And put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite.’ As a matter of fact, overdoing anything is a sin.”
Was she serious? Melanie knew she needed to lose weight and that she had to do a better job of watching what she ate, but now she was breaking God’s law?
“Mom, I really don’t think that applies to me. I’m not some glutton. I’m not obsessed with food. I just have a hard time staying a certain size.”
“Then you’re not praying about it enough. You’re not focused on it the way you should be.”
“Mom, I have to go.”
“Wait. The reason I called you is to see what you and Brad are planning for your dad. You know this Sunday is Father’s Day. To be honest, I’ve been a little mad at him, so I wasn’t planning to celebrate anything. I’m over it now, though.”
“Brad’s working a lot of hours, but we’ll definitely get by there to bring Dad his gift.”
“And that’s it? What about dinner?”
“Does Dad even wanna go to dinner? You know how laid-back he is.”
“Of course he wants to go. What, you don’t want to take him?”
“I never said that.”
“Well, that’s what it sounds like to me. You only have one father, Melanie. And only one mother, for that matter. We hardly ever see you as it is. Maybe for a few minutes after church on Sundays, and then at Bible study you always sit with Alicia and Phillip.”
Melanie didn’t respond, because she knew what her mother was saying was true. She did keep her distance. And who wouldn’t? What child in her right mind would purposely spend lots of time with a mother who treated her like she wasn’t good enough and never would be? Then, as far as Melanie’s father, he’d stopped criticizing her a long time ago, but because he’d ridiculed her for so many years, their relationship was still pretty strained, too. As a child, Melanie had learned to guard her feelings as best as she could, and this had meant blocking the special kind of love most children had for their parents. She’d figured out at an early age that if you stopped yourself from loving and caring about someone, that same someone wouldn’t be able to hurt you as badly. You would still be hurt, but not to nearly the same extent.
“Are you still there, Melanie?”
“I’m here, Mom, and yes, we’ll meet you and Dad for dinner on Sunday. I’ll make reservations somewhere today.”
“No need. I already made them yesterday.”
Melanie shook her head. “Where?”
“At The Tuxson, of course. I know it’s the most expensive restaurant in town, but it’s not like you and Brad can’t afford it.”
“Is that all?”
“Since you’re rushing me off the phone, I guess it is. Oh, and it might be nice if you wore that new suit of yours. The fuchsia one.”
“So now the clothes I wear to church aren’t good enough, either?”
“No, they’re fine. For whatever reason, you always buy nice dress suits. I’m just letting you know which color looks good on you. But never mind, you wear what you want. I’ll talk to you later.”
When they hung up, Melanie had to take a deep breath. Her mother always wore her out, whether on the phone or in person, and she was already dreading this dinner date on Father’s Day. Melanie didn’t mind going out with her dad, but her mother was a different story. She also wasn’t sure what she was going to do when it came time to order something from the menu. Although, if she lost at least another two pounds by Sunday and worked out both before church and before going to bed that evening, she was sure she could have a salad and not ruin her progress. Yes, a salad, a glass of water, and nothing else would be fine.
Chapter 17
Alicia’s phone rang, and she looked over at the clock. It was already noon, and Phillip was calling from the church.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey, you. Were you sleeping?”
“No, just tired, so I decided to lie down for a while.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I’m sure your eyes need a break from all that reading, anyway. How much more do you have?”
“I’m almost finished.”
“Good. Well, it’s not like I was calling for anything in particular. Just wanted to tell you I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’m so glad tomorrow is Friday, so we can spend the next three days together. This sleeping-in-separate-cities thing is starting to get old.”
“I know,” she said. “I feel the same way.”
“I’m actually planning to work only half a day tomorrow; that way I can drive over early afternoon instead of tomorrow evening.”
“That’ll be great.”
“If you finish up with your manuscript, maybe we can get some dinner and catch a movie.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Okay, then, I guess I’ll let you go. Especially since somebody needs to get back to work,” he said, laughing.
“Yeah, I really do, and I’m going to as soon as we hang up.”
“Call me tonight. And again, baby, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Alicia ended the call and set her phone on the nightstand. She laid her head back on the pillow and covered her face with both hands.
Levi turned toward her, propping his elbow on the bed. “Sweetheart, you’re going to have to tell him the truth.”
“I’ll never be able to do that. I just can’t.”
“Baby, we can’t go on like this forever.”
“Levi, I shouldn’t even be here. You know that, and so do I.”
“But you are here. And you came because you wanted to.”
Sadly, Levi was right. Because last night, when Alicia had left Bible study to drive back to her condo, it had taken everything in her not to call Levi to ask him to meet her at his friend’s house. But thankfully, after praying, she’d made it home without contacting him. She still hadn’t been able to keep her mind off him, though, and this morning Levi had texted her, telling her he wanted to see her. She’d told herself once again that she would go meet him but only so she could break things off with him forever. She’d been sure she’d be strong enough to do it, especially after hearing her dad teach on the subject he’d chosen for Bible study, but her desire for Levi had been more fierce than she’d realized.
Now the two of them had been in bed for the last two hours.
Levi stroked her hair. “The only way out of this is to tell him the wedding is off. You need to be honest with him about everything.”
Alicia finally removed her hands from her face and looked at Levi. “How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t hurt Phillip like that? I could never put him through that kind of pain again.”
“Don’t you think you’re hurting him worse by being with me behind his back?”
“Yeah, but the difference is he doesn’t know about it. He would never guess in ten lifetimes that I would betray him like this again. Especially with the same man I slept with before.”
“If you and I weren’t supposed to be together, you would have already married him. I also wouldn’t be out of p
rison. I told you the other day that you can’t stop destiny. This is ours, and you can’t change that.”
“I disagree. Because just last night, my dad was talking about temptation and how even if you want to do the right thing, sometimes the flesh won’t allow you.”
“Matthew twenty-six, forty-one, right?”
“I guess you really have been reading the Bible.”
“Did you think I was lying when I told you that?”
“No, but not everyone can remember the exact chapter and verse of a certain scripture. Plus, it wasn’t like I actually quoted what my dad said word for word.”
“Doesn’t matter. I recognize lots of scriptures, and if you wanna know the truth, I’ve had to study and recite that one a lot.”
“Why?”
“So I won’t be drawn back into the life. I promised God that if He got me out of prison, I wouldn’t sell drugs or do anything illegal.”
“It must be hard giving up the kind of money you were used to making.”
“Yeah, but I wanna do the right thing. I want to live a plain ol’ normal life like most people.”
The Ultimate Betrayal Page 8
