Brad leaned against the dresser. “Just look at you. Your face is so thin, you look like one of those anorexic supermodels. Your neck is smaller than a ten-year-old’s, and your butt has all but vanished.”
Melanie tossed him a dirty look. “You’re just worried that other men might finally be interested in me. When I was overweight, that was the least of your worries, but now you know I look ten times better. And don’t get me started on how little you and I see each other. You’re gone all the time, doing God knows what, and I’m sick of it, Brad.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I have to work, Melanie. I can’t be here every evening right at five or spend all my weekends having a good time. We’re representing one of our biggest clients, and I need to stay focused.”
“So how much more money have you gambled away this month?” she said, changing the subject. “You’ve already messed over forty thousand dollars, and I know that’s not the end of it.”
“First of all, I don’t gamble. And secondly, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about your anorexia.”
Melanie laughed like he was a comedian. “Anorexia! Now I know you’ve lost your mind.”
“Laugh all you want, but you’re sick, Mel. You can’t see what everyone else sees. You look pitiful and malnourished, and if you keep this nonsense up you’ll be laid up in a hospital.”
“You’re the one who’s sick. You’re throwing away all your savings, and when it’s over you’ll have nothing. Actually, I think you’re doing a lot more than trading stocks. You’re probably gambling just like I said. So tell me, Brad, what is it? Horses, casinos, the lottery? Whatever it is, you’re addicted to it and I suggest you join a twelve-step program.”
“I’m not addicted to anything.”
“Then how do you explain throwing away forty thousand dollars in four months? Are you saying that’s normal?”
Brad narrowed his eyes. “It’s my money, and I can do whatever I want with it.”
“You know what?” she said, tossing the remote onto the bed. “You’re right. It is your money, so from now on we’re separating everything. I’m also taking every dime of mine from both of those money market accounts we have together.” Brad didn’t know it, but she’d been checking the balances of those two accounts every few days, making sure he wasn’t dipping into them as well.
Brad turned away from her. “You do whatever you feel you have to. That still won’t change the fact that you’re anorexic. You’re sick, and you need to be admitted to a treatment facility.”
“The only sickness I’m dealing with is you,” she said, standing up and storming out of the bedroom.
She rushed downstairs to the kitchen and pulled her shake from the refrigerator. She was to the point where she looked forward to drinking each of them. They tasted just that good, and she’d also gone back to eating a salad. Not at lunchtime the way she had before, but for dinner. Her third shake of the day had become her nighttime snack. She hadn’t planned on eating any solid food until she was sure she could maintain her weight, but a couple of weeks ago when she’d found herself feeling a little light-headed at work and unable to concentrate, she’d changed her mind. She still took her potassium pills and multivitamins and drank plenty of water, but eating salads had made her feel that much better. She didn’t eat small salads either, because what she’d discovered was that eating a large one with cucumbers, carrots, mushrooms, and lettuce hadn’t stopped her from losing weight. She was sure that her discipline toward working out twice per day was also helping.
Brad walked into the kitchen, fully dressed in a navy blue pinstripe suit. He laid his briefcase on the island and poured a cup of coffee. Melanie had set the timer last night so that it would automatically brew this morning, but now she wished she hadn’t. After all the nasty things Brad had said about her, she didn’t want to do anything for him. He’d actually had the audacity to say she looked sickly and anorexic. What a joke. Brad was a joke, too, and it was the reason she laughed in his face. He picked up his coffee cup and gawked at her like she was crazy. But Melanie laughed louder, and soon he walked out to the garage and slammed the door behind him. This tickled Melanie even more, because Brad no longer fazed her. He could lose every nickel to his name for all she cared. She hadn’t wanted their marriage to turn out like this, but she wouldn’t spend any more time worrying about Brad and his addiction. She wouldn’t keep defending her weight loss to him, either. She would focus only on what made her happy—whether Brad liked it or not.
Chapter 28
Melanie turned onto her parents’ street and drove toward their house. When it came to the changing of seasons, there was nothing better than autumn colors. The leaves on every tree were transforming from green to brown, orange, gold, yellow, or burgundy, and there were lots of variations of colors in between. Some had already fallen to the ground. Melanie loved summer, but she also enjoyed sunny, semi-cool days like today when the temperature was just under fifty and she could wear ankle boots and a leather jacket. She hadn’t been able to wait until she could pull out her sweaters again, either, one of which she was wearing today. A chocolate-brown one to be exact, which perfectly matched her brown jacket and boots.
She drove into the driveway and turned off her ignition. She leaned her head back, gazing at the brick house and thinking of childhood memories. She had lots of them, and sadly, most were humiliating and heartbreaking. Her parents had done things to embarrass her, her mother had criticized everything about her, and her father had called her terrible names. She was sure—at least she hoped—there had been some happy times, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember any. It had been that appalling, and what she recalled more than anything was how badly she’d wanted to run away. Then, by the time she’d reached her senior year of high school, she’d counted down the days until graduation. She’d done so because she’d known that once she graduated, it would only be two months before she left for college. She’d finally been able to escape, and she’d made sure to never come home on weekends. Sometimes she hadn’t even come home for holidays, and during all her summer breaks she’d worked two jobs just so she wouldn’t have to spend much time with her parents.
What was interesting was that after all these years, she still wasn’t thrilled about being here. Only difference now, as well as over the last three months, was that she’d become closer with her dad, and she could tell he needed her. He’d survived open-heart surgery but was still off work, and he would be for at least another month or so.
Melanie got out of her car, walked up the sidewalk to the front door, and rang the bell.
It took a few seconds before her mother opened the door. She looked at Melanie and turned away without speaking. She’d been doing this as of late, but Melanie wouldn’t let it bother her.
Melanie closed the door and went into the family room, where her dad was.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said, smiling and sitting in a large recliner.
“Hi, Dad. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m makin’ it, I guess. I still get pretty tired when I get up, though.”
Melanie didn’t have the courage to tell him that gaining twenty pounds right after having a quadruple bypass wasn’t helping. It was as if he’d literally taken each of the pounds Melanie had lost and poured them into his own body. He ate all the time, and no matter what she or her mother said, he wouldn’t quit. Of course, her mother had lost all respect for him as a man and as her husband. The other thing Melanie thought about was her former patient Mrs. Weston, the one she’d changed the blood pressure medication for back in June. Just a month ago, she’d had a massive heart attack, and unlike Melanie’s dad, Mrs. Weston had passed away.
“You’re on a lot of different medications, so that might be causing some of the problem,” Melanie said. “Your beta blocker and one of your hypertension pills are known to cause fatigue, and your statin drug, too.”
Gladys walked in on their conversation, and Melanie knew it wouldn’t be pretty.
“Maybe if you stopped eating like some sumo wrestler and got off your big, fat behind, you’d feel a whole lot better. It was bad enough that you’d already started gaining weight before your surgery, but now you look ridiculous.”
Melanie wanted to cry for her dad. His face squealed hurt and humiliation, but he glanced over at the television and didn’t say anything. That didn’t stop Gladys, however.
“When are you going to start eating the right things, Andrew? I mean, what is it you want? To have another heart attack? Keel over and die next time? What?”
“Gladys, please leave me alone.”
“What I wish is that I could leave you, period. You disgust me. I don’t even like looking at you anymore, and I’m not sure what you expect me to do about sex. You’re too heavy to lay on me, and I doubt you can get it up with all that medication you’re on. It’s been three months, and this is so unfair to me. If all those blocked arteries hadn’t been your own fault, I might have some sympathy for you, but they were your fault. You ate whatever you wanted, just like your daughter always did from the time she was born. Even as an infant, she drank bottle after bottle of milk. She never got enough. It was almost like she didn’t know she was full, and now you’re acting the same way.
Melanie could barely breathe. First her mother had berated her dad to a pulp, and now she was doing the same thing to Melanie—except she was talking about Melanie in the third person. She acted as though Melanie was a non-entity and wasn’t in the room. Her mother was flat-out crazy.
“And don’t get me started on the money situation around here. Short-term disability was one thing, but now that you’ve been off ninety days, you’ll have to use your long-term benefits. You haven’t had a regular payroll check since you got sick, and all because you didn’t take care of yourself.”
Andrew suddenly spoke up. “Weren’t you on your way to the store?”
Gladys placed her hand on her hip. “Excuse me? How dare you sit your roly-poly butt over there, trying to dismiss me.”
“I just don’t wanna hear it, Gladys. Enough is enough.”
“You’re right about that. Enough is definitely going to be enough if you don’t drop some of that weight and get back to work.”
Melanie shook her head.
“Oh, so now you’re ready for me to leave, too, I guess. I forgot that you and your daddy here have become thick as thieves.”
“Mom, why do you do this? Why are you always so angry?”
“Just shut up, Melanie,” she said, grabbing her handbag and leaving the room. Not long after, Melanie heard the back door closing.
“I am so sorry, sweetheart,” Andrew said.
Melanie sat in the chair across from him. “Don’t worry about it, Dad.”
“But I do worry about it, and I’m not just talking about today. I’m talking about the way your mother has treated you all your life, and how I never did anything to stop her. That’s why I apologized to you that night in the hospital and asked you to forgive me. I didn’t wanna die without making amends.”
“And I told you then that I forgive you.”
“I know that, but you didn’t deserve all that name-calling from me and all the nasty criticism from your mother. And then when you were much younger, we said and did everything in front of you. I’m so ashamed of that, Mel. We were wrong, and if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to make things up to you, I will.”
“I’m just glad I can be here for you now.”
“I’m glad, too, and I’m very proud of you. There’s something else I need to say to you, though, and I’m not sure you’ll like it. But it’s important, and it needs to be said.”
“What’s that?”
“You’ve lost a lot of weight, and you don’t look healthy. I know you think you’re doing the right thing, but it’s time to stop now, sweetheart.”
Melanie wasn’t sure how to take her father’s words. She didn’t know whether to be enraged, shocked, hurt, or all of the above.
“I’m sorry to have to say these things, but sweetheart, you need help. You lost down to a good size years ago, but your mother had you thinking it still wasn’t enough.”
“Have you been talking to Brad?”
“No, but I can imagine he’s feeling the same way.”
“Look, Dad, I’m fine. And the only reason I don’t look the same to you is because you’ve never seen me at the size I’m supposed to be. I’m well within the standard weight range for a woman who’s five-nine.”
“That may be, but you don’t look like you’re eating enough food.”
Melanie didn’t want to upset her father by questioning him any further, but she knew Brad had to be behind this. He’d called her father and put him up to this mini-intervention.
“Sweetheart, please don’t be mad at me. I just don’t want you to get sick, and I want you to be happy.”
“I promise you I’m okay.”
“I know you think you are, but you’re not. I know the signs of an eating disorder when I see them. I’ve lived with this kind of thing for years.”
“How?”
“I’m talking about your mother. She’s struggled with anorexia the whole time I’ve known her, and that started way before you were born.”
Melanie frowned. “Mom’s not anorexic, she’s just always watched her weight and been a healthy eater.”
“I know it seems that way because she eats regular food, and as much as I hate to say it, she taught you at an early age that this was normal. But she rarely eats more than a thousand calories. And whenever she does, she skips food altogether the very next day. She’s done that for years.”
“But when we’ve gone to lunch, I’ve seen her eat regular meals. She might only eat half of it, but it’s still solid food.”
“Yeah, and you can bet that she hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast, and she certainly didn’t eat anything else for the rest of the day.”
Melanie had a hard time processing what her dad was saying. None of it added up.
“She’s obsessed with her weight, and now that I’m way too heavy, she can’t stand the sight of me,” he said. “To tell you the truth, I’ve always loved food and lots of it. But it never made me gain weight until this year. I’m older, and things have changed.”
Melanie was at a loss for words. Was her father right about her mother, or was he one of those people who thought every woman who cared about the way she looked was anorexic? Because from what she could see, her mother looked great. She was an awful human being, but she looked fabulous in everything she wore. Melanie also couldn’t understand why Brad and her dad thought she looked sickly, because it was obvious that Melanie had never looked better. She was down two sizes, and she was finally happy with herself. Or at least she would be once she lost a bit more. Only five more pounds, and she would be good.
Chapter 29
Alicia had spent most of yesterday crying on and off and trying to figure out what to do next. There was no doubt that what she should have done was block Levi’s cell number and Facebook account, and also his email address. This was something she should have followed through on back in June when he was first released. She’d told herself a couple of times that she would, but that had all been nothing more than a bunch of idle thinking. She didn’t want to end all communication with Levi. Not now, not ever. But she feared that if she continued reading and listening to his messages, it wouldn’t be long before she went to him. Each of his words had tugged at her heart and made her long for him, but none had affected her as much as the note he’d sent her yesterday. Levi had laid everything out with all the right logic and sentiments, and she couldn’t argue with any of what he’d written. He was definitely her soul mate, and he was the only man she loved with her entire being. They were connected in a way she couldn’t explain, and no matter how hard she tried, she would never share that same kind of chemistry with Phillip. He was a good man with a good heart, but she couldn’t control who she loved. No one could do th
at, and anyone who claimed otherwise was lying.
What she’d also learned was that not everyone’s soul mate would be the ideal choice. Take Levi, for example. Here he was a former drug dealer who’d served time in prison, and Alicia was a college-educated writer and a pastor’s daughter. They’d come from totally different backgrounds and had lived completely different lives, yet they could relate to each other on every level. If only she could have fallen in love with Levi before marrying Phillip the first time…
Alicia wondered how many other women secretly felt the same as she did: married to men who were great in almost every regard, but whom they weren’t in love with. She had a feeling there were thousands who fell into that category. She was sure, too, that there were just as many men who didn’t love their wives. These people were merely living in the house together, believing they had no other choice. Most of them had lost out on being with their true soul mates because they’d feared what others might say. This was part of the reason Alicia hadn’t been able to break off her second engagement to Phillip so she could marry Levi. No one would have understood or approved of their relationship.
Alicia glanced at her watch and saw that it was almost ten. Phillip had been gone for more than an hour, and she’d had no idea so much time had passed. It felt as though she’d only been sitting there for ten minutes, meaning she’d done more fantasizing about Levi than she’d realized. She jumped when her cell phone rang because if it was Levi, she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to ignore him today. Thankfully, when she picked it up, she saw Brad’s number.
“Hey, Brad,” she said.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good. What’s goin’ on?”
“Well, you know if I’m calling you in the middle of a Friday morning, it’s pretty bad.”
“Oh no. What’s wrong?”
“It’s Mel. She’s steadily not eating and steadily losing weight, and she won’t hear anything I’m saying.”
The Ultimate Betrayal Page 14
