by Amy Sedaris
Try black cherries with black cherry concentrate (from the health food store).
Courtesy of Bob Evans.
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
I am pretty faithful to the true original Nestle Toll House cookie recipe on the back of the bag. I just add more morsels and double the vanilla.
2 sticks unsalted butter ¾ cup of sugar
¾ cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 t pure vanilla extract
1 t baking soda
1½ t salt
2¼ cups flour
¾ cup chopped pecans
18 oz. semisweet chocolate chips (1½ bags)
Beat butter and sugars together. Add eggs and vanilla. Gradually add flour, salt, soda.
Stir in the chocolate chips and nuts.
Chill.
Roll into small balls and flatten in palm of hand so it looks like a flattened crab cake or medicated face pad.
Place on greased cookie sheet. Bake for about 9–11 minutes at 375 degrees.
GRAPE ROOT BEER FLOAT
Take 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream and put it in your favorite frosted glass.
Pour as much grape soda as you can on top until the head rises above the rim.
CHOCOLATE MILK SHAKE
Add chocolate ice cream and milk in a blender and blend.
Pour into tall glass.
VANILLA MILK SHAKE
Mix vanilla ice cream and milk in a blender and blend. Pour into a tall glass.
FRUIT SALAD
This was my favorite food growing up. All I remember is mixing canned fruit cocktail with whipped cream.
I am sure more goes into it but that’s how I remember making it.
BOB EVANS’S BOURBON APPLE PIE
5 to 7 apples (use a combination of two or three tart, sweet, juicy, flavorful apples such as Staymen Winesap, Jonagold, Golden Delicious, Pink Lady)
2/3 cup sugar, divided
1 cup bourbon whiskey
2 tsp. cornstarch
(more or less)
1/16 tsp. cinnamon
1/16 tsp. ginger
6 gratings fresh nutmeg
1 pie pastry (store-bought, refrigerated)
Milk
Heat 1/3 cup of sugar in a deep heavy pan over medium-high heat until melted. Reduce heat to medium-low and stir continuously until sugar is moderately caramelized, about the color of clover honey or darker if you prefer. Remove from heat and immediately pour the whiskey s-l-o-w-l-y over the sugar to stop the caramelization. Return the pan to the heat and allow the hardened sugar to dissolve. Reduce to a thin syrup and set aside.
Peel, core, and thickly slice the apples. In a small bowl, combine the other 1/3 cup of sugar (use more or less depending on the sweetness of the apples and the desired result), cornstarch, cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg. Add the sugar mixture to the apples and mix gently to coat. Place half of the apples in a deep 10-inch piecrust, arranging them to fit closely together. Warm the syrup if necessary and pour over the first layer of apples. Spread the dry apples over the first layer of apples. Place the remaining apples on top. Position apples to mound slightly high towards the center.
Preheat oven to 375°. Place the pastry on top of the apples, fold inward any excess pastry and press to the sides of the pie plate to seal. Brush the top of the pastry with milk and rub it in lightly with your fingers. Remove any milk puddles by blotting with a paper towel. Sprinkle sugar liberally and evenly over the top and cut three or four 1-inch steam vents in the crust.
Cover edges of pie with foil. Bake for about 50 minutes until dark golden brown and crusty (remove the foil for the last few minutes to allow the edge to brown well without burning).
SUSAN AND GRACIE’S AMAZING BUTTER COOKIES
1-1/3 cup of unsalted butter
1-½ cup of sugar
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
2 eggs
8 teaspoons of milk
4 cups of flour
3 teaspoons of baking powder
Mix all ingredients together and refrigerate overnight. Roll dough out (I use 2 pieces of wax paper and a rolling pin, floured if needed) and use cookie cutters to make your shapes. Place on a greased cookie sheet and bake for 6–8 minutes at 375 degrees.
Get your cookies to room temperature and refigerate overnight. Frost cookies next day (see frosting recipe, below) and place the cookies back in refrigerator for another night until the frosting hardens on cookie. You cannot eat enough of these.
Frosting:
1 box confectioners’ sugar
¼ cup of half-and-half
1 stick of unsalted butter
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
Mix longer than usual. It’s good to decorate these cookies with a cinnammon Red Hot on top. Also, this is a good dough to dye a different color, like red or green.
PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES
Mix:
1 stick of unsalted butter
½ cup of sugar
½ cup of brown sugar
Beat in: 1 egg.
Add: 1 teaspoon of pure vanilla
Add: ¾ cup of peanut butter (I prefer crunchy)
Combine: ½ teaspoon of salt, ½ teaspoon of soda,
1½ cups of flour
Add dry ingredients to moist ones. Roll into balls. Place on greased cookie sheet and press with a fork.
Bake at 350 degrees for 11 minutes.
LULA’S BROWN SUGAR PIE
(Makes one very large or two small)
2 cups brown sugar
1 tablespoon flour
3 eggs beaten
1/3 cup melted butter
½ cup milk
Pinch salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Mix all ingredients. Pour into uncooked pie shells. Cook at 400 degrees (preheat) about 30 minutes.
It’s soft in middle when done. (Add pecan meats before cooking for delicious pecan pie.)
“This recipe came from Lula Barksdale, a black woman who worked as a cook for my maternal grandparents in Danville, Virginia, in the early 1920s. My mother, Bebe Dickenson, was a small child at the time, but she learned the recipe and continued using it for the rest of her life. The recipe card is in my mom’s handwriting.
“Lula Barksdale always made her Brown Sugar Pie at Christmastime, and she was the one who introduced my family to the concept of Christmas Zar, an obscure Southern Negro holiday observed on December 23rd. We white folks never knew the precise meaning of Christmas Zar, but the Dickenson and Wyatt families embraced it joyfully and and have always considered it a high point of the season.
“In the 1990s my dad wrote: ‘Lula has long since passed away, but it would be interesting to know where she learned the name Zar in reference to the day before Christmas Eve. It’s possible that the word was passed down to her from the days of slavery.’
“I recently came across some information that may shed light on the significance of Christmas Zar. In the writings of author and folklorist Zora Neale Hurston there’s an entry she calls ‘Negro Mythological Places.’ One of these places is Zar, described as ‘the farthest known point of the imagination, way on the other side of far.’
“It’s also possible that the word derives from the ancient Zar cult found in Sudan, Egypt, and Ethiopia. This is a women’s cult that involves trance dancing, spirit possession, ritualistic drumming, chanting, hair tossing, and animal sacrifice. The idea is to cure an illness caused by a demon. Combine all this with the concept of Christmas, throw in some Brown Sugar Pie, and I’d say you’ve got one heck of a holiday . . .”
—Marshall Wyatt, N.C.
BAILIWICK GINGERSNAPS
4 cups flour
4 teaspoon baking soda
3 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons ginger
1½ teaspoon cloves
3 sticks (1½ cups) margarine, melted
½ cup molasses
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
Sugar to press into cookies
Mix dry
ingredients (except sugar) in a bowl. In mixer add margarine, molasses, sugar and mix well. Add eggs and incorporate well. Add dry ingredients and mix. Refrigerate dough for several hours, overnight is best. Roll into balls about one inch in size. Place 13 at a time on a cookie sheet and press out with a flat-bottomed glass (rocks or highball) rubbed with margarine and dipped in sugar. Bake at 350˚F for 8–9 minutes. Yields 7 dozen.
Courtesy of Ann McCullen.
LUMBERJACK’S VANISHING OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES
2 unsalted sticks of softened butter
1 cup of brown sugar
½ cup of sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons of pure vanilla extract
1½ cups of flour
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
½ teaspoon of salt
1¼ cup raisins
3 cups of oatmeal
1½ cup raisins
Cream butter and sugars together. Add vanilla and eggs. Mix all the dry ingredients and add to batter, then add your raisins.
Chill the dough. Form into balls, flatten (with hand). Bake on a greased cookie sheet, at 375 degrees for about 10–12 minutes.
KOURAMBIETHES (POWDERED BUTTER COOKIES)
Makes 4 dozen cookies.
2 sticks of unsalted butter
1 egg yolk
2¼ cups of flour divided
½ teaspoon baking powder
1½ cups of confectioners’ sugar, divided
3 tablespoons of brandy
1 teapoon of vanilla extract
½ cups of almonds, finely chopped and toasted
Cream your butter for 10 minutes in a mixing bowl, until fluffy.
Add ½ cup confectioners’ sugar. Beat for 5 minutes.
Beat in egg yolk, vanilla, and brandy.
Combine baking powder with 1 cup flour, and beat into butter mixture.
Add almonds and enough flour to form a soft dough. The dough should not be sticking to the sides of the bowl.
To shape the cookies, take a walnut-size piece of dough and roll it into a crescent shape. Place cookies on a foil-lined baking sheet, and bake at 350 degrees F for 20 minutes, or until tanned. Remove and place on a cooling rack. Let cookies cool for about 5 minutes.
Sprinkle the confectioners’ sugar on a large sheet of wax paper. Transfer the cookies (should still be a little hot) to the paper, placing them close together, and dust with confectioners’ sugar.
When cool, place each cookie in a cupcake wrapper and fit them closely to one another in a shirt box.
Some people will suggest that you push a clove down into the cookie before baking.
If you ever have a toothache, you can kill the pain by placing a whole clove right up against that tooth. Cloves are very expensive.
ANTONIA’S KOULOURAKI (GREEK COOKIE TWISTS)
1 pound Land O Lakes butter, softened
2 tablespoons Crisco
1 pound sugar
2 whole eggs and 4 yolks
5 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
6½ cups flour (enough flour to make the dough soft and kneadable)
For top of cookies:
1 egg yolk
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F.
With a mixer, beat butter and Crisco really well until they are well combined. Add sugar slowly, beating thoroughly until mixture is light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the baking powder, yogurt, and vanilla. Add flour, one cup at a time, adding the last of the flour slowly to make sure dough is not too tough. Dough should be soft and kneadable. Pinching off a small amount of dough, roll it into a long strand about a half-inch thick. Strand should look smooth. Fold strand in half and twist. Alternately roll into a circular spiral. Place shapes on baking pan an inch apart. Beat egg yolk in a bowl with 2 tablespoons water and brush over each Koulouraki. Bake in preheated oven for 20–25 minutes until Koulouraki are golden brown. Cool on a baking rack.
SAUSAGE TWIRLS AND DUPLEX CREAMS
¾ cup of graham cracker crumbs
1 tablespoon of sugar
1 tablespoon of melted butter
3 8-oz packages of cream cheese
4 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup of sugar
Topping:
2 cups of sour cream
1 tablespoon of sugar
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine crumbs, sugar, and butter. Press into the bottom of a spring-form pan and refrigerate it. Then beat eggs until light and fluffy. Add sugar gradually, beating well after each addition. Add softened cream cheese and vanilla, then beat thoroughly. Pour into the crumb shell. Bake 35 minutes. Remove from oven. Spread on topping. Bake 5 minutes longer. Cool and refrigerate. Optional: Top with fruit.
COUSIN KATHY’S CHEESECAKE
Sausage Twirls:
1 lb of sausage
1 can of crescent rolls
Make 4 rectangles using the crescent dough. Separate the sausage into 4 parts (uncooked).
Spread the sausages evenly onto the dough. Like a jelly roll, roll each rectangle and slice. Tenderly flatten sausage wheels with hands and place on a baking sheet.
Duplex Creams:
Make any cookie of your choice. Place ice cream of your choice between 2 cookies and kindly press. Then dip the edges of your ice cream wheel into a plate full of jimmies or shredded coconut or chopped nuts. Wrap in Saran Wrap, label it, and place in freezer.
Misc
THWIMP COCKTAIL
Boil shrimp, remove shells.
Arrange on the rim of a glass or serve on top of a bed of lettuce. Serve with lemon wedge and cocktail sauce.
To make sauce: ketchup, horseradish, and lemon. If desired, a little hot sauce.
EXCELLENT SCAMPI APPETIZER
2 lbs fresh shrimp with shells
4 T butter
4 T olive oil
1/3 cup white wine
1 T chopped parsley
½ fresh basil
½ fresh oregano
Salt and pepper
1 T lemon juice
Heat your butter and oil in a frying pan. Add the wine, parsley, basil, oregano, salt and pepper.
Add the shrimp until they start to turn a different color (2–3 minutes). Sprinkle with lemon.
LEMON FISH
Use any kind of baking fish for this, about 2 pounds. Slash the fish in 3 places on each side. Mix some fresh lemon juice with salt and pepper and rub it all over the fish. Place in an oiled baking dish. Take about 1 pound of sliced potatoes and toss them with a little lemon juice, oregano, and olive oil. Place around the fish and drizzle some oil on top of fish and sprinkle a little oregano. Cover pan with a lid or some foil. Cook for 35–40 minutes. Remove lid or foil and cook for another 15–20 minutes or until the potatoes are done.
COLBERT’S SHRIMP PASTE
2 lbs. shrimp, boiled and peeled
¼ tsp. lemon juice
¼ lb. cream cheese
3 tbsp. mayonnaise
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
Dash Tabasco
Dash mace
Salt and pepper
Break shrimp finely. Soften cream cheese. Mix cream cheese well with shrimp and mayonnaise. Add lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, mace. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve molded or in dish with mild crackers, like water crackers or Bremner Wafers.
Courtesy of Stephen Colbert.
SHRIMP AND FETA CHEESE SERVED IN SCALLOP SHELLS
I make this as an appetizer only when I want those fancy serving shells on my table. The shrimp amount depends on how many people you are serving.If it’s 4, figure 5 large shrimp or prawns per person.
Large shrimp or prawns
4 oz. of feta
½ cup of white wine
2 crushed garlic cloves
1 cup of green onions
Olive oil
> Oregano
Sugar, Salt, Pepper
2 cups of crushed tomatoes
Parsley, for garnish
Sauté your onions and garlic in oil until transparent.
Add everything else except shrimp and feta. Cover and cook for about 25 minutes or until the sauce is somewhat thick.
Clean and shell your shrimp, leaving the tail intact, and de-vein them.
If you are serving 4, then spoon ½ of this sauce into the individual scallop shells. Arrange your shrimp on top and then top your shrimp with the remaining sauce and crumble the feta on top. Put in oven at 425 degrees for 15–20 minutes or until the shrimp look pink and the feta has had a chance to melt a little. Top with parsley.
LOX LUMPS
Handful smoked lox lumps
½ chopped onion
1 tbsp butter
½ quart heavy cream
Pasta
Chopped chives
Salt and pepper to taste
Put hot water on the stove for boiling the pasta. Fry ½ chopped onion with butter in a large frying pan until golden.
Add a handful of smoked lox lumps, shredded into smaller pieces. Fry until salmon is milky/pastelly looking. Add heavy cream (approximately half of a quart). Season with salt and pepper (careful because the lox is already salty—you can always add more cream to make it milder).
Have the stuff in the frying pan simmer for a while, while you take care of the pasta—the water should be boiling by now.
When the pasta is done, drain it and put it back in the pot. Add the lox cream mix, stir, and divide on 2–4 plates. Garnish with chopped chives if you like.
Courtesy of Julia Hoffmann.
DEVILED EGGS
12 hard-boiled eggs
¼ cup mayonnaise
1 T mustard
1 T vinegar
1 T sweet pickle relish
Paprika to sprinkle on top
Halve hard-cooked eggs lengthwise, remove the yolk and roughly mash. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Refi ll egg white halves and sprinkle with paprika.
PATTIE HOGGIE’S CRABBIE CAKIES
1 lb lump crabmeat
1 T mayonnaise
1 t mustard
1 T minced onion
Dash Worcestershire sauce
1 egg
½ t old bay seasoning
¼ cup cracker crumbs
Carefully check crabmeat lumps for shells.
In a bowl, combine mayonnaise, mustard, minced onion, Worcestershire sauce, old bay, and egg.
