He let go some, and I knelt in front of him. He wiped his tears with his arms.
“Hello. Alaric. I am. So. Happy. To. Meet. You.” I did each sign slowly, so as not to mess up.
He grinned, signing back faster than I could even hope to follow.
Luella said, drawing his attention, “Alaric, sweetheart, slow down. He doesn’t know all the signs yet. You know when you try to read lips, but they are talking too fast? You are doing the same thing.”
He signed again, and I realized why she both spoke and signed. Watching two people chat with no way of understanding them would be painful and frustrating.
He took a deep breath and looked at me.
“Hi. I. Am. Alaric,” he said, his voice louder than normal. He started to speak again but got frustrated and turned to his mother.
“Don’t worry,” she said, then glanced at me. “He doesn’t like how he talks. He can read lips pretty well but talking is hard.” She turned to him. “I’m here, and I’ll translate. He’s a fast learner, and with us as teachers, he will know how to sign in no time.”
He smiled, talking with his hands.
“He says this is serious, so I have to get it right.”
“No pressure,” I replied, waiting.
He signed slowly, pointing to me once, and she dropped her head, pulling him into a hug lightly before standing.
“What did he say?” I asked eagerly.
“He asked if you were better now, and if you’ll ever get sick again?”
I picked him up and hugged him, hoping he knew I was here to stay.
And I hoped my brother would forgive me for taking everything he’d left behind.
6
Fair and Not Fair.
LUELLA
Be careful and let me know how it goes.
If you need backup, call!
-M
I didn’t realize Eva had left until I got her text. Texting her back a quick ‘thank you’, I walked back to the living room where Alaric held on to Dorian’s neck. To say I hadn’t dreamt of this moment would be a lie. Each time I wondered what would’ve happened if Don had stayed. Dorian had made that dream a reality in a way. Having him care about Alaric was more than I’d hoped for. Alaric was so happy he was almost to the point of crying. I would never forget this or do anything to ruin it. Which meant I’d need to figure out how to not jump Dorian Rhys-Gallagher every time I saw him.
I’d done it twice now.
I’d pushed him.
Once at his home, and now here in this hotel room. I was supposed to be mature, like a mother, smarter. However, every time me looked at me, I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat. Which proved how horrible of a person I was. The first time I was using him because it felt like an alternate reality, one where Donovan and I stayed together and he was alive. The second time I wasn’t sure. My mind was a mess when I was with him. I didn’t want him to feel like I was just substituting him for his brother. Donovan had left me years ago. When I was talking to Dorian, I could clearly see the difference. But in bed…again, messy. Dorian said he was using me too, he wanted to feel good too, but…messy. If we kept acting like horny teenagers, we’d be complicating everything and risking Alaric’s only chance to have a bigger family. I didn’t want to do that.
I was going to act like a damn decent human being for once.
“Lulu, he’s trying to say something.” Dorian looked at me wide-eyed, placing Alaric back on his feet. The quickness with which they both turned to me so they could have a conversation was kinda funny.
“What is it, sweetheart?” I asked, taking a seat on the couch.
“I want to ask him questions,” he replied, and I repeated the same thing to Dorian, who took a seat beside me.
“Sure, ask away,” he said.
“Okay,” I said to them both. “Pretend I’m not here and just talk to each other. I’m going to translate, all right?”
They nodded.
“Can I call you Dad?”
Dorian smiled. “Yes.”
“Will I get to see you every day?”
Dorian looked at me, and I quickly said, “Not here.”
“Whenever you want to see me, have your mother call, and we can meet up, okay?”
Alaric grinned, sitting on the coffee table, his legs swinging back and forth. He excitedly signed as fast as he could think of questions.
“Can we go to the park? And movies? And golf? All the boys in my school say they go golfing with their dads. Will you teach me how to tie a real tie? I only get to wear clip-on ones. Do you like vanilla ice cream? Can we get vanilla ice cream?”
“Whoa,” Dorian laughed, putting his hands out, and Alaric stopped. “One question at a time. Yes, we can go to the park and the movies and golf. Of course, I will teach you how to tie a tie, but we have to get the right ones. And yes, I love vanilla ice cream, but we don’t have to go out. We can have some brought up.”
“Really? You can’t joke about ice cream.”
“I would never.”
“Yes, please, with rainbow sprinkles.”
Dorian retrieved his cell phone and dialed. “I want vanilla ice cream and rainbow sprinkles brought to the penthouse. How much? Enough to make a five-year-old boy lose his mind.”
“Oh man!” Alaric clapped in excitement
“D.O.R.I.A.N,” I interrupted.
He grinned and winked at me. Shaking my head at him, I looked at Alaric, who made the sign for ‘door’.
“Door?” I asked, puzzled.
“No. His name sign. D.O.R.I.A.N. Like door but this,” he said, making the sign for door and adding a knuckle to his palm.
“Oh.” I copied it, showing the man beside me. “That sign means you.”
He repeated it, and Alaric gave him a thumbs-up.
“Are you finished with your questions, Alaric?” he asked.
Alaric placed his hands on his chin, thinking. “I can’t think of any more right now. Can I ask more later?”
“Of course,” he said, sitting on the edge his chair. “I want to say something to you though.”
“Shoot.”
Dorian reached for Alaric’s hands. “I’m sorry I left you and your mom for so long. I know it must have been hard, and if either of you cried because of me, I’m even more sorry. You are the most precious people in the world to me. You are family, and everyone needs family. I really don’t know how to be a father, so you’re going to have to teach me, but the best students are the ones who want to learn. I promise never to leave you again and love you as best I can. Okay?”
“I love you too, Dad.” He smiled, reaching up to hug him.
There was a knock on the door, and I got up quickly. “Room service.”
“I’ll get it.” I needed a second anyway. I didn’t want to become an emotional wreck.
I expected one tray of ice cream, but all I could see was a mountain of vanilla ice cream on a large bowl of ice.
“Holy crap,” I gasped, making space for it to come in.
“Is this to your liking, ma’am?” The waiter asked me.
Alaric ran up, and his jaw dropped just like mine.
“Yep, that was the expression I was going for.” Dorian snickered, handing a bill to the man.
“Enjoy.” He bowed, closing the door as he left.
“You both will get stomach aches from this,” I exclaimed.
“Mommy, we can’t waste all that ice cream.”
“Yeah, it must be eaten at once,” Dorian replied, grabbing a bowl. “Tell me when to stop, Alaric.”
“You only stop when the bowl is empty.” He looked at me like he was confused by how Dorian wouldn’t know that.
“Of course.” Dorian handed it to him and even held the cup of sprinkles for him.
“Wait—” I started to say, but it was too late. He took the cup from Dorian and dumped the whole thing on his ice cream. “Alaric…”
Dorian shook his head at me, the smile on his face was massive as Alaric moved back to the living r
oom.
“Let him off the hook for today.” He handed me a bowl of ice cream.
“Dorian, thank you. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
He cupped my check. “It’s me who should be thanking you, Lulu. I’m not alone anymore.”
I missed his hand when he let go, following Alaric with his own bowl of ice cream. Alaric moved over for him, and Dorian happily sat. Picking up a remote, Dorian pushed a button and a television rose from the floor right in front of the windows. With a spoon in his mouth, he turned on a PlayStation, and if Alaric wasn’t in heaven already, the moment Dorian handed him the controller, he surely was.
I stuffed ice cream into my mouth, enjoying how it melted down my throat and cooled me down.
Alaric grinned up at me before looking back at the screen, Dorian patting his head once in a while.
This was all too good to be true, right?
Nothing in my life, with the exception of Alaric, had ever turned out this good.
DORIAN
“This does not look sanitary,” I said to them as they stopped a few feet from a food truck outside Central Park.
We were starving. I could think of at least a dozen other places I’d rather eat than the silver burger truck. I would never understand this fascination with fast food when you could afford to go to a restaurant.
“He’s scared,” Luella signed to Alaric, who looked at me as if to say, seriously, his hand going to his hip, head tilted.
“I am not scared,” I told them. For some reason, I didn’t think she translated that properly, since it looked like more than a few hand symbols.
“No,” he said, crossing his hands and marching up to me. He signed something really slowly.
“My. Dad. Can’t. Be. Scared. Of. Food.”
She laughed her pretty head off behind him.
Ignoring her, I picked him up, marching myself up the truck to restore my honor. He wrapped his hands around my neck.
“Can I get one hamburger, with pickles, onions, no mustard, half the bun with mayo, the other hot sauce, ketchup, and lettuce,” I ordered. Luella stared at me oddly. “What?”
“How did you know what he wanted?”
I shifted Alaric, who eagerly reached for the burger. “I didn’t know. I ordered that for myself. I was just about to ask you what he wanted.”
Don and I had the same preference in food…and women.
“It’s almost freaky,” she said, then ordered two more.
“Lulu, I got it,” I said, stopping her when she tried to reach for her wallet.
“I can’t let you pay for everything.” She handed the money over.
“If it means that much to you—”
“It does.” She passed me a burger. “If he’s heavy, you can put him down.”
“I’m good—”
“Alaric, no,” she signed quickly, but it was too late. He opened his burger and a large drop of mayo and ketchup fell on my chest.
His eyes widened, and he waved his hand. I remembered that symbol.
It meant “I’m sorry,” and he kept doing it over and over.
“Alaric.” She sighed, and I placed him back on the ground, he hung his head.
“It’s okay.” I placed a hand on his head, causing him to look up. I gave him a thumbs-up.
“I’m sorry, Dorian,” Luella repeated, taking his burger in order to wipe his hands.
“I have a hundred shirts. It’s fine. You’re going to make him feel bad again.” I knelt, and we fist-bumped.
“Do either of you want to go anywhere else?” I asked.
Luella took an awkward bite, still trying to translate. I had forgotten for a second that she was our only way to communicate.
“Can we play on your TV again?” she asked after she swallowed, not realizing she had a few crumbs on the corner of her lips.
Alaric laughed, pointing at her mouth.
“What?” She tried to wipe her face but just made it worse.
Alaric laughed harder, and I struggled to control myself.
“Hey, kid, no laughing at Mom.”
“I think he gets a pass,” I replied, cleaning her mouth with a napkin. When I touched her, she froze, and I stopped breathing. Who knew I could enjoy such a small action?
Swallowing, I moved back and licked my thumb.
“My driver is waiting,” I said to them, trying to focus on my phone, but watching as they spoke to each other with hamburgers in their hands, I couldn’t look away.
She was beautiful. My eyes traveled up her legs to her thighs, remembering how soft they were to my touch. With my memory, no matter how badly I tried, I would never forget how she’d looked under me, her hair spread out, sweat glistening. But I couldn’t. I wanted her. I wanted her again desperately.
“Sir?” Finnick’s voice came over the line.
“What?” I coughed, trying to regain my composure. “Yes, we are ready to go and outside the West 59th Street and 6th Avenue exit of Central Park South.”
“Of course, sir.” He hung up.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Everything is fine, he will be here in a few.”
She repeated that to Alaric.
Don’t fuck this up, Dorian.
LUELLA
“I love my dad,” Alaric signed to me, his eyes half closed and the sheets tucked around him.
He’d done his best to stay up because he was just so excited, but the moment the clock struck nine, his head rocked back. I had planned on taking him home, but Dorian carried him to the guest room. Part of me wanted to think he wasn’t ready for the day to be over either.
“I’m so happy you do, sweetheart,” I replied.
“He’s going to stay, right?” Or at least that is what I thought he said before yawning so wide, his hands covered his mouth.
I kissed his tiny hands and then his forehead. “You will see him tomorrow, so go to sleep.”
“Love you.” He drifted off.
“Love you a million times two.” I sat on the edge of the bed, which was so large he could roll around and around without falling off.
Ringzzz.
My phone went off loudly, and I panicked, reaching for it before realizing it didn’t matter how loud it was. Even after all these years, I still forgot.
“Eva.” I smiled, stood, and went to the window.
“Skip the small talk, how was today?” She spat, and I knew she was brushing her teeth. “Did they connect well?”
“Yes. Eva, it was like a dream. He was perfect.”
“I’m happy for you, but please be careful. You and I both know there is no such thing as the perfect man.”
“You still think he might want to take him from me?” Even though he’d told me he didn’t, I was still afraid.
“I don’t know. Only you can judge that. I just don’t want either of you getting hurt. Especially since you’re attracted to him.”
“That’s nothing. We were both in confusing places and took comfort from each other.”
She gulped the water before spitting it out. “Why does it sound like you are trying to convince yourself and not me? Go over some ground rules with him.”
“Eva….”
“Not just for sex—”
“There shall be no more sex.”
“If you say so, but at least set ground rules for Alaric. What days are best for Alaric to come over and for how long? Or are you just going to move in with him now? And please say ‘no’ to that last question.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I’m not moving in. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“Always. Bye.” I hung up, moving back to Alaric.
I wanted to climb into bed with him, but I realized my suitcase was still in the master bedroom.
I could just sleep in my dress, I thought, but my feet were already leading me out the door and down the corridor. I tiptoed on the hardwood, hands brushing the wall. The whole room was dark, with the exception
of the blue glow, which came from the aquarium. I’d just reached the door and was about to open it but stopped when I heard Dorian speaking.
“Goldie, yes, I need you to get me out of the dinner tomorrow.” Pause. “I understand, but something more important came up.” Another pause. “I know, but there is no way I’m going to able to disappear for a week in order to impress this asshole in the Hamptons. I’m not going to simply be a puppet. When he’s ready to have a serious talk, we will.”
He paused, and for some reason, I held my breath.
“Tell him my son and his mother need me to not disappear from their lives right now.” He laughed, and I felt awkward just eavesdropping. Of course, when I turned to leave, I stubbed my toe on the damn wooden Console Table in the hall so hard the vase swayed on the other side toward the ground.
“Ah, shit! No!” I hopped on one foot for a second before diving to catch the vase from falling. That was how he saw me when he walked out in the hall, hugging his vase in one hand and gripping my throbbing toe with the other.
“Hi.” Was all I could think of to say.
“Goldie, I will talk to you tomorrow.” He tried not to laugh as he ended the call. “Are you okay?”
“My ego’s bruised but other than that, I’m fine. I wasn’t eavesdropping.” I put the vase back on the table. “That’s a lie, I was eavesdropping. But I came for my suitcase, then overheard you talking…so yeah.”
“If you’re fine, why do you look like you’re about to cry?” He asked. The corner of his lip turned up. I could tell he was laughing at me in his head.
God, he’s sexy. He stood at the door, his dark hair tossed and still a little bit wet, a towel hanging over his shoulders, the black sweat pants he wore hung off his hips. And as if he wanted to torture me, he just decided a shirt wasn’t needed, allowing me to see every muscle.
“Lulu?”
Shit! Get yourself together.
“Mercy?” I asked, going back to what he’d said. I put my aching toe back on the floor and stood up straighter. “I’m from Brooklyn, Dorian. We aren’t criers. In fact, some people would be appalled at how many tears I’ve shed this weekend alone. I’m definitely not about to cry again.”
Never Let Me Go Page 7
