“I’ll be back,” he said, pulling me from my thoughts, and he walked out of my room. For a moment, I stood frozen in the darkness, and then ran to grab my pajamas and use the bathroom.
When I came back, I stood in the door for a moment surprised by the sight before me. The bedside lamp was on and a soft yellowish glow cast shadows on the walls. Zale had changed into the pair of gray sweatpants and a clean white undershirt my father had given him; both were a little tight on his large body. He stood to the side of the room, lying down the sheets and blanket from his makeshift bed downstairs, onto my floor.
“What are you doing?” I asked not even thinking before I spoke.
“I would think it’s quite obvious,” his voice was sharp and made me sorry I had asked. He sighed loudly, “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone tonight. So I’ll sleep in here.”
I nodded my head in response and tried to figure out how I was going to sleep, if he was in my room. I had done it once before, but it had been different then. Before, I had only been afraid of him, now I was afraid of myself.
Tossing my thoughts aside, I threw my soiled clothes into the old weaved hamper in the corner, and made my way toward the bed where I sat down with crossed legs. Zale continued to set up his makeshift bed. I had a funny feeling he was taking as long as possible, just to annoy me.
Finally, he finished and laid down on the floor, I clicked off the light and we were surrounded by darkness. The dim slits of moonlight coming in through the shutters looked eerie and I found myself worried. Images from the beach began to come to life in the silent room and I knew sleep would elude me. A strong shiver of fear ran along my spine as I laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling.
The silence was uncomfortable and I wondered if Zale felt it too. I tried to lift my head carefully to see if he was moving, but only a large shadowy form was visible. A sigh passed through my lips and I rolled over onto my side.
I bit my lip when a question popped into my head and debated whether I should ask it. For the next few moments I had an internal battle, about whether I should speak or not, and when I finally made up my mind, I tried to figure out how to say it.
Working up enough courage, I blurted out my question. “Do you think Bolrock has more soldiers out there?”
My heart was pounding harder than I had previously realized. It seemed to be the only source that related time to my mind. I counted along with it, waiting for an answer and just when I had thought he was going to completely ignore me, he responded.
“It’s possible, but it’s not like him to send a large group for something so simple.” He gave a hard laugh, “I was actually surprised I had to kill five of them tonight.”
I let the silence hang there suspended and counted in my head. There’d only been four mermen on the beach.
“You mean four, right?” I asked, trying to figure out how I had counted wrong.
“No, five.” He said, his tone harsh, as though I was trying to discredit him of some award.
“But how? There were only four Hyven on the beach.”
“I killed the first one before I got to you,” he said bluntly and I felt blood rush to my cheeks. “I saw her waiting for you just outside the theater, so I went after her. I knew it wouldn’t take long to get rid of her, but it actually proved to be harder than I thought. She was one of Bolrock’s chasers.”
“What’s that?” I asked, quickly butting in.
“Chasers are trained to chase and kidnap others, they’re incredibly fast and it took me awhile to catch up to her. She was headed for the sea about a mile down from the theater; apparently, she hadn’t expected to see me. I killed her and threw her body into the ocean.”
I shuddered at how casually he spoke of death. “So that’s why you weren’t there.” I said, more to myself than to him, but he responded anyway.
“Where else would I have been?” His voice was incredulous, as though the knowledge of my wondering was unbelievable.
I decided not to answer. I had already hurt him enough for one night; this would only add salt to the wound.
“Lissie?” he asked, and I knew he was losing his patience with me.
“I didn’t know.” I admitted, hoping it would be enough.
“You must have had some idea,” he prodded and I hesitated to answer.
“Yes,” I said slowly and he waited for me to explain. I thought my words out carefully and said weakly, “I thought you’d left me.”
The following silence was again uncomfortable, and I shifted beneath the covers as I waited for him to speak, but he didn’t make a sound.
“I’m sorry,” I said thinking it would help.
He remained quiet for a long time and I found myself staring at my clock. I watched as the minutes slowly clicked, I counted four of them before he spoke.
“Is that why you took out your knife?” His voice was deep and I could hear the restraint he was holding over his anger. I wondered how he knew I’d pulled out my dagger, until I remembered leaving the leather sheath on the seat. He must have come back and found it.
“Yes,” the word was barely audible. “I thought you were gone and I knew someone was out there. I didn’t think. I pulled out my dagger and ran for the theater, but he tackled me when I was only halfway there.” I shivered as the memory of the Hyven soldier pouncing from the shadows replayed in my mind.
Zale sighed, frustrated, “Why didn’t you just stay in the truck? I would’ve been back and you wouldn’t have been hurt.”
“I didn’t know if you would be back.” The words came out before I could stop them, and I covered my mouth with my hand.
“You what?” He was angry now, angrier than he had been before.
I bit my lip and then tried to think of some way to reassure him it was all a mistake, just a misunderstanding between us. I lifted myself into a sitting position on the bed and tried to see him again. My eyes could just barely make out his thick solid form on the floor. I took a deep breath and ignored the nervous bubble in my stomach.
“I’ve never been sure of where your loyalties lie. One moment you’re fighting for my safety, and the next you’re Morven’s warrior. You hate the Lathmorians, but you also criticize Bolrock, and he’s one of the Hyven.” My voice was getting pitchy, but I kept talking anyway.
“I didn’t know what to think when I got to the truck and you were gone. You’d told me over and over again you would be there waiting, and I believed you. All I could think when you weren’t there was you had played me for a fool, and set a trap. So I took out my dagger and tried to make a run for it, and the whole time those mermen were chasing me and threatening me, I thought you had been the one to betray me. You don’t know how relieved I was when you showed up.”
My breath was heavy when I finished and I closed my eyes trying to block out the roiling emotions that moved within me. I shivered in the darkness and waited for him to speak. Some part of me feared that I had lost him forever, lost the last little fraction of compassion he had for me.
“I guess I’m the one at fault,” he said, his deep voice slicing through my thoughts and filling me with relief. His tone was a caress that warmed my heart. “I should never have left the truck.”
“You saved my life. I can’t blame you for that.” I said, guiltily. He chuckled and I smiled even though I knew he wouldn’t see it.
I sat in the middle of my bed for a long time unsure of what to say or do. For some reason, I had the feeling he was looking at me, that he could see me in the dark. Finally, I pulled the covers over me and let my mind drift off into sleep…
The waves pounded against the shore, rushing water surging toward my feet. The sand rose around my toes and as each waved crashed, my feet became immobilized by the weight of the wet packed sand. I tried to move my feet, but I was stuck and as the rain pounded my face all I could do was bend my head away from the pelting drops. “Lissie?” a voice reached my ears over the whipping, rain-filled wind and I opened my eyes. It was Patrick
, his presence as welcome as a warm blanket after a long day spent in the cold snow. I tried to open my mouth to tell him it was me, but I stopped when I took in his expression. His eyes were wide with horror and stared down at my feet. I shifted my gaze and gasped as the pools of red foam swirled around my ankles. Looking back at Patrick, I wanted to scream, but now his eyes were focused on something else. He stared at my hands, and when I looked down once more a choked sob broke through my throat. Blood, it stained my fingers and remained even though the rain pelted against my skin. My lips tried to form an explanation but when I lifted my eyes to Patrick, he shook his head and left me where I stood. I cried out his name, but the red water only rose higher…
In the darkness, I felt myself scream out but only woke to a black ceiling and my heart thumping wildly in my chest.
________________
Stay around your family and friends, the bigger the crowd, the better. Don’t go anywhere alone. What happened last night could happen again. I’ll be back when I can.
Zale
I read and reread the words quickly. When I’d woken up with the light pouring in through my window, I had immediately looked for Zale. All that remained were the folded sheets on top of the pillow he’d slept on, along with a note.
I hurried to get ready for the day. The familiar clatter of breakfast had long since ceased, and after throwing on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt I headed downstairs, knowing I would have to explain the sudden disappearance of our silent guest.
“Lissie!” Caitlin and Sara chimed as I reached the bottom of the stairs. They were sitting on the couch watching cartoons with Jonathan, Justin, and Kaleb, who was doing a puzzle on the floor.
“Good morning,” I said, and yawned.
“So you decided to join the living?” I saw Derek in the kitchen, along with Sean and my parents.
“It was tough, but I decided to see the sun at some point” I replied. “Although, if I had known you would be here I might have stayed in bed.” Derek placed a hand over his heart, as if my words pierced it.
I walked into the kitchen and saw there was extra pancake batter in a covered bowl. My stomach grumbled as I began to make my breakfast.
“What’s that in your hand?” Jillian asked as I grabbed a spatula from the container beside the stove. I looked down and saw it was Zale’s note I folded earlier. I stared at it for a second in my left hand, not realizing I had brought it along with me.
“Just a note,” I said and slipped it into the back pocket of my jeans.
“What kind of note?” Derek asked, and winked knowingly.
I felt the heat rise in my face, “Just a note.”
“Let me read it then,” Derek held out his hand, Sean laughed.
“No,” I said and turned to face the stove in an attempt to hide my burning cheeks.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get the embarrassment to go away. It wasn’t what I felt for Zale that caused me to blush, but what had happened. The events of the night before were almost unreal. The fact I was almost murdered on the beach seemed near impossible, as I stood in the warm kitchen. But what really made my skin flush was what had happened here. I remembered all too clearly the look Zale had given me last night in my room. My stomach fluttered even now, as I thought of his eyes lowering to my lips.
Shaking my head, I pressed a hand to my gut and rationally reminded myself I was only feeling a mix of emotions for what had been.
I cleared my throat and tried to think of a way to explain Zale’s sudden disappearance. There had to be a way to inform them in a manner that seemed uncaring, but the problem was, I did care. I was worried about what might happen with him gone. I felt unprotected and out in the open, without him near me. Although last night didn’t seem real, I wasn’t enough of a fool to think it didn’t happen. I remembered all too well the feeling of the merman crashing into me. Not to mention, the fear that coursed through me the entire time I was on the beach watching Zale fight the soldiers. Was he fighting more of them now? Would Morven allow him to live after he had killed other Hyven? All of it was too much to think about and made my head swirl as I thought of the many possibilities. Why did you leave me?
“Oh,” I said, as though the thought had just occurred to me. “Zale left early this morning.”
“Where’d he go?” Dad asked, and I saw the relief he so clearly tried to hide. I knew he didn’t care to have Zale around. He only saw him as a constant reminder of the part of me I could never share with them.
“I don’t know, he just said he had to leave.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to my pancakes and flipped them over quickly, not wanting them to burn.
Just as I hoped, the conversation didn’t proceed. My family slipped into a topic about the family business. The regularity of it stilled the quivering nerves of anxiety that had been coursing through me ever since the night before.
My pancakes finished, I joined them at the table and listened to the thrum of chatter about when to release a new menu and what the specials should be for the upcoming week. In an instant, I felt a homesickness, I’d never known before. I wanted so badly to be a part of this. It was as if looking at a memory from my past and wanting to go back to it. I could see it, but not touch it. I could live it, but not truly be a part of it. Closing my eyes, I tried not to let the feeling over take me. It was the same crushing feeling I’d had the night Emly was born.
I needed to get out of here. Every word they spoke only reminded me of what I had lost. It was similar to those painful days in Lathmor, when I waited for our mission to Hyvar. Every smell, every sight, every word, reminded me of things I could no longer have. Of happier times that were no longer mine to possess. A deep urgency to leave filled me and I tried to finish eating as quickly as possible. I had to get away, or I would go crazy.
Stay around your family and friends. The words from the note, entered my mind on their own accord and I internally shriveled. I had to stay here, had to be around others. Zale was counting on me to obey him, and what other choice did I have? I had hurt him by not trusting him last night, I wouldn’t do that again. It didn’t matter what he believed about Morven, what mattered was his trust in me. He was asking me to do something for him, and I would.
“You have a lot on your mind,” Jillian touched my hand and I came out of my thoughts with a start.
“Yeah,” I said off hand.
She smiled in a motherly way that stirred my heart, and made me want to run away even more. A thought filled my brain quickly and I knew what I needed.
“Sean, can you and Derek go on a walk with me? Down to the beach?” I asked and widened my eyes slightly, to get them to understand my meaning. Sean noted my expression and nudged Derek.
“Sure, we can go as soon as you want. We don’t have much to do today.”
“Great, let’s go.” I said and left my plate at the table to their surprise. My body itched for the ocean and the smell of the sea air. I needed to get close, to it in order to relax.
Derek and Sean put on their coats slowly, not really paying attention to my impatience. Finally, they were ready, and I opened the side door of our house to step into the brisk mid-morning air. My feet moved of their own accord and started off to the path that led to the ocean. I had one goal in mind, and that was to relieve this feeling of being trapped.
“Why are we going down to the beach in the middle of winter?” Derek asked, sounding slightly disgruntled, but I ignored him.
My feet moved faster and faster until I began to run. Before I knew what was happening, I was sprinting down the hill and out onto the soft sand that led to the beautiful ocean.
“Lissie stop!” Sean’s frantic yell grabbed my attention. I halted quickly and turned around. Derek and Sean were both running down the hill, their faces filled with panic. My heart picked up its beat in fear, what had they seen?
Thinking only of what little protection I could offer my brothers, I reached under my sleeve and grasped the handle of my dagger. I pulled it
out quickly, my eyes scanning the trees we had just passed through.
“Where are they?” I said, trying to see past the twins and I noticed they looked at each other in astonishment.
“What are you doing?” Sean asked, his face frightened and confused.
“Where are they? Did you see someone up there?” I asked quickly, and pointed toward the trees. They glanced at each other again, this time exchanging looks of concern.
“We didn’t see anyone, and why are you holding a knife?” Derek asked, and for the first time I noticed his hands were held up in a submissive manner. His eyes kept darting from me to the dagger and back again.
I relaxed, but only slightly. “You didn’t see anyone? Then why did you yell for me to stop?” I asked and realized Derek was lost for words. I turned my eyes on Sean.
“It just looked too much like the last time.” Sean explained, his voice gentle.
“Oh,” I said, the comprehension dawning on me, and I lowered the knife. There was no threat out there, at least not right now. “Sorry.”
“Why were you running?” Sean was still slightly on edge, but Derek just shrugged and walked over to an old stump and sat down.
“Let’s ask the more important question, shall we?” he said, “Why do you have a dagger in your hand?” He looked at me as though I was crazy and waited for an answer.
In that moment I realized how strange and awful all of this must be for them. I put myself in their place and tried to imagine if one of them just ran off and had this mysterious life for a few months and then showed up again. Then to imagine them not telling me where they had been, and what exactly was going on, and why they acted so strange at times. They deserved more than they had gotten from me, and I needed to tell them the truth.
“Come here,” I said to Sean and pulled him over to the log that had been for my knife throwing practice. It was right next to the stump where Derek sat and I looked at them for a second, not really sure where to start. With a deep breath I began.
Ripples (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 2) Page 17
