Unable to contain it any longer, I lost all grip on reality and slipped into darkness.
25. Revealed
His hands were on me in moments and I woke to his gentle prodding, as he tried to roll me over. I grimaced in pain and tried not to show how much it really hurt, but I knew it didn’t fool him. He moved me to a tree and propped me up against its trunk while he leaned in to take a closer look at my shoulder. My right hand was still grasping it tightly, the fingers covered in blood. Gently, he reached up and pulled my hand away, his eyes taking in the wound. A small shake of his head was the only response I got from him as he moved to pick me up.
“Wait,” I gasped and he paused. “Just sit here with me for a bit.”
Giving in, he lowered his body to the ground so that he was right by my side. He gently wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my head into his chest where he cradled me.
“Thank you, and thanks for saving me,” and I added, “again.”
“You need to get some bandages on that wound.” His voice was like a soothing balm as it rushed over my ears. I nodded in response but neither of us moved. “Why didn’t you wake me?” he asked
After all the wounds Zale now carried, the cuts and slashes on his arms, legs, and chest, I hadn’t heard a note of pain in his voice. Only now did I feel the hurt in him, and I knew it stemmed from something that wasn’t physical.
I had hurt him by leaving him at the waterfall, but why it would bother him this much was a mystery to me.
“I didn’t want to wake you,” my words were true, recalled by memories that seemed like days ago. “You looked tired. And I was going to get you a shirt.”
He looked down at me, his serious face not giving anything away. “A what?” he asked.
“You looked cold,” I said, and started to giggle. Somewhere in my mind I knew I was going into shock, and I wanted to laugh more, but the pain was too much. With each tightening of my stomach, pain shot through my head and my shoulder felt as though a fire had been lit inside it.
“You’ll hurt yourself,” Zale said, and brushed a rough hand over my forehead, I assumed he was talking about my laughing. “We need to get you to the cabin.”
I shook my head, “Not until you tell me why your mouth looks like that.” I giggled again and winced. The corners of his mouth turned down even more and he heaved a heavy sigh. Again, I got the feeling I was hurting him, something I’d done was causing him pain. Slowly, I lifted my head from his chest to look at his face. It was sad; the eyes looked hollow as though there was nothing left inside. I placed my cut up hand on the side of his face.
“What’s the matter?” I asked and he closed his eyes at my touch but turned his head to look at me. My gaze met his and I couldn’t read anything within it other than the pain he was trying to cover. It was there, floating just beneath the surface.
He took a deep breath, “Why—” but that was all he got out before his head jerked up and he peered into the darkness of the shadowy trees directly opposite us. Without a word, he slipped his arm out from behind me and stood slowly. He stepped a few paces away to pick up my dagger that lay on the ground next to the severed head of his now dead enemy.
I wanted to ask him what was going on, but knew I should stay silent. He came back to stand in front of me, his back straight, body calm as he waited for what was surely coming toward us.
It wasn’t long before two figures emerged from the trees; both had been running hurriedly but came to an abrupt halt when they saw the discarded bodies. My heart skipped a beat as I waited for the enemies to step closer to where I could see their faces. Even now, my wounded protector stood his ground to await the oncoming attack of the two before us.
“Step away from her,” a voice said and a sharp breath constricted my throat. Fear flooded my veins, but this wasn’t a personal fear. It was a fright for the lives of all three mermen that stood ready to fight. Tunder had spoken and Elik was beside him ready to kill Zale. My heart thundered in my chest as I realized it was the Lathmorians who would die.
Zale didn’t move or speak, his muscles shifted slightly, but that was the only hint he gave away to his mounting strength for my protection. Tunder’s blades sprung from his forearms and the warrior’s hand on the dagger twitched. I knew what was about to happen.
“Tunder stop!” I shouted, “He’ll kill you.”
My eyes were locked on Tunder and Elik even though I couldn’t see their faces, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Zale flinch, as though I’d struck him. I knew he would think me a traitor for even speaking to Tunder but it had to be done.
“I’ll say it again.” Tunder said, the threat in his voice evident. “Step away from her.” Tunder and Elik both moved closer and raised their arms ready to fight, ready to kill.
With all the strength that was left in me, I pulled myself to my feet with the help of the tree at my back.
“Look around you!” I yelled not caring how far my voice carried. “These are Morven’s best. If you don’t believe me, look!” I pointed to the severed head of Bolrock. “That’s Bolrock. So please, think before you do something you’ll regret.” It was too dark to see if they actually looked at the shadowy bumps on the ground, but I hoped they were able to see enough to confirm what I said.
Elik’s eyes shifted in my direction, but Tunder’s gaze remained fixed on the warrior. I could tell from a distance he was sizing up the warrior, wanting to see just what he would do. I glanced at him too, knowing he was confused and unsure of what to do, but one thing was certain. Zale saw the Lathmorians as a threat to my existence with him, and for that, he would kill them.
My eyes flickered to his hand, to see how he was holding the dagger. Through the dark night I couldn’t tell if his hand was relaxed or tense. I knew one would present a killing blow while the other would give me time to think of a way out of this situation, but I couldn’t take the risk.
“Zale,” I said and he bent his head in my direction to listen, although he didn’t look at me. “Please don’t.”
I felt as though my pleas fell on hollow ears, grasping at anything, I turned to Elik hoping he would understand. “Elik, please. Stop this.”
The shadowy figure that stood by his leader’s side, shook his head. “He has to pay for what he did to our people.”
A sob lodged in my throat and I knew there was nothing I could do; it was inevitable. Just then the clouds parted slightly and beams of moonlight streaked across the clearing, casting light upon the fallen Hyven. As Zale’s body and face became visible, I saw the eyes of the Lathmorian soldiers widen in shock. For the first time they were seeing the face of the warrior; the face of the man they used to know, and they finally understood.
Pleading with all my soul, I tried once more. “Tunder,” I waited until he looked at me, his eyes confused and searching. “Please don’t do this. If not for me, then for him.”
We both knew who I was speaking of; that one common man whose soul had been lost from the powerful body in our presence. Zale turned cautiously to look at me, unsure of what I was talking about, but I ignored him. I needed Tunder to understand.
“He doesn’t know,” I begged desperately. “But, he saved me.”
Finally, Tunder pulled his eyes from mine and took in the horrific scene. The bloodied and cut bodies only looked worse in the moonlight, as it eerily rested upon them. A churned up feeling filled my stomach and I suppressed the urge to cough up my last meal.
For a long moment we stood there, the moment tense, waiting for what would happen. Just like before, Zale hadn’t moved or said a word. He was simply the warrior, waiting for the threat to make its move.
I felt eyes upon me and glanced at Elik, his gaze was filled with an emotion I’d never seen in him before. It was fear, and I knew it wasn’t for his own life, but for mine.
“Are you all right?” His voice was gentle, as he addressed me, directly.
I nodded, but I knew he wasn’t simply asking about my physical injuries. He wa
s speaking of the feelings that ran so deep in my heart, something he could never understand and was only now trying to comprehend. The distance and hurt I had felt the last time I’d seen him, fell away instantly.
His words broke the tension and Zale finally moved. Both soldiers widened their stance instinctively, but the warrior didn’t look at them. To my great relief, he turned to me. His presence was dominating as he pulled himself up to his full height. I tried to see Tunder and Elik, but his body blocked them from my sight. His right arm was close to me, the dagger held tightly in his hand; slowly I reached out and touched his arm. I concentrated my fingers on removing the dagger from him, gently, and finally, he released it but his hand shook as he did so. When I looked up into his eyes, I saw the same pain that had been there before. Somehow I was hurting him, as though twisting a knife in his gut.
“They won’t hurt us.” I said gently, trying to explain to him everything was fine. I knew Tunder wouldn’t hurt Zale any more than I could have the first time I saw him. It would be as though trying to kill Patrick after you already thought he was dead, something impossible.
My words didn’t calm him. His jaw tightened and he looked away from me as though I had slapped him. I wanted to ask him what was hurting, to hold him, and tell him how much I loved him, but I couldn’t, not with the audience that watched us so intently.
For a moment, he looked away from all of us, his eyes searching the darkness as though they held an answer. I squeezed his hand and he looked at me, and the eyes were those of the one I loved, but as I fell into the comfort of his gaze, they changed, and his face hardened. It was a subtle difference but I could see it all the same. The determination of the warrior took hold and I knew all hope of him staying with me was lost.
He turned his head to look at Tunder and Elik, “Take care of her,” was all he said and without a backward glance, he pulled himself from my side and lightly jogged into the shadows.
Tears flooded my eyes immediately and I pressed my body harder into the tree, knowing it was the only thing keeping me from crashing into the earth. A sob left my throat and I felt myself fall forward. The ground came closer, but strong hands caught me before I could hit the ground. The arms picked me up and somewhere in the physical pain of being jostled with the long gait of my carrier and the ripping agony in my soul; I gave into the tears, wishing the arms that carried me were those of the warrior.
_______________
I was surrounded by fuzzy, images and figures floating around in a swirl of dark clouds and blood, but one person remained stationary in the twirling world. His deep-blonde hair rippled softly, his face stern and strong, and his eyes peered into the distance with a great emptiness. Too many times I tried to call to him, to reach out my hand to beckon him to come to me, but it was as though he couldn’t hear me. He never looked my way and I knew he wouldn’t, for I was the reason his eyes held nothing in them.
A damp warm cloth pressed against my forehead and I groaned softly, coming back to reality. Someone spoke to me softly, but I had no idea what they were saying. With a great amount of effort, I pried my eyes open to see the familiar wooden ceiling and walls. I was in the spare room of the cabin.
“It’s all right, Lissie. You’re safe.” Upon hearing the voice beside me, I turned my head. Tunder was sitting in a chair next to my bed and in his large hand he held the damp cloth.
For a moment, I tried to remember what had happened, why he was here. The last thing I remembered was being at the waterfall with Zale. A sudden panic fled through me, wondering if Tunder had found him. Yet, I knew he couldn’t have or he wouldn’t be sitting here right now, instead, he would be dead.
Suddenly, the memories flooded back. Usually they came back quickly, like watching a movie in fast forward, but this time they came slowly. I saw Bolrock as he walked toward me, felt his blade as it slit my shoulder, watched as Zale fought through the Hyven soldiers, and heard the sound of the dagger flying toward me and slicing through Bolrock’s neck with a sickening squish. I remembered the way Zale had touched me, how much he had given me strength in that one peaceful moment, and then worst of all I saw the look in his eyes as he turned from me and left.
My eyes shut tight once more and I turned my head away from Tunder. He didn’t need to see me this way.
“It’s all coming back, isn’t it?” Elik’s gentle words reached my ears. When I reopened my eyes I saw him sitting in a chair, from the kitchen, near the end of the bed.
Rather than respond with a nod or words, I let the silence be my reply. For a long time we all stayed quiet, everyone unsure of what to say. All I could think about was Zale, and why he had left me, when I had needed him so much. I knew they were selfish thoughts, but didn’t care. I needed him beside me, to tell me everything would be all right. Without him here, it seemed as though it never would be, and deep within my heart, I knew he needed me too.
“How—” the words were hard to form on my parched lips. “How did you know to come?” Squinting groggily, I turned my attention once more to Tunder.
“Our guards picked up movement in the waters around our border. When the threat didn’t come closer they reported back to me. As soon as I found out, Elik and I came straight here.” His gaze darkened, “I don’t know if you will accept my apology for not getting here sooner, but—”
“Stop,” I butted in and he did, finally turning his gaze toward me. “As if I’m not to blame either, I had my own secrets.” A sigh passed through my lips and I waited for them to ask about Zale, but they didn’t.
“He came to me in Coveside, even before you and Kryssa visited.” I nodded my head in Elik’s direction. “I’d thought he was going to take me back to Hyvar, but he didn’t. He was too afraid for my life with Bolrock around.”
Tunder’s head cocked to the side in curiosity. I took a deep breath knowing this was going to take some time to explain. I launched into the story trying to give them the general idea, without making it too personal, but there were times when I knew they saw right through my words. Everything ran together as I spoke. I wanted them to understand what I felt, but didn’t know how to put it into words. How could I make them realize what he meant to me?
When I finished, we all sat in the silence again, each of us lost in our own thoughts. My mind was adrift, wondering where Zale was at that precise moment, when Elik cut into my thoughts.
“Why won’t you tell him who he is?” he asked. I heaved a sigh and closed my eyes, not wanting to discuss this with them, and yet, knowing I had to.
“Because, I can’t stand the thought of him not remembering.” Tears bubbled in the corners of my eyes, and I let them roll down the sides of my face and onto the pillow. “If I told him and he had no recollection of what we’d been, it would be like losing him all over again. And I know I should hate him for the deaths he caused, but I can’t. He is what he is and I can’t help but love him.” A large knot of saliva filled my throat and I coughed harshly to clear it, pain shooting all over my body.
My eyes were still shut in fear of their reaction to what I’d said. I knew they wanted Zale’s blood for all the lives he had ended on Lathmor, but I couldn’t bring myself to view him that way. He had told me about the anger, about how his mind shut down and his body functioned on its own. The monster, who caused those deaths in Lathmor, wasn’t really him. That wasn’t the man I knew.
Tunder sighed heavily once more and I knew what was coming. “Lissie,” he said gently, as though speaking to a small child. “I know it’s confusing and I don’t even know what to think now since I’ve seen him, but he isn’t Patrick. Patrick died, and he’s never coming back.”
I snapped my eyes open and glared at him, “You don’t think I know that?”
“What he means is, he’ll never remember you. So even though you feel obligated to love him you don’t have to.” Elik said, his tone calm and gentle.
“I don’t feel obligated.” My voice was flat. “I understand and accept who he is. He’s saved me ov
er and over again, and I refuse to believe there isn’t any good in him.”
Stubbornly, I closed my eyes again. Somewhere in my mind, I thought it was appropriate they were speaking to me like a child, because I was definitely acting like one. Tunder shifted in his chair, the wood creaking, and then he stood up to walk around the room. His footsteps filled my ears. I reopened my eyes and spoke to both of them, hoping my words could convince them.
“Look,” I said, trying to reason with them, “Zale is so confused, he doesn’t even know which side he’s on. He’s somewhere in the middle.” Elik’s eyebrows rose in disbelief, but I continued. “Just think, he isn’t doing everything Morven tells him to do. You both said it yourselves. He’s acting on his own terms.” Before they could berate me about how it was worse that he was acting on his own, I kept talking. “What if he could be persuaded to leave Morven?”
“I don’t think he would join us,” Elik shook his head. “Nor would we let him, after what he did.”
“I know,” I said, keeping my voice calm. “But Morven has already lost Bolrock, if he also loses Zale, he’d be hard pressed to gain any more ground.”
Both mermen pondered my words for a moment, but Tunder opened his mouth to speak. “I can’t take the risk of not knowing what he’s up to.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, what little hope I had in solving the problem was beginning to recede.
“I need to know what he’s doing,” Tunder closed his eyes as though the words pained him. “Whether or not you think he’s changed, when we find him, we will kill him.”
My eyes widened in disbelief, “How could you say that?!”
Ripples (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 2) Page 28
