by Dervan Brown
Karla stood, went in front of him and held his hand in hers, “Joseph that’s why I am here now, to correct the wrong baby. Make a fresh start, in pursuit of happiness, just me and you.”
Joseph released his hands from hers and stood to his feet. “I am sorry Karla, I am afraid I have not the courage for that anymore. I’ll pass on this one.” He ascertained and walked to the staircase.
“At least give it a try Joseph.” Karla pleaded, “One last chance…”
Joe turned and looked at her. The sympathy was familiar. He felt the same way when she told him to leave, but it was the incessant pain that shrunk his golden heart and converted him into a timid squirrel. He would be twice a fool to let anyone near his heart ever again.
“Karla I am an old man with a fragile character. I have been through a lot over the years and I have loved at full speed. As it is now, this engine is starting to gather rust. There is no way I am going to love again. I have lost that drive.”
“I don’t understand.” Karla baffled, “So why did you take me back in?”
I figured you needed a place to stay, and apart from that, I don’t mind being friends, but that’s as far as I can go.”
“You can’t be serious.” Karla searched his eyes to find a spectacle of doubt and a sense of hope, “Joseph please…”
“I am sorry Karla, you broke my heart and there is no mending it back.” Joseph declared and proceeded up the stairs to his room.
Chapter 30
The season had changed. Yesterday’s wind becomes today’s memories. The temperature descended into a cold lampoon and the days grew weary as the leaves fell, abandoning the fragile branches to join the withered blossoms facing down on the wretched ground. There wasn’t anything to hope for in the savages that tomorrow will bring.
The war was over, the cause was lost. Now it’s time to drown your pain in bottles deeper than the ocean floor. The love had faded, the color turned and now the grey sky bleeds sorrow tears.
John Steelburg woke the next morning on the living room floor with the yellow note in hand. The lonely pooch drained the liquor bottles to the very last drop, but the pain had gain resistance to the Mexican tequila and Scottish brandy. The remnant was rather emotional. The physical burn was more than bearable.
“Where could she possibly be?” John wondered as he lay on his back in the dark prior to the rising of the sun, “Oh God! I can’t believe she left me like this.” He tore the note to pieces, “You were supposed to be here when I came back Karla…I would have been on bended knees, begging for your forgiveness, but now you are gone, only God knows where you went…”
In the depths of his bereavement, an epiphany conjured into his mind. John quickly rushed to his bedroom and searched the draw in which he kept his savings. There was none. She took every penny. “She went back to Jamaica…Joseph.” The perception had a sudden grip on him, but the certainty would be far more satisfying or heart crushing.
John took the cell from his pocket and dialed the number he had.
“Hello?” Andrew answered.
“Hey Andrew! I need to ask you a quick question.”
“Hold on, who is this?” Andrew didn’t recognize his voice.
“It’s me John, who else.”
“Oh, what the fuck do you want?” He tempered.
“Listen I don’t mean any harm, but Karla is missing and I was wondering if you heard from her.”
“Ha ha ha,” Andrew laughed.
“I don’t get it. What’s so funny?”
“That’s what you get fucker.” Andrew replied, “Yeah I know where Karla is, but you won’t get that out of me.”
“You know what Andrew,” John frowned as his blood heated, “Fuck you, you son of a bitch, I didn’t like you one bit and I never will!”
“Now remember, be careful how you use that word--bitch.” Andrew provoked.
A dial tone succeeded the conversation. John wouldn’t have any more of it.
The poor soul didn’t stop there. He quickly called the number he had for her mother.
“Hello Miss Watson.” John opened.
“Yes, who is this?” She asked.
“I am John Steelburg Mam, your daughter’s fiancé.”
“Ex-fiancé.” Miss Watson added, “You have a nerve calling this number.”
“I don’t mean to cause any more trouble than I already have Miss Watson. It’s that Karla has left home and I have no idea where she is. I was wondering if you knew.”
“Karla is where she needs to be.” Miss Watson added, “Listen, do us all a favor and stay out of our lives.”
“Miss Watson please, I am begging you…I know that Karla may have moved on more or less, but I just need to make something clear, and then I’ll be on my way.”
His plea fell dead center on her compassion. “Ok-ok, I’ll give you the number, but promise me you will not cause her more pain than you already have.”
“I promise…” John settled.
After the phone rang twice, Karla finally answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey Karla, it’s me John.”
“What do you want John, how did you get this number?” Karla asked in an irate tone.
“Karla I ahh… I’ll be brief ok?”
“Quickly, say your piece so I can hang up the phone.”
“Right…See I have thought about all that I have said to you, and I realize that my behavior was unbecoming, I was dead wrong. So I just want to apologize, even if you never find it to forgive me…I am truly sorry Karla.”
“Oh ok then, is that it?” Karla asked flatly.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I ahh, I know it must have been very painful for you. You know, after all the things you have been through over the years, and you somehow found the strength to trust--again. Only to realize, it is just another sad story. It must be really hard on you, so yeah, I wanted to clear my conscience and of course, say I am sorry.”
“Well you know what John?” Karla added, “It may seem funny to you, but I have already forgiven you.”
“You have?” John coyly asked.
“Yup, the moment I stepped on that plane, I decided to leave every struggle, every bit of pain and dark memory behind me. It’s all in the past now.
“Oh ok then, so ahh…you don’t hate me?”
“No, I don’t hate you, not at all.” Karla affirmed.
“It’s such a relief to know that. Thank God, “John added and took a deep sigh, “Hey, I am going to dish in the blind here, but is there any chance of us getting back together?”
Karla shook her head in disgust, “No John,” She flatly rejected, “I am back with Joseph now, and I have gotten over you to be frank.”
“Karla no…you can’t be serious.” John claimed, “There is no way I’ll find peace knowing that you are back in the arms of that skunk. Karla he is no good for you, can’t you see that?”
“Actually John, it’s quite the contrary. See I am very thankful that I met you. It is because of you why I now realize how fortunate I was. I have learned to be more appreciative for what I already have. See you provided a comparison, and now I know that Joseph is the best thing that ever happened to me. Nobody have proven otherwise, certainly not you.”
“Karla, after all what we shared, you can’t possibly mean that, do you?”
“Goodbye John.” Karla replied, “Take care of yourself.” She closed and hung up the phone.
John suddenly overheated. The veins in his eyes grew red as he panted heavily. He finally snapped and flunked the phone into the mirror. The glass shattered and fell to the floor leaving the empty frame hanging on the wall. That was his heart.
John rang the doorbell non-stop. He didn’t care how ill-mannered it was. Heck! He didn’t even care to live a day further.
Calvin answered the door to find the cold depression staring at him.
“Calvin, Karla is gone. She left…went back to the old seed bag.” The distraught was tense in his voice.
> “Oh God no!” Calvin exclaimed.
“Yeah, I still can’t believe it either.” John affixed as he turned to stare at the familiar flowers.
“I am so sorry bro,” Calvin offered, “Do you want to come inside, sit down for a minute, you don’t look too good.”
“Nahh, its best I stay out here, I might break stuff.”
“Are you sure?” Calvin asked.
“Yeah I am…you don’t happen to have a cigarette do you?” John asked.
“No John…I don’t smoke and neither do you.”
“Well, I damn sure feel like I would start.”
“John listen to yourself. That’s not you talking. My friend you need to get your life back on track. Stop listening to your heart for a change.”
John instantly turned around. The agitation was abrasive in his disposition. He viciously grabbed Calvin by the collar and braced him against the door.
“Shut up! Shut up!” John snapped, “This is your entire fault, if I hadn’t listened to you in the first place! I have no life!!! I am in the dark here!!! I have no heart! Not anymore…It’s broken.” John frantically stared into Calvin’s eyes as the emotions erupted inside of him. His temper was a volatile volcano. He finally released his shirt, then took three steps back, turned and hurriedly left.
“John, where are you going!” Calvin shouted but he didn’t respond. The broken hearted was lost, he had nowhere to go really.
John busted through the door of the corner grocery store. The counter clerk was new, and he was shock at how restless John was as he made way to the back of the store into the employees’ room.
John took from the locker the chrome Taurus magnum handgun, sat at the very same table he first held the weapon, and then brace it against the temple of his head. His hand trembled irrepressibly. As he pulled the hammer back, tears descended from his eyes as sweet forgone ecstasy serenaded from the violin accosted in his memory.
He squeezed the trigger, the hammer flew and the gun went ‘click’ six times as the barrel revolved without bullets.
Now the last withered petal fell to the ground. Like every beauty that nature bared, the sacred blue rose sprung, blossomed and faded away.
THE END
