by Donna Vitek
"I certainly know that feeling," Jess said, lifting her hand to beckon a mustachioed waiter. After both she and Kit had made a selection from the menu and the waiter had gone away again, she gave the younger girl a wan smile. "Well, tell me, are you enjoying the summer?"
Katherine shrugged noncommittally, unwilling to confess that Jason Roarke was making this the most exciting summer she had ever spent, as well as the most unnerving. Somehow, Jess didn't appear to be in a receptive mood to share confidences today so Katherine chose to keep her secrets to herself, though it would have been comforting to blurt out all her conflicting emotions in the hope that Jess could help her make some sense of them. But, since the older woman seemed preoccupied, Katherine only nodded briefly. "I'm enjoying this summer as much as any, I guess."
"That's good," Jess murmured absently, then said nothing more even after the waiter served the antipasto.
Katherine eyed the secretary speculatively as they both partook of what was actually the aperitif, rolls of narrow slices of delicately cured ham, which was tender and quite delicious served with iced fresh melon balls. Yet, Jess ate automatically, without any apparent enjoyment and since Katherine's appetite had not really returned after her confrontation with Jason that morning, she too had lost all desire for food by the time the main course was served.
Something was wrong with Jess. Though she was naturally fair-skinned, her cheeks were almost pallid today and there were tiny, barely discernible lines of strain around her mouth. Most noticeable, however, was the loss of sparkle in her dark brown eyes. Now there was an almost haunted luminosity in them that worried Katherine considerably. Finally, after staring down at her plateful of cappelletti—varied-shaped pastas filled with meat and seasoned with tomato and mushroom sauce—Katherine sighed again, laying her fork aside.
"I'll tell you why I feel rotten if you'll tell me why you do," she suggested with a rueful little smile. "Deal?"
In response, Jess forced a wan smile that only succeeded in making her look sadder still. "I don't really feel rotten… Well, yes, I guess I do." Lifting her head to look at Katherine, her brown eyes abruptly glistened with tears. "I'm thinking of… leaving Tahoe," she mumbled thickly. "I—I'm beginning to see that I should give up on… on Brice. It's time to stop wishing for something that can never happen; it's time for me to leave him, Kit."
Katherine had never been so shocked in her life. Though she herself had advised Jess to leave her father, she had never really expected the older woman to take that advice. She was too loyal and obviously too much in love to recognize Brice Delacorte's shortcomings—at least, she had been too loyal until now. But apparently something had happened recently to change her mind and Katherine was nearly afraid to ask what her father had done to hurt Jess badly enough that she had decided to leave him. Yet, she had to know.
"Why, Jess?" she asked softly, her own green eyes filling with commiserative tears as the older woman hastily dried hers with a tissue. "When I first got here this summer and talked to you about my father, you made it sound as if you'd never leave him. What's he done to make you change your mind?"
Stiffening her spine in an obvious effort to regain control of her emotions, Jess smiled humorlessly. "Believe it or not, it's that little idiot, Wendi, who's changed my mind. I thought she would be just like all the other women he's been involved with over the years—here today, gone tomorrow. But she's different. He's getting more involved with her than he did with any of the others. I mean, after all, he's practically given her the run of his house, even though you're there."
"Oh, but I'm not there," Katherine protested vehemently, her jaw tightening. "I thought you knew—as soon as I realized he was involved with her, I moved out. I wasn't about to live in the same house with him while he runs around with that 'brassy hussy,' as Mallie calls her."
"But Brice never mentioned that you'd moved out!" Jess said, shaking her head incredulously. "I had no idea. I thought you were still there with him. Where are you staying then? Which hotel?"
"I'm not staying at a hotel," Katherine answered reluctantly, then proceeded to explain her situation. After finishing, she breathed an inward sigh as she saw the disapproving frown mar Jess's forehead. She expected a sermon and she got one.
"Kit, that's the craziest idea I've ever heard," Jess declared firmly, making no attempt to be diplomatic. "Even if you had a chance of making Brice change his mind about Wendi, which you don't, you'd still be taking a terrific risk by living with Jason Roarke. I wasn't even aware you had met the man, much less knew him well enough to go live with him!"
"I know Jason pretty well, I guess," Katherine murmured, ignoring the heat that suffused her cheeks. "Besides, I just sort of barged in on him when I left home because of Wendi. He didn't have much choice but to let me stay there. The next day he didn't ask me to leave so I stayed. He seems to understand I just want to teach my father a lesson."
"And he expects nothing from you in return for a place to stay?" Jess interrogated sharply, obviously finding that possibility hard to believe. "Oh Kit, I do hope you haven't done something you'll regret for the rest of your life."
"I haven't, so don't worry," Katherine assured her, dismissing that subject with a wave of her hand. "Now, let's talk about you again. Why are you so upset about Wendi? Just because my father's seeing her doesn't mean…"
"It's not only that," Jess interrupted wearily, massaging the back of her neck with one hand. "She's more important to him than the others were, apparently even more important than I realized if he goes on seeing her, although you moved in with Jason Roarke because he was. I'm astounded that Brice doesn't just drop her so you'll come home again. It doesn't make any sense."
"Maybe he's just being stubborn," Katherine suggested weakly, in an attempt at consolation. "Mallie says he can be as bull-headed as I am and, heaven knows, I'm being very obstinate as far as Wendi's concerned."
Jess shook her head, lowering her eyes to the checked tablecloth again. "No, Kit, Brice isn't that stubborn. He'd never let you live with a man like Jason Roarke, a man no one knows anything about, simply to avoid conceding defeat. So Wendi must mean a great deal to him, though I don't know why. She's such an obvious gold digger and a giggling, simpleminded woman—quite obnoxious, frankly. But Brice doesn't seem to realize that."
"But he will, I'm certain of it. Just give him some time and I'll bet he throws her out on her ear."
"Don't count on that, Kit," Jess heaved a sigh. "I know Brice and he's always loathed possessive women but, though Wendi tries to spend every minute with him, I've never seen him get impatient with her. Whenever she asks for money, which is often, he always gives it to her."
"Surely he's bright enough to realize she's just using him!" Katherine exclaimed softly. "Good heavens, as soon as he manages to persuade one of the hotels to take her on as a singer, she'll drop him like a hot potato. And he knows that."
"I'm not so sure he's even trying to persuade anyone to hire her anymore. I heard she was a pretty lousy singer," Jess explained ruefully. "And what's worse is that she's beginning to realize she is so I think she's decided if she can't have a glamorous career, she'll grab the next best thing—a husband with some money who lives a fairly glamorous life."
Katherine's eyes widened. "You mean…"
"I mean, she'd marry Brice so fast it would make your head swim, if he asked her. He's a wealthy man, Kit. He was a very successful gambler and he invested his winnings and now, of course, he gets a percentage of the take at the casino."
"But he'd never ask her!" Katherine cried softly, then added hopefully, "Would he? How could he? She's nothing but an opportunist! What can he see in her? She's so silly and shallow."
"Oh, Kit, you're such an innocent," Jess commented, though not unkindly. "You really don't think she acts that way around him, do you? Heavens, no! All he sees is the petite little woman who's tried so hard to make her way in a cold, cruel world for the past five or six years. She may arouse his protective instincts a
nd, of course, she is pretty. Any man would be attracted to her. So maybe Brice is finally falling in love. He never has since his marriage to your mother ended, but I thought if I just stuck by him that maybe some day, he'd fall in love with me. But it didn't work out that way, did it?"
"He couldn't choose her over you," Katherine whispered urgently, trying to convince herself as much as Jess. "I haven't always liked my father and the way he lives, but I know he isn't stupid. And you must know that, too. Or you never would have fallen in love with him."
"Oh, Kit, I'm not sure I know anything anymore," Jess said wearily. "I thought I knew Brice better than anybody ever had, except maybe your mother. He's always been such a reserved person; you know that, but he wasn't that way with me so I assumed that meant I was something special to him. When I first met him ten years ago, he really swept me off my feet. I was twenty-eight, but I'd never been really involved with a man before and Brice was so witty and sophisticated. Besides, nobody else seemed able to get close to him. But with me, he was warm and caring and he seemed to need me so much."
Katherine felt the blood drain from her cheeks and the tensing of her stomach muscles nearly made her feel ill. It was as if she had just heard her own relationship with Jason described in perfect detail. No one knew much about him either, yet, with her, he was a warm, caring man, even in their more passionate moments together. He seemed so open with his feelings, unhesitatingly confessing his need for her and because of that very forthright openness, he had caused her to trust him far more than she had ever intended.
It was ironic. She had always assumed Jason was like her father in many ways—irresponsible, pleasure seeking, and incapable of making lasting personal commitments. But she had also assumed that the two men had totally different personalities. Jason was such a charming rogue yet surprisingly perceptive and even serious on occasion while her father seemed such a brooding, unapproachable man. Yet, Jess said with her, he had been witty and warm, so charmingly irresistible that she had fallen in love with him. Katherine was astounded by this knowledge and greatly dismayed. Now it appeared she should have been trusting Jason less rather than more with each passing day because he was far more like her father than she had ever imagined.
Jess's revelation seemed like an ominous warning to Katherine of what her future might be if she allowed herself to become too involved with Jason. Staring fixedly at the older woman, she murmured, "You know, Jason seems very warm and caring when he's with me. I thought that, at least, made him different from my father."
"Kit," Jess whispered, her mouth twisting sympathetically. "You're really attracted to him, aren't you? Oh, do be careful. Please, be very careful."
Katherine stared down at the bright red and white checked tablecloth. "Odd, isn't it? I swore I'd never get involved with any man even remotely like my father. For a while I did try not to be drawn to Jason. But he did seem different. Father's never been terribly warm toward me but, Jason…" She hesitated, pressing her fingertips against the throbbing ache that was beginning to build in her temples. Shaking her head, she attempted a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "My, my, we're a couple of susceptible babes when it comes to wolves in sheep's clothing, aren't we, Jess?"
"Honey," Jess murmured, reaching across the table to briefly touch her arm, "I really don't know what to say to you."
"You could tell me I'd better get away from Jason Roarke as fast as I can," Katherine answered grimly, twisting her linen napkin around her fingers. "That's what you want to tell me, isn't it? You're thinking of leaving my father, aren't you? Don't you want to tell me not to waste ten years of my life on a man like him, the way you feel you wasted yours?"
Tugging a strand of her hair, Jess shrugged. "Maybe I should have had the sense to leave Brice nine years ago. I might have found a man I could at least be content with; I might even have had children. But I didn't go and since I'm a bit too old to think of having children now, maybe I should just stay here." Her brown eyes darkened with confusion even as she chuckled mirthlessly. "Too bad Brad's vacation ended and he went back to Philadelphia. If he were still here, I'd know exactly what to do. I'd stay just to spite him. He's my brother, but he can be such a pious bore, especially when he's pestering me to leave Tahoe."
Katherine couldn't muster even a slight answering smile. Faced with the realization that her feelings for Jason had gone beyond her control, she desperately needed advice. "Jason's become too important to me. I never meant to let him but he has," she confessed miserably. "Please, tell me what to do."
"Oh, Kit, what do I know?" Jess exclaimed softly. "I'm such a fool about your father that most of the time, I don't regret a moment of those months we had together ten years ago. I…" She halted abruptly, her expression hardening as she stared past Katherine toward the restaurant entrance. Inclining her head slightly in that direction, she added tautly, "Then there are times like this, when I wish I'd never seen Brice Delacorte's face."
Detecting the pain in her brown eyes, Katherine glanced over her shoulder, her lips pressing together as she saw her father and Wendi approaching the table. Turning back to Jess, she rose to her feet. "Let's get out of here, okay?"
"Please." Rising also, Jess lifted her chin proudly, murmuring, "She hates me, you know. She deliberately drags Brice where she knows I'll be so I'll have to see them together. She knows I love him and would like nothing more than for me to quit my job and leave Tahoe."
"Then if I were you, I'd die before I left," Katherine whispered, eliciting a smile from Jess and returning it as Brice and Wendi reached them.
"Jess, Kit," Brice murmured, a half smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. "Care to join us for a drink before you go?"
"I'm late. Sorry," Jess said flatly, squeezing Katherine's arm in farewell before she sidestepped the couple and strolled away with great dignity.
"How about you, Kit?" Brice asked. "You and I have something to discuss and I'd like to arrange a time to talk to you. So why don't you join us now."
"Oh, please do," Wendi crooned, hanging onto Brice's arm as if she might fall down flat without him to support her. The smile she gave Katherine was too sugary to be genuine. "Stay and talk to us awhile. I never see you and that's silly. Don't you think? I feel like part of the family now so we should be good friends, me and you."
Fat chance, Katherine almost retorted but instead she managed a fairly credible smile. "I don't have time for a drink, either," she answered, hardly aware of her resentful expression as she glanced up at her father. "If I want a ride home, I have to meet Mallie in about two minutes. So, see you later." Without waiting for a reply, she too made a dignified, unhurried exit from the restaurant. Yet as she stepped out onto the sidewalk, into the fresh clean mountain air, her shoulders abruptly drooped.
Luckily, the outrageous prices at the supermarket had put Mallie in a foul mood. Much to Katherine's relief she talked very little during the short drive from the village to Jason's house. After getting out of the jeep there, Katherine leaned down to smile at the housekeeper through the open window.
"Maybe I'll walk over and see you tomorrow," she suggested softly. "We haven't talked for a while and I've missed you."
"Wouldn't miss me if you was where you oughta be," Mallie grumped, clicking her tongue disapprovingly as she glared at Jason's A-frame house. "You and your daddy are two stubborn mules. You know that? Him running 'round with a hussy and you living with a no 'count gambler and neither one of you married. Beats all I've ever seen in my life. What's this old world coming to?"
Still muttering to herself, she shifted into reverse, giving Katherine one last forceful glare. "You watch out how you act round this man, you hear me. Or you might just land yourself into trouble you never did bargain for. Now, step back from the car so I can get this ice cream home 'fore it melts all over me."
As Mallie turned the jeep around and drove away, Katherine waved, but the smile the housekeeper had elicited faded as she approached Jason's front door. His Jaguar was here s
o she knew he had returned and she dreaded seeing him. His smile alone could drive all logical thought from her mind until all she could do was wish he would take her in his arms and kiss her.
She was acting like a silly thirteen-year-old, she decided, taking the key Jason had given her from her straw purse and unlocking the door. She stepped into the cool, dim foyer, telling herself she could resist even his considerably potent charm if she really tried. Then as she dropped the door key back into her purse, her ears were assaulted by the shrill sound of a woman's laughter coming from the great room. As Katherine recognized Jason's low melodious tones in response to the laugh, she moved out of the foyer to stand where she could see into the room. An intense jealousy tore through her as she watched Julie, the willowy blonde, drop down on the sofa beside Jason, draping one long bare arm across his shoulders. Feeling rather like a child spying on her elders, Katherine started to turn to walk away but Julie caught sight of her.
"There's your little houseguest, Jason," she declared airily. "I do believe she thinks she's interrupting something and is trying to steal away so she won't disturb us. Come on back, kid. Jason said you might be back soon so you weren't interrupting anyway. Now, five minutes from now might have been a different story."
The woman's suggestive and condescending tone grated on Katherine's nerves. Unable to smile, she simply looked at the couple on the sofa but her pensive gaze lingered mostly on Jason. He steadily maintained the disturbing eye contact. He wasn't smiling, either. His dark blue eyes roamed over her freely as if he were remembering the kisses and caresses they had exchanged that morning. Or was that just wishful thinking on her part? Katherine wondered dismally as Julie suddenly stroked his cheek and he turned to smile at her. Feeling distinctly like a fifth wheel, Katherine muttered something about going up to her room to change her clothes. As she trudged up the stairs, her heart seemed to sink all the way down to her stomach when she heard Jason agree to Julie's suggestion that they go for a long, private drive.
