by Mia Hoddell
He let out a strangled groan and I disconnected the call as the lift doors opened to reveal a corridor filled with doors. Stepping out into it, I caught the tail end of Alaya’s bag disappearing into one of the rooms.
Got you.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Alaya
I’d only been in Cologne for a few minutes and already I felt festive. As soon as my plane touched down in Dusseldorf and I boarded the train, I couldn’t wait to see the markets. I deliberately delayed my stay in Paros despite the changing weather and decrease in holiday goers so I wouldn’t have to wait for the markets. They opened two days ago and excitement bubbled through me at the thought of getting out there to see if they were as good as I remembered.
Greece had been the right move, though. It gave me the time I needed to clear my head, get my plan back on track, and finally I was where I was meant to be. It had been fun to let go and party most nights. I needed the downtime—the pure escapism that came with being able to go wild. In Greece I lived solely for the night. There had been no one derailing what I wanted and no one other than myself took priority. Besides one drunken, emotional breakdown during my first week I hadn’t thought of Cole the entire trip. And I blamed the alcohol for that breakdown. Jägerbombs and feelings didn’t mix.
However, while Greece was fun, a person could only handle so much clubbing and two months pushed the limit. It became more about killing time until I could get to where I really wanted to be: Cologne.
Out of all the countries and cities I wanted to visit on this trip, Cologne held first place on my list. I had so many memories from the school trip I went on and I wanted to create more while spending the time doing everything I missed out on previously because of a strict plan laid out by my teachers.
With my duffle bag over my shoulder and my second bag in my hand, I walked into Dalton’s hotel and checked myself in. Unlike the other hotels I’d stayed in, this one was tailored more towards the student market. It had a modern design whereby everything was clean and shiny. White and grey surfaces glistened in the bright daylight bulbs and the fading natural light that filtered in through the solid glass wall above the entrance. The angular shapes and the sharp edges of every corner, pillar, chair, desk, or piece of furniture gave the building a regimented quality. It didn’t feel homely like the other hotels, but it felt practical.
As soon as the receptionist handed me over my work schedule and room key I headed for the lift. My enthusiasm only grew when I noticed I had a whole week to myself before I started work. It put a bounce in my steps as I hummed a random song in my mind. I really needed to thank Dalton again, and maybe buy him a present as well.
I pressed the button for the lift, folding up the piece of paper and burying it in my pocket while I waited. When I entered the lift and turned to push the button, I gasped as I retracted my hand. As if someone had poured cement down my spine, I stiffened.
Holding my breath, I watched him drop his hand from the shelf, twisting fully to bestow the full effect of his hazel eyes on me. His lips quirked up into a weak smile as the doors began to close, and only once they shut out Cole did I exhale.
That asshole was here.
He’d made good on the promise he sent in his flowers, I just interpreted the message wrong. I’d forgotten all about our conversations in which I told him my plans. I hadn’t even thought he was really listening. And that was what I got for assuming.
How long has he been in Germany?
Shaking my head, I cursed myself for questioning it. If I didn’t want to see him I didn’t have to, and I definitely didn’t have to talk to him. It would be as if he never existed because I didn’t want him ruining another place for me … especially this one.
The lift jolted to a stop, sending my stomach into a somersault. When the doors opened with a chime I strode to my room as quickly as possible. It took me a few attempts to get the electronic key to work—my hurry to get in the room not giving the device time to process my request—but finally I got it open. I stumbled into the room as I fell against the door with my bags pressing down on my back. Without even glancing over my shoulder, I shut it behind me and headed straight for the double bed.
As soon as the backs of my knees touched the mattress, I collapsed on to it with a groan. Throwing an arm over my face, I buried my nose and mouth in the crook of my elbow to muffle the scream I let out.
Who was I kidding? I could tell myself Cole’s presence would have no effect, but it already had. He knocked me off balance the instant I saw him, and just like that he took prime position in my thoughts again. All the work I’d done in Greece turned out to be for nothing. I thought I had successfully gotten over him when all I did was bury the idea of him under a ton of work and alcohol. I hadn’t dealt with my feelings in the slightest, only ignored them until I returned to a state of denial.
A knock on my door forced me to lower my arm slowly and eye the wooden panel with suspicion.
Oh hell no. That had better not be him.
I remained on the bed and a few seconds later the knock came again, only more urgent this time.
“Who is it?” I called.
“Room service.” The deep, rich voice like liquid gold that came back through the door was not one I could forget. Just the sound of him forced my heart rate to spike involuntarily and shots of longing to flow through every inch of me.
Damn my body. Why couldn’t it listen to my head that screamed he was a bad choice?
“I didn’t order anything.”
“Come on, Gingernut. Let me in.”
I shuffled over to stand next to the door so I didn’t have to shout. “This is a funny type of room service. Usually people are more professional.”
“Alaya, please open the door.”
“Should I be worried you know my name? I’m not sure it’s common practice for someone delivering room service to be on a first name basis,” I said dryly, wondering how long it would take for him to give up. A small thud came from his side of the door as if he’d placed his head against the wood.
“Alaya, you know it’s me. Please open the door because I shouldn’t stay out here much longer.” His words came out faster, his tone filled with a wary insistence.
“Good. Then you’ll go away quicker.”
“I said shouldn’t, sweetheart, not that I won’t.”
Damn it.
Opening the door, I stood in the gap to block him from entering. I folded my arms across my chest and glowered at him. “What do you want?”
“Can I come in?”
His voice drew my gaze up over his body. The navy T-shirt he wore clung to his toned body, tightly hugging the muscles in his arms. Absently, I licked my lips, moistening the suddenly dry surface.
As soon as our eyes met, I inhaled sharply. His appeared almost brown with a few flecks of green shining through. For a second they rendered me speechless, my mouth refusing to cooperate with my brain that wanted to hurl insults at him.
The sight of his lips curving into a smile allowed me to shake off my admiration. It had my hackles back up instantly and I hardened my stare. Pursing my lips in thought, I fought to remain unaffected by his presence.
“Why do you want to? In fact, a better question is why I should let you? Convince me as to why I should allow you to come in here after the shit you pulled in France.”
He glanced over his shoulder, staring nervously towards the lifts. When he turned back to me his expression morphed from pleading to desperate. Each emotion swirled through his features—anxiety and earnest. “I want to explain everything, and I mean everything. This isn’t about the bet anymore, but you were right. If I had stayed I would have spilled everything before the three months were up and now you’re involved you deserve to know the truth.”
“The truth about what? And how does it have anything to do with me?”
“Do you remember I said I was trying to outrun my past?”
I nodded cautiously.
“Well, it’s fin
ally beaten me and you’re probably in a lot of trouble right now because of me. If you let me in I’ll explain everything.”
“I take it Levi didn’t give you my message then?”
“You spoke to Levi? When?”
“He came by the hotel about a week after you left to look for you. He gave me his number in case I ever saw you again because he couldn’t find you and said that you were in trouble. I told him to tell you you’re an asshole who I never wanted to see again.”
Cole’s face paled, transforming into a ghostly mask as all of the blood drained away. “That right there is why you need to let me in.”
When he attempted to push by me I braced my arm on the doorframe. If he really wanted to move me he could, yet he didn’t.
“Why?” I demanded, scowling at him.
“Levi never made contact with anyone in France, Gingernut. He didn’t even know who you were until I told him a few minutes ago on the phone. You’ve never met Levi, and if you give me the chance, I’ll explain what’s really going on.”
My mind struggled to process his words. Things refused to add up and I couldn’t decipher everything fast enough. Only the odd words registered.
Explain.
Trouble.
Not Levi.
I shuffled back and allowed him to enter the room. When the door clicked shut behind him a small ounce of tension seeped from his posture. His breathing became marginally lighter and his gaze stopped darting about all over the place as if he expected someone to jump out with a gun at any second.
He moved to sit on the corner of the bed, forcing me to take the wooden chair at the desk since I figured sitting next to him was a bad idea. For a few minutes neither of us said anything. I stared at him in waiting while his eyes glazed over in thought.
“Well?”
“Oh, right.” Reaching up to knead the back of his neck, he then ran his fingers through his hair.
The uneasiness in my stomach churned violently. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his explanation. Ever since I met him it had been the only thing on my mind; however, now I was confronted with the reality I wasn’t so sure. He hinted at it being bad, he tried to warn me and scare me off, but I’d been stubborn. My fucking stubbornness always got me into trouble.
“Cole, who did I meet and what do they want?” I tried to keep the tremble from my words since his silence only increased the nerves dwelling within me.
“First, what did he tell you?”
“He said he was looking to help you because you were in trouble with some kind of gang and they are now hunting you to make you pay for something. Who is he if not Levi?” I had an inkling, but I wanted him to confirm it verbally. His slumped posture and weary face weren’t enough.
“His name is Drake Ryder. He’s the one who’s searching for me.” He paused and hung his head in his hands. “This is all so fucked up.”
I left him for a minute, thinking he’d come round and explain some more. When he didn’t, I pushed for answers. “I’m going to need a little more detail, Cole. What did you do? Why are they coming after you? How does any of this involve me?”
“I know, I know. Before I do and send you running please know I’m sorry. I never meant for you to get swept up in any of this. I was selfish to come and look for you, but I needed you. You awoke something within me, Alaya. Around you I feel like I have a life … you make me want to fight. I couldn’t stay away no matter how wrong it is. I left to protect you, and even then you were too hard to resist. It’s why I’m here. I never meant for things to turn out the way they did in France. Everything just caught up with me.”
“Will you spill it already? I’ve told you numerous times I’m not scared of you, and I’m not going to run.”
“You will, I know it.”
Rolling my eyes, I folded my arms across my chest. “How much are you willing to bet on it?”
His head flew up like someone pulled on an invisible cord fast enough to give him whiplash. His eyes bulged. Whether it was out of fear or shock I couldn’t be sure.
He shook his head. “I’m not doing this with you, Alaya … not on this. If you want to run then I’m not going to take anything off you for doing so.”
“What about my forgiveness?”
“Huh?”
“You want my forgiveness, right? For me not to hold what happened in France over you?”
“It would be nice, but you shouldn’t—”
“Then I bet you my forgiveness. You choose whether I run or stay, and if you’re right you’ve got it.”
He didn’t respond straight away. His fingers tugged at the roots of his hair, tightening the skin on his forehead as he considered my offer.
“What’s it going to be? Are you going to bet for or against me?” I didn’t know what made me fight for him—probably the powerful desire to prove him wrong and show him he hadn’t needed to leave. I wanted to punish him and draw him into my arms all at the same time.
“I bet you’re going to run. You’d be mad not to.” The words I knew he would speak spilled from his mouth in a rush. Knowing they were coming did nothing to ease the stabbing pain in my chest. I wanted him to bet on me to stay. After all, I’d remained with him so far.
“You’d better start explaining then so you can figure out whether or not you’re right.”
He took a deep breath, puffing out his cheeks and holding it for a second before exhaling loudly. “Seven years ago I was the only survivor of a car crash. I lost my brother, Aaron, and a friend.”
I whipped my hand to cover my mouth and stifle the gasp. “Cole, I’m so—”
“Don’t.” He held up a hand to silence me. “Don’t say you’re sorry. It was our own fault.” He laughed bitterly. “I guess that’s an easy thing to say when you’re the one to walk away. They paid the ultimate price and I get to lay the blame.”
“Why was it your own fault, Cole?” I pressed, trying to pull him back on track.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Cole
“Why was it your own fault, Cole?” she asked, and the question had so many answers I didn’t even know where to begin. Every one of them would send her running as well. If there had been a way I could have kept her from knowing the truth I would have.
“When I was seventeen I joined a local gang run by a guy named Giles Crowley. My brother had been involved for a year before me and he wasn’t coping well. We were close. Our parents abandoned us when I was four, and growing up in care I always felt it was my job to protect him. I joined to shoulder his responsibilities.”
“You grew up in care?” Alaya interrupted, and I peered up at her through my eyelashes, shrugged, then returned my gaze to my hands. I got over what my parents did a long time ago. It took years, but I’d dealt with it in my own way so now I could talk about it with no bitterness.
“My parents just decided they no longer wanted us one day. They couldn’t cope.”
“That’s terrible, Cole. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
Her expression held the pity she didn’t voice like everyone else when they found out about my past. I fully expected her to question me further on it; I should have known better.
“So you joined Crowley’s gang to protect your brother. Then what?”
“Crowley’s main source of income comes from drugs. However, he also dabbles in other illegal activity. Underground fights and street races are set up to gamble on, and he’s also the guy people go to for fake documents. He hardly ever gets his hands dirty, though. Everything is done through people like me. We store and deal the drugs, collect the payments, fight and race for him … whatever he wants he gets. If people are late with his money or refuse to pay it’s up to us to retrieve it through any means necessary.”
I kept my eyes on my fists linked together on my lap to avoid Alaya’s gaze as I admitted to all of the things I had done.
“My brother thought he was tough, but he wasn’t. Aaron was one of those kids who acted like a g
angster, then when it came down to it he couldn’t deal with the reality of being tied to Crowley. That’s when I joined. They asked Aaron predominantly to collect late payments and most of the time they involved some kind of beating. Aaron couldn’t do it so I stepped in and did the jobs for him. I broke bones and caused tremendous amounts of pain to people. Hell, I made grown men cry and whimper all to save my brother.”
Sighing, I clenched and unclenched my fists, my nails digging into my skin. The pain felt good. Like it was a mild form of punishment for all of the sick things I’d done.
“For a few months we got away with it. However, it came to Crowley’s attention eventually and the long and the short of it is I impressed him. It became impossible for either of us to leave and I got sucked into the street racing as well as other sections of his twisted operation. Street racing is what I excelled at, though, and when Crowley saw this I managed to get out of the more violent and drug related crimes … my brother too, since he was my co-driver.
“Anyway, at our last race I allowed Ben, my mate, to be co-driver. Aaron sat in the back of the car and I’ll spare you the gory details, but we took a corner too fast. Our car rolled and the passenger’s side was crushed. Ben and Aaron died instantly from the impact.”
I gulped, forcing myself to swallow back the bile in my throat. My mind filled with images of their bodies hanging upside down in the car. The only things that had supported them were their seatbelts as I watched them bleed out. It was a lie that they both died immediately, but Alaya didn’t need to know the truth. Aaron died before the car even stopped rolling, for which I was thankful. Ben didn’t. I’d watched as he fought for every breath. Blood had run down his face from a laceration in his neck so he appeared unrecognisable, and there hadn’t been a fucking thing I could have done to save him.
