To Hope

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To Hope Page 6

by Carolyn Brown


  “Why’d you buy two?” she asked when they were out of the vendor’s hearing.

  “They’ll make good gifts. Besides, he gave you a good deal on the coat,” Jimmy answered.

  “Oh, I thought you were just being a good husband,” she teased.

  “I will be someday to someone,” he said, leaving no doubt that it wouldn’t be today or Jodie.

  Jodie was glad she hadn’t been asked to sing that night. She still worried about being totally fair when she judged Chris and Laney. By the time the chute opened with the first rider on the back of Blue Devil, a twisting ton of bull hailing from West Texas, she forgot all about fairness or who was riding. She watched for turns, bucks, the rider’s free hand and his form.

  Chris rode his eight seconds and raised both hands in his traditional victory sign. She and the other judge handed in their score sheets, and the next rider took his turn. He lasted almost four seconds before he landed on his hind end in a puff of dirt. Laney did better that night than the previous one. Jodie was jealous that she had to sit in the judge’s panel and couldn’t ride.

  The event was over before eleven and a whole crowd gathered around her. Laney was the first to ask if she’d join them at the IHOP for breakfast and talk. There was just one more night of the bull rides and several of them would be leaving immediately after Wednesday night so they could make the Pueblo U.S. Smokeless Tobacco Challenger Tour at the Colorado State Fair Event Center. Jodie had hoped she’d be listed as a judge for that tour but the schedule they’d given her and Jimmy kept them in Denver for the whole National Western affair. Her job would continue right on, judging bull riding every evening. The point system was a little different but the rules were the same. The only advantage was that she’d be finished earlier, and could watch the roping, steer wrestling, barrel racing, and other events.

  “So what do you say? Can you go, or do you have to hold the mafia don’s hand while he writes his cute little stories?” Laney asked.

  “She can go. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand,” Jimmy said from right behind Laney.

  She slapped her hand over her mouth. “Ooops!”

  “Call me when you get ready to come home, and I’ll drive over and get you.” Jimmy waved at her.

  “Oooooh,” Laney whistled under her breath. “He’s going to be all alone in that fancy trailer. Maybe I’ll go keep him company and make him forget Pollyanna back at home.”

  Jodie laced her good arm through Laney’s. “Come on darlin’. You know we always share everything on our plates. Who’ll give me bites of blueberry pancakes if you don’t order them?”

  Laney forgot about Jimmy for the time being. “And who’ll let me have half her gravy?”

  A group of twenty took up several tables and visited back and forth to talk about the results of the rides and who was in the lead and who might upstage them from the Challenger Tour. The year was just beginning and it was a long time and many miles until the finals in Las Vegas but they could make their five-dollar bets.

  “I don’t know why ya’ll even bother betting,” Chris said. “It’s my buckle this year. What do you say, Jodie? Give me a few extra points in the Oklahoma City ride?”

  “I’m a fair judge. You’ll get what you earn, and I’m not doing the Oklahoma City show this circuit,” she said.

  One of the ladies fanned herself. “Whooo! Is that the way you operate in all things, Jodie? Get what you earn?”

  “No, she don’t even give a feller what he earns most of the time,” Chris taunted.

  “If you’re making this personal, let me in on the conversation,” Laney said.

  Jodie held up a hand. “Let’s don’t throw ice water on a good time. So who’s riding tomorrow night?”

  It was two in the morning before she and Laney went home.

  Laney nosed her truck into the parking spot beside her personal trailer. Tomorrow she would hook it onto the truck and be ready to pull out for Pueblo as soon as the lights went out in the coliseum.

  Laney yawned without even covering her mouth with her hand. “God, I’m so tired I could sleep on a concrete mattress. Want me to walk you home?”

  “No, it’s right next door. I can see the lights from here. Sleep tight and thanks for the ride.”

  “You are welcome,” Laney said.

  Jodie was about to open the door when a big masculine hand covered hers.

  “A minute of your time, please ma’am,” Chris said.

  “Since you said please you can have one minute. Any more and you’ll be talking to a sleeping lump,” she said.

  He kept her hand in his and pulled her down to sit beside him on the step, snow blowing all around them. “I was teasing back there. I just wanted you to know that. I didn’t mean anything personal.”

  She removed her hand from his and tucked it inside her pocket. “Okay.”

  “And I want to know if there’s a chance for us to get back together. I know that would be a conflict of interest for you to judge me if we did. It’s not that I’ve got ulterior motives. I believe you are fair,” he stammered around the issue.

  “I don’t think there is a chance of it, Chris. We still want different things and it would be a waste of time.”

  “You mean you’re not ready to give up all that silliness about kids and a ranch? I thought because you were back on the circuit you’d figured out what was important to you,” he said.

  She took a long look at him. Dark hair. Muscles in all the right places. Same general interests that she had. She felt nothing. Not one blessed tinge of excitement. “I’m sorry, Chris. It won’t work. I’m just here to do a little judging during the slow time at the ranch. I’d hoped to make enough on this circuit to buy a small start but then I broke my arm. I wasn’t taking the way things turned out very well and when the offer came to judge, I took it, thinking maybe I’d get out of my funk.”

  “You absolutely sure about this? I mean this is it, Jodie. There won’t be another chance.”

  “I’m very, very sure,” she said.

  “Then I’m going to see Laney and make up with her. She’ll do what I want,” he said.

  “Don’t try to make me jealous,” she said.

  Before she could blink the snowflakes from her eyelashes, he’d pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. His lips were cool. He wasn’t doing a bad job. She just wanted it to be over.

  The door opened in the middle of the kiss and light lit them up like the topper on a Christmas tree.

  She pulled away.

  Chris chuckled.

  Jimmy just stood there.

  Chris ignored Jimmy. “Change your mind?”

  “No.”

  “Then adios señorita. May you have a long life on your ranch with all those mutton busters running around at your feet. When you read about me wearing that fifty thousand dollar gold buckle, remember that you could have shared my glory like I did yours back when you got it.”

  “Be happy and be safe,” she said.

  Jimmy had returned to the table by the time she went inside the house. “Who was that?” He tried to keep his tone noncommittal but it came out edgy.

  “It was an old boyfriend. I was dating him when I won the finals. He wanted to know if we could get back together. I told him no.” She wondered why she was explaining this to Jimmy. It wasn’t a bit of his business. They were colleagues of a sort, not even roommates.

  Jimmy didn’t know he was holding his breath until he let it out, covering his blunder with a cough. “Oh, well, did you have a good time?”

  “Wonderful. Did you find something to eat?”

  “I made a smoothie and had some graham crackers.”

  “Yuck! That’s not food.”

  Jimmy smiled.

  Her heart did a fast two-step. “What’s your angle tonight?”

  “The clowns, along with the normal, old dry stuff about who got how many points, who was ahead at the end of the night, and who might make it to the finals,” he said.

&nb
sp; “That’s not dry. That’s the life of a rider,” she said. “You learn to write that in words that make someone feel like they’re sitting there breathing the dust and holding their breath for eight seconds, hoping their rider makes it to the bell. Then you’ll be a really good rodeo writer.”

  “You mean I’m not now?” he asked.

  “Put your heart into it, Jimmy. You can give your readers a taste of real rodeo if your heart is in it. If it’s not, the words are just words. Cold as your feet were without the socks and boots.”

  “Did his kiss make you all philosophical?”

  “No, it bored me. You know why Sawyer Carver is the best rodeo writer in the world?”

  “I’m sure you are about to tell me,” he said coolly.

  “Because he puts his readers in the arena. They can almost feel that old bull bucking them. Write about the clowns if you want, but give them bull riding first and foremost.”

  “Or what?”

  “Or go home and write about something you love.”

  I can’t write about Jodie Cahill. You’re not riding and if you were then Sawyer would be writing about you.

  “Good advice. I’m going to revise my story. Would you read it before I send it?”

  “I’d be glad to but I’m not a writer. I just know what I want to read.”

  His deep-green eyes twinkled. So the kiss had bored her, had it? Maybe someday she’d see if one of his was boring.

  Chapter Five

  Jodie threw herself across the hotel bed, glad that Jimmy’s room was at the end of the hall and not connected to hers. For the remainder of what was left of that day and the next she intended to do nothing but read, sleep, and try to make sense of the unrest in her heart. It wasn’t upheaval or even turmoil, just an antsy feeling that something wasn’t right. She hadn’t called home in three days—maybe there was something wrong there.

  “No,” she whispered. “Rosy would call immediately if anyone was sick or there was a big family problem. It’s not that.”

  She sighed deeply when her cell phone rang. It had to be Jimmy. What she really needed was two days totally away from the man; not living ten hotel doors away with easy phone access. She’d only seen him thirty minutes ago. Why would he be calling her already?

  “Hello,” she grumbled.

  “Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?” her grandmother asked.

  “Granny, I thought you were someone else. No, I am not grumpy; at least not with you. Please tell me everything is all right at home. I’ve got this weird feeling.”

  “Everything is fine at home. But we’ve been making lots of decisions, and I need your input. Do you ever intend to take over the lodge?”

  “Good grief. Where did that come from? You aren’t sick, are you?” Jodie’s blood ran cold. Granny Etta had been as big an influence in her upbringing as her mother and father. A strong-willed, determined lady, she’d taught them all responsibility through working at the lodge from the time they were big enough to see over a kitchen counter. The mere thought of her not being there was enough to make Jodie physically ill.

  “No, I’m not sick. Never been better, matter of fact, but I am ready to retire. Something has come up in the family and I’m about to make an offer to your oldest sister, Melanie. Jim lost his job this week. You and Rosy live on the ranch here and I felt like I needed to ask you first, but I want to give them the lodge to run. Their daughters could be raised here like you girls were and . . .”

  “Granny, you are preaching to the choir. If Jim and Melanie will take over the lodge, that’s wonderful. It’ll bring them back close where we can see them all the time. What did Rosy say?”

  “Rosy has a new iron in the fire but she’ll tell you. I’m not spilling beans there.”

  Jodie held her breath. “Is she pregnant?”

  “I’m not telling the secret. But no, she’s not pregnant. How about you? I heard that feller you’re keeping company with is a fine-looking young man. Anything going on there?” Etta deftly changed the subject.

  “I’m not telling but no,” Jodie said.

  Granny Etta chuckled. “I’ll be living at the lodge when I’m home. At least until I decide what I want to do. Roxie wants me to move in with her. I may do it.”

  “You two would be wonderful roommates. You’re together ninety percent of the time anyway, but give it some time and thought. You’ve been at that lodge so long it’d be like losing an old friend if you move out. You’d be lost but you could try it and come back home if it doesn’t work out,” Jodie said.

  “From the mouths of babes. I’ll think on it. I’ve got to call Melanie. Keep me posted, especially if there’s anything to report on the romance line.”

  “Keep dreaming.”

  “I can hope,” Etta said before she said good-bye and hung up.

  Jodie tossed the phone to the other side of the king-sized bed and laced her hands behind her head. Was she homesick? Maybe, but it didn’t feel like homesickness. She’d been on the road many times and had never felt like this. She couldn’t describe it, wasn’t sure she wanted to face the consequences if she did. Granny Etta used to tell her not to ask a question if she didn’t want the answer, so she wasn’t going to delve into it. Not today. Today she was going to shut her eyes, take a nice long nap and then go judge the bull riding at the PRCA Championship Rodeo. Tomorrow she planned to sleep late, read a good book, or watch television, judge again that night, and come right back to the hotel. She needed these two days to unwind and get ready for a stint in San Antonio. Thinking of the two days before the fair with Jimmy on his turf brought on even crazier feelings. Her eyes wouldn’t shut and her mind refused to stop running. So she reached for the phone and called her sister Rosy.

  “Hey, lady, it’s snowing in Lincoln and colder than an Alaskan well-digger’s belt buckle. Tell me what this great news is Granny Etta won’t share,” she said when Rosy answered.

  “So she called. Are you okay with her giving the lodge to Melanie?”

  “Hey, I’m elated. Now we just have to find a job for Vicky and Matt and we’ll have the whole family back in Murray County,” Jodie answered.

  “What’d she tell you about my news?”

  “Not one blessed thing except that you aren’t pregnant,” Jodie said.

  Rosy laughed. “Not yet, but hopefully it will happen soon. My news is this: I’ve been approached by one of those government agencies with initials to work for them. I’d be on a consulting basis and teaching once a year for about six weeks right here in Sulphur.”

  “Wow, that’s great. Are you going to do it?”

  “Probably. I’ll only have to be away from home when there’s an emergency. Mostly they’ll send the recruits to me for intense training. I’ll teach them to follow trails in the woods as well as in the city. They’ve already asked to book the lodge for six weeks, and I’d be teaching here on the ranch.”

  “How’s Trey with that?”

  “He thinks it’s wonderful. He says it’s a talent.”

  “He’s right. Hate to admit that he’s right about anything, but it is a talent. You can weed out the ones who couldn’t find their hind ends with both hands and a flashlight,” Jodie said.

  “That sounds like what they said only in more technical terms. They’re interested in the ones with natural ability. The ones who don’t make it will go into another field. Now tell me about you. You’ve had two weeks with Jimmy. What’s up?”

  “Nothing,” Jodie said.

  “Would you tell me if there was?”

  “Probably not,” Jodie answered.

  “Call me when you change your mind?”

  “Will do but I expect I’ll call before that because hell will have to freeze over before I change my mind about Jimmy. He’s very secretive. Not much can happen through a closed door. Not that I’d want it to anyway. He’s sure not my type. More Greta’s.” Jodie tried to be flippant. It came out flat.

  “Methinks my sister doth protest too much,” Rosy
said.

  “And methinks all four of you with new husbands have weddings on the brain,” Jodie said.

  “Greta’s type is Kyle. It just took her a while to figure it out and we do have weddings on the brain. We hope you can join us before you start drawing social security.”

  “I’m only twenty-six,” Jodie protested.

  “Tick-tock, tick-tock. Hear that. It’s time running out,” Rosy teased.

  “I’m going to hang up now. Good-bye.”

  Jodie didn’t find a thing funny in her sister’s good-natured ribbing. All she wanted to do was take a nap and forget about James Moses Crowe for a little while. And Rosy had put her thoughts right back on him. Why did that man keep his life so close to his heart and refuse to share even little bits of it? She knew there was someone named Cathy who made reservations and took care of business for him. Was she a middle-aged secretary or much, much more? Then there was his friend, Paul, who knew all his secrets so well he deemed himself Jimmy’s therapist. She’d heard him talk to Cathy on the phone but only about business. She’d never actually heard a conversation between him and Paul.

  Turn the tables though, and he’d overheard her talking to her family more than once. He knew she had three sisters and her grandmother ran a bed-and-board place called Cahill Lodge. It wasn’t fair.

  To top it all, her arm felt like it had a family of fire ants living under the cast. Twice now she’d actually scratched the cast and broken a fingernail. She needed something long and skinny to scratch with. She looked through her suitcase and found nothing. Opened the desk drawer; it was empty. Went on to the dresser drawers and right there in the last one, slid all the way to the back was a plastic fly swatter. She grabbed it up like a long-lost sister. Holding the business end of the swatter, she stuck the handle down inside the cast and carefully relieved the horrible itch. Three more weeks to go. Right after the stint in San Antonio she could go to the rodeo doctor and have the thing removed. It wouldn’t be a day too soon either. She was sick of not having two healthy arms. She was about to meet Jimmy’s friends and maybe even his family. She couldn’t even fasten a necklace or fix a fancy hairdo with one hand.

 

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