“Not important, huh?” I wondered aloud without thinking and flicked my eyes over the pages to find Jessica’s eyes wide open. Her jaw flexed nervously, but she shook her head and started talking with her hands.
“Eric, I know you probably sustained a concussion and you weren’t thinking clearly, so don’t worry about it. I know you didn’t mean to say that.” She gave a half-smile and I coughed, trying to mask the emotions in the air, before deciding I’d had enough with the deflections. I attempted to push myself up with just my right arm, which proved to be a terrible idea.
“No, stop, what the hell are you doing?” Jessica was running to me, gently forcing my shoulder back down. “Just because nothing in your arm was broken doesn’t mean it won’t be bruised and sore. You fell at least five stories, Eric! You’re lucky to be alive at all.” I gave in begrudgingly, staying down.
“I was trying to stand, or at least sit up, because I don’t feel like it’s as romantic from this position.” Her head jerked back and she squinted.
“Romantic? Eric, I told you, there’s no need-”
“Jessica, just let me say what I have to say, okay?” Stubbornly, I forced my body to lean on my elbow at least, despite the look of concern from Mills. “I don’t know what my cracked brain meant, and I’m not the most emotionally-aware man, but I do know that I like you…a lot. I don’t know to what extent or if you feel the same way, but I’m tired of hiding it behind masculine grunts or pretending not to notice the awkward glances. It’s not like we haven’t thought about it before, but no more dancing around. You’re an incredible woman, and I’m lucky to call you my partner, but I want to call you more. I don’t know if there’s a different term after forty, but I’d really like to be your…boyfriend, or whatever.” She smiled, a genuine grin that spread to her ears and lit up the room, and felt my forehead.
“Hmm…no fever, but now I know I’m right about the concussion.” I rolled my eyes and fought through the pain enough to lean up and kiss her. She was taken off-guard but quickly recovered, placing her hand against the back of my neck. Whether she meant to or not, the support really helped as my arm was struggling.
“There,” I breathed, pulling back a little and looking her in the eyes. “Now, will you believe that it’s me talking?”
“Easy there, killer,” she joked, pushing me down again. “You need to get some rest and worry about healing enough for us to move out.”
“As long as you know where I stand on us, I promise I’ll focus on getting better.”
“Alright,” she sighed, shaking her head with a grin, “I know where we stand, you stubborn ass of a man.”
“Good.” I smirked, adjusting the back pack under my head. “How long did it take me to heal the last time I got shot, again?”
**********
It took me a few days to be mobile, so Jessica left with Sampson to check on the horses. While she was gone, I took the opportunity to catch up on some light reading. I knew Jessica was a badass, but…looking over her adventure while I was unconscious, she kept giving me new reasons to admire her. By the time I finished reading her entry and taking another dose of penicillin, she returned to the convenience store with the horses.
“I figured I’d bring them back with me so you didn’t have to go far on foot.” I held up my journal and raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door of the storage room.
“Were you ever going to tell me that you almost got killed when you went for the medicine?” She shrugged and finished tying the reins to a bar under the front desk of the store.
“I’m alive, Eric, that’s all that matters. Besides, I didn’t want you to worry about something that was already done.”
“Jessica, you know I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you because of me.” She finished with the reins and walked over to me, taking my face in her hands.
“I’m a grown woman, Eric. My choices are my own, just like yours, and if you can put yourself in danger for everyone else, I think I can take a few risks to keep you on this side of the ground.” I frowned, but knew better than to argue with her logic. “Now,” she smirked, patting my cheek, “are you going to try and get on your horse, or are you going to keep judging actions that you know damn well you would have done yourself?” I pushed past her, hobbling my leg to the horse and pulling myself up. The pressure on my ribs proved too much, to the point that I thought something was pulling internally, and I dropped back down, breathing heavily.
“Dammit,” I heaved, frustration creeping in.
“It’s okay, Eric, we shouldn’t push it. Come on,” she guided me back toward the storage room. “Let’s eat dinner and try again tomorrow.” As darkness descended once more, Jessica built a small fire from shredded magazine clippings and we shared the contents of two cans of food. Over the flames, Jessica’s eyes met mine. “I want to ask you something.”
“Shoot,” I answered, eating a spoonful of baked beans and bacon. Seriously, those things never expired.
“What’s next? For us, and for…” She gestured around the room. “All of this.” I chewed thoughtfully, buying myself some time to answer.
“As for us, I have no idea. I think we’ll just have to see where it goes day to day, but I have a really good feeling.” I smiled and she couldn’t help but smile back. “I mean, we’ve survived three years together, and I think we can say we’ve been through a lot together.”
“Yeah,” she muttered, clearly reflecting on the arena and wondering if we had recovered our humanity. We had set out from San Antonio with redemption in mind, and, though we had killed a lot to reach this point, I felt like our hands were cleaner in those actions.
“We’ve come a long way from where we were, Jessica,” I added and she knew what I meant, because she nodded. “Now, as for what’s next? We’ll get this outpost up and running, let Murray do his thing, and head back to San Antonio for some much-deserved rest and relaxation.”
“Really?” she asked, her face lighting up at the prospect of being done. I paused, seriously thinking.
“I don’t know about you, but I think we’ve done everything we left San Antonio to do. I feel like I’ve been saying the same shit for years, being tired of fighting, tired of surviving, and I somehow find myself back out here, making the same mistakes over and over. This time feels…different, though. I don’t know if it’s because I have you, or because I’m honestly just tired, but I’m done forcing myself into exile.” Jessica walked around the fire and sat down next to me, taking my hand in hers in silence.
“Okay,” she said after a few minutes, turning her face to look at me. Her eyes looked determined, aided by the reflection of the fire. “Let’s go home.”
Part IX
Chapter 44
Two days later, I finally managed to pull myself up onto the damn horse, cursing every time there was a dip in the road to Virginia, where the nearest outpost was. I couldn’t help but look over at Calvin’s horse with regret, wondering if I could have done something to save the man, and know that his partner missed him just as much. The German Shephard stayed close to the horse, only moving to avoid hooves, so I made sure to get down and keep him company when we took a break. Calvin had been a good man, and I hated leaving his body trapped somewhere in that collapsed structure, so I could at least do right by his partner.
We were forced to scavenge for food the last stretch of our journey, but we made it to the Virginia outpost in three days, the sight of the walls appearing along the horizon as the sun began to sink. The soldiers at the gate welcomed us in, having heard of our exploits, some of which had been greatly exaggerated. Neither of us corrected them, though, because the stories clearly had a positive effect on survivor morale.
“Did you two really take out a thousand infected in Austin?”
“I heard an aerial bombing didn’t even phase you, Eric!”
“We have to ask, did the cannibals really make you play their game?”
“Dude, I don’t know how you kept go
ing after everything that happened. I would have just given up.” The last one hit harder than I expected, thinking back to waking up alone in that warehouse, but it all felt so long ago that it was almost surreal. I really had to remember to thank Kat for mass-producing my journal the next time I saw her.
After a hot meal and use of their shower facilities, which were damn-near luxurious, Jessica and I were led to the medical building, where a nurse and a Navy medic worked on fixing my broken body. They both commended Jessica on her work with a needle and gave an open invitation for her to join their staff. While the medical team finished replacing bandages where needed and giving me an actual sling, as well as a proper wrap for my ribs, Jessica asked to use their radio.
She transmitted back to Mississippi, filling Captain Murray in on the situation and informing him of the suitable location for an outpost in Pittsburg. He quickly replied that he would personally be arriving in Virginia with reinforcements within the week, saying that we would all ride north together. At the time, I thought it was strange that he would come along, but I quickly dismissed the thought as sleep beckoned.
Jessica had taken Sampson with her for the night, so waking up alone to the emptiness of a hotel room set me on edge. I couldn’t help but wonder how messed up I was that a quiet room made me nervous while the carnage of a battle felt calm. Still, I got up and trimmed my beard, noting how long my hair had gotten before trimming that, too. With a fresh face and clean clothes, I stepped out of the hotel room and leaned on my new cane as I walked down the hall to the lobby, the scent of eggs and bacon wafting around the corner. The cane was only temporary, as were the braces on my legs, until I passed a few more medical check-ups.
News must have been circulating around the outpost overnight, because dozens of eyes were staring at me as I entered the room. I took a plate from the stack and went through the line, each cook nodding to me as I passed through, before seating myself at an empty table in the back of the room, near an emergency door, out of habit.
I was chewing on scrambled eggs when I saw Jessica, waving her over to join my silent breakfast. She led Sampson to the table, taking a seat across from me after getting her own plate of food. I noticed that there was extra bacon on there for the canine, which was a kind gesture.
“Over the last year, they’ve managed to build a pretty good community here, complete with a farm and a few crops. It’s not much, but it’s a start, which is everything to some of these people.” I nodded over my cup of water, my eyes focused on an older woman walking toward us. She didn’t seem threatening, but my body tensed as she stopped behind Jessica.
“Excuse me,” she said nervously, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but are you Eric?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, unsure if I should confirm my identity. She stepped closer and leaned down to hug me, taking my hand in hers as tears welled in her eyes.
“Thank you,” she whimpered. “My daughter, Hannah, was with her husband in Arizona, and I thought…” She cut off as emotions took over, but she calmed down after a moment. “I was able to talk to my daughter for the first time since the outbreak because of you.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Are you Jessica, then?” Mills nodded and the woman hugged her as well. “The two of you saved my family. I hope you know how much that means to me.”
“I just wish we could’ve gotten there sooner.” It took me a minute to place the name after everything that had happened, but it finally registered. Hannah, the one we saved in Arizona, the only one we’d saved. The old woman turned and stared at me with sadness in her gaze, shaking her head.
“My daughter is alive and well because of the two of you. To me, that’s everything. You may want to, but everyone knows that you can’t save everyone. I hope you’re able to accept that and realize how much good you’ve done.” With that, she smiled to Jessica and bid farewell, leaving us to our breakfast once more.
“She’s right, you know,” Jessica spoke into her coffee. “You may not want to believe it, but you’re a good man, Eric.”
“I’ll believe it when you do,” I replied, watching doubt form on her face. “What do you say we finish breakfast and find ways to kill time until Murray gets here?” She nodded, handing a piece of bacon to Sampson, who snatched it up excitedly.
After we were done eating, Jessica and I walked the grounds of the outpost. The farm was no small plot of land, spanning several acres with a few cows and chickens. I didn’t know many crops they were growing, but I could identify wheat and corn stalks. Continuing our tour, we walked through a park where families were enjoying the sunny afternoon with their children, a sight I didn’t think I’d ever see again outside of San Antonio. Of course, before that, I never thought I’d see anyone smile again at all, so time proved that anything was possible. The rest of the outpost was a mixture of restaurants, hotel and residential barracks, and command centers, just like Texas.
The sun was beginning to set when Captain Murray arrived, riding up with a posse that stretched for a hundred yards. Upon spotting us near the gate, he grinned and we shook hands. He gave an order and the group behind him headed towards barracks, hooves clamoring past us.
“We’ll spend the night here and leave for Pittsburg at dawn. That work for you?”
“I just hope you brought something warmer,” I said, looking at the t-shirt and jeans that he sported. He laughed, the hint of a wheeze at the end that called for concern.
“I made sure everyone brought or borrowed warmer clothes for the trip, but I’m more worried about you. What the hell happened?”
“I brought a building down on my head, and then fell five stories.” I delivered it with a straight face, but Murray chuckled until he looked at Jessica. She was shaking her head at how ridiculous it sounded, but Murray got the hint.
“You’re serious?” he asked incredulously. I nodded and he laughed, that same wheeze on the tail, again. “Well, then I’m definitely glad you’re on our side.”
We headed back to the hotel where I had stayed the previous night, inviting Murray to occupy my room since it was a waste to keep the whole room to myself. I let him get cleaned up and ready for bed before I addressed my suspicions.
“I don’t mean to pry, but is there anything you want to tell me, Captain?” He looked over from his sleeping bag, setting down the book he was reading.
“Not particularly, why?”
“Your laugh…there was something about it that doesn’t sound alright.” He knew I wouldn’t let it go, so he sat up, staring me down.
“The doctors have taken a look and it’s not good. We no longer have the capabilities that we had before in the medical field, so there’s a good chance that I won’t be around to see the other side of this apocalypse.”
“Did they say what it is? I mean, is there anything we can do?”
“They did, but it was some doctor babble that I can’t remember. The short version was that my prognosis isn’t good.” He saw my eyes fall and sighed. “Look, no one else knows, so I’d appreciate you keeping this to yourself. I may not be able to see this thing through, but I’m okay with that as long as I know I’ve got people like you still kicking.”
“I will,” I replied, though I felt a pang of sadness. Once again, someone that had fought their hardest to survive was facing an enemy they were powerless to stop. Pushing aside the inevitable, though, Murray grinned and laid his head down.
“Good, now let’s get some shut-eye. We’ve got a big job ahead of us.”
He wasn’t joking, because the next month or two was a whirlwind of exhaustion, especially with the first week spent unable to bend at the knees. Leaving Sampson to be cared for in Virginia, we rode to Pittsburg, the cold weather hitting just as hard the second time around, and set about clearing space for the outpost. There wasn’t much opposition this time, especially with the freezing weather, so at least that was in our favor. Of course, numb fingers didn’t do as much good, so breaks were frequent for many people.
Everyone helped clea
r wreckage from the streets, harvesting any resource we could to build a suitable wall, even if that wall consisted of broken vehicles and furniture. We scavenged what food and supplies we could as we went, trying to avoid using our own stash of rations for as long as possible, but a snowstorm forced us inside for two days at one point.
It took longer than expected, but eventually the city of Pittsburg became home to Outpost Twenty-Six, something that made everyone cheer and celebrate. With the last building in the initial perimeter cleared, I hugged Jessica and kissed her, embracing the small victory and what it meant. Everything was finally coming together, but, as Murray checked in with San Antonio via a recently-established grounded cable network, he frowned.
“Eric, you need to head to Mississippi as soon as possible.”
Chapter 45
We hauled ass south, crossing the distance in six days with a slight detour to pick up Sampson and give back the medical equipment in Virginia, after Murray told us that Harper himself would meet us in Mississippi. For the colonel to leave San Antonio we knew this would be something big, but Murray couldn’t tell us more before we left. The horses seemed to enjoy the ride, though, not getting as much scenery over the last two years for fear of losing them to raiders or ferals. As we had discovered early on, the average infected seemed to ignore animals.
As soon as we came into view of the outpost, the gate guards on duty welcomed us inside with open arms, having not forgotten our actions when they were under siege. The sergeant at the gate told me we had arrived before Harper, but we took the time to see what kind of shape the outpost was in three years since the attack. Just looking around the entrance, though, it was clear that Murray had built up what was torn down.
The gate itself was reinforced, as well as the surrounding walls, with crossbeams and steel fastened to make sure nothing would be breaking through without serious explosives. Walkways had been constructed along the top of the walls, no longer limiting guards to just two directions. There had been a lot of work done on the interior of the outpost, too, with decimated structures now rebuilt or better than before. One of the hotels I remembered being engulfed in flames now stood with fresh paint and woodwork. It was almost as if the siege had never happened, but I could still see places where the concrete was singed or darkened from blood stains. The outpost served as a reminder that you could start over from anything, but the scars of your past would always remain.
A Broken World (Book 3): Fractured Memories Page 18
