by Ava Ashley
"Years?" she asks, the tears finally drying up.
"Savannah, I want to be with you," I say. “Not just for the night or the weekend. I don’t know where we’ll be a few years from now, but I really think that wherever we’ll be, we’ll be there together.” I do.
She smiles at me, that beautiful smile that brightens her stunning face right up and makes every other beautiful thing—the Grand Canyon, Caribbean beaches, Niagara Falls—pale in comparison. "I would like that, very much."
She hugs me back hard, resting her face on my chest, and I'm finally completely content.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Savannah
We have sex again.
I figure that there’s no undoing the damage that has been done, so I may as well indulge my cravings for this man and enjoy the amazing things that he makes my body feel. That, and the fact that I cannot resist him even when I try, as last night proved.
Besides, he came back. I thought he left me and that I was just another one-night stand. I thought he was off to do his own thing, without so much as a good morning kiss, and would come back at night with a casual ‘sup’ and act like we never were anything. I thought that maybe I was the only one who felt what we felt—but I was wrong. We really connected, in a way that I never had with anyone else and it was beautiful.
There are some cold, hard facts here. First, that I am irreversibly no longer a virgin. I can be as chaste as a nun for the rest of my life and that will not change the fact that I have been deflowered. My cherry has been popped, a serpent has been in the cave—whatever you want to call it, it means the same thing. I cannot go back or a fate worse than death awaits me. Second, the fact that I cannot go back means that there may be terrible repercussions for everyone in the motorcycle clubs. There’s so much money from the businesses they own, and even more under-the-table money from drugs, protection fees, and prostitution rings, that they’re armed better than the military forces of some small governments.
But they are grown men and I’m a grown woman and there is no reason on God’s green Earth why what I do with my genitals, and what I do want to do with my romance life, should decide such major matters as a bloody war. For goodness sake, this is the twenty-first century and it’s not like they don’t have minds of their own and the free license to change their minds. The joining of the families is just a stupid agreement that they made over a decade ago and they’ve had an uneasy peace since then, even though we weren’t yet united. Maybe they can decide to continue that and give it a break. Maybe they can decide that the formality of me marrying Nate is unnecessary.
It’s been over a month since I ran away and nothing has happened yet, so maybe they already have decided to get over themselves. After all, they’re well-enough armed and thoroughly trained to go to battle at any moment, so it’s not like they need anything close to this long to mobilize their men and start the bloodbath. They could do it overnight, if they wanted. But they haven’t, or the deaths and increased inner city violence would have been all over the news. It would be way too massive to fly under the radar. That there hasn’t been any such news, and I’ve been reading the paper daily since I ran away, at least the front page, is a decidedly good sign.
Cooper left for training with Vlad after we had sex and breakfast. He offered to cancel, but I told him to go ahead and go. I know that he has a big tournament coming up and the qualifying matches are already beginning. This is huge for him and I don’t want to mess with his dreams as I reevaluate my life and consider the possibility of realizing my dreams. Besides, this time, standing in the shower with the hot water running through my hair and the steam enveloping me in a safe blanket of warm, damp haze, is great for thinking. And I sure have a lot to think about. But standing here, in a state of perfect physical well-being and basking in the leftover endorphins from this morning’s romp in the sheets with Cooper, things are looking more positive than when I first woke up.
It’s too late for me to go back and fix things by giving up my life to Nate, even if I wanted to. I’ve been on the run for over a month, and settled in here for several weeks, and no one has found me. Aside from the close call with Lily at Bennie’s Pizza, and she didn’t even seem to be looking for me, I have been flying totally under the radar here. Who says I couldn’t do it for longer?
Cooper hasn’t pushed about where I’m from and what my story and my past are. In fact, he has insisted that he doesn’t care and that all that matters to him is who I am now. Maybe we can leave the past in the past and move on to build a new future together. We can stay here until we’ve saved up enough for a house, then move to another state, or even country, far out of the reach of the motorcycle clubs. I can start my own little tattoo parlor and Cooper can keep fighting, or set up a fighting school or something, and maybe we’ll get married and have beautiful little children and a shaggy-haired dog to run around in the yard of our house, all framed by a cute suburban fence all around it.
I know, I know. I’m getting so far ahead of myself that I sound like a tween with a crush. But is it really that impossible? Maybe, just maybe, things can be perfect.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Savannah
I sketch tattoo designs for the next few hours, pausing to have a bowl of cereal midway through. I had breakfast with Cooper earlier, but I’m absolutely ravenous and have a banana and a protein bar, too. We certainly like our physical activities and round two this morning was fairly gymnastic. I smile remembering it, but then make myself focus on my sketches. I’m determined to put together both a strong portfolio of professional work, of which Cooper’s shoulder blade piece is clearly already going to be my crown jewel, and a book full of sketches for first-time clients and people who just aren’t quite sure what they want yet. I thought I would be too distracted to be productive today, but it’s quite the opposite.
I feel so free. I am filled with happiness because what was the end of the world just hours earlier, the loss of my virginity, is now the agent of my freedom. Because I cannot be Savannah Santos anymore, even if I wanted to go back to my old life, I can fully be just Savannah. I am not second-guessing my choice to run away from home. I am not constantly having to decide again and again to stay away. When I bled, I finalized my decision and, since it’s finally decided, I no longer have to wonder about it and constantly ask myself if I’m doing the right thing. I had a guidance counselor back in school who used to say that there are many different paths in life and the most important thing isn’t which of the paths you choose, but that you’re fully committed to the path that you do choose and that you make the best of it. She was talking about college choices, of course, and not making the choice to get married to a total douchebag or run away and potentially start a major gang war, the likes of which the streets haven’t seen in a long time, but the general idea carries over to my unique circumstances, as well.
I’m finally able to invest myself fully in my sketching and pursuing the dream future that I’ve built in my castles in the clouds since I was a little girl. Because my dream future can be my reality now, or very soon, I have the energy and motivation and inspiration to do all within my power to realize it.
I’m so wrapped up in my sketching that I don’t even hear the door open a while later. I don’t notice that Cooper is back from the gym until he has me wrapped in his arms.
“Hi there, sexy,” he greets me, leaning around to kiss my neck, just under my right ear. “How’s my girl been?”
“Hi, baby,” I reply, spinning around to face him. “I’ve just been sketching. It’s been great.”
“Mmm, you’re so talented,” Cooper says, between kisses all over my face. He’s sweaty and getting it all over me, but I couldn’t care less. The smell is surprisingly not at all off-putting—it’s even a little bit appealing. I always complained when Nate tried to hug me after playing soccer, just to get on my nerves, or when Wolf hung around downstairs for ages after working out, emptying the fridge and simultaneously stinking up the entir
e living area, but Cooper’s smell is attractive. His sweat smells like unadulterated man, and breathing in the smell of pure masculinity has the opposite of an off-putting effect on me.
I close my eyes and enjoy it, nuzzling his neck. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’ve started grinding on him and I’m starting to breathe heavier.
“Let’s take this to the shower, babe.” Cooper doesn’t wait for a response, he just picks me up and carries me over to the bathroom, where he turns on the water with one hand and slides his other hand into my underwear. “You’re wet for me.”
“Take me,” I breathe, pulling my top over my head. Cooper is already shirtless, his perfect body glistening with sweat, and I lean forward to pull his gym shorts down. Without the extra layer of clothing, his erect member strains against the thin fabric of his shorts.
“You’re hard for me,” I say, glancing up at him. “I like it.”
I pull down his boxers and take his hard member in my hand, stroking it up and down with my fingers, before taking him deep in my mouth and starting to suck. I swirl my tongue around his cock, tasting him, and resist the urge to give in to my own appetites and beg him to fuck me now. Instead, I enjoy the moment and the knowledge that he is stiff like this for me. No one else, just me.
He pulls me up to my feet after a few more moments and enters the shower, pulling me in after him. He slams the door shut and immediately presses me up against the inside wall of the shower, one hand on the glass beside my face and the other on my left breast, fingers teasing my nipple as he takes my mouth in his own.
I give control of my body over to him, to do with as he will. He pulls one leg up to his hip and I wrap it around his waist, his erect member now poised at my entrance. He directs me away from the stream of the water as he reaches out of the shower and grabs a condom. He puts it on expertly, then returns his attention to me.
He looks me in my eyes. “I’m going to make you come for me,” he says. Then he mounts me, exciting every cell in my body with each of his thrusts. Each one takes him in deeper until Cooper is all the way in me, our bodies moving in an ancient rhythm of synchronized desire. He brings me to the brink of climax, each move increasing my mounting pleasure and longing for the ultimate release. I suck on his bottom lip and pull him to me, even though we really can’t get any closer. I want him so badly and the passion of our embrace is deliciously irresistible.
He takes my face in his hands and makes me look him straight in the eyes as he continues to thrust. We go over the brink together, looking into each other’s eyes, as we climax together and his hot seed spurts into me, filling me up with a satisfying warmth from deep within.
I rest my head against his chest and can hear the thump of his heart, beating nearly as quickly as my own. I give in to the satisfied warmth that spreads throughout my body, leaving me weak but completely satiated and in bliss.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Savannah
We finally get clean and dried off, but by then we’re starving again.
“Let’s get some pizza,” Cooper suggests, as we lie on his bed, his arm around me and my head on his chest.
“Bennie’s?” I ask, cautiously. Pizza does sound really good right now and I haven’t had a decent slice since I saw Lily there. I’ve avoided the place like the plague since then. It’s certainly about as dangerous as the black plague was!
“Yeah, it’s the best pizza place on this side of town,” Cooper says matter-of-factly.
“I’m not really feeling pizza right now,” I lie. “Besides, then we have to get dressed. Wouldn’t you rather stay like this?” He’s wearing a sexy pair of light blue, silk boxers and I’m wearing a matching bra and panty set in black lace.
“Mmmhmm,” he nods, looking me up and down appreciatively. “You make a strong argument.”
“I’ll make lunch, too,” I say, and bounce up from the bed. My energy is back up after our energizing endorphins session in the shower and I would much rather make lunch for us, something I actually enjoy, than risk an unwanted encounter with my past at Bennie’s Pizza. The chance that Lily—or anyone else from either motorcycle club, for that matter—would be at Bennie’s again is incredibly slim. It was probably just some odd fluke that she was over here in the first place, but whatever it was, the risk isn’t worth taking.
I chide myself for going too far with that train of thought and focus on the present moment, instead. I’m basking in the afterglow of mind-blowing sex with this sexy and wonderful man who is currently sprawled on the bed, looking at me like I’m the yummiest piece of candy in the store and he has a raging sweet tooth. I flounce out of the room with a little extra swish in my hips, knowing that he’s enjoying the view.
I’m so glad that I bothered to take the time to cook. I quickly whip up some pizza-style omelets, folded over a red sauce, meats and veggies, and mixed-cheese filling, make some toast and call Cooper over to eat.
“Wow,” he says, walking into the room. “That looks amazing.”
“Thanks,” I say, handing him a plate.
“So what’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?” I ask. He’s already tearing into his meal. This is a man who burns a lot of calories every day. I’m glad I’m used to that and knew to make a lot of food from my experience with Wolf. Having a big brother is good for something, after all, even if he ignores you.
Cooper takes a big glug of orange juice, then looks up from his food for a moment. “This is incredible, babe. Thanks,” he says, “And I have the first official qualifying match of the tournament today. Will you come?”
“I would love to,” I say, “So that decides if you advance in the tournament or not?”
Cooper laughs a little, shaking his head. “Babe, I don’t want this to come off the wrong way. But, frankly, I’m in the tournament. I’ve won all of the last few tournaments, so there’s really no way that I wouldn’t be in the tournament. Nah, this just decides what seed I am in. If I win this match, which I will, I get into the top seed. That means that I get better sponsorships for the tournament and that, in turn, means that I get more money. I also don’t have to fight as many of the small matches to get to fight the best people, so there’s less waste of my fucking time. I’m not interested in smashing some little punk’s skull in just because I can. There’s no sport in that. I like fighting an opponent. I want a challenge. The fighter I’m up against tonight, Carl Crusher, gave his last four opponents concussions and rarely ends a match without knocking a guy out cold at least once, or crushing a few bones. It’s how he got his name.”
“That sounds terrifying!” I can tell that my mouth is hanging open, but I can’t contain my horror. I don’t want Cooper to be beaten to a pulp.
“If you’re not good, yeah, you’re gonna get killed,” Cooper shrugs. “But your ass shouldn’t have been in the ring in the first place if you’re not training like your life depends on it. Every idiot knows that and if some twerp thinks he’s going to get up there and throw a few wussy punches, then he’s already dumb enough that getting his brain rattled can’t do too much damage. And maybe the broken bones and missing teeth will remind the idiot to stay away from the big boys if he can’t handle himself.”
It’s a whole different side of Cooper. I mean, I could always tell that he’s a man’s man and a tough guy. But he’s in lover mode—I mean romance, not love—with me and is sweet with me. But right now, talking about tonight’s fight, I can tell that he can clearly be dangerous. And instead of scaring me away, that fact turns me on. Not only does it turn me on, but it also comforts me.
Knowing just how dangerous Cooper really is, and realizing that the brutal fighting in the ring last night was all real and not at all theatrical or performed, as I thought at the time, makes me feel a little better about letting him get involved with me. Not that he needs my permission for anything or would accept it if I said he should stay away for his safety. But I come from a dangerous world, and getting involved with me puts any man in a potentially deadly s
ituation. Knowing that Cooper is so used to, and comfortable, with mortal danger helps. And knowing that he can hold his own in these kinds of situations also really helps.
“Sounds like a pretty crucial match,” I say.
“It is,” Cooper nods. “But having my girl there to cheer me on, there’s no way that I won’t win.” He picks up my hand across the table, just like a true Prince Charming, and kisses the back of my it before smiling at me and returning to his lunch.
“I’m sure you would have won, anyway,” I say. But it still felt pretty great to hear him say that and I can’t keep the smile off of my face. “But I’ll be there, rooting for you.”
Speaking to Cooper is easy. We switch between topics of conversation, flipping from fighting to tattoos to dreams and even to totally pointless day to day stuff, with ease. I feel so incredibly comfortable with him and finally, with him, I dare to have hope.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Cooper
“I’m telling you, man, she’s really a one-of-a-kind girl,” I say. I shake my head as I pull my leg back and stretch my hamstring. I am at the gym pre-fight, getting pumped up and warmed up with Vlad, and though I usually don’t talk about girls with Vlad at all, this is a girl worth telling my bud about. She is all that I can think about, but I know it won’t throw me off for tonight’s match. She isn’t a distraction—she’s a motivation to win in an even bigger way. I am going to make my girl proud tonight.
“I can see that,” Vlad replies with an amused smile. “No really, Cooper. I’m happy for you. You need this, I’m glad you finally found a girl worth opening yourself up to. Men are tough, but we need our women.”
