by Rachel Lee
“I know. But now I truly understand why I can’t find work. It’s not just that I revealed criminal activities. It’s that I have no honor left. My reputation is ruined, completely.”
He reached out and took her hand, pulling her close on her rolling chair. “Not with everyone.”
She tried to smile, sensing she failed miserably. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and drew her close to his side. “You did the right thing, Lacy. Unfortunately, sometimes there’s a high price for that.”
He would certainly know, she thought miserably. It felt nice to have his supportive hug, however, and the knot of anger inside her began to ease. “You know what they say about eavesdroppers.”
“Of course.”
“I think I just eavesdropped on my own life. I won’t do that again.” But that brought her right back around to what he was trying to do. “Jess? Are you having any luck? Should you keep this up?”
“Actually,” he answered slowly, “I’m learning things all right. And I’m getting steadily uneasier.”
She reached up to hold his hand where it rested on her shoulder. “Like what?”
“Only four other men in my unit survived the last action I was in. Two died before they could be gotten to advanced treatment centers. That left two plus me, and those two have died since.”
Shocked, she twisted to look straight at him. “Combat?”
He shook his head. “One appears to have been a suicide. The other was a...hunting accident.”
She noted the hesitation when he spoke. Her own uneasiness began to mount.
“I know the suicide rate is high among returning vets. Way too high. But it’s almost as if anyone who remembers that action is being erased.”
“So that just leaves you.”
“So it appears.”
“But you don’t remember much about it!”
“Not really.” He looked again at the computer screen. “There’s got to be something. Oh, I know the odds are high that there’s nothing suspicious about how those two men died, but...”
“But now you’ve been threatened.”
He nodded slowly, not looking at her. “I wish I could get the after-action reports, but I don’t know anyone anymore who might be able to access them for me.”
“What about your CO?”
“Well...” Again the hesitation. “Not that bastard. Apparently, he’s out there somewhere, but I can’t find him. He’d be the last one I’d ask anyway.”
“Why?”
“Because he ordered us into that village. And he called in the air strike.”
She stiffened. “Jess...”
“I know. Believe me, I know. I’m thinking about him, and I’m not liking what I’m thinking.”
“But why would he be killing the survivors? It doesn’t make sense.”
“You know, I assumed he walked away from that without a scratch on his career, even though he deserved one. But he was a ring knocker on the fast track.”
“Ring knocker?”
“Academy graduate. Headed for the heights. Military family, married a general’s daughter, did all the right things. I think he was in Afghanistan just to get his campaign ribbons. Career acceleration. Anyway...” He shook his head again. “That type usually gets wrapped in bubble wrap and the skids get greased for them. I just assumed that whatever happened on that operation, he’d skate through it.”
She thought that over. “So it’s not all merit?”
“It never has been, sweetheart. Never. Meritocracies exist in people’s dreams. In reality, someone is always pulling the strings of power, and the chosen few go right to the top like cream. He was among the chosen, so whatever happened, I assumed he wouldn’t get any trouble over it.”
“But maybe he did?”
“I’m wondering.”
“But to kill someone over that? Surely he can’t undo it now.” But even as she spoke, she knew this wouldn’t be about undoing it. Only about revenge. “But you were a medic, Jess. How many times did you say you wouldn’t know much about those issues? How could he hold you responsible?”
His voice turned to ice. “I may not remember a lot, Lacy, but I remember holding that glory hound accountable for walking us into that hell. And maybe when I was in the hospital, half gone on painkillers and meds—maybe I said so. Hell, maybe I ranted about it. God, this little girl—”
He’d mentioned the little girl before. Clearly, she was troubling him as much as anything, but she didn’t know if she should even ask. Questioning him might only make it worse, but the gnawing ache in her heart for him was almost too much to bear.
But then he started talking. “We had this mission when we went into those remote villages. A second mission. We weren’t just there to clear out Taliban, but to win hearts and minds. That’s what they called it.”
“I think I heard something about that.”
“Yeah. Well, we’d help rebuild where we could, if they’d let us. One time I’ll never forget, we were running around like lunatics, trying to help some guy round up his goats. They’d broken out of their pen and he was terrified they’d eat a neighbor’s crop. So there we were, chasing them. Thanks goodness some of the guys actually had farm experience.” He smiled faintly as he spoke, apparently enjoying the memory.
“Other times, we knew as soon as we walked in that the people were terrified. They’d hide in their houses and wouldn’t come near us. It was a warning to clear out because the insurgents were there, so usually we cleared out. But other times...well, it was part of my job to provide medical care as I could to the civilians. Vaccinations, if I had the serum with me, wound treatment, antibiotics, that kind of thing. Most of the time, I wasn’t allowed to treat the women, but little girls who were young enough, I could help, as long as their mothers or fathers were present.”
“Okay,” she said encouragingly. “I think that’s wonderful.”
“So anyway, we walked into that village. None of the usual warning signs to let us know they were afraid. I’m convinced they had no idea the insurgents were hanging around. But I’m wondering if we did.”
Her heart quickened. “Why?”
“Because it was a detour from our planned mission. Somebody had gotten wind those guys were up on the mountains, on the cliffs overlooking us. Why else would we divert that way? But it makes even less sense that we walked into that valley, instead of coming from above. Unless...”
“Unless?” she prodded when he remained silent.
“Unless some glory hound thought he could take out a whole bunch of insurgents with an air strike. But he’d need a reason to call for one, since we evidently had no solid intel on them.”
Horror gripped her. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Would someone really do that?”
“Bait a trap with his own men? Hell, yeah.” He fell silent and she let him be as she struggled to believe that anyone would do such a heartless thing.
“All those people,” she whispered eventually.
“Exactly. All those people. Including a little girl of six or seven who had an infected gash on her arm that I was cleaning up when the shooting started. I know she got hit. What I’ll never know is if she made it, because that’s the last thing I remember except insanity.”
Time crept slowly by, neither of them speaking. “Of course, there’s another possibility,” he finally said.
“Which is?”
“He’s erasing any witnesses so it won’t come back to haunt him.”
She felt perilously close to vomiting. She thought she’d seen ugliness, but apparently she hadn’t even scraped its surface. “Is there any way you can find out if he’s still on the fast track?”
“I can’t even find him on the internet. He’s probably smart enough to stay off social media, because a wrong word or two c
ould cost him. I have no idea where he’s stationed, and getting a list of active service members is tough. I don’t know how many congressional documents I’d have to pour through to find out if he’s been promoted, and even then I couldn’t be sure it’s him, and wouldn’t know how to find him. The world isn’t exactly low on Samuel Johnsons.”
Despite the roiling horror inside her, she could see a flicker of humor in that. “Sam Smith would have been worse.”
“Barely.” He rubbed his eyes. “I found those two others because their death notices were in the press. This guy is flying under most radars.”
She pushed away the mental images he’d elicited in her and chewed that over for a few moments. “Is that usual, flying under the radar?”
“Yeah, if you want to stay on the fast track. Keep your nose clean is the first rule.”
“And his nose could be dirtied by this.”
“It may have already been. Or he might be trying to prevent it. Questions must certainly have arisen if he wasn’t following orders when he sent us into that village. He might have provided a good explanation of some kind.”
“If so, what would you know that would be a threat to him? I don’t get this at all, Jess. You were a medic. You wouldn’t know all those details.”
“No.” He leaned back and let the computer go to its screensaver. “No, but I do know that we walked in there unprepared, that even the villagers had no idea that insurgents were in the area. That could be enough to raise questions about what he did if, for example, he claimed that he had received intelligence in the field and acted on it for a good reason. Lots of ways to justify changing your orders at the last minute. A certain amount of individual agency is allowed to field officers.” He shook his head. “Why now? It’s been four years. It has to be revenge. Or he’s nuts.”
“But... I’m confused here. Say he did receive intelligence about those insurgents. Say he claimed that. You said yourself you should have gone in there differently.”
“But who’s left to say we didn’t go in there combat-ready? Me. He could have said the insurgents were in town, according to his intel, and he sent us in to clear them out. There’s nobody left to argue otherwise.”
“What exactly did he say about the change in the mission?”
He shook his head a little. “That we were diverting to avoid a large group of insurgents. Look, I can’t know what he was thinking. I do know that I thought he was a glory hound. The diversion from our original mission was supposed to put us in a better position. When those grenades started coming from the cliffs above, I had a split second to wonder if the guy had seriously miscalculated. In retrospect, I wonder if he got exactly the outcome he wanted. And I have no way to find out if he paid for that day or if he got a medal.”
He pushed back from the table. “Let’s go get something at the diner, then head home. I need to do some more thinking about all of this. It’s a muddle, and not only in my own head.”
* * *
He didn’t say any more. He’d probably already said too much. He’d seen the looks flitting across Lacy’s face and knew how much he’d disturbed her with his honesty. But she had insisted on staying, and since she was here she had a right to know what they might be up against. If he was even remotely right that it was his former CO.
But his conviction had grown from the deaths of the other two who had survived that battle. He’d known Johnson for only a few months, but the guy hadn’t been a complete unknown. Stories had followed him from other postings, and while he wasn’t supposed to be in Afghanistan for long, Jess had seen enough ring knockers move in and move out after spending just enough time to claim their campaign ribbons to know just how well their butts were protected by the higher-level brass.
They all knew the guy was being groomed. Officers like that made them all nervous, because some would make decisions with an eye to a star someday. More than one soldier had died as a result of some guy’s ambition.
But could he be certain it was Johnson? And even if it was, did he know enough about the guy to defend against him? To guess what approach he might take?
Once again, the need to get Lacy out of here overwhelmed him, but he couldn’t force her to get on a bus. He made up his mind that after they got a bite at the diner, they were going over to see the sheriff. Maybe if Gage had gotten sufficient reassurance that Lacy wasn’t in danger, she would agree to leave. He could always argue that he could protect himself better if he didn’t have someone else to worry about.
Nor would it be untrue. The thing was, he couldn’t be absolutely certain yet that she was out of danger, and he’d never forgive himself if he sent her off and it turned out that all of this was about her, and not him at all.
Sitting across the table from her, he realized that he no longer expected to see Sara every time he heard Lacy speak, or listened to the approach of her steps. A link that he had believed unbreakable in his mind had broken. Lacy was part of his life now, not part of his relationship with his late wife.
That was a good thing, he supposed, especially given that they’d made love last night. He’d feared, for the briefest moment, that she might feel like a stand-in. If she ever asked, he’d be able to say truthfully that it wasn’t so.
He ordered roast beef and mashed potatoes with gravy for himself, and Lacy settled on a potato and cheese casserole. She needed to pack those calories in.
He hadn’t studied much in the way of tactics and strategy; that hadn’t been his role. Oh, yeah, he’d been through combat training—every marine had, even the medics that came over from the Navy, because in the Corps everyone was expected to be a fighter when needed. But that wouldn’t give him much of a leg up on a man who had actually studied tactics, maybe even planned some operations himself.
Except, like a great neon sign in his brain, were the words, He sure screwed up that last one. While he packed in his own lunch with little thought of niceties, he considered what he could remember of that horrible day. A change in orders. Diversion to a small town from which they were supposed to launch a surprise attack on the insurgents.
He was fairly sure he’d heard that right. The entire unit had gotten the impression that their original objective had been so overrun, they needed a new plan. They were to group in the village while gleaning more intel on the enemy.
Except none of it had worked that way. When the fire started raining down on them from above, he’d been convinced that Johnson had known who was in those cliffs, that it had nothing to do with their original objective being overrun, and that he’d set it up so they could call in an air strike, something they normally wouldn’t have done so close to a friendly village.
But all of that had occurred to him in mere seconds, seconds that had seemed endless, but still only seconds before the girl he was trying to help fell, before the grenade had exploded and taken his leg.
How could he be sure, when things had happened so fast that he couldn’t even throw himself over that girl to protect her, that his impressions had been right?
He raised his eyes from his plate and saw that Lacy appeared pinched around the eyes. Instantly, he felt bad. “I’m sorry. I’m eating like a pig at a trough and ignoring you.”
“I’m fine and you’re obviously thinking. What you told me... Jess, I’m sorry you have to rack your brains to remember something so awful.”
“I should have racked my brains a long time ago.”
She shook her head a little and scooped up another spoonful of her casserole. “How could you know? Anyway, we can’t be sure it’s this CO of yours. You know that.”
“Of course I know that.” Immediately he softened his tone. No need to bark at her because he was facing things he should have faced before. “We’re going over to the sheriff after we’re done and find out if he’s learned anything. And then I’m going to have to think about things I haven’t thought
about in years, like how to make us safe, no matter who’s pulling this stuff.” He hesitated, then tried once again. “If the sheriff says there’s no one coming after you, you could get out of here.”
Something in her face stiffened. “Trying to get rid of me, Jess?”
Oh, hell, could he have said anything more stupid, especially after last night?
“I know I’m not Sara,” she rushed on, “but...”
“I don’t want you to be Sara.” He spoke evenly, spacing the words for emphasis. “I never wanted that, and will never want that. When you first arrived, it brought back some memories, freshened the loss a bit, but I don’t regret it. All I want you to be is Lacy. And I’m not trying to get rid of you. I’m trying to spare you from whatever is coming. Don’t damn me for that.”
Her face softened slightly, but she said in a voice like steel, “I’m not leaving you to face this creep alone.”
“I might have more to worry about if you’re in the picture.”
That caused her to bite her lip and look down. Then she shook her head, raising her chin and staring back at him. “And you need someone to watch your back. Everyone does. Tell me what to do, what not to do, and I won’t get in your way, I swear.”
Okay, she wasn’t going to go. That would complicate his planning, but he figured he could do it. But he also figured one more dash of icy reality might help. “Can you handle a gun?”
He expected her to hesitate, to say she’d never touched one, but she astonished him. “Dad taught me when I was a kid. Pirates were always a problem.”
“Pirates!” That shook him out of his self-absorption.
“Yes. With a nice boat like that? It’s always a possibility. He was concerned about drug runners, and his boat was fast, with a good-sized hold. Taking someone’s boat in the middle of the sea is a great way to cover your tracks, I guess. It had happened to others, so he took what he thought were reasonable precautions.”
“Pirates,” he repeated. Live and learn. He knew about the piracy off the Somali coast, but in the Caribbean? But when he thought about it, he could see it. An awful lot of drugs came up that way from South America. “How’d that make you feel?”
