by Elle Thorpe
I didn’t particularly want to talk to the guard, but my curiosity got the better of me. I took the job ad to his booth and pressed it against the clear plastic. “Has this job been filled? The ad appears old.”
He swiveled on his chair lazily and cast an eye over the piece of paper. “No. Teachers don’t last long around here. It’s been months since we had one.”
“So who’s teaching the men right now?”
“No one.”
I frowned at the thought there might be men behind those walls who wanted to better themselves but couldn’t because of a lack of resources. At my core, I wholeheartedly believed in education. And that it should be free and readily available to everyone. Guilt niggled at me. I wasn’t helping the problem by taking a position at a very exclusive primary school. I’d let myself be swayed by the dollars, and I didn’t feel good about that.
“Your visit is denied by the way.”
That snapped me back to the real reason I was here. “Excuse me? What do you mean denied?”
“Do you need a dictionary to look it up?”
Oh my God, this man was such a douchebag! “I know what it means, but why was it denied? I gave you everything you asked for. I’m a frigging elementary school teacher, for Christ’s sakes. What do you think I’m trying to do? Smuggle in drugs and weapons?”
His gaze narrowed. “Are you?”
I threw my hands up. “I made it through the metal detectors at the gate, didn’t I?”
He ran his tongue over his teeth as he studied me. “You aren’t on Michaelson’s approved visitor list.”
“So put me on it.”
“Can’t.”
“Because….” Honestly, the man was infuriating, and drawing information out of him was like getting blood out of a stone.
“It’s up to the prisoners who’s on their list. I can’t force him to put your name on it, lady.”
“But you could ask him nicely. Or is that not in your wheelhouse? To do something nicely?”
A smile flickered at the corner of his mouth, like he found my frustration amusing.
That only pissed me off more.
“I did ask him. I buzzed down to his section while you were busy romanticizing that teacher’s job in your head. He doesn’t want to see you. In fact, I think his exact message was, tell her not to come back.”
I ground my teeth, annoyed with Heath that he’d declined to talk to me for a second time. And annoyed with this jerk, because, well, he was a jerk. “I wasn’t romanticizing it. I just believe in education.”
He raised one eyebrow. “That’s what all the prison groupies say.”
I was suddenly glad he was on the other side of a protective barrier, because in that moment, I was seriously contemplating violence. Those chairs were lucky they were bolted down because I very well might have turned into one of those people who threw them. I clutched the job ad tighter in my fist, and with a huff, I stomped out of the waiting room.
I was pretty sure the man was laughing as I did so.
12
Mae
I did a thing. And whenever I did a thing, the first person I told was Tori. For as long as I could remember, I’d never kept a secret from her. I knew she wouldn’t be happy about the one I was currently harboring, so I spent the rest of my day trying to distract myself from the urge to ring her and spill my guts. I cleaned my condo, avoiding Jayela’s bedroom again. The room had been thoroughly cleaned by a professional service, though I still couldn’t bring myself to step foot in her bedroom. So I cleaned around it. I scrubbed the bathroom, including the grout in the tiles, mopped the floors, and baked an extravagant lasagne for my dinner. I only had one week left of the school year, not that they’d let me come back just yet, so I didn’t have any planning to do. The rest of my night was spent on the couch watching Netflix with my fingers twitching above my phone every few minutes.
I really wanted to tell her.
By the time I went to bed and spent hours tossing and turning, I knew it was a losing battle. I’d already been sleeping like crap. And keeping this secret from Tori was going to mean no sleep again tonight. I was tired. I really wanted a proper night’s rest. I yanked my sheet up over my head and pressed my phone to my ear while it rang.
“Mae? What’s wrong? I’m getting dressed. I’m on my way.”
“Shit. No. Sorry. Get back into bed. Just listen to me. There’s nothing wrong, I just… I did something. And I feel really guilty for not telling you about it.”
Tori’s mattress squeaked as she got up, and Will asked a quiet question in the background. She explained it was just me, and then came the quiet click of her door closing.
“Okay. I’m in the living room. It’s been a while since I had a midnight call from you, so this better be good.”
I made a face in the darkness. I had a feeling she wouldn’t think this was good at all. “I went to the jail today.”
“You what? Mae! You’re so stubborn! I told you at the funeral, you have to let this go.”
Oh boy. If she was already upset with me, she wasn’t going to like what was coming.
“You know I can’t. So I went there, and the guard was so hot but such a douche, and he took forever, so I started reading the bulletin board full of prison jobs available—”
“Stop, you’re rambling things I can’t take in at this hour. Get to the point. What did Heath say?”
“He wouldn’t see me.”
Tori breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Sorry, babe. I know that must have been frustrating for you, but I can’t say that I’m upset. I hate the idea of you being in that place at all. Obviously, Heath does, too. He doesn’t want to talk to you. You have to let this go.”
“I can’t. It’s eating me alive. I just keep replaying it over and over. I just keep coming back to the same thought. That he didn’t do it. And if that’s true, then the real killer is still out there, and the police aren’t even doing anything about it. I need him to look me in the eye and tell me it was him.”
Tori gave a long-suffering sigh. She was used to me getting fixated on things to the point of obsession. She was good at being my voice of reason, just like I was for her. “He’s not going to give you that, though. You’ll get more answers at the trial. You just have to be patient. Have you spoken to that therapist who I gave you the number for? He’ll help.”
“A therapist can’t give me the answers I need. And Heath’s case can’t go to trial. By that point it will be too late. We both know that a jury is going to find him guilty.”
“Because he is guilty! Honestly, Mae. For a smart woman, you’re not acting like one.”
I couldn’t even be upset by the accusation. Because I knew she was right. I would have been saying the exact same thing to her if the shoe had been on the other foot. But my mind kept going back to that night Heath and I had spent together. I kept thinking back to the way he’d protected me, insisting on walking me all the way home, right to my door. I kept remembering the way his lips had felt on my neck, and the sense of rightness as I’d fallen asleep against his chest. I was a smart, well-educated woman. I was a good judge of character. And I was willing to back my gut instinct right to the very end, even if nobody else was.
“I know it looks like I’m romanticizing all of this, the guard even called me a prison groupie today—”
“He’s right! You’re totally being an inmate groupie right now. What proof do you have he didn’t do it? Proof, babe. PROOF.”
“I don’t have any,” I admitted. “But I feel—”
“You feel with your vagina.”
I frowned at that. “That was below the belt. Literally and figuratively.”
Tori made a sad sound. “You’re right. I’m sorry. But you’re acting crazy. Next you’ll be saying you’re going to apply for the job at the prison.”
The silence between us drew out.
“Mae. No.”
There was another silence.
“Mae, seriously. No. You didn’t.�
��
“I applied online tonight.”
Tori blew out a long breath. “You need help.”
“Just think of it as a summer job.”
“Summer jobs are lifeguarding at a pool or serving sundaes at the ice cream parlour! You’re talking about teaching violent criminals their ABCs.”
“Don’t be insulting. It’s high school education, and I’ll be the teacher at the women’s prison, too.”
“Wait. What?”
“I might have done more than just apply. I start on Tuesday.”
There was a cracking noise from her end of the phone line that I couldn’t identify. “What was that?”
“The seal on a bottle of vodka. I’m drinking.”
“It’s nearly midnight.”
“I know.”
“Please get on board with this. It’s safe. I promise.”
Tori’s voice became choked. “I know you don’t believe that. I don’t believe that for a second. What if it’s not safe? I already lost one best friend this month, Mae. I can’t lose you, too.”
I knew where she was coming from. And normally the guilt over how she was feeling would have been enough to stop me. I never wanted to make my best friend worry about me the way she was now. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jayela’s killer was still wandering the streets, while an innocent man, one who meant something to me, one who meant something to my sister, was sitting in a jail cell, waiting for a trial that wouldn’t be fair.
We both knew it wasn’t safe. But it was the only way I was going to get to talk to Heath. So I was going to do it, at least until Heath gave me the explanation I needed.
13
Mae
Nerves fluttered around my belly as I drove into Saint View for my first shift at the prison. As per the list of guidelines I’d been given by the warden who’d interviewed me, I’d dressed conservatively. The floral skirts and hoop earrings I preferred while teaching my seven-year-olds were replaced with serious black pants and no jewelry at all. Apparently even a necklace could be used to choke someone, so that was out. I’d added a button-down shirt and blazer despite the warm evening. I would probably be boiling hot by the time I got there, but it covered me up and appeared professional.
At the prison gates, I showed a security pass to the guard and was allowed to drive through to a second lot marked as staff parking. The prison seemed a little less intimidating with a gorgeous sunset behind it. The pinks and purples washed over the dull gray concrete, softening the sharp edges. I got out of the car and pulled my shoulders back, taking the gorgeous sunset as a sign I was doing the right thing. This was just a teaching job. I’d had many of them, and I had to think of this one in the same way. This was a chance for me to make a difference in somebody’s life. I wholeheartedly believed that education was life-altering. It was a game changer for disadvantaged kids, and that’s who most of these prisoners were once. Maybe it wasn’t too late to make a difference in their lives, too.
This couldn’t just be about Heath. But I did want my answers.
“Now or never, Mae,” I murmured to myself. “You doing this or what?”
I was doing it.
This time, I didn’t have to buzz the intercom to be let inside. My security pass did the job of popping the lock and I pushed my way in, looking for the guard who was supposed to meet me for my first shift.
“You’re fucking kidding me.”
I ground my molars together. Sitting on a bolted-down table was the impossibly gorgeous guard I’d argued with the last time I’d been here.
He shook his head as if he was as disgusted to see me and folded his arms across his chest. “This is some bullshit.”
I tried to rein in my temper. “Well, hello to you, too. Want to tell me what your problem is today?” The words came out sickly sweet, taunting him. I didn’t care if I was being rude. It had been one thing to put up with his attitude when I was just here as a visitor. I certainly wasn’t going to take his shit now he was my colleague.
He stood and crossed the gap between us to stand in front of me. “Boss didn’t tell me the new teacher was a woman.” He swore low under his breath. “Probably because I would have told him I wasn’t doing it.”
“Doing what? As far as I know, I’m the one who’s here to teach. Not you. All you need to do is show me where my classroom is. Then you can screw off to whichever bridge you crawled out from underneath.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Of course you think it’s that simple. Because you’re so green you’re practically Kermit.”
I might have laughed if I hadn’t also been contemplating punching him. “Well then, I guess that makes you Miss Piggy. Can we go?”
He shook his head, eyes rolling toward the ceiling. But he motioned toward the security door. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
After giving me a locker where I could put my things, he punched a code into the security panel by the door that would allow us entry into the belly of the prison. I grabbed the door before he could, opening it for myself. I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. I was going to have to work with this man. We’d gotten off on the wrong foot for sure, but I didn’t want this to be the way we went on. This workplace would be hostile enough as it was. I didn’t need my colleagues adding to it.
Though it went against every instinct in my body, I was willing to try to be the bigger person. “I’m Mae, by the way.”
He didn’t bother glancing in my direction. “I know. I’ve seen your driver’s license, remember?” The corner of his mouth flickered up. “Nice photo, by the way.”
Oh. This guy. Screw being the bigger person. My driver’s license picture looked like I’d spent the night before partying on a pirate ship with a parrot sitting in my hair. I had no idea how I had managed to take such a bad photo. I totally blamed the guys at the DMV for not telling me my sunglasses had snagged and completely ruined my ponytail. “And yours is perfect, I guess? Hand it over, then.”
“Not a chance. But I will say that at least I know what a comb is.”
Fine. Two could play at that game. I reached over and grabbed the little plastic ID tag hanging from his shirt pocket. It clipped off easily, and I stepped away from him so he couldn’t snatch it back. “Rowe Pritchard.” I glanced over at him, expecting him to be annoyed that I’d taken his ID, but he simply strolled along the corridor like nothing bothered him. And when I gazed down at his photo, I realized why. “Is this one of your modeling photos? Because this is not normal. Nobody looks this good in a passport photo.”
He smirked and took the ID back from me, snapping it back onto his shirt. “I do.”
I couldn’t have rolled my eyes harder if I tried. “Well, at least I know your name now. Rowe.”
“Pritchard to you.”
Oooh. A twitch I could exploit. It was my turn to smirk. “No. I think I’ll stick with Rowe.” I started humming “Row, Row, Row your Boat” beneath my breath.
It was small, but the flash of annoyance that crossed his features gave me a sick sense of satisfaction. Annoying Rowe might just be my new favorite thing to do.
We reached the end of the corridor and turned left, stopping in front of a painted wooden door that had a space for a room name but was currently blank. I frowned. I’d change that. I’d label the room properly, and make it my own, just like I did in my elementary school. The learning environment was just as important as books and pencils were. And that started here, with the door, and with the men knowing from the minute they saw it, this was a place of learning. I took a deep breath and reached for the handle, ready to get on with the job.
Rowe’s fingers circled my wrist, stopping me. His dark-brown gaze bored into mine. “Listen to me. Don’t think I don’t know why you’re here. And don’t think I won’t be watching your every move. You don’t look at the prisoners. You don’t talk to the prisoners. You don’t touch the prisoners. I don’t care if lover boy is sitting on the other side of the door, waiting for you to run into his arms.
You make one wrong move and you’re out of here.” He paused, but his gaze didn’t shift from mine. “It’s only a matter of time. You don’t belong here, Mae.”
My brain told me to pull my hand from his grasp. But there was something deep inside me that oddly liked the touch of his fingers over my pulse point. And maybe it was my imagination, but for a tiny second, I thought I felt his thumb smooth over the soft skin of my wrist. So I didn’t move an inch.
But I also wasn’t going to let him get away with speaking to me like that.
I wasn’t his student. I wasn’t his underling. I wasn’t his anything. “What do you mean I don’t belong here? I was hired to do a job, Rowe.” I said his name like it tasted bad. “So get out of my way.”
His fingers tightened around my wrist. “Of course you don’t belong here,” he hissed. “I don’t know how you wormed your way in. You aren’t even qualified.”
“I have a teaching degree. I’m qualified.”
“You’re an elementary school teacher. So sure, if you’re planning on teaching these guys how to count on their fingers, you’re qualified.”
“I can do a little more than that. Thank you for your vote of confidence, though.” I wasn’t about to tell him that the warden himself had admitted they were so desperate for a teacher they were willing to take anyone with any sort of education qualifications. “I’m here to help these men. So how about you let go of me and let me do my job?”
We stared each other down, neither of us willing to give the other an inch.
“She said let go of her.”
Rowe and I both spun at a voice to our left.
My heart plummeted through the floor. “Heath.”
But Heath’s attention was firmly fixed on Rowe. He didn’t even turn my way. Something flashed hot in his ice-blue gaze, and I desperately wished for it to land on me.
Rowe dropped my wrist and faced off with Heath. “Did you say something, prisoner?” His tone was so low and commanding that even I took a step backward.
