by D. K Lake
I wandered into Lane's cell, knowing he wouldn't mind me sleeping in his bed, but then I saw Jasper's comic books and small superhero figures standing around and I suddenly felt weird about it. I didn't like the idea of sleeping in Lane's cell either, even Jasper's hoodie which was hung over the back of the chair was making me feel uneasy. It was too soon, it brought back bad memories of Jasper from last night that I desperately wanted to forget. I quickly left the cell block and ended up running down the stairs, I raced through the corridors, skidding around corners, trying not to run into anyone. I felt as though I couldn't breathe, suffocated by last night's memory which suddenly came flooding back to me. I burst through the main entrance and kept going.
Chapter 3
Halfway to the gate, my legs started to slow down and I came to a stop and bent over, hands on my knees, sucking in air. I soon collapsed to the ground, trying to catch my breath. The sun seemed to help, soothing me with its rays. Five minutes later, after several long breaths, and after I had squeezed last night's images from my mind, I stood up and looked around, hoping no one had seen me having a... a panic attack? I'd never had one before.
The day was getting warmer and the sun was high in the sky, almost noon. I walked around the grounds, consumed by my thoughts. I thought about my mom, a lot actually, then I wondered what would happen after I died, where would I go, would it be painless, would I just fall asleep into nothingness? If by no will of my own I ended up a zombie, would I still have these random thoughts? What if I did? What if they (the zombies) were still people inside there, fighting to get out, trapped inside themselves, but instead all anyone saw was a zombie? Ryan was sitting in the army Jeep near the entrance, the Jeep no longer worked but they still used it to sit in to keep watch, in case a horde of zombies showed up, or I dunno, a bunch of crazy people. He looked up from his magazine and gave me a wave, I returned it and carried on walking along the chain-link fence, watching the birds on the other side. I ended up sitting on a pile of stacked crates, next to a load of tires and a makeshift barbecue. I laid down on the crate watching the clouds above drift by, wishing I could drift away with them, like one of the birds. Then I wondered what it was like to be a bird. Then I wondered why I was having these bizarre thoughts of birds and other random shit. I closed my eyes and felt the warm sun, and inhaled deeply, thinking how I wanted to remember this moment, peaceful, warm, clear skies. I knew I wouldn't get many more moments like this.
I hadn't meant to fall asleep, but a mixture of the lovely warm sun and my tired eyes claimed me and took me to another place in my head, a place where my mom and dad were still alive and I was still the same girl, attending high school like any other day.
“Alex!”
“Wh..What?” I mumbled, half asleep, half opening one eye, trying to move my stiff neck.
I had fallen asleep on a hard, wooden surface and now my neck was paying for it, like when you sleep on your pillow wrong or sleep without one and wake up with neck-freeze as I like to call it.
Owww!
“Ugh.. what time is it?” I asked, noticing the sky was starting to turn.
“Nearly dinner time.” Drew replied, holding up a dead bird.
“What is that?” I asked, swinging my legs over the side of the crate.
“Wild turkey, you hungry?”
“Where'd you get it?” I asked, noticing he had his crossbow on his back.
“Over that way,” He pointed behind me to the hills. “That stuff you people eat is shit.” he added.
“Pre-packed crap.” Evan said, coming up behind Drew and taking the turkey from him.
I looked to my left and saw a small fire set up, Lena and Dan were sitting around it with two others, chatting and laughing.
“So you joining us tonight?” Drew asked.
“No, I think I'll give it a miss.”
“You sure?”
I nodded and he walked back to the group with Evan. I went back inside the prison and into the cafeteria, everyone was already in there sitting down at the tables, eating, talking, cleaning up cutlery, and having a laugh, the stereo was on in the background playing what sounded like Rihanna.
“There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you.”
I spun around and found Lane looking down at me, he looked relieved to have found me.
“I fell asleep on the crates out back.”
“You've been sleeping outside? What's wrong with your bed?”
“Nothing, I just sort of passed out from exhaustion, that and I don't trust Stacey anywhere near me.”
“I wouldn't worry too much, Josh has already given her a telling off for trying to shoot you. He made her clean the toilets and sweep all the corridors, and now she's on kitchen duty.”
I silently laughed on the inside, she loathed anything that looked like a cleaning product. I didn't think she had cleaned a toilet in her entire life, from what she had told me, she came from a rich family and she was an only child (spoiled brat more like), they had their own cleaners and gardeners and she even had a nanny.
I looked over at the serving hatch and spotted her. She had her hair pinned up and an apron on, handing out bowls of food, it was only the pre-packed, tasteless stuff but it was easier to consume when it arrived on the table in a bowl. Harriet, an older, very bossy lady, was telling her what to do. I felt sorry for her for a split second before I remembered she tried to shoot me. I can imagine she spent the day sulking... thinking up ways to kill me... hopefully not, though.
“So what's the plan then?” I asked, turning back to Lane.
“We're leaving first thing tomorrow, I suggest you get your stuff together tonight.”
I nodded, thinking of a list of things I would need. It had been so long since I had been living outside I had forgotten what I needed. Blanket. Water bottle. Flashlight.
“Alex?”
“Huh?”
“You okay? You're just staring at the wall.”
“No, yeah, sorry... I'm fine.”
“I think you should sleep in my cell tonight.”
“Um... I dunno, Jasper's things are everywhere, I don't want to be reminded of... that, him... sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”
“I know, it upset me too when I went in there earlier. So I already put his stuff in a box and left it in the games room for people to help themselves.”
“Lane!” Luke called, weaving his way around the tables. “You got a minute?”
“Sure.” Lane squeezed my hand and walked off with Luke.
I stood on the spot watching everyone. Tammy was at the back helping to feed Ozma and another small child. I turned to leave and found Stacey blocking my path.
Damn, she was quick, a second ago she was in the kitchen.
“What do you want?” I said, annoyed. “You wanna try and shoot me again? Or maybe you could try and stick a fork in my brain.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“I know and I already forgave you. But why are you lurking behind me with those sad eyes like you're at the vets about to get your dog put down?”
“They're all going to get killed if they go with you, and they're never going to come back.”
I sighed. “Stacey, Josh and Luke are grown ups, they make their own decisions. I'm not forcing anyone to go, and if I had my way I would end it here. But apparently seeing as I'm infected I now have no say in the matter, so I'm just going along for the ride. I know as well as you do there is no cure, but Lane has other ideas and he's managed to brainwash Josh into his way of thinking. Speak of the devil.” I muttered, noticing Josh heading my way with a stern look on his face.
It looked like he had finally come to his senses.
“So where are we doing this? In the courtyard? Out front?”
“Colorado.”
“What?”
“We're still going to Colorado.”
“Um... I think it would be easier to just shoot me here... not in Colorado.”
“No, we're traveling to Colorado to find a
cure, Alex. I only came over here to get you to eat something.” he said, holding a bowl out to me. “You need your strength for the journey.”
His lips curved up into a smile, but they soon dipped when he saw Stacey. He nodded his head at her to leave and she scurried off.
“Don't worry, I don't think there's much she can do to me in here, not unless she wants to beat me with a tray.”
“I warned her to stay away from you. What did the little traitor want?”
“She's worried you guys aren't going to come back, and of course, it will be my fault if you don't come back, you know, if you get killed. She is Luke's biggest fan after all.”
“She's too young, it's why he won't touch her. Maybe in a few years but not right now.”
“Well, I know that, but she thinks she's sixteen going on twenty-four.”
“Just stay away from her until we leave, I need to get some sleep tonight, but I won't be able to if I think Stacey's going all assassin on your ass.”
“I'm sleeping in Lane's bed... with Lane, so I think I'm safe.”
I held onto the bowl and moved the food around with the spoon.
“You know there's no cure.” I said, looking up at him again.
“We don't know that for sure.”
“Did you bump your head while I was gone? You're normally one of the sensible ones around here.”
“It's already decided, Alex.”
“Josh, no! Be reasonable.” I said, shoving the bowl back into his hands.
“I am. You're going to Colorado, and we're going to find Lane's brother and he's going to help you.”
“Josh, are you even listening to yourself and how deluded you sound?”
“Alex, I've never had a reason to do anything, I didn't even have a reason for joining the Army, I only joined because I didn't know what else to do with myself. But this, I have a reason, you are that reason, and I know this is something I have to do. I don't know what's going to happen along the way, or where we're going to end up, or hell, how many of us will even make it. But I want to try, and you can't stop me from coming.”
“These people need you here.”
“There are others to take care of them, Danny and Ryan are good fighters, and there are many more here skilled to fight off zombies if they need to. And Lane has been telling me that he heard Colorado is thriving.”
“Yes from a pair of dead junkies.” I muttered.
“Well, I plan on finding out, if there's something better in Colorado then we need to know, these people could have a better life there.”
“When you put it like that I can justify why you want to come.”
“It's not the main reason, though.” he said, pushing the bowl back into my hands. “Eat it. Don't make me spoon feed you.”
I laughed. “Who knows, in a week you may have to as I might not have the strength.”
“You're not that weak.”
“Yes, but the virus affects everyone differently.”
“You're strong, Alex, stronger than me.”
“That's not true.”
“It is, you're a fighter, nothing breaks you. I mean, look at you now, you're infected and you've still got an attitude on you, most people would be in the corner crying their eyes out or silently sulking.”
“I'm not the sulking kind.”
“I know.”
“Why are you doing this? You hardly know me.”
“How can you say that? We've spent lots of time together, you only feel that way because you don't let yourself get close to anyone, you push everyone away. You may be ready to give up, but we're not. People care about you, you may not have let them get close to you but it doesn't mean they don't care about you.”
“And you're one of those people?”
He didn't answer, he didn't need to.
“When you've finished with that make sure it gets washed up and no one else shares your spoon.”
“Obviously, douche.” I replied, pushing past him and sitting down at a table. He laughed and leaned over me, and kissed the top of my head, surprising me.
I kept to myself and finished my bowl of food, but I didn't feel hungry whatsoever, but Josh was right, I needed my strength. Not eating would result in me becoming weaker more quickly. No one came over and spoke to me, a few people smiled at me, and a few people gave me an odd look before looking back at Tammy with Ozma, wondering why I wasn't feeding her myself. After I had finished my food, I headed into the kitchen, Stacey was nowhere to be seen. A woman called, Mandy, was already in the kitchen washing up, she smiled at me and tilted her head to the sink. I placed my bowl and spoon in the water and left her getting on with the job. I went back to my cell to grab a few things, I grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms I wanted to change into. Stacey wasn't in there thankfully. While I had the cell to myself I decided to sort out my bag for the trip. Enough spare clothes, clean underwear, socks. I made a trip to medical and picked up some First Aid supplies. Then I helped myself to some food packets and water bottles. Rationing food wasn't really a problem at the prison, with each drop we always ended up with more food than we needed. After I was done with my bag I dumped it in Lane's cell and noticed his own bag was already half-full with clothes and a few protein bars. I rolled my eyes, he was going to need more than a few protein bars. I packed his bag for him and waited in the cell for another half hour wondering where he was.
By 9 pm, I went looking for him, and decided to check the gym as I had checked everywhere else. I couldn't even find Josh or Luke anywhere. But as I got closer to the gym I heard laughing and joking and what sounded like a group of people. I peeked around the corner and saw Josh and Ryan messing around with the punching bag and Lena, Dan, and Drew were standing close by sharing a joke. Evan was at the back on his own doing bench-presses. But no Lane. Lena spotted me and waved me over.
“Hey, you ready for tomorrow?” she asked.
“Um.. yeah, I'm all packed, but I was looking for Lane. I can't find him anywhere.”
Josh stopped punching the bag at the sound of my voice. “He's outside with Danny and Luke, I offered to help but he didn't really want my help.” Josh said.
“Help with what?”
“Fixing the van, it has eight seats and there's eight of us going.” Josh replied.
“Wow, that many, I hadn't really counted how many.”
Eight was a good number, lots of eyes and ears, and arm power to fight off a group of zombies, maybe this trip would be an easy ride.
“Okay, thanks,” I said, leaving the gym.
Josh followed me out of the gym and started walking beside me. If I was really honest, he looked a hot mess (and I didn't mean that in a bad way). His hair was disheveled and little spots of sweat glistened on his forehead.
“Alex,”
“Yes?” I slowed down.
“How are you feeling?”
“Um, a little achy I guess. Nothing major happening yet.”
He nodded, giving me this sad, puppy dog expression, then his hand reached for my face.
“Stop.”
“What?” he said, his hand still hovering in the air.
“Doing that, giving me that look, I don't need you getting all mushy on me.”
He dropped his hand and slid it into his pocket.
“I should have come with you.” he murmured.
“No, you shouldn't have. The same thing could have happened and it might have been you that got bitten instead of me.”
“You know how I'm going to respond to that.”
“I'd rather you didn't.”
“I'd take a lot more for you, Alex.”
“Josh, please.” I walked along the corridor but he soon caught up.
“Did you really shoot someone that was infected?”
“What?” I said, coming to a halt.
“Lane said you killed some guy you were traveling with because he was infected.”
“Yeah, so?”
I had never told Josh about Thom and Crystal, I had never to
ld anyone, only Lane knew what really went on that day.
“Nothing, I just wanted to ask you about it, Lane was all weird about it, like he slipped up when he said it.”
“Because the guy hadn't been bitten directly, but he was cradling his infected girlfriend. Her blood was all over him... I don't take chances, he wasn't family and we hardly knew them so it was an easy call. But having said all that don't you think it would be best to shoot me?”
“I'm not shooting you.” he said, slightly horrified at the idea.
I tried to reach for my gun that was tucked into the back of his belt, but he grabbed my wrist before I got anywhere near it, then he grabbed my other arm and pulled me closer until we were facing each other.
“I just want my gun back, Josh. It is mine after all, and if we're going out on the road I want my gun.”
“So you can shoot yourself?” he said, letting go. “You can have it back when I say so.”
“Josh!” Stew called from down the corridor.
“You need to get some rest, we have a long trip ahead of us.”
He kissed the top of my head before I got the chance to swat him away, and was already halfway down the corridor.
“You've gotta stop doing that.” I called.
“Make me.” he replied, grinning at me over his shoulder.
I found Lane outside, around the side of the prison, hidden among the vehicles. Danny was holding an overhead light for him while he worked under the hood, and Luke was holding a handful of tools, watching with interest.
