by Zola Tau
The eldest prince leaned onto the wall as he sat and watched the dancing flicker of light. "His obsession for her is overwhelming." He teased.
"I think the word you're searching for is love, and it's beautiful." Ji-hye replied defending the crown prince. The eldest prince looked to her and snickered, and for a few moments after the words were exchanged it was silent.
"Well, I'll get going soon." Ji-hye lied breaking the silence with a yawn that followed. The eldest prince looked to her as she leaned onto the wall beside him and smiled. "Very well, but it's growing dark outside are you sure you have to go?" He asked playing along with her game.
The tiresome environment didn't allow for an answer to be received from Ji-hye because her yawn allowed for entrance into a land of rest. Her eyes closed as she seemed to have fallen asleep, leaning on the wall. The eldest prince smiled and reaching over he directed the sleeping female's head onto his shoulder as a base.
"She fell asleep on purpose. "He said to himself in silence. He soon also, fell asleep after growing tiresome from watching the light flicker on and about till that too, soon went out.
In the dark of the morning, Ada closed and opened her eyes awake. Surprised to come face to face with her fiancé, she softly backed away; she was unaware of what happened or how she got there, as it seemed her fate always allowed her to be.
Her stomach to growl a bit, as she pushed herself in position to sit up, she looked over to the wall to see the eldest prince and Ji-Hye sound asleep.
Slowly she made effort to stand up but she was held down by the waist from the crown prince's unpredictable grip.
"What do you think you're doing?" He whispered as his eyes opened. Before princess Ada could answer he continued to speak "I felt movement so I assumed the best." he replied referring to why he was awake.
Ada laid back down and analyzed the sleepy crown prince "I'm sorry." she whispered as she caressed his lips. Her voice quivered in rhythm when she spoke to him like a child sharing air with to her idol, overwhelmed by the happiness in the presence of whoever it was they were admiring.
"I know you did it out of precaution, but you should really eat more, our child will be fine, was it not you that told me so? Your over cautiousness of what to eat will only contribute to the decline in health for you both, so when you're hungry let me know, let Nari know, let those two know." He ended pointing to the eldest prince and Ji-hye.
"Okay?" He asked once more. Princess Ada nodded her head as she curled herself into an embrace with the crown prince. He kissed her forehead and held her close. He was going to open his mouth to say something further but he stopped himself because of the sound of whispering that could be heard coming from the hall.
"I need to see Ayo!" a familiar voice cried.
"Princess Ki, you can't go in there, you are on thin ice as a suspect, to the reason for both he and princess Ada's injuries. The princess is on her deathbed how do you think you can come to terms with that when the crown prince finds out that it was you that spread the poison on the fruit." The familiar voice said.
" No, no, no you don't, don't you dare act as if this was all my doing, you poisoned it and told me if I did what I was told you would allow for my brother's reign you can't throw me into a fire you have gathered wood for, you are equally as guilty." The voice assumed to belong to princess Ki's replied.
"You've grown soft; the visiting knight isn't worth what I am helping you with. Are you really going to give that up?" The man asked, there was a prolonged silence then the calling of footsteps leaving could be heard, then all was quiet again.
The crown prince wrinkling his brows was ready to charge to the door, but this time in turn it was princess Ada who held him down. "How do you expect to find out any information if you go and interrupt them, of you go and do so do you not think they will lash out anger on you being made aware that you know information that you shouldn't?" The way princess Ada spoke familiar words. As the crown prince thought he became aware of the reasoning for the similarity in the narrative that princess Ada just spoke.
It was similar to the warning that he gave her around the time after they first met, out by the rose garden when he was hiding behind the wall listening to two people speak and princess Ada naively planned to go confront them. It was the crown prince that pulled her back in other to make aware that what she was doing would only make trouble. As he recited the day in silence he became aware as to why the male voice he heard sounded so familiar it was the voice of the man that was in that garden that day.
It seemed that princess Ada had been thinking the same thing because her eyes grew large, as if she realized something. "Well, if the female voice we heard that day belongs to princess Ki it must mean that if we are able to find out who she was with that day we can figure out everything else." Ada replied with a yawn of hunger. Amused the crown prince nodded his head " Yes, yes, dearest problem resolver of mine, but I think it's time you get something to eat." He finished rubbing her shoulder.
He reached into the basket and got fruits and somewhat warm soup, after sitting up Ada, accepted the food with open arms. "Finally." she replied as she downed the food. The crown prince shook his head and laid back down as Ada sat up eating.
"Do you think the baby is going to like me much?" She asked randomly as she rubbed her hand over her growing belly. The crown prince sat back up and replied with a "no".
After watching Ada's face look confused at the reply, she expected him to reply with his witty romantic responses but instead he responded "he's going to hate you for starving him, and I have to say I can't blame him if he did for that very reason alone."
The grapes that were once directed towards her mouth never entered, because she threw them at the crown prince, being offended by what he said as he laughed.
"There you go wasting perfecting good food." he replied as he blocked himself from her throws. After things died down the crown prince looked to her once more and said in seriousness " He could never hate you, but I do wish from now on that you took care of yourself and ate as you should, you gave me quite a scare today." he responded.
"I know" Ada responded distractedly. She heard a groan of pain and looked over towards Ji-Hye and the eldest prince. She saw the outline of what seemed like another body lying down. She thought back to what she heard Princess Ki say when she mentioned Ayo.
"Love, what did Princess Ki mean by Ayo, being hurt?" she asked as her eyes tried to make out who was laying down from afar. With a sigh the crown prince looked about and saw that it wouldn't be long till the light for the new day would come so he responded.
"Just rest, for a bit till the sun comes again and we can speak on the matter, let's solve things one at a time, let's rest." the crown prince replied. With a yawn as she set aside the empty bowl of food, Ada reluctantly gave in to her greedy body that was asking her for more rest.
When the morning came, the crown prince was surprised to see that Ada was not beside him, he looked about the room as he stretched.
He eventually made quick eye contact with princess Ada as she smiled from across the room; she sat next to Ayo wrapping his hand in freshly hot warm cloth. "At least he's well." She said to herself.
"Honestly it would be considered a lie if I didn't say he was like a brother to me, especially when my father was not about. As obsessed and greedy for power that he at times display to be, it's no more than an act, it's from him I learned my love of people and my stubbornness." She ranted.
"But as for princess Ki; your sister, is slowly getting on my nerves I have to say." Ada mumbled to herself.
Reading her lips the crown prince chuckled, and stood up walking over to sit besides Princess Ada.
"You didn't cry did you?" He asked her. Princess Ada shook her head as a no, in honesty, then looked up towards the crown prince as he responded: "Good, because I didn't want you to cry and stress yourself out, he's to be fine." He recited as he kneeled besides her.
"I have such a caring lover." she beamed
as her smile softly hid her eyes. The crown prince stood back up after wrinkling his nose, "So you just use me for my love I see." he said as he ran his hands on top of her hair.
Princess Ada chuckled and shook her head in amusement. "I can't yet call you husband but you're no less to me." she corrected.
"There we go." The crown prince said with a smile, approving of her revised words. He walked over to the eldest prince and Ji-hye and asked in the faces: "So are you two courting?" Waking them, Ji-hye lifted her head and looked besides her to see that she had fallen asleep on the eldest prince's shoulder.
"I'm sorry." she apologized awkwardly lifting herself up.
The eldest prince turned to the crown prince with a glare in his eyes implying his anger towards the fact that the crown prince ruined the moment that he was trying to achieve, to be the smiling face Ji-hye saw in the morning.
He quickly stood up to grab a hold of his younger brother that backed away quickly.
"Men never grow up do they?" Ji-hye asked as she stood up, yawning and walked to Ada giving her a hug. "No, they don't." Ada responded as they both giggled.
"Now, as for you why are you trying to give everyone heartache by not eating as you should, you know—" Ji-hye started to rant. Princess Ada looked to her and laughed.
"What?" Ji-hye asked.
"I'm just trying to figure out when it was you became so expressive of your feelings, or if being shy was just an act." Princess Ada scoffed. The two laughed softly among themselves as the men just watched.
After a while of speaking, it was decided that everyone was to go bathe and change and come back and return to watch after Ayo, and so they left.
From afar on their way out the king and his advisor could be seen by the gates waiting for them, when the gates were reached by the four, they were greeted by the king and received a bow from the advisor respectfully. "I thought I could manage to run into you all here." The king said, after they shared their bows.
The eldest prince spoke for everyone "Father what you are doing here?" He asked concerned.
The king turned to princess Ada and looked at her as a father could their very own " First thing's first are you well my dear?" The king asked as he patted Ada's shoulder "I heard news of you not being well I'm sorry only now I was free to take come to wish you well but seems that you already are." .
With a smile on her face Ada nodded, "Well, that good to see." he added.
"Well, very well, I wanted to just do that, as for other news I wish to have an early wedding, I'm growing old and you two aren't getting any younger. You're one of few nobles marrying for love so I wish to be an asset to that so I wish for you to come in when you can. I would request that you did so soon, so that we may see as to how we are to address it all, because I see that you are on your way out, I won't hold you any longer but please do come by." The king turned to his advisor and directed him to open the gates, and so he did as he was instructed and the king disappeared towards the palace. The king chuckled and patted the advisor on the back when he arrived beside him.
After bathing and getting ready, before they returned, the crown prince made sure Ada ate. On the way back to the palace Nari could be seen from afar racing towards Ada. She opened her mouth in order to start ranting, but she didn't have enough time because Areum already came forth to do the same.
They both had a basket of food in their hands ready to give. "I already ate." Ada replied laughing "Well, eat mine in a little, and then eat hers." Nari said indirectly to Areum.
The eldest princess walked beside Ada and tapped her on the shoulder making aware of the food she too held in her hand. "And this after you eat theirs." she softly replied as she looked away.
Areum smiled at her sister nodding her head in approval. The eldest sister looked at her little sister and said " Yah, Areumah..Who are you nodding at? Am I your friend or your elder?"
"You're right; I sometimes forget you're a grandmother at heart for that I apologize." She dramatically said bowing deeply towards the eldest sister in effort of carrying on her joke, since elders received deeper bows as a gesture of respect.
The eldest sister placed out her hand ready to hit Areum jokingly, eventually she just shook her head. In the midst of it all they all just chuckled. The men as always just watched amused as they always did.
The Princes looked about as they walked and spoke on the matter was brought up about the information they became aware of yesterday, how the poison found on Ayo, was similar to the one used on the foreign king.
Ada sighed "It's a bit disappointing that I haven't been able to find the murderer of my father, yet life has been well to me, I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty " she later on chuckled. " But in anything I have come to realize, it is better for me now that I don't feel guilty."
"And, why should you feel guilty?" The eldest princess said after being quiet for some time. Surprised that the eldest princess even responded Ada looked to her.
The eldest princess continued. "The living shouldn't feel guilty for living, just because someone they once loved died, if you worry about the dead's comfort while you're living, when it's your turn to share their fate you have nothing to tell them of how you lived your life. Especially when you meet up with those that passed on in the afterlife: aside from simply saying you used up all your time worrying about them."
Everyone nodded in agreement to the eldest princess 's wise words, before she continued. "That's why I worry for Princess Ki." She added.
"She did it to herself; she denies being told otherwise, you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped." Areum added. "We've all experienced a fate with death, or separation. I was close to the 5th prince that was send away to war and never returned. The king has many children and in time when it was right they all went off to do as they should in the name of our king, whether war, or marriage, some of us don't ever get to visit our mothers." She finished.
"Areum, though you are right in a sense you have to understand not everyone is so easy to return to who they were after a harsh experience, as you are. Princess Ki didn't grow up in the best conditions as we were, to her the illusions of her twin brother are alive and bright as day, her mother's negligence allowed her to grow in the comfort her brother's illusion, because it was her only aid. When we held that meeting in the hall that one evening, did we stop her though we knew she was speaking of over throwing the king?" The eldest princess asked.
"You didn't, I tried, and got slapped for it...remember?" Areum responded.
" Areum, point being, we didn't do as we should, especially throughout her life here to help her, we aided her in pity playing along with her imagination, allowing for it to become her reality. She easily found comfort in those that shared her reality so when we started to say that Gyeong wasn't real, just as her mother did, she distanced herself from us.
"You know the love for males any kingdom has, the want to produce an heir, her obsession was much like her mother's want for a son. How would you feel if your mother told you she'd rather you die, rather than your brother? Your understanding of the world would shatter as hers did. "The eldest Sister went on.
Areum just ignored her eldest sister and walked on " That gives no reason as to why she would poison the crops." she said after mumbling on about all of Princess Ki's crimes, but suddenly turning to her eldest sister she said; " You say she finds comfort in those that shared her reality with her, so would it be that whomever is helping her knows of her disadvantage?" She asked.
Nari tuned into the conversation as her face lit up in realization "But that would mean it's someone close to us."
They finally reached the gates of the palace, as they spoke among one another. The guards moved aside and allowed them entrance. Once they were inside the siblings bickered amongst themselves and Ada rushed inside to check on Ayo.
When she rushed in, she heard wailing of some sort coming from inside. She peaked through the door entrance to see Princess Ki sitting beside Ayo's body.
" I'm unaware of how much you can hear, or how aware you are of who is around you, but I'm giving you my apology, as much as it sounds as if I am lying and as much as I'm sure you can't come to understand what I mean, you have to know I never intended for you being hurt. "
The halls became silent as Ada held her ear to the door. Ki continued after several moments of stalling as she continued to rant.
"I've been cursed, from the day I was born. As much as it seems that I am hopeless, I'm aware of the flaw in my vision, the allusions of my brother a curse my eyes haunt me with.
In times when I go against what I see, my spirit lacks sleep in the night. I stay up for days in the corner of my room as a prisoner, so eventually I just started accepting what I to this day see plain as day. For a while it got better, till I went to visit my mother, after placing princess Ada in the dungeon, the punishment I received was far worse than hers. She consistently gets rescued while I never did. Father tolerates me but I am sure he doesn't love me, my mother refused for me to stand by her side being displayed as her child. She claims that I starved my brother in the womb therefore I'm a murder. I slept outside for those two months, whether it was rain or cold wind. My mother nagged me the entire stay with her; my visions have refused to get better. From there on Princess Ki huffed with anxiety before she continued.
[제 18장]
“ The dullest sword
Stabs the most often”
" I'm a sinner that I know, I do not ask for absolution of my sins nor do I ask for pity, but the horror I endure makes me go crazy. I'm an outcast in my own family, I've been taught for so long that what I saw was so tangible. So much so that now even in my awareness I can't help but still see him, even at times forgetting that I am aware. I've allowed his imperishable existence to define my limited being. All for the sake of a promise of being cured, I've allowed myself to be used a ploy in the act established by a man. "
