She was intent on bringing the supplies to the family. She also knew Colton was doing what he needed to, to keep his family safe. That made it impossible for her to be angry with him because he was protecting her. She pulled out some dried fruit, and she discovered a little hardtack, foods that she knew would not perish easily. Suddenly she slammed her hand on the woodblock's well used working surface and broke down. Sliding to the floor, she pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed.
Colton’s hands on her upper arms stilled her movements as he oozed strength into her. He slid behind her between the wall and his bride. He pulled her against his hard chest. She stiffened because she didn’t know what else to do and because her grief was great. He wrapped his arms around her body, offering comfort and warmth. Colton leaned down and put his lips near her ear and kissed it before he said, “I’m sorry.” She turned into the man she had said earlier in the day that she would honor and obey.
“I don’t understand why he was so stubborn. Why would he not give his name to help his family?” She let loose her tears into his soft, warm flannel shirt and felt his arms tighten around her.
Colton’s mother arrived in the kitchen after Texanna had calmed down and said very matter of factly in that colorless tone that the young woman had discovered amongst the women, “He’s a man. He has lost his way.”
Texanna looked at her new husband with a puzzled expression on her face and he chuckled. “I think Pia means that men see things differently and fortunately or not, this isn’t going to be the last time that we disagree. See, I worry about my house so the women can worry about other things, like families who need a little help. Pia also feels that something is not right.”
Pia nodded, then went about helping Kaku, who had started to complete dinner. She and Kaku added things so it would be enough for the others she now expected. Her son might say no, but things will change. She knew it. Pia began to cut potatoes to fry and added more vegetables while Kaku began frying up venison. That good woman didn’t touch the things that her new granddaughter had rummaged. Texanna just stood staring at these women cooking as though they were feeding that family Colton had just sent off his land.
“Why are they cooking so much food?” Texanna asked after she had finished absorbing her husband’s comfort.
“Pia, I would like a word with my wife.”
Colton watched his Pia smile. His mother didn’t smile often. Colton walked Texanna into the other room.
“Yes, husband?” she replied a bit tearfully, using the same identifier as he had.
“First, I believe the man will change his mind, for I could see that he cared what happened to his family.”
“Colton, you don’t think that those children and that woman weren't his family do you? I mean, why did they not just tell us his name when he wouldn’t? What was wrong with him? A man who loves his family takes care of them.” Colton could see that this new thought would bring on all sorts of other reckless behaviors, like saving the family from its possible captor. That he needed to nip in the bud immediately.
“That crossed my mind when he was so reluctant to give his name. So I watched very carefully on how he reached for her hand, how she allowed him to hold it, and how his children took a step closer to him rather than away from him. These are all signs that they were secure with him.”
“Good thinking. You must be good at your job.”
“Oh good enough I guess,” Colton chuckled. “I don’t usually find myself saving children from their fathers.” He smiled and kissed her lips. “There are plenty of things that I have no idea about. So many of those things I lack, you are well versed. I like it that way. It means the women in this house will need to, at least, have one man around to do the things they believe he’s good for, like mucking out the horse stalls, and chopping the wood.”
“And going hunting, don’t forget.” She smiled back. “Will you teach me?”
Colton grunted. “We will talk about it. But while we wait for our gentleman guest to change his mind and our dinner to be finished, we need to take care of today.” Colton’s words had lost its teasing, and Texanna involuntarily clenched her buttocks, subconsciously rubbing her belly where the tingling was beginning.
“But what if he doesn’t?
“Woman, would you just trust me?”
“I guess. Why are people always telling me that?”
Colton chuckled but ignored the question. “Young lady, what were you doing today, taking off, where you had no idea where you were going? You should have waited for me to show you our property line. And why would you engage with people who could have been dangerous?”
She took a step back as Colton crossed his arms. His piercing gaze waited for a response. Colt’s eyes were blue, not like his mother’s dark eyes, and when they were angry, they were so cold, ice-cold, in fact. They chilled one to the bone. He didn’t appear to be angry, exactly, but she could see he meant to be answered.
“Doing?” Her hand clutched at her belly as it began an ache in two places. One she knew was nervousness and anticipation of things to come and the other was lower and a mystery to her.
“Do I need to repeat myself?”
“Well, Pia said I should find my comfort spot. I don’t know how she knew or if it was a lucky guess, but I found the Trinity. It is like my creek only larger.” She smiled. “And then I walked along it until I came to…”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“Oh. Colton, why are you angry? I just went to see the place, you know, look around. If you’re honestly expecting me to be your wife in everything, then I needed to feel comfortable in the place I now call home. I followed the staked lines. Did you think that you had married a child?” She watched him for a moment and then saw that he was not attempting to disabuse her of that thought, and she felt her dander rising. Fists slammed to her hips. “Is that it? Well, go to hell, Colton McFadden. I’m no child. But you won’t ever know that because I’m leaving. I’m a woman, and if you don’t want a woman, then I’ll go back to town.”
***
She slammed out of the room and before he had time to wrap his head around the fact that she was walking out the door, he heard the front door slam, bringing him out of his stupor. It wasn’t often that Colton had been taken off guard, and it surprised him that his impulsive wife was able to do it so easily.
“Pia, I’m going after Texanna. Wait for the family. I want his name before he enters my house.”
His grandmother said drolly, “He learns slowly. He’s like all men, he does not know what to do with a woman, but he will figure it out. It is good.”
His mother laughed and spoke to her son’s retreating back. “Yes, I think we have helped enough. I see my new daughter is going to give my son a thundering heart often. We will have more laughter and crying now. It is a good sign. She will have strong children for you.”
Colton’s mother, who had spent twenty-six years with his father both in the white world and in her own world, had learned how to live a balanced life even in the white man’s world. Kaku though had only ever lived in her own world until Colton refused to allow them to stay there any longer. Kaku had complained but followed her grandson because he was the only male family member who could care for her. Colt was the only productive grandson alive. Her own son having died in the battles between the white man and the red. Women might own the family lodgings and goods in their tribes, but they trusted their men to take care of them and their family. Colt was a good son. This young one would be a good daughter. They would do well together.
As Colt ignored his womenfolk, now understanding they were trying to push his feelings for her by making him worried about her safety, he wanted to yell at them. He needed no help. He was taking his home back. As he began to leave the house, he discovered the family near the door.
The man reached his hand out to Colton and said, “I apologize for my slowness to appreciate you have a family to protect as well I do. I wasn’t sure if you were actually an ho
norable man. My wife has shown me the error of my thinking as wives often do. My name is Mark Trenton.” Colton shook hands and then invited the family inside. He introduced his mother and grandmother and watched their reactions.
Pia and Kaku welcomed the children and wife with their normal low-level enthusiasm. He was able to meet his Pia’s eyes. She stared at him a moment and then nodded to him. Pia didn’t like the man but did not see any danger. Colton knew his mother’s tells well enough to read her unease but acceptance of safety.
“Feed the family. Give them one of the spare rooms. Children can sleep on a pallet.” They would be happier all together and so would he. He still had a twinge of unease but shrugged it off. It had been a long week. He went in search of his wife.
***
Texanna stumbled out of the front door onto the wraparound porch, but she didn’t know where she was going. It would be autumn soon, so the air was crisp in the evenings and once again, she didn’t have a shawl or a wrap. The sun had gone down almost completely, and the sky was not as brilliant as it might have been on a clearer day, but she enjoyed the wisps of color heralding the sun’s departure nonetheless. She saw the barn that she had not yet explored and hoped there was a lantern in there with wooden matches.
She took off running in that direction and counted on the low light to hide her movements. She had heard that her husband was a brilliant tracker sought by many for his services. He had found her at the creek this morning and she was happy he did but the time before that he had waited for her. She didn’t know what he would do this time, but no matter what he did, she knew she was in for another scolding, at least.
She didn’t dare leave the barn door open for fear of giving herself away or letting any animals that might be wandering on the outside access to the inside. The horses were restless and that made her anxious.
Texanna collapsed into a stack of hay and cried. Not loudly, but she had reached her limit for the day, the week, possibly her whole short adulthood. It had been an extremely hard week already. She had a tendency to speak aloud when she was alone to help put her thoughts in order. She often had no knowledge of doing it; she just went into talking to herself. It often helped her figure out conundrums just like the one she found herself in now, with no real way to get out.
“Why did I say I was going back to town? I don’t have much money and no real way of making more. I can go to Mandy’s but it is his cousin’s house. I don’t want to leave. I’ve ruined everything.” She sniffed and continued to walk the floor and lament her situation. “One stupid wrong decision and look where I am, my whole world has changed. Forever. I wonder if Pa ever loved me. He didn’t want me around. Period. He didn’t care who married me. At least, it is Colton. I could love him, I’m sure of it.” She could come up with all sorts of reasons why her pa was like that, but it didn’t matter now, except it hurt. She allowed herself a little pity.
Colton had pointed it out, and she had to face what she was able to ignore up to that point. He didn’t love her as he loved her brother. The funny thing was, Benjamin had moved so far that it would take at least a week on a coach and train to get to him. He never intended on returning. But she stayed. Not because she didn’t want to go, but because he didn’t allow her to go. She hated that the men she wanted to be with were always protecting her and the one she had been left with for so long, didn’t protect her at all. At least, he didn’t show any protective qualities or loving qualities.
“And I bet Colton is tired of me already. It wasn’t your fault that I got you stuck in this mess. I bet you are ready to send me back. I don’t even know how to be a wife.” She sniffed again.
She didn’t know that much about what being a marshal entailed, but she knew he was respected because she had heard people speak highly of him since he had come permanently to their town. She didn’t know how old he was, if he had any other relatives than the two women in his home, what he expected in a wife other than the normal things or any of the other tidbits of information that a bride would know about her groom under normal circumstances.
What she knew about Colton, she could put in her sewing thimble. What she had heard about him, in the palm of your hand and what she wanted to know would fill the Trinity River that flowed as a natural border to his property. She knew he was honest and expected the same from others. She knew he was intelligent and that he was, at least, half-Indian, which typically would cause a person problems, but Colton seemed to have things under control in this area and all portions of his life.
She knew he was a good provider because this property, this land, was well cared for and his home was well built and large enough for a whole passel of kids, and she envisioned herself being the woman to fill the rooms with his babies. She knew he expected her to be his wife in every way. She knew she didn’t know what that meant exactly, but he would teach her. A tingle of delight raced through her. A tingle she wanted to explore if she stayed. Colton had said she didn’t need to know what it meant she just needed to follow his lead, and she believed that too.
“It wouldn’t be so hard, Colton McFadden, if you didn’t do everything right. Protect me, make me feel safe and comfortable, and cared for.”
He spanked for disobedience. He spanked hard. She knew what that felt like, but she didn’t know if that was his usual discipline. She just knew that was the unpleasant side of Colton. She sobbed again because she certainly knew she was due a scorcher. Oddly, though, even when she thought about it, her tummy seemed to roll, not only in an anticipatory worried kind of way but in an excited kind of way. Her tummy sort of felt like it did when she knew something wonderful was going to happen, but she needed to wait for it.
Texanna knew that obedience had never been her strong suit. In fact, she was quite used to doing whatever it was she wanted to do so long as she had the chores at home taken care of. Her pa had been content to have her not be home at all when he was there except when chores needed doing. Somehow, she instinctively knew that wouldn’t work for her new husband.
“See he doesn’t even care enough to come look for you. I don’t know what you were thinking trying to bring a family into your brand new home and you won’t even be there tonight. Not even one night in the home you had for a few hours” She didn’t know where Colton was, where the family was. All she truly knew was that she was tired, in trouble, and didn’t know how to get out of one and rectify the other. She thought back at her new husband’s actions after her spanking. She enjoyed his arms wrapped around her, and if it meant enduring a spanking so that she could have that again, she would do it. She needed that feeling of protection and security that she didn’t remember ever having since Ben left. It was different, though, with Colton. It was better.
Knowing she needed to tell him all of the things she had just thought about, she dried her tears, got up and shook the straw that had come loose from the bale onto her clothing. She ran her hands down her best dress, her wedding dress, to smooth it. She ran her hands through her hair. Taking several deep breaths that hitched as she blew the air out, she opened the small side door and began to walk out of the barn.
She saw a little movement at the edge of the door and felt confident that her husband was standing there but made no move to acknowledge him until he spoke to her.
“Are you ready to talk now?” His question was somber but kind.
His tone was reassuring and richly intimate causing her body to tingle all over as she walked past his extended hand to instead, take refuge against his body with her arms wrapped around his midsection. She took a deep comforting breath inhaling his essence. She didn’t know what had come over her for she would have never thought to walk into his arms. She would have not even considered drawing comfort from him. Even a day ago, no matter how much she might have dreamed about it, she would not have given over to him so completely although she had wanted to that first day. Today she had been defiant, argumentative, ecstatic, heartbroken and everything in between. Moreover, she needed his strength.
“Yes,” her response trembling with emotion.
“Okay, baby, let’s go back and sit down. Come on.” Colton kissed the top of her head and patted her bottom as he turned her around in the direction she had come from inside the barn.
“How long have you been standing there?”
He shrugged as he placed his hand on the back of her neck and led her to her original spot. “Almost as long as you have been in here talking. I’m an expert tracker and can find you wherever you go. You’re not a quiet rabbit sweetheart, you make plenty of noise, but that is good too because I heard most of what you were saying. Let’s talk about what is bothering you.”
He reclined on top of the bale and put his back against the wall, pulling her into his lap and wrapping strong, muscular arms around her. He kissed her hair and her brow, then her lips as he settled her back against his right arm, head lying on his chest.
“Now, what first?” he asked after she had cuddled in tight and had quit squirming.
Chapter Eight
Colton was rather glad that she had that cute little habit of speaking to herself out loud because it saved him a lot of question-and-answer time. Now it was time for him to take over, and he felt well prepared to do that thanks to her inadvertent disclosures. He knew she was confused, already.
She needed his comfort, but she didn’t know how to get it easily. She had been rejected for so long. It was going to be up to him to teach her the way to get her needs met without running off. He knew it would come with a price paid to her bared bottom, and he hoped it wasn’t too high, for either of them. His little wife needed taming to settle down and enjoy the full life he knew he could give her. And that was his goal.
He led by example but reinforced with his open palm to a bared bottom. He knew she was familiar with discipline, but his was given in love, not distance and anger. He sure hoped she could tell the difference because it was important that she felt that love in everything. Love, did he love her already? He knew he did, in that first discovery kind of way, but also understood it was going to grow into a profound and precious kind of love that only long, slow, nurturing would produce.
Taming Texanna Page 11
