“That’s because we were all about to die, Candi.”
“What?” I stare at him as if he’s suddenly speaking a new language that I can’t understand. “What are you on about?”
“They were about to kill us all. They were gathering together in certain areas of the field where they could safely work together to kill us all at once. Even their own warriors were classified as expendable.”
“I don’t get it. How were they going to kill us all, and are you serious—they were going to kill their own too?”
“A mixture of fey and witch magic, added in with gunpowder, mixed into a cannon ball which they were about to fire on us.
“If you hadn’t sent your magick out the way you did, we would all have been dead. When I told you, you saved us all. I meant it. Literally.”
“They were gathering in groups?” I ask, thinking back to when I saw the weird clusters of The Protectors on my arms and being unable to figure out why it looked so odd. Because they weren’t gathered where the fighting was.
“Even so, I still…”
“Feeling guilty is a good thing. It means you have remorse and a conscience. Sweetheart, if I could have done what you did, so that you wouldn’t have this guilt eating away at you, I would. In a heartbeat.” Leaning closer to me, he kisses me on the forehead. I can’t help my eyes closing at the gentleness of the action.
My heart feels a little lighter, relief easing me slightly over the fact that my actions had saved everyone—well, except for the opposite side. Still, what was it that had made me realize I needed to take that particular and rather devastating course of action?
The strange groups on your tattoos…they were what caught your attention. But was it just my attention that was caught? I’d connected with the Guardians of the Watchtower and Hecate. They were able to see through me. Could…?
“Victor…?”
“What is it, sweetheart?” With the hand that was holding my chin, he strokes the side of my face, before dropping his hand to take mine in his once again.
“I healed Jasmine, and then my vision went strange…”
“Strange how, exactly?” His brow furrows as he stares in puzzlement at me.
“It was weird, as if a shield had slid over my eyes, and everything turned violet and sharp, ever so sharp. My tattoos also showed me exactly where all members of The Protectors were. I remember being puzzled over their strange groupings on the outskirts of the battlefield.
“Do you reckon…do you reckon the Guardians of the Watchtower and Hecate could have been seeing through my eyes?”
“I don’t know. I mean, you did call them to help fight. Could they not have used you as their weapon? Why don’t you ask them?”
I stare at him in surprise. I hadn’t thought of asking them. Even though the decision was mine, and the choice was mine too. If they’d been seeing through my eyes, they might have realized what was happening and allowed me to sense the danger we were in.
Ultimately, the choice was mine, with or without their knowledge of how great the danger. So, does it matter? Would knowing they could sense what was going on around us and that maybe, just maybe, I was allowed to peek into the danger, would it change anything? No. It changes nothing. My actions, after all, are mine. I’ve accepted that fact; now I need to learn to live with them.
“Candi, I’m going to say this to you one more time. And this time I really need you to listen. You saved us all.” He pauses to allow those words to sink in to me. To realize exactly what they mean with the new knowledge of what I did.
I take a deep breath and then give the slightest inclination of my head, letting him know I’m listening.
“And no matter what, we, as in you and I, are in this together. I love you, and I’ve already told you, I will never let you go. I am yours, and you, dammit, are most definitely mine.”
“You are persistent. I’ll give you that.” A chuckle escapes me, surprising me, more for the fact that I didn’t think I’d be able to laugh again, or have the right to do so. Yet the simple sound eases a tightness deep inside me, and I know, eventually, I will be okay.
****
My heart pounding like crazy, I sit up in bed. As the sweat-riddled blankets trap my legs, all I feel is fear, so much fear. For just a moment, my sleep-addled brain screams out a warning as the confusion of the terror I feel slithers down my spine like icy fingers.
It takes me a moment to realize the emotions I’m feeling aren’t mine, and another moment before I understand where they’re coming from. The emotions are from those members of The Protectors in my blood link. This can only mean one thing. Somehow, Candi survived the battle. Somehow, my cousin and those fighting alongside her defeated everyone. But how?
Shucking off the blankets, I scramble from the bed. Letting my hand reach out, I pat the air in search for the bedside lamp, and once my hand connects with it, I switch it on, bringing light into the darkness. A snort of hysterical laughter escapes me at the irony of the situation. The might of The Protectors sweeping across the world devouring all those in its path and one woman literally brings them trembling to their knees.
“She is the ultimate light in the darkness we’ve brought to our people,” I mutter out loud. Glancing around my sister’s spare room, I can’t help wondering, once I leave, will I ever see her again, or will this be my final goodbye? Sadness swamps me, almost drowning me in the emotion. What would my life be like if I hadn’t followed my father on his path to madness? Would I have married, been happy, lived a proper life even if it wasn’t…wasn’t what, filled with death and regrets? What’s the point in wondering, when it doesn’t matter anyway? I made my choice, reveled in the deaths, all except…
Shaking my head at the folly of my thoughts, I gather my clothes and head for the shower. It’s time to face my destiny. Time to return to Paradise Falls where she’ll eventually return too, and when she does… Pausing from collecting my jeans from where I’d dropped them on the floor last night, I realize I honestly don’t know how to finish that train of thought.
Slowly, I gather my things and prepare myself for saying goodbye to my sister, the one person who always knew the real me, even when I didn’t.
Chapter 49
A week has gone by since the battle. Those who’d survived the battle and were injured are recovering. Jasmine has only started to move about, as her wound has caused her a great deal of pain. Kheda hasn’t left her side for the week, except for bathroom breaks, and only then because he couldn’t take her with him.
We’re still at Vlad’s castle, and I’m slowly going crazy. I need space. I need to run. Not run away, just run. I’m beginning to feel cornered, and I don’t like it. Everyone has been watching me. No matter where I turn, I bump into someone, who then gives me this wide-eyed look of…something. I can’t put my finger on it, but it annoys the shit out of me. Mind you, everything is grating on my nerves at this stage.
I need to run. To just breathe in and out without feeling…hurt. Sad. Guilty. And I can’t do that by being watched. My mind has gone into a tailspin of emotions. Anger and sadness over my grandmother’s actions. Heartache from finally knowing why my parents were killed, and by whom, yet fury over the stupid reason that tore my family apart and brought about my grandmother’s actions. And finally, relief that my uncle, the man that set everything in motion with his jealousy, is dead. And gratitude that Victor killed him, because honestly, I don’t think I could have.
So much has been revealed in such a short time. I finally know who killed my parents and why. The knowledge has both released a deep pain inside me but also left me feeling so confused. How can someone declare to love another, yet willingly cause them so much pain and even death?
Which in turn makes me think of my grandmother. A woman who loved me but became power hungry, and was going to kill me but didn’t. Thinking of her makes me feel so confused, and I wonder, could I ever trust her enough again to let her back into my life? After all, even though she opted to not kil
l me herself, she didn’t try and save me either.
A sense of urgency flows over me, and I know that if I don’t go now, I’ll never be “right” again. I won’t be able to shake this dark cloud crushing me. Before I can change my mind, I write Victor a quick note, letting him know I will be back soon.
My dearest Victor,
You are the love of my life, my other half, my soul mate. I’ll be only gone a short while. I’m just heading out for a run. So please don’t worry if I’m not here when you read this. Though to be honest, I’ll probably be back before you do.
I have a feeling deep inside that if I don’t go now, I’ll never be okay again. We’ll never be okay or able to move forward with our lives, together. I hope you know how much I love and need you. You are my heart, my destiny, my everything. Yours forever and all eternity.
Candi
P.S. I’ll be back in time for dinner at the very latest.
I feel slightly giddy after writing the letter, as I definitely know I am going outside on my own. I quickly put on my trainers, and with a final glance around the room, I descend the stairs and exit the front door without seeing anyone.
I stand outside for just a second breathing in the scents. I realize this was a bad mistake as the smell of death and blood assail my senses. It’ll take a long time for that scent to disappear, though the memory of what happened will cling to the earth.
Turning in the opposite direction, I jog into the woods, following the path that we took the last time we were here. Strange how long ago that feels even though it was a scant few months since the New Year’s Ball.
I run down the path. Ducking low-hanging branches, I let my feet pound on the dirt path, snapping broken twigs lying in my path. The wind tickles my face and brushes my hair out of my way, and I finally feel a small smile curl my lips upward.
I pump my arms and legs faster and run farther down the path than I’ve previously been. My heart beats at a steady pace, and I feel, for the first time in a week, alive. I can’t help the laugh that gurgles out from me, the sense of joy I finally feel, and the knowing that I am alive. I shout out into the woods a simple hello, and then I see it. Standing in the middle of the path, staring intently at me.
Chapter 50
I stumble and skid to an unsteady stop, almost tripping over my own momentum and the branches on the path. Until finally I stop, panting in great gulps of air, to stare wide eyed at the wolf in the road. The same wolf I’d seen the last time I traveled this path, and I wonder if Jezebel is right and this is my spirit animal.
“Hello,” I whisper to it, unsure if I should talk to it or if I’m meant to wait and see if it does something first.
The wolf cocks its head to the side, watching me intently, finally it chuffs out what sounds like a laugh and comes closer to me.
“You’ve been doubting yourself and in pain. Why?”
It takes me a moment to realize it’s the wolf that’s talking to me. Speaking directly into my head. I sit down on the road, facing the wolf who sits directly in front of me.
“Because of what I did.”
“Yet you were told that your actions saved everyone, still you doubt yourself. Why?”
I feel frustrated with this conversation and wonder for a split second if Victor has managed to transform into a wolf. Shaking my head at the idea, I concentrate instead on the question.
“Because when I acted, I didn’t know if my actions would save us too. I killed all those people because I was angry and terrified we’d all die.”
“Do you not wonder that this could have been because you sensed the truth in your feelings? You are more than just a witch. You have been destined to save lives and return all magicks.
“To do this, sometimes you also have to destroy and take away the lives of your enemies. No easy task, I must admit, yet you have been chosen because you feel. You are the Witness Who Feels. The Double Magick one. And eventually you will have another title. What that is, I cannot yet tell you.”
I can’t help it. I gape at the wolf, who gives me such an amused look before bumping his snout against mine in a friendly gesture.
“Stop running from your fate. Return to your soul mate. It’s time for the next chapter of your destiny to begin. A destiny you and your vampire will partake in together.” The wolf lowers his head at me as if bowing, stands up, and simply disappears.
“Return to him” is the final thing I hear whispered on the breeze before I stand up and run back the way I’d come. I need to see Victor and tell him what happened. A smile spreads across my face, and my heart feels lighter than it has in a while.
Chapter 51
I dash back to the castle. Flinging open the door, I shout out, “Victor?” and am surprised to hear a groan from behind me.
“Right here, sweetheart. You almost pummeled me through the wall with the door.”
Turning around so fast I almost go skidding, I launch myself at him and knock him into the wall, before kissing him soundly.
Once our mouths unlock, he releases a chuckle. Leaning his forehead against mine, he looks me in the eye with a silly grin on his face. “I take it your run did you a world of good. God, I’ve missed you.”
Pulling back slightly, I stare at him in confusion. “I’ve been right here. How could you miss me?”
“Candi…” Shaking his head at me, he looks for an instant so sad I want to cry and ease his hurt. “You might have been physically here but not emotionally. You’ve been trapped in emotional guilt and pain, unwilling or unable to release yourself from it.”
Leaning forward, I kiss him gently on the mouth. A more brushing of our lips than anything. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I have something to tell you, though.” Taking a step backward, I link my fingers with his and drag him toward the stairs and ultimately our chamber.
Once inside, he sits on the bed with his back against the headboard. I don’t sit down; I can’t. Instead, I pace the length of the room, backward and forward, letting the words flow from me with each step I take.
I quickly tell him of what I was feeling before going for the run, the sense of urgency and desperate need and mainly the knowledge if I didn’t go straight away, I would never be able to disentangle myself from the pain of my actions.
And then I tell him how I felt when I was running, up until seeing the wolf and the conversation that came about with my spirit animal.
Once done, I sit beside him and curl up next to him. His arms wrap around my waist and my head rests on his shoulder. Finally, I feel at peace.
Closing my eyes, I relax into the strength of Victor’s body. I feel his hand caressing me from shoulder to hip and back again. With each stroke of his hand, I feel a little bit more healed inside, as if his touch is literally filling the gaps in my soul that have been ripped apart.
A puff of air escapes me, and in that moment, I feel once more complete.
Chapter 52
Leaning down slightly, he kisses me. I reach up and wrap an arm around the back of his neck and deepen the kiss. I nip at his bottom lip, and once he parts his lips, my tongue dives into his mouth to tangle with his.
A groan of satisfaction emits from us. I’m not sure who made the noise; maybe we both did. All I know is I feel sparks shooting through my system, bringing life back to what felt like it would be cold and dead forever.
My spare hand grasps his shoulder, as I move myself onto his lap to straddle him. My hands massage his hair and shoulder as I grind myself into his lap. His arousal pulses hard between us, and I feel it jumping slightly between my legs. A hiss of satisfaction leaves me at the feel of him rubbing against me.
“Too many clothes,” I mutter into his mouth.
“Are you sure?” he asks, pulling his head back ever so slightly, just enough to make eye contact. I see the hunger flaring in his eyes, mixed with the desire echoing in his voice.
“Very,” I purr, as I lean closer to once more claim his mouth with mine. I grasp the bottom of my t-shirt
with both hands and pull it up, releasing my mouth from his long enough to get my top over my head before fusing my lips back to his.
His hands run over my torso, kneading and stroking it, as our tongues mate and withdraw from each other. I run my fingers through his soft hair, down his back, and up the inside of his t-shirt. I need skin-to-skin contact. With a growl of frustration, I tug his top upward and receive a masculine chuckle of amusement for my trouble.
“Allow me.” On these amused words, he rips his top up the middle, exposing his muscular chest to my eager eyes, mouth, and hands.
He wraps his arms around my waist, trapping my hands against his body as he pulls me tight against him, only to lean forward to tip us over, me on the bottom with him secured between my legs.
With a wicked smirk, he grinds his pelvis into mine, grips the waist of my tracksuit bottoms, and hooks his fingers into them and my panties before pulling both down and pulling away from me to remove them, my trainers, and socks in one swift movement.
I suddenly feel extremely naked, and not just because I am. I’m open to him completely, both my body and my heart. Before I can close my legs, he grips my knees and, with the barest shake of his head, spreads them wider.
“Never hide from me, Candi.” Victor’s voice rumbles from his chest, sounding like a large cat purring as milk chocolate melts in its mouth. His eyes are passion-filled vampiric blue fire, and his fangs are descended and look exactly what they are, very shiny deadly weapons that can be oh so sensual too.
Lifting my legs, he places them on his shoulders, bends down, and takes a long lick up my leg toward the center of my body. For some strange reason, this reminds me of something.
“Victor, stop,” I moan. I receive an arched eyebrow and an are-you-kidding-me look for my trouble. “No, seriously, I was out running; I need to go and shower,” I splutter in complete mortification. How the hell did I forget I was all sweaty and yucky?
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