"Nor I you," Lana said, rising on her tiptoes as if she strained to kiss him when a soft cough broke from their forgotten watcher. Blushing brighter, she slipped back down to the floor and cast a soft apology in Leliana's direction. After a moment, Lana blinked and then gestured at his cargo, "You've brought a plant back?"
"That was what I was wondering about," Leliana said, her body slack despite the crossed arms, but there was an unreadable smirk across her lips. Cullen was uncertain if he'd made the right or wrong choice about Lana's hair, and either seemed as if it would end in a spike trap.
"I spotted it in the market, and, well..." he handed it over to Lana who accepted the plant with more confusion in her face. "You pointed it out when we were in the Anderfells, with the bright blue flowers."
"Oh," her eyes brightened in recognition and Cullen smiled. "You think it's foxglow."
"It's not?" his smile crashed into consternation as he prodded at the silver leaves.
Lana giggled, "No, it's close, I can understand the confusion. Both have the same silver veins running through their leaves. This is adder's hiss, which can induce horrible hallucinations and vomiting in someone if they eat it. Where did you find it?"
"A flower stand on the walk up," Cullen felt a stir of anger rising through him from his failure. He wanted to get something nice, and instead he brought her poison.
"Interesting," Lana glanced towards the Divine.
"Do you remember which one is dealing in potential poisoning? I'll have my...clerics look into it," Leliana spoke up, her shrewd eyes slipping over him.
Cullen was about to tell her, hopeful at least something would come of his blunder, when Lana interrupted, "I doubt it's anything nefarious. It's a pretty planet, people like that it's shiny. Besides..."
She placed the plant down upon the table, then pointed at a saucer upon the end table behind Cullen. When he picked it up, he was surprised to find it still slightly warm. After harvesting a single leaf off his poison plant, Lana dropped it into the cup and stirred it with a spoon. "You can't accidentally or even purposefully poison anyone with adder's hiss because..." as she finished stirring, she yanked out the spoon to reveal tendrils of bright silver leeching off the leaves and disseminating through the tea. It glittered like stars. "It's a dead giveaway almost instantly. I've heard of some remote people in the mountains drinking it as part of a ritual to honor their ancestors, but I wouldn't risk it."
Unable to wipe away the excitement in her eyes from sharing a new fact, Lana placed the cup down on the table and turned back to them. "It's rather interesting that its natural silver shine can be transmuted so easily. I'm not certain if..." her words trailed off and she paused. "Sorry," she mumbled to herself, and then in an aside over her shoulder whipped off, "No Jowan, I have no memories for you."
Cullen and Leliana both stared at her as Lana paused in messing with the plant's leaves. Her lips opened and she twitched her nose while a blush burned over her cheeks. "I didn't mean, I, it was a habit in the fade, when...and the spirits to combat, I..." She turned in on herself, her arms wrapping around her chest in a one sided hug. Despite feeling worthless from bringing in adder's hiss, Cullen slid an arm around Lana and pulled her close to him. She didn't release her grip upon herself, only leaned against his chest while he brushed his lips against the top of her head.
"Silver tea. That would explain why I so rarely hear reports of adder's hiss poisoning," Leliana commented after a time, not drawing any attention to Lana's outburst and only focusing on the effect the potential poison would have on anyone immediately at risk. "I'm sorry to say, I need to return to the chantry before anything of importance occurs. Lanny, think upon what we spoke of."
"I..." she bobbed her head and the dread washed away. A quirky smile turned up Lana's lips. "I'm not a child, you don't need to remind me to finish my spells before dinner."
"Forgive me, I fear the cowl has turned me into Wynne," Leliana laughed. Tipping her head, she said a crisp, "Commander," before exiting the apartments and leaving them alone.
The shame returned instantly around Lana once the door shut, but Cullen only held her tighter. She released her tight grip on herself and ran her fingers over his arm coated in the filth of the road. "Lana," he whispered into her sheered hair, "you were in there a long time. It's understandable that...parts remain with you."
"I know," she bobbed her listless head and drank down a sigh. "What about you?" The turn of conversation caught Cullen so unawares, his grip slackened and she turned in his arms to look up into his eyes.
"What of me?"
"The lyrium withdrawal and...don't roll your eyes before insisting it's nothing. It is something," her fingers dug into his cheek, keeping him focused on her compassionate eyes.
He did his best to not think about the thirst by focusing on her. She needed him to help her heal, to guide her back to the real world after two years in the fade. If he gave her his all then, then he didn't need to hear the lyrium calling through his veins. "I..." Cullen knew insisting he was fine would only get him in more trouble, "I'm more on edge as of late, though there's a good chance that's simply Orlais itself."
Lana snickered at that, and she folded up into him, her cheek burying into his chest. Maker, that was what he needed.Wrapping his arms around her, he drew strength from her embrace. While Lana curled up to him, he felt safe enough to admit the truth. "The thirst is there, stronger than what I've faced in years. And I've noticed more trembling in my hands."
"So, not the time to ask you to repair a miniature clock?"
"Only if you wish it smashed into millions of tiny pieces," he joked, earning him a soft laugh. With eyes shut tight, Cullen pressed his lips to her forehead, giving thanks that he could hear her laugh again, that he could do something to give birth to it.
"You shouldn't push yourself," Lana said, "healing takes time and..."
"Are you going to repeat everything I said to you?" he asked, rising up higher to try and catch her eye, but she was buried too deep into him.
"Let me think, I believe there was something about fighting through the pain and..." she giggled as his fingers swept down her sides finding the sweet spot, "and that...Maker, fine-fine. I give!" She waved her hands from his tickling and he stopped, falling into the joy swept across her face. With both hands, Lana grabbed onto the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss. What started as a sweet peck heated beyond measure as Lana parted her succulent lips and Cullen's tongue slipped in. A moan rattled in the back of her throat, her fingers digging into his curls and pulling him ever deeper into her. Slowly, his hands rose from the curl of her waist upwards, when Lana slipped away from him, a curious quirk to her smile.
He steadied himself from the rush of blood while she placed her head back upon his chest as if nothing happened. It seemed as if they were always surrounded by others, first the king and now the Divine. Whenever there was any alone time, either Lana, himself, or the both of them were exhausted beyond measure. On occasion, Cullen wondered to himself when or if they'd return to beyond a few kisses, but he felt like a cad whenever the idea stirred. She'd been through he couldn't even imagine, the least she deserved was time.
"Tell me," Lana spoke, her voice husky, "why'd you really get the plant? You're not a flowers person."
"Are you?" he asked, feeling uncertain once again.
She chuckled, her nose nudging into her sternum, "No, not particularly."
Trying to bury the shame of his utter failure, Cullen admitted the truth to her, "I was in a foul mood during the walk, from the Orlesians, more or less. And while 'grumping' as you put it, I spotted what I thought were the familiar silver leaves of the plant you pointed out and it lightened my spirits."
"You saw it and thought of me," she said, her cheeks spreading wide while she buried her smile against his filthy tunic.
"I..." he snorted, "Maker, that sounds even more trite when said aloud."
"No," Lana lifted her weary head to gaze up at him. Instinctive
ly, he cradled her cheek in his hand. "I love it. It's a very beautiful plant, and I haven't tried to keep anything alive in awhile." Her eyes slipped closed, those brush thick lashes fanning out over her cheeks. "Thank you, I'll have to keep it up away from Honor."
"Um," he glanced around the room aware of the near goatlike climbing skills his dog possessed, "perhaps if we extend it off the ceiling in the middle of the room."
"She'd be unlikely to eat it if it's hanging from a hook near the window, unless she has access to climbing gear."
"Maker," he shook his head, a full smile properly replacing his bad mood, "I fear she could con some out of a merchant."
"Awe," Lana turned in his grasp to eye up Honor whose stub was wagging from her name being mentioned, "do you have your own secret caches stashed about the city already?" Her hand danced along Honor's ears, digging into the spot behind the left that caused the mabari's tongue to dangle out.
After watching his dog succumb to the machinations of his...Lana, Cullen asked, "What did you and Leliana get up to?"
He got a slow eye roll as she returned to him, "I think Leliana is trying to establish me here for a year or more. Today it was looking presentable with a haircut and ordering clothing."
"Well, we could both use a wash at least," Cullen smiled, but internally a panic grew. Would Lana want to remain in Val Royeaux close to her best friend? Not for a short time of healing but for that mentioned year or more? Could he survive Orlais as long as she wanted?
"Mmm," Lana's hands ran down the scoop of his shoulders, caressing the divots and rise of his arms while a hazy look fell over her eyes. He had no idea what she was thinking as she seemed to be measuring him up with her fingers. Suddenly, her eyes focused and she stared up at him, "Oh, we have yet to check out the bedroom."
"You didn't look?"
"Without you? Never. I fear I'll need backup by the way Leliana failed to describe it." She stepped back slowly, her feet barely lifting off the ground which meant her muscles were tensing up again. Lana only made it through the long trip by flooding herself with magic. While he knew little of the nitty gritty of casting, Cullen could taste a near constant mana in the air around her skin and spotted her often flexing her aching fingers from dipping too much into the veil.
Holding a hand out to him, Lana lifted one shoulder, "Shall we see what terrors await us?"
Cullen took her hand and wrapped it in both of his. "Do you think we'll require Honor?"
Sliding along the floor at a glacial pace, Lana didn't let on to her pain. A mischievous smile was all that graced her features as she placed a hand against the doorknob, the perfectly ordinary looking doorknob. "Honor," she called to their mabari, causing her to rise off the floor, "stand ready." The dog wagged her tail and then froze, waiting for input. Lana lifted her eyes to Cullen and crossed her fingers, "Here we go."
As the door slid open, the light of the sitting room could only glance upon two of the four posts supporting the bed and a crimson rug resting upon the floor. Lana released his hand and he tasted the fade building into the world as she brought a fire to life in the hearth. After blinking away the yellow burn against his eyes Cullen turned to glance at the room and he felt his knees give out.
"Holy Maker," he cursed, covering his mouth with his hand both terrified to look and look away at the same time.
"There's nothing holy about that," Lana pointed at the bed post that, thanks to the fire bringing out the highlights of the carved wood, he realized was not a twisted bundle of vines as he'd previously thought. "Or that," she pointed at the second post across from it. "Now that's just impossible," she scoffed at the back posts which Cullen realized were joined by another pair of exuberant participants carved into the cross joints.
"At least the mirror doesn't look too...Oh," her voice fell as she scooted close to the grand vanity set along the side wall. Carefully, she picked up the hinged mirror and scooted it up and down. "Is it just me or do the body parts have faces?" she asked flippantly, somehow not unnerved by every facet of sexuality carved and painted surrounding them. Cullen had to be burning to ash from the blush blazing under his skin but Lana seemed to only be slightly curious and mostly amused.
"Ooh, look at the carpet," she twisted her head around, following the outer circle. "It's like an ode to cunnilingus in fiber form. Can you imagine what the meetings of Grand Clerics were like in Innocente's time?"
"I fear I would have to walk into Andraste's holy fire if I did," Cullen answered truthfully.
Lana snickered at his response as if it was a joke. Spinning once in a circle, she plopped down onto the bed, placed her hands on her knees and announced, "I like it."
Cullen's jaw dislocated and hit the floor coated in etchings of various body parts doing things body parts did. "You..." he pinched his eyes up then opened them wide, hoping that would somehow erase the multitude of carnal delight available to people contained in only four walls. "You like it?" Maker, what did he get himself into? A panic gripped onto his stomach and refused to let go at the terror that this was Lana's idea of preferred decorating.
"Yup," she smiled, placing her hands behind her as she leaned back, "it's so horrifyingly atrocious I'll be able to stay awake easily in here."
"Oh sweet Maker," Cullen collapsed in on himself, grateful that she felt the same as him. Then he rose up in response to the end of her sentence, "Lana..."
"I know, I know, but..." she lifted an eyebrow, her lips rising in a sneer, "do you think you could sleep in here?"
"I'm terrified to touch anything at the moment," he admitted. Cullen kept his hands cupped around his elbows just to make certain they didn't come in contact with any of the carvings or other surfaces.
Giggling, Lana patted the bed beside her. He screwed up his courage and shut his eyes in order to risk sitting down. Slowly, he lowered his back half towards the blanket stretched upon the mattress, hoping he could hover above it without touching anything. Just as he was about to adjust his knees, Lana wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him onto the bed. In shock, Cullen tumbled downward, first ass and then the rest of him until his back was fully coddled by the mattress. He blinked, staring up at the ceiling that bore a surprisingly beautiful painting of Andraste's life done in pastel oils.
Then Lana's face hovered above his and she smiled wide. "It's comfortable, isn't it?"
Cullen nodded and he rose up to a sitting position, "Say what you want about the...peculiarities of the Divines, but they certainly enjoy their comfort."
"And I thought Leliana would be out of place among them," Lana snorted, "shows what I know."
"I really do not wish to hear why," Cullen said, pinching his nose. It'd been a trying day and somehow it managed to keep getting more surreal with every opened door. He began to push his fingers into his closed eyelids, when he felt a hand curl around the back of his neck. Agile fingers dug into the knots, trying to loosen away the headache. It wasn't until he took a deep breath that he felt the gentle kiss of magic floating under his skin. She was subtle with it, only offering a quick sip of her balm when he'd fall under great strain.
As the pain lessened, Cullen reached over and grabbed onto her hand. Lana's eyes darted up, the edge of concern cresting through her beautiful face, but he didn't admonish her or try to cast away her helping hands. Instead, he smiled and whispered, "Thank you."
"I love you," she sputtered out. "I, uh, wanted to say it before when Leliana was here but, she can be a bit overprotective."
"You do not say," Cullen sighed, wishing he had his own backup out here beyond the dog who adored everyone she met.
Lana ran her fingers down his thigh, her thumb playing with the hole above his knee. "I meant it," her eyes snapped up at him, conviction swirling through her elegant browns, "I love you. And, I want what we have to work, to really work and be something."
By all that was good in thedas, he loved her. It wore at his nerves traveling with the King, of that there was no doubt, and while he had his reser
vations about finding Lana and ever holding her again, he knew with every fiber of his soul that she had his heart. She always would. As his hand cupped her cheek, Lana pressed her own against it, holding him tighter to her skin.
"I'm leaving the Inquisition."
"What?" Lana started, rising up.
"I..." He hadn't meant to say the words aloud, they slipped free while he watched her give him her own heart. He'd been thinking them often of late in the back of his mind, the question dogging his every step. Even before setting out to find her he wondered if he would return to Skyhold. Now, with Lana beside him, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else but wrapped in her arms.
Dipping his head down, Cullen's forehead skimmed against hers, "I gave the Inquisition my arm for three years. It was to be my redemption and, perhaps it's bold of me, but I think I've finally earned it."
"Cullen," her cool touch followed his cheek and down the scruff while she closed her eyes, "I don't want to, to come between you and... It was your cause."
"And now it's over," he stared into her eyes that looked uncertain, but for who?
"If I weren't here, if...if we'd never been," she waved between them, then her eyes darted up to the bedpost carving and she pointed at that instead. "Would you want to leave the Inquisition?"
He pulled her wandering hands into his and rested them both in her lap. "Lana, you are here. I want you here, more than anything I've ever... I gave the Inquisition three years of my life, I think it's your turn now. I love you."
Her perturbed frown blossomed into a heart warming smile and she swallowed, "All right then. I suppose the next question is how does one leave the Inquisition?"
Cullen wrapped his arm around her shoulders and carefully pulled both of them back upon the bed until they lay side by side, his hands cradling her. "That will require a lot of letters."
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