As much as she wanted to believe that after five years of the two of them supporting an easy friendship he suddenly fell in love with her, the other truth made more sense. He was scared, he lashed out at the first thing he could think of to build a new home, and when that fear wore off...he'd hate himself. And Myra'd hate herself for hurting him.
Fuck this sucked.
She couldn't stop the stupid tears as she realized how badly she'd actually wanted this. Maybe for years even. How often she'd let her flight of fancy drift off to dream of him walking into her room in the College and declaring that he couldn't be without her anymore. Just let it happen. Give yourself something good for once.
But that damn Sayer Stubbornness clung tight to Myra. She might be a giant pain in the ass to most, but she was loyal to those in her heart. And nice to dogs and cats...and lizards.
"Myra," his hands both skirted against her cheeks, the tears at her foolishness pooling on his skin. Great, he knew she was crying about him. "That's not true."
"I won't stop being your friend," she threw out fast and he laughed a moment.
"I know you won't. You never would. But..." Gavin snapped his teeth together a moment in thought. Breaking away from his hold on her, he rifled through his pajama pocket and unearthed a pile of vellum. "These are the letters."
"The ones you wanted to send me from the abbey?" Myra asked confused. What would that prove beyond her point?
"No," Gavin yanked three out of the stack at random and unfurled the barely scratched on vellum. "These are ones I've written over the past three years."
Myra snatched them away, her eyes reading fast over the dates. One was from a year and a half ago, he made mention of a Soul Day escapade involving a donkey and an apple cart before he told her he loved her. Then the letter ended in a sea of nothing. Another from two years back, the third even further. She picked up the rest of the pile, her eyes hunting through the dates that kept dancing around in time but the sentiment always the same, "I love you, and I have no idea how to tell you."
"It's always been in there, but you...you had your life and, sometimes you had," Gavin shifted and coughed, "others in your life."
"Maker's hairy nutsack," Myra groaned, her head tipping back.
"I never wanted to interfere in your life, to force a decision upon you, but...Myra, I've loved you for a very long time." His eyes all but pleaded with her to take the evidence into account, to give him another chance.
"How long?" she asked.
Gavin shifted a moment, his head tipping down as he seemed to be overwhelmed with the thought. "This will sound pathetic beyond measure, but..." his eyes popped open as he stared right into hers, "when we broke apart, when I told you the truth and you...you didn't hate me for it."
"Why--?"
"I was young, and foolish, and was still very afraid of..."
Myra laid a finger against his lips and she smiled sweetly, "Why tell me now?"
"My father, he..." Gavin shifted on his ass, his head whipping back towards the west. "I was tired of thinking of all the reasons it wouldn't work." Amber burning with a purpose turned to her and he said, "I wanted a reason worth trying for, worth living for. I wanted you."
With his old words pleading for love pressed against her heart, Myra fumbled to grip onto his hand. She willed the warming spell through the hold, watching as his cheeks flushed from the glow. "I..." Gavin darted his eyes around the rooftop. "I'm not certain what that means."
She didn't either. Go for it? Be with him again, see if the third time was the charm. And if it failed? If she had to pick herself up and try to move on?
In her chest, Myra felt her heart still. Her eyes slid closed as she tipped her head back and forth. Trapped inside her hand, Gavin's fingers tried to caress her palm back and forth. It was a big risk. A huge one really. Probably change her whole life kind of thing.
A smirk lifted on Myra's lips. She always was known for being reckless.
CHAPTER TEN
Finally
Diving forward, Myra fell straight into Gavin's perfect lips. Maker's sake, how many times did she practically squeal while trying to describe them to her friends? Pillowy but the firm kind, like a really good mattress that you knew would support you for years.
As the heat increased, she straddled on her knees across his lap -- her blanket knocked off the side to land in the rooftop snow. Gavin whispered something into her mouth that sounded like a prayer while his free hands moved down her back to cup her waist. Without any of the frills of the mage robes in the way, she could practically feel his naked fingers tempting her skin through the thin shirt. Blessed Andraste, what she wouldn't give for him to...
When Gavin reached the hem of her tunic, he didn't politely lift his hands up to her back, or pause the kissing and start reading. Digging right under, he drew his powerful fingers up the naked flesh of her waist.
"Dear Maker," Myra cursed, breaking away from the kiss as her spine arced to meet with his hands. She slammed her eyes tight while he scratched alive the skin that burned in its wake.
His amber eyes snapped open, the man reading to see how she reacted to his actions. Chuckling at the ever present concern, Myra gripped onto his chin, pressed her chest into his, and dove right back into kissing him.
With each draw of his hands against her, Myra's mouth opened, giving Gavin the perfect opportunity to dip his masterful tongue in. Long and lean, it twisted with hers in a haphazard ballet, Myra tasting him in a way she never thought would be possible again.
Dipping away from his chin, Myra's hand started at the top of his chest. The fold of muscle, those pillowed but flat as a cliff pecs, tempted her for years. She'd see them outlined under shirts, by the sweat of his body, or the rain he'd work in. Never being allowed to touch no matter how much she wanted to.
Now, Gavin squirmed to press his chest tighter to her hand while she worked her palm further down the pop of power he carried. There was a soft curve to his stomach muscles, the abs bent from his sit, but that lit her hotter. She wanted to lap up that soft fold, to dip her tongue in and out of the bend in his skin and warm flesh, to give a gentle tug while rubbing back and forth on his thighs.
In trailing lower to find the bottom of his abs, Myra's wrist knocked right into that illusive part of him she'd probably burnt nearly all of her imagination on over the years. Just the head skittered across her palm before she shifted away, but the touch caused Gavin's mouth to drop open in a gasp of pleasure.
Fear swarmed her stomach, Myra terrified that she'd just shoved him into something he wasn't ready for. In all their times making out when they were teenagers, she'd never gotten close to feeling him up even over pants. And now...
Gavin's fingers curled off her back to land on her stomach pooch. He seemed as fascinated with her softer flesh as she did his. Leaning closer, his hot breath wafted through her ear -- Myra shuddering as a result. "I want you," he breathed before those amber eyes burned with ferocity into hers.
A gulp lifted up Myra's throat, her spine trembling at both the hunger in his voice and the want boiling in her veins. "I'm...you know I'm not a virgin," she said, wincing even as it fell out. The fact she wasn't good enough to wait.
Those perfect lips lifted and Gavin snickered, "You are with me."
Blighted hell!
Wrapping her arms around the back of his head, Myra pulled his face to hers for more kissing. She couldn't stop thumbing his thick curls up and down in her fingers, getting a good grip while softly tugging. Each pull made him gasp a bit longer, letting her tongue slip in to play with his. His hands were busy too, rising up outside her tunic. She expected him to chastely caress her stomach, but they both lifted straight up her ribs to swirl over her breasts.
"Oh, yes," Myra moaned, tipping her head back as those great hands expertly coddled her chest. He began at the bottom, lifting what sparse flesh there was and making Myra squirm even harder on his thighs. They may be tiny things, but she adored having them touched.
The damn man playing her like a flute smiled, "I've ached to for so long."
Those amber eyes welled up in sincerity right beside hers, Myra gulping at how he wasn't just getting her good and wet, but driving her heart more open than it'd been in years. Cupping his jaw, she kissed him sweetly on the lips, almost as if they were 13 and sneaking away to that magical pond. Then she dipped down, her lips lapping along his. With her tongue, she skirted along the scar etched deep into his bottom lip. Gavin shifted in his seat, letting her suck his lip into her mouth, her teeth grazing across it.
Wanting more, Myra slipped lower, her lips trailing into his forest of scruff. It scratched against her, waking her skin the way his nails did while she worked along that square jaw. How many girls tittered over it? How many nearly walked into a door while staring at it? And how in the Maker's name was she the one kissing it?
At his ear, Myra playfully lapped her tongue against the dangling lobe. The man sucked in a breath, his arms trembling from her move as she raised her face higher. After licking along the shell, she paused right beside his ear and whispered, "For years, I've been dreaming of you climbing on top of me, knocking open my legs, and screwing me until the sun rises."
Gavin's breath hitched in his throat, his mouth hanging open while her filthy but true words rolled around in his brain. She couldn't hold it back anymore. Myra was never a good girl, whatever that looked like, and if he wanted to wait until some mythical wedding day then...
Amber eyes burned into hers, Gavin's face dead certain, "I want that too."
A yelp erupted from her throat at the drive in his voice. With her legs straddled so far apart, Myra's whole cave of wonders was flashing a bunch of brilliant ideas to her brain. Every single one involved Gavin as naked as she'd dare dream, in a field of sunflowers with a book in his hands. Maker's breath, she flexed her thighs together while his hands curled around her waist and played with her shirt.
It's not a dream. It's not a dream. This is real. Please, let this be real because if I wake up in bed next to a snoring Joss...
Gavin's slippery, hot lips pressed a deep kiss to Myra's before he began to tug on her shirt. She ached to have it off, to feel his skin crushed against as much of hers as he could, but... The last time she took her shirt off around him, he dumped her. He had a good reason and all, but that wasn't a fear that vanished easily.
Sliding back a bit, Myra took control, her hands slowly lifting up the old tunic with an embroidered bear on the front. Real sexy, for certain. Why not add a few pompoms while at it. Ooh, they could go over her chest like fuzzy nipples. She raised the hem to just under her breasts and paused. If she ruined this again with the power of her naked chest what option was left for her other than fleeing to the chantry and taking a vow of chastity?
Her eyes darted over to find Gavin staring directly at her bare flesh, his teeth biting down on his lip while his still clothed chest heaved in a breath. Blessed Maker... Myra prayed to herself while yanking the shirt off over her head.
She barely had a chance to drop it to the side, when Gavin's warm hands cupped both of her breasts. No tunic in the way, no matter how thin, felt incredible. He was so gentle, teasing and not pinching, while firm and certain. Myra's internal temperature threatened to explode.
"It's, uh..." she risked an eye to stare down at the man keeping her boobs warm. "It's okay?"
His silky voice purred, "You're beautiful." She hadn't been fishing for a compliment, but that answered her question too. Tipping forward, Myra got in a few more kisses while Gavin explored her nipples. He was a quick learner, figuring out that corkscrewing his thumb and forefinger over her nips nearly caused Myra to black out in pleasure.
No, no, no, no! This isn't fair. Here she was braving the cold winter (while ignoring it thanks to magic) naked, and he got to sit there in his shirt. Not gonna happen.
Quickly, Myra snagged onto the neckline of his tunic, bunched it in her fist and dragged him to her lips. Gavin laughed at the move and leaned forward. That gave Myra the perfect opportunity to yank up the back of his shirt over his head. His noddly hair all piled forward until Gavin tipped that chiseled face back and smiled.
For a brief second his hands fell off her breasts, leaving them feeling all lonely, to tug himself free of his shirt. While bundling it up and tossing it to the side, Myra got to watch a true miracle of the Maker. Gavin's forearms popped just from him knotting his shirt into a ball, the dark arm hair wafting in the breeze. Her fingers cupped at his square wrist and worked their way higher until landing at his elbow and freezing.
"You can touch more," he whispered, a laugh in his voice.
Myra blinked, her heart stopped dead. She was stuck on his biceps. Sure, he'd occasionally roll his sleeves up revealing those forearm muscles as he dug into work, but sweet blighted Maker those arms should be outlawed. Or at least people warned that staring directly at them could cause blindness and fainting. Even with his hands just holding her, she could see that one vein rising over the top. What would it take to make it prod higher, his biceps straining from the load? Blessed Andraste, how could she be the one to watch that?
"It's, you're...give me a minute here, there's a lot to take in," she gasped, finally letting her eyes travel to that chest. Maybe it was absence clouding her memory, but she could swear it looked stronger than when they were seventeen. Prouder. Braver. It'd been lean before, almost too lean, but the years had put a small layer of softness overtop -- the cuddle layer -- while leaving all that jaw dropping muscle intact.
Gavin picked up her frozen hand by the wrist. Her fingers hung limply a moment until, by the back of her hand, he pressed her palm against his chest. Myra probably made some stupid sound, like a druffalo that just found a crate of carrots or similar, but she couldn't hear it. Her ears were jammed with crushing waves as she let herself live the impossible fantasy.
With Gavin guiding her, her hand traipsed down the mountainous terrain of his body. By the veilfire, his luxurious brown skin took on an otherworldly glow -- almost as if he was a spirit himself.
A spirit of sex!
Focus, Myra. Don't be that stupid.
At his stomach, the abs playing a round of peekaboo from his sit, Myra dipped her pinkie into his bellybutton. That caused him to smile a moment, seeming to enjoy her antics, when he bundled her hand in his. With thumb and pinkie holding her palm, he pulled her lower towards his whole, uh thunderous area, until she glanced across the crown of his cock.
Moaning, Gavin let go and dug his hands into the ground. He let Myra take control, her hand gently waffling over the prodding feature as she cupped it into her palm. Even with the trousers in the way, she could feel the foreskin slipping further back to reveal as much of the head as it dared. She tried to glide it around, but those cursed pajama pants kept tenting up and sliding away.
Myra grabbed onto the hem and tried to work them down, when she paused and looked up at Gavin. He seemed lost in his own sea of pleasure, but without her hands pumping away, he cracked open an eye to look at her. A smile of realization rose and he raised up on his hips to worry his trousers downward.
She tried to lean over to catch a view of his naked ass, but he landed on it too quick. Next time, Myra promised herself, while fully forgetting that there was a main event right before her. He only worked his trousers down to his thighs before Gavin had to abandon ship, but it left more than enough room for his cock to raise high through the night air.
"I, uh," Gavin flushed and the long buried dork returned. He pawed at the back of his neck and gazed heavenward, "it's not anything great..."
Myra snorted, her lips salivating for a taste. Forming a circle between her thumb and forefinger, she twisted around the above average thickness. While bringing the rest o
f her fingers around and sliding upwards, she whispered, "It's fantastic."
Grabbing onto her cheek, Gavin pulled her to his lips while she began to work him over good. Every other tug on that ol' trouser snake, he'd gasp in her mouth. The hot blast of air drove her wilder, Myra aching to bring him all the way, to feel him explode in her. She gave him one last kiss, her tongue twirling around with his as a preview, before she began to scrunch down.
Gavin's hand curled down her naked back, resting as he waited. When she drew her face near his cock, Myra dangled her tongue out and gave one slow lick from the straights on the cap up to the top. She anticipated a groan, and there was one as the ecstatic audience in her hands twitched, but Gavin suddenly tensed up under her.
It was quick, his legs locking tight and arms, yes, bulging. She pulled away in concern, her eyes meeting his closed lids while a flinch played over his face. Myra reached out to cup his cheek, when he risked looking at her. Sweat rose upon his brow as he stuttered, "Not...uh, not yet. Not with that. Please?"
"Ookay," she was fully lost. That was practically demanded as the appetizer in her other relationships, but he seemed very uncomfortable with the whole concept. "We don't have to do anything below the belt," Myra said. Though after getting this worked up she'd have to get herself off alone or be curled up with cramps for awhile.
Gavin smiled through the strain and pulled her to him for a kiss. She expected it to be the innocent one, a sign off for later, but he dove fully in. His hands plied through her shorter hair, tugging just right as he pushed harder against her. Myra scrambled to try and keep upright, her body bending backwards from the force while he started pressing hot kisses against the skin of her neck. Soft as a whisper, he began to nip with the edge of his teeth, causing Myra to moan while her thighs clenched tighter wanting anything hard to ride.
Abandoning her neck, which felt as if a desire demon curled its taunting fingers upon her, Gavin's lips sucked upon the top of her breasts. A silly giggle rose in her throat, Myra growing ticklish at the whisper kisses -- until he found her nipple.
My Love Page 369
