by Maya Hughes
“Why would she do that?”
“Because she was after my money, not me. She didn’t give a crap about me. She was using me and I was too stupid at the time to even notice, or care I guess,” he said, shrugging. “But once I found out, it was over.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you, that someone you loved betrayed you.” She got up and sat on the ottoman across from him, her leg bouncing frantically.
He glanced up at Rox, sitting across from him. He reached out and took her hand in his. Now, it was her turn to look away. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes.
“My mom died when I was four. I have almost dreamlike memories of her. Things that I’m not quite sure were real or if they were just a dream. Every memory I have of her, real or imagined, is a happy one. I don’t know when my dad started drinking, I’m thinking it was after she died, but he sort of went into this cave inside himself and didn’t come out. He didn’t hit me, but from a young age, I had to learn to do everything for myself.” She swallowed hard and her hand trembled in his.
“We didn’t have much money at all. There was never food in the house. Clothes were something I had to find or…” she nodded toward the folder. “Or steal. There were a lot of times couldn’t wait to get to school just to get some food in me. The stealing started as a necessity to survive and turned into something more. People started giving me money to steal things for them. I could use the money to buy whatever I wanted then. I didn’t have to steal everything I needed.” The shimmer of tears clung to her eyelashes. She was always trying to be so damn strong. Rubbing his other hand over hers, he silently urged her to go on. He was making her relive these terrible memories by bringing that folder into the house. He’d let Luc get under his skin and put Rox through this.
“As you can see,” she glanced over at the folder again. “I wasn’t always as stealthy as I needed to be. I was caught and charged. There were some big-ticket items I was stealing, so it wasn’t a misdemeanor. My dad had gotten a new girlfriend. I don’t know how, he almost never left the house, but whatever monthly money he had coming in was enough to attract that witch. He never hit me, but she sure as hell took pleasure in making my life a living hell. She’d hit me, break my things, whatever she wanted and he’d sit in that fucking recliner drinking his beer and watching TV like nothing was happening.” She pulled her hand from between his and rubbed them on her jeans.
“The night I left, she tried to set me on fire.” She let out a startled laugh and shook her head. “That bitch had a lighter and lighter fluid standing over me while I slept. She said she didn’t want a felon living in her house. I’d only had to spend a couple of days in jail. They let me out early, but to this day, I’ll never forget the look on her face. I knew that if I stayed there, she would have tried to kill me. I didn’t want to go to a group home or a foster care or anything. I was seventeen, I didn’t have much time left being a minor. So, I packed up my shit and left.”
“I met Jon not that long after. Thought it was finally my life turning around. I moved in with him. He took care of me. Everyone thought he was a saint taking in the underage felon runaway. He didn’t hit me until our one year anniversary. At that point I was completely dependent on him. I didn’t have any skills, I didn’t have anything. And well, I told you what it took to get me out of there.” Liam reached for her hand across the table and pulled it to him.
“I’m sorry Rox. I’m sorry you had to go through that and none of it was your fault.” She gave him a stiff nod.
“And none of what happened with your step-mom was yours either. You were a kid.” If he was going to tell her none of it was her fault, then he guessed the same would have to go for him. He gave her a sad nod back and she reached across the table to rest her palm against his cheek.
“I guess we’re both pretty screwed up by things that happened to us in the past that weren’t our fault.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” he said, leaning into her hand and bringing his up to caress it.
“I’m tired. Do you want to go to bed now?”
“Yeah, let’s go to bed.” He held her hand in his and led her through the house, to the bedroom, turning off the lights as they went. She sat on the end of the bed and he pulled off her boots.
“I’m going to take a shower, okay?”
“I’ll get things ready for you when you come out.” That had been close. He’d been so close to losing her. The file sat on the kitchen table and he wanted to chuck it into the ocean. He cursed himself for making her relive those painful memories. Hadn’t she been through enough?
“Okay,” she said, walking into the bathroom. The shower turned on and he could hear the water splashing. Going over to her drawers in the closet, he pulled out a t-shirt and some pajama pants and laid them out on her side of the bed for her.
Her side. It was amazing how quickly sharing this place with her seemed like second nature. He could only hope that he hadn’t screwed things up by letting his own insecurities drive a wedge between them.
17
Chapter
Rox finished up in the shower, running a towel over her hair. She stared at herself in the mirror and it was like looking at a different person. This person looked scared and vulnerable, but she guessed that was what happened when you loved someone. It gave them the power to completely rip you apart at a moment’s notice. Yet, they could also restore and repair parts of yourself that you didn’t even know were damaged.
That folder was like a bucket of ice water being dumped on her head. So many things she hadn’t ever wanted to talk about. So many things she’d hoped she would be able to forget, but she couldn’t erase her past. It was always there lurking beneath the surface. And sometimes it reared its ugly head and wrapped its hands around your neck and tried to kill you.
She dried herself off and went back into the bedroom. He had the low bedside lights on and she could see her pajamas laid out on the end of the bed. Sitting up, he sat on the end of the bed with his head down.
“I’m sorry I sprung that file on you. I had breakfast with Luc this morning and he really got inside of my head with a whole bunch of crap I had going on well before you. I let my insecurities about all of that turn what should have been a conversation we had when you were ready to talk into this big blow up.”
“If you had just come to me and talked to me first, I would have told you. Maybe not right then, but in time.” He’d been so quick to jump to ugly conclusions. That hurt her most. Without meaning to, he’d filled a part of her heart she hadn’t even realized was empty. When he sat there and called her a felon, doubted her feelings for him, he might as well have taken a knife and cut it out again.
“I know. It was a shitty thing to do. I think all this scared me.” He gestured at her side of the bed.
“All what?” Her moving in with him? He’d offered. Maybe she should go. Maybe it was time for her to stop being so scared to go back out there on her own.
“How happy having you here makes me. How the thought of you leaving and not being here with me makes my chest seize up like I can’t breathe.” He stood and walked over to her, cupping her face between his hands, lowering his mouth to hers in a tender kiss.
“You belong here with me, Rox and it scared me how easily and naturally it all happened. One day you were slamming down a plate full of the most delicious chocolate lava cake in front of me and the next you’re sleeping in my bed. When I have my arms around you, there’s no place I’d rather be.” The light she’d always been afraid to let shine too brightly on what they had couldn’t be contained as she smiled wide at him. He didn’t want her to leave, he was just as scared as she was. They were both trying to figure this thing out.
“It freaks me out too. You’re a wildcard in my life, Liam. I don’t get attached to things and people out of habit. The Bramble and Mark are the closest things I have to family, but I don’t like to get too close because I’m afraid of what might happen, but with you I didn’t have a choice. You were in there be
fore I even knew what happened. And I’ve never been happier.”
“I didn’t have a choice either and I didn’t have a choice when it came to loving you. I love you, Rox,” he said, giving her a searing kiss. She looked up at him, bewildered.
“You do?” He loved her? He loved her. When he said it her stomach didn’t turn. It filled with butterflies and she couldn’t hold back her grin. Liam loved her and she loved him, but could she get the words out?
“Of course, I do. How could I not? How could anyone not? And I’ll show you how much I love you right now.” He turned her around and backed her up until the backs of her knees hit the bed. He gently lowered her onto the bed and laid next to her. He caressed her cheek and ran his fingers through her hair.
Kissing the tip of her nose, he undid the towel around her and threw it off the bed. He peppered her neck and shoulders with kisses and worked his way back up to her mouth.
“Will you let me show you how much I love you?” He said, staring into her eyes. She couldn’t do anything except nod thanks to the ball of emotion sitting in her throat.
He cupped her breasts and placed a reverent kiss on each dusky peak before taking them into his mouth. The wetness from his mouth tightened her nipples even more. He ran his hands over her stomach and around to her waist, holding her still as she began to squirm. Once he finished his attention to her nipples, he pulled back to try to roll her over.
Rox resisted rolling to her back—she’d always been self-conscious about it.
“Let me love all of you,” he whispered, looking up at her. She let out the breath she’d been holding and closed her eyes. He rolled her over onto her stomach and the first touch of his mouth on her shoulder sent shivers down her spine.
“Every mark, every scar, every blemish is a testament to what you’ve survived. You’re one of the strongest people I know, Rox.” He ran his mouth across her shoulders before moving further down her back. He peppered his words with kisses. “You might hate these scars, but I see them as badges of what you’ve overcome. I wish my kisses could take them away from you, but I know that these have shaped you into the woman I love today. So, I cherish them. Never be embarrassed by them.”
With tears in her eyes, she nodded into the sheets. For so long she’d seen the scars as proof of how screwed up she was, like an outward manifestation of all the shit that was happening inside her head. Each one of Liam’s kisses unlocked something in her, making her less ashamed of her past and less afraid of her future. He stopped when he reached the small of her back, his chest resting on her ass. Running his hands up and over her back, he encouraged her back onto her back.
Moving back up her body, he cupped her face and turned it toward him. Wiping the tears away from her eyes, he kissed each eyelid.
“What type of tears are these?”
“A mixture, but mainly happy tears I’m here with you. That you’re choosing to be here with me.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, placing an almost chaste kiss on her lips. With all her emotions bubbling, Rox was happy with slow and gentle, but right now she needed something more.
“Now it’s my turn to show you how happy I am to be here with you,” she said with a mischievous glint in her eye. She pushed his shoulder back so he was lying flat. Keeping her eyes on him, she pushed his boxers down, and he was more than happy to help, lifting his butt up off the bed. She pulled them off completely, swinging them over her head and giving him a small chuckle. His smile beamed up at her as he laughed and shook his head.
“I was trying to be serious there.”
“I know, but now it’s time for some fun. I think you deserve it,” she said, slinging her leg over his and straddling his cock. The smile dropped off his face and the hunger was back in his eyes. She moved up until his cock was resting against her mound. He sucked in his breath as she began to rub him back and forth across her entrance. Taking him into her hand, she tapped his head on her clit, the wetness increasing by the second.
She placed him at her entrance and slowly lowered herself to take him inside. They both let out a moan as she moved up and down to take more of him inside of her. He placed his hands on both of her hips and slammed her down the final inches. A gasp escaped her mouth at the unexpected movement.
“Hey, I was taking my time.”
“And I couldn’t handle it anymore. Tease,” he said, while pumping his hips up, pushing himself even further into her. His hands gripped her hips even tighter as he continued to pump up into her, working against the bouncing Rox was doing on his cock. She leaned forward with her hands on his chest, giving each of his nipples a playful pinch. That had him bucking his hips up even higher and she held on as he pounded into her from below, while she ground on him from above. She was grinding her hips against him, hitting her clit with every move. She could feel the telltale tingle beginning in her toes as her entire body was electrified with the incoming sexual onslaught.
Perhaps sensing her imminent climax, Liam took one of his hands from her hip and moved it up to the breast. He pinched her nipple and gave it a small tug, a tug that traveled straight to her pussy, which was clenching his cock as she approached her orgasm. His hand wandered from her breasts down to her clit as he used his thumb to rub it until she squeezed her thighs on either side of his, heart racing and muscles tight as her orgasm rocketed through her. Everything went dark as the blood rushed from her head and her breathing stopped as the muscles all over tightened to where she thought she would shatter. Her jerky bounces continued until she could finally see and hear again.
He put his hands back on her hips and pumped into her two final times before following her into orgasmic bliss. He roared out his release, gripping her hips and holding here on top of him. His eyes snapped open, a lopsided grin spread across his face and he pulled her down to take possession of her mouth again.
“Do you believe me now?”
“Yes, I believe you,” she said breathlessly, resting her head against his chest.
“Good.” He shifted her over and pulled the covers over the two of them. He wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into him, fingers playing on his chest as she sank into a contented half-sleep. Her mind was sluggish as she thought about everything that happened tonight. Liam had said he loved her. It didn’t send those coursing waves of revulsion through her like it had whenever Jon said them. She hadn’t said it back. She was sure that it hadn’t escaped his attention, but he hadn’t pushed her.
She did love him, but saying the words was hard. Saying those words was something that Jon had made her do over and over again to try to prove her fidelity to him, whereas Liam saying it to her hadn’t made her want to puke like it usually did. It was the opposite, a brightness and lightness filled her chest when he said them to her. She didn’t know if she could say them back to him. In her heart, she knew how she felt, but saying those words out loud, words she’d had to say repeatedly until they melted into a mantra of mental pain…she didn’t know if she could do that.
Glancing up, she saw that he was asleep. His long, thick eyelashes curled up so perfectly and full. A five o’clock shadow was getting darker by the minute and his lips, those lips were magic. Even in sleep, he kept a strong grip on her, making her feel safe. Maybe she could work her way up to it. She reached up and ran her fingers along the scruff on his cheeks. Scooching up a little, she placed her lips on his.
“I love you, Liam,” she said, taking a deep breath and resting her head on his shoulder.
18
Chapter
Breakfast was a much lighter affair than it usually was. Rox wasn’t grumpy about being awake, she was up before him. And there was a smell coming from the kitchen that drew him to the kitchen by his nose. Kind of like those cartoons, the smell had him up on his tiptoes following it out of the bedroom.
Contrary to popular belief, chefs were not known for their cooking at home. Usually so beat after prep and lunch or dinner service, Rox was more than happy to ha
ve a bowl of cereal when she came home. And mornings were usually reserved for coffee and more coffee. It was a welcome sight to see her in the kitchen, looking so comfortable and relaxed. She had some music playing and was shaking her butt as she flitted from the counter over to the range.
Leaning against the living room entryway, watching her from across the open living area, Liam observed as she cracked eggs, poured ingredients into bowls, and checked on things in the oven. Unable to hold back anymore, he crossed the space to the kitchen and was rewarded with a bright smile.
“There you are, sleepyhead. I was wondering when you were going to get up.”
“The smell of whatever you’re cooking is the way I would love to wake up every morning.” Ah, the L-word. He’d said it last night with no expectation that she would say she loved him back, but he had hoped. It had been hard to push down his disappointment when she didn’t say it back, but he didn’t want to push her. And it seemed like she was trying to show him how much she cared about him after he’d said it. That could be enough—for now.
“I thought we deserved a hot breakfast after our day yesterday. I called in a couple of people to do morning prep, so we can hang out and chill, since I don’t need to be in until four.”
“And did you clear this schedule change with the boss?” he whispered.
“I think he’ll be okay with it,” she whispered back.
“What are you making?”
“Eggs benedict! If you’re going to have a hot breakfast, you might as well go for it.”
