Never Is A Very Long Time: A Romantic Comedy With Attitude (The Perfect Date Book 1)

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Never Is A Very Long Time: A Romantic Comedy With Attitude (The Perfect Date Book 1) Page 13

by Donna McDonald


  “Lift weights and you can be like me too,” Ann ordered, tugging on the arm she held.

  Georgia huffed before answering. “You’re just tormenting me because you don’t want to do this.”

  Not letting go because she knew better, Ann fisted her free hand on a trim hip kept that way by exercise and not being afraid of hard work. She glared for good measure.

  “Gee, you think? ‘Come over for a potluck. I’m throwing a food party.’ You tricked me into this, you big old fibber.”

  Humor kicking in finally—mostly because of Ann’s sarcasm—Georgia scrubbed a hand over her face as she laughed. “I’m sorry. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I figured it would be a lark we’d have a good laugh over.”

  “A lark, sure, but one I have no choice about now because my kids are ecstatic about me doing this. But don’t worry, I fully intend to have the last good laugh,” Ann said firmly, opening the door and shoving Georgia inside the posh interior. “I’m coming back to watch when Trudy Baxter has to deal with this makeover crap. She vowed never to put on makeup again.”

  Sighing because they’d been spotted immediately, Georgia plastered a smile on her face for the attendant who took their names and marshaled them into two stylist chairs. Within the hour, they were completely foiled and sitting under dryers. Both were getting manicures and pedicures when Mariah finally came through the door and clapped her hands.

  “Yay, you’re here. And I see things are moving along fast. Excellent.”

  “Yay, we’re both here…” both women said dryly, making each other laugh.

  Mariah rolled her eyes. “Stop whining, you two. You’re going to love the results. Manicure. Pedicure. Facial. Makeup. A new hairstyle. You two are getting the works. The image consultant will pick you up here, then it’s back to the office for your interviews. I left Della practically vibrating at the thought of making your videos this afternoon.”

  “Why do I have to make a video? I’m not a real client,” Georgia said in the flattest tone she could manage with Ann laughing from the chair beside her.

  “You need to go through the whole process with Anne so Trudy won’t be able to make you do it. Ann’s going to give you a lot less grief. Right, Ann?”

  Ann’s open snickering earned her the evil eye from Georgia and a grin from Georgia’s very clever daughter. She wasn’t sure why Mariah was using her to get Georgia to do this, but it was a lot of fun to see her friend squirming.

  “Yes. I only wanted some company to lessen the misery. Trudy would put Georgia in stilettos and a miniskirt to get even.”

  “Like hell,” Georgia declared, rolling her eyes when the other female patrons giggled about her loud swearing.

  Mariah smiled widely. “It’s okay, Mom. Della and I will make the whole process today as painless as possible. Except for the eyebrow tweezing… that always hurts.”

  The entire salon went silent when a tall, silver-haired man in a suit came through the door. Ann noticed he walked directly to Mariah who smiled wider with every step he took towards her. His one dimple appeared just before he glanced at Georgia and grinned widely.

  “Hey, Handsome,” Mariah said, reaching out a hand to pat his chest.

  John put a hand on her arm and kissed her cheek. “Been to the bank this morning. The house will be mine in two weeks, just before I go back to work. Still got a few routine inspections that have to be done to satisfy real estate laws.”

  Mariah bit her lip. “Guess you want an answer from me then, don’t you?”

  John glanced around. “We can talk later. I just wanted you to know things were going well.”

  Mariah smiled and rubbed a hand over his arm. “Good. That makes me happy. Need help moving out of your apartment?”

  Huffing out a breath, John ran a hand through his hair. “Uh… about that place. It’s not really mine. I just have to use it occasionally.”

  “I see,” Mariah said, patting his arm. “Well, that makes me happy too. That place was seriously a bachelor pad.”

  “Great bed though, huh?” His grin was wicked as he waited for her reply.

  Mariah laughed and nodded.

  “Okay. So I’ve got to run a few more errands. Will I see you later?” John asked.

  “Absolutely.” Mariah went up on her toes, meeting John’s lips as they came down to hers. It was a chaste kiss, but his possessive gaze never strayed from hers. The hungry look he gave her before leaving had all the women in the salon fanning themselves.

  Grinning over the unexpected show, Ann reached over and poked a gawking Georgia’s arm. Her friend luckily turned her way in time to catch her wink. She knew Georgia was nearly wilting in relief over her daughter’s new, and promising, relationship. She would feel exactly the same if either of her adult children had gone through what Mariah just had with her cheating ex-husband.

  “The man has a nice butt. Bet it looks extra good in jeans,” Ann whispered, gleefully giggling when Georgia rolled her eyes. What was wrong with her today? First, she was flirting with her handyman’s son. Now she was making dirty jokes.

  “Hey now, Ann Lynx. That’s my nice butt to stare at. Keep your eyeballs to yourself,” Mariah said firmly, narrowing her gaze on the two smirking older women. “I’ll find you a guy of your own to ogle soon.”

  Giggling once more, Ann rubbed her face, which now hurt from smiling. “I didn’t see your name tattooed on the man anywhere, Dr. Bates. Did you, Georgia?”

  “I have no idea what you’re yammering about,” Georgia denied—lying for all she was worth. “But if you think John looks good, wait until you see Hollywood. The guy is your age and dates twenty year olds. Loaded too. He’s a real looker if you can get past the ‘I’m a bad little boy’ thing he’s perfected.”

  Mariah turned her narrowed gaze to her mother. “Are you talking about Dr. Colombo?”

  “Some Doctor,” she said sarcastically, looking directly at Ann. “Man’s dumb as a box of rocks.”

  “Mother,” Mariah exclaimed. “Brent is far from dumb. He’s a brilliant plastic surgeon—top of his field actually.”

  Ann felt her freshly plucked eyebrows shoot straight up when Georgia snorted and waved that impressive factoid away with a hand now sporting brightly painted red nails.

  “Big deal. That just means Hollywood makes those plastic females he dates. It’s like he’s a grown man playing with dolls. Give me a break, Mariah.”

  “That’s a bit harsh,” Ann observed, meaning it as she stared at her angry friend. Why was Georgia so angry over what some random client of Mariah’s did for a living? Normally, the woman wouldn’t give a good flip. “Why are you being so mean?”

  “Mom likes him even though she doesn’t want to,” Mariah answered for her mother. “And from what Della told me, Dr. Colombo was extremely interested in Mom.”

  Georgia snorted as she looked away. “Hollywood was not interested in me. He was just being pushy and annoying. He’s as pretentious as his watch that cost more than my damn car. So no, I do not like him. He’s not my type of man at all.”

  Ann saw Mariah nod vigorously when her mother wasn’t looking. She also mouthed ‘really likes him’, which had her laughing behind Georgia’s stiff back. But it also had her giving her friend a more considering look.

  Georgia didn’t date either. Trudy and Jellica both had commented that the lack of a love life was changing Georgia’s personality as time went on. Her friend might benefit from having a properly interested man who wanted to soften those sharp edges. Georgia Bates was all hard shell on the outside, but inside she was a marshmallow.

  “Take a taxi to the office when you’re done with the image consultant. Della will meet you both downstairs with the fare,” Mariah ordered. “I have clients this afternoon, but Della will take good care of you.”

  “That would be a miracle since Della’s not even thirty yet. She can barely take care of herself,” Georgia declared dryly.

  Ann smiled warmly at Georgia’s now frowning daughter. It w
as obvious Georgia was treading on thin ice with such mean teasing. “We’ll be there,” she promised, trying to soothe the ruffled feelings.

  She hoped Mariah would show her a picture of the guy Georgia was complaining about. It would be very interesting to get a look at Dr. Brentwood Colombo, the first male she’d ever seen make a dent in the emotional armor Georgia never took off.

  It made her wonder what kind of man could dent hers.

  Chapter Three

  “Hi. My name is Ann Lynx and I’m fifty-three years old. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology which I’ve never used for any job. At the moment, I’m a semi-retired Medical Assistant who still does a little contract work when she wants. My hobbies are reading the classics, visiting with friends, and working out. I do yoga every day because I plan to be in great shape when I’m ninety.”

  Della smiled softly when she looked up from the camera’s display. “Now tell us something unique about yourself—something only your closest, most trusted friends know about you.”

  Ann laughed nervously. “Okay. You might want to pause while I think about that for a minute. I’m not that interesting a person.”

  Her shiny red lips felt like they were covered in six layers of goo as she smiled and she wanted to rub five of them off. The feeling was highly distracting. Della and Mariah had both approved the heavy makeup that had taken an hour for the esthetician to apply.

  “Let me see. Something no one knows about me…”

  Georgia cleared her throat discreetly and stepped away from the wall. She was standing behind Della and… what in the world was the crazy woman doing now? Georgia’s body leaned one way and then another. Luckily the blue dress with matching blue heels gave with each of her jerky movements. She stopped and glared directly at Ann, rolled her eyes, and then mimed doing a ballet pose.

  Dancing! Oh yes. God… Georgia was dancing. Or trying to.

  Laughing loudly at her slowness in figuring it out, Ann’s embarrassed smile finally appeared for the camera. “I belly dance. Well, actually… I used to teach belly dancing. It’s a great form of exercise. I never did it professionally, but my husband used to love it when I danced for him.”

  Her face fell as she winced. Wow. That came out without any filtering. She’d forgotten that she wasn’t talking to her friends.

  “Sorry. I’ve been a widow for a very long time and haven’t dated in a while. I guess it’s poor form to mention other men during your dating video, right?”

  Della grinned as she shrugged. “Honesty is always good. I’ll edit your answers… or ask for a retake if I need to. Don’t worry about it.”

  Ann nodded and made herself relax again. She looked beyond Della and saw Georgia leaning against the wall once more, this time doing her best and most serene Grace Kelly impersonation.

  Her friend was mercurial and intense and even a little bit unhinged at times. Why was Mariah was so calm and logical? She must have taken after her father—someone Ann had never met. She’d befriended Georgia Bates during a group grief counseling session for widows.

  “Tell us a little about your perfect match, Ann. What’s he look like? What does he do for a living?”

  “Are you serious?” Ann asked.

  Della nodded, grinning the whole time.

  Ann bit her lip, then hoped she hadn’t gotten lipstick on her teeth. No more smiling now, she decided. She hummed a bit as she thought. An image of a grinning Calvin Rodgers and his wide shoulders leapt into her mind. Maybe she did need to take this seriously. A long denied itch for sex was making a reappearance. Maybe she needed to find someone appropriate to scratch it.

  “I’ve never stopped to consider what my perfect match would look like. Liking the way someone looks is so subjective. No sane woman would ever kick a man she considered handsome out of her bed… I mean… out of her life. If I have to make a list, it would be more about who he is as a person. The perfect man would be funny with me, charming to strangers, and willing to help do the dishes after dinner. Those traits may not seem glamorous by today’s standards, but I know from experience they’re a gift in a real relationship.”

  When Ann ran down, Della smiled at her. “Anything else you want to add?”

  Ann took a deep breath. This was a chance to say the one thing she’d never had with any man she’d ever dated. This was probably her last and only chance to ask for what she’d like. She drew in another breath, smiling at the camera first.

  “I think it would be nice to date someone who loved his work with a sincere passion. Life is far too short not to do work you absolutely love. I think being happy with how you’re making a living automatically makes you a confident, happy, and very interesting person to spend time with. Is that okay to say?”

  “Yes. Anything is okay. I noticed you’re fairly tall for a woman. Can your perfect man be shorter than you?” Della asked.

  Ann laughed at the question, because behind Della, Georgia was rolling her eyes and then her whole head. Georgia and Trudy were tall too. Jellica was the only shorty in their group and the only one who got asked out on a regular basis. They’d often talked about their non-existent dating lives and laughed at the shortage of men taller than the three of them. Though she was not a big fan of them, this situation merited a white lie or at least a slightly varnished truth.

  “I’ve never thought about height really, but I would like a man who thought looking good for me was important. It would be hard for me to respect someone who didn’t care as much as I did about how he looked.”

  “That’s totally understandable. Any last words?” Della prompted.

  Ann let a relieved sigh escape. “It’s very strange to record yourself and your opinions in a video. I’m not sure how much of who I am will be shown through this recording. Nothing really substitutes for meeting face-to-face, does it? I guess that’s an old school dating sort of attitude.”

  Della finally stopped the recording. “It’s very reasonable. You’re going to find most of the men you’ll meet will feel the same way as you do. Most become clients because they’re tired of bar hopping and online dating sites where practically no one tells the truth. Mariah’s average for finding quality dates for people is very high. She has a real gift for matching up people who have genuine things in common.”

  Ann nodded as she stood. “Will I get to see the video before it becomes available?”

  “If you like,” Della said with a sly smile, “but we’re going to have to use it until we can do a second one, even if you hate it. The real purpose of the video is to show what you look like and share a bit of your personality. You came across great and not wooden at all, Ann.”

  Della tapped on her keyboard and then looked behind her. “Okay. You’re up next, Georgia. Have a seat.”

  Sighing in resignation, Georgia walked around a grinning Della. Ann giggled and pinched Georgia on the arm as she passed, making her friend swear at her.

  Georgia took the recording hot seat, crossing her glossed bare legs at the ankles to keep herself from bolting. Her chin lifted at a smirking Della busily adjusting the camera angle. She probably didn’t want to crop off the three hundred dollar hairstyle Mariah had paid for that morning.

  “Okay, Georgia. Start with your name and tell us a bit about yourself,” Della ordered.

  “I’m Georgia Bates. I’m sixty years old and can’t believe I let my daughter talk me into making this stupid video. Don’t get me wrong—Mariah is a brilliant woman and does excellent work for her clients. However, like every other adult child left with a single living parent, she likes to meddle in her mother’s life—in my life—under the pretense of getting me to take more chances,” Georgia finished dryly, making quote marks in the air with her red painted fingernails. “Frankly, I like my life as it is. I like myself. I do what I want, when I want, and I don’t intend to stop. THAT’s my idea of being happy.”

  Della bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. “So you’re not really interested in finding your perfect match? Or i
n dating?”

  Georgia frowned and glanced off. “I didn’t say that… not exactly.” She dug for honesty and found a little. “It’s just that I’ve become picky about men as I’ve gotten older. I can’t afford to play stupid games anymore. If I found someone that interested me as a man AND as a person, then of course I’d date him, or at least sleep with him. You’re not meant to marry every person you feel a passing fancy about. I’ve seen too many widowed and divorced friends make the mistake of marrying the first person they boi…”

  Ann’s indrawn breath was followed by a coughing fit of shock that she pretended to fight. Georgia’s glare at being interrupted had her biting her fist to stop all noise making. But where were Georgia’s filters? Didn’t she have any?

  “As I was saying…” Georgia continued, forcing herself to smile as she stared into the damn camera. “I don’t have time for games. No ego stroking. No mothering a man who can’t take care of himself. There’s only one reason to date someone. You date them because they’re interesting, fun, and they get your engine revving. I don’t see any reason not to just say that plainly. Not that I recommend casual bed hopping—because I don’t—but I do recommend cutting through the crap of trying to be something you’re not. That kind of thing always comes out in a relationship. Am I right, Dr. Livingston?”

  Della nodded. “You are exactly right, Georgia.” She paused then grinned. “What’s your perfect man like?”

  Georgia snorted. “There’s no such thing as a perfect man… or a perfect woman. There’s just two flawed people trying to get to know each other and that should be good enough. Flaws make a person interesting. I do find it hard to respect a man who doesn’t know what a freaking water shut off is under a toilet. Why would you ever cook dinner for someone like that? Personally, I have better things to do with my time.”

  Della burst out laughing and pressed the stop button. “Okay. I think we’re done. Or at least I am. Both your interviews were wonderfully refreshing.”

 

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