“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the hands she had folded in her lap. “You spent most of the night tossing and turning so I figured you could use the extra sleep.”
“Really?” I asked confused.
She nodded, “you must have been having a nightmare.”
I didn’t remember having one. “That’s weird,” I mumbled, more to myself then to her, “what time is it?”
She was blocking my view of the alarm clock so I couldn’t see for myself. “It’s almost seven.”
I groaned, no wonder Mason was screaming at us. I usually left the house by seven thirty and I hadn’t even taken a shower yet. I scrambled out of bed and grabbed my towel. Jane stood too and stopped me by placing her hand on my arm. “Evie, can I talk to you for a second?”
I wanted to tell her no, that there was not enough time for that, but the look in her eyes made me pause. “Sure.”
She sat back down on the bed and pulled me with her. When we were sitting, she didn’t let go of my arm, instead she ran her hand down the length of it and twined her fingers with mine. It wasn’t a terribly odd thing for her to do. I mean we had been friends for a lot of years and we held hands and hugged sometimes, but for some reason, this time it felt different and it was making me feel more than a little edgy.
“Last night was, um,” she started, but looked like she was struggling to find the right words.
“I know,” I interrupted. “It was crazy, I’m sorry that I got you involved in this mess.”
To my surprise, she shook her head. “No, it’s not that. I mean, it was crazy and I was a little freaked out, but that’s not what I want to talk about.”
I frowned, “okay?” I wasn’t sure what to say and by the way she sighed and leaned her head back, she was just as frustrated and confused as I was.
“It’s just that with everything going on we haven’t really been spending a lot of time together lately.”
So that was what this was about. I smiled and squeezed her hand. “I know, and I’m sorry. Things will get back to normal.” Whatever that was… “I promise.”
She let out her breath, relieved. “Okay, good. I’m sorry too. It’s just that I missed you. Spending the day with you yesterday, even though it was super crazy and a little scary, it made me realize just how much you mean to me.”
I hugged her and she wrapped her arms around me tightly, “You mean a lot to me too, Jane.”
She lowered her head toward mine, “I mean, I really missed you.”
It took me a few seconds to figure out where this was going. Before it could go there, I pulled away from her and backed up on my bed so fast that I fell off and landed on the floor. “Jane, what are you doing?”
She opened her mouth to answer me, but tears were already streaming down her face. She stood and started backing toward the door. “I’m such an idiot!” she cried before slamming open my bedroom door and storming down the hallway.
I sat there, dazed and confused for a few minutes after she left. That had not just happened, had it? I mean really, how could I have not seen that coming? Jane had been one of my best friends for most of my life. Had she always felt this way? Why hadn’t she told me?
Mason walked in and scowled down at me, “what happened to Jane?” When I didn’t answer, he came into my room and sat on the edge of the bed, “you’re going to be late for school, you know.”
I glared at him, “that’s the least of my problems.”
He held out a hand for me, and I grabbed it, letting him pull me up from the floor. We sat on the bed next to each other in silence for a few moments. Finally he slung an arm across my shoulders. “Want to talk about it?”
I shook my head, “not really.”
A few more minutes passed. “You know what? I think that it’s been far too long since you and I flaked out on our responsibilities.”
I raised my eyebrow, “meaning?”
He coughed into his hand, “meaning I think we are both too sick today for school or work.”
I smiled hugely, “I think that is the best idea you’ve had in a long time.”
He winked, “go take a shower and get dressed. I’m sick of this town, let’s take a drive and go somewhere different for the day.”
His words seemed to lift a burden off of my shoulders that I hadn’t even been aware I’d been carrying. A day of fun? No worrying? Did such a thing exist for us anymore? Jackson’s face popped into my head and I stubbornly pushed it to the back of my mind. I’m sorry Jack, I need a step away from all of this; just for a day. In my heart I knew that he would understand. There was only so much I could take and I was just about at that point. I needed to recharge; get things into perspective. With my parents, Jackson, everything going on at the Willows and now whatever was going on with Jane struggling for dominance in my thoughts, I was confused and frustrated.
“You’re on!”
An hour later and we were in my parent’s car heading away from Rocky Point; away from the mountains and away from the Willows. Just driving toward open land and sky was enough to take that weight off of me. It felt like freedom. A chance to just forget about everything and just be a seventeen year old girl.
Mason had the radio blaring. It was some rap station and although I didn’t really care for rap, it was fun to sing with him at the top of our lungs. From where we were located, the closest place that could be described as a city and not just some hole in the wall town, was Pueblo. It wasn’t the greatest place to go, but it had its perks. It took us about an hour and a half to get there. Lucky for us, the weather seemed to be on our side and the roads were all clear.
Driving through the streets of Pueblo, I began to envy the people I saw. What must it be like to live in a larger city? A city where everyone didn’t know you, where your past could be kept a secret, and your secrets remained private; a place to start over. The anonymity of such a place was a welcoming thought, one that warmed me from the inside out. But could I do it? Could I let go of the mystery I had left behind and pretend like it didn’t matter? Could I start over, reinvent myself, without knowing for sure if my baby brother was still out there?
“Whatcha thinking about?”
I turned toward Mason and smiled sadly, “just thinking about the benefits of living in a big city.”
He nodded, I knew that he completely understood where I was coming from. “It will get better Evie, you just have to trust me.”
I turned back toward the window. I didn’t know what to say to him. Too much had happened for me to believe that everything was figured out, that the truth had been found; but I knew that he wouldn’t want to hear it. In his eyes, things were exactly what they seemed and he had accepted that. It would hurt too much to change his mind now.
I sat up straighter when he pulled into the parking lot of a bowling alley. “Bowling? Seriously?”
He grinned. “Bet you can’t beat me!”
We raced into the building, laughing, just like when we were kids. Of course if felt strange, odd, because Jackson was missing, but I pushed that away and focused on Mason. I had been so wrapped up in my own misery for so long that I hadn’t stopped to think about how he must be feeling. Not only had he lost everyone and everything that I had, he had also given up school to stay home with me. Not everyone would do that. I was lucky.
Neither one of us was anywhere near a bowling pro, but after two rounds of joking and throwing a hot pink ball down the wooden lanes, I had the satisfaction of knowing that Mason really sucked. When the last frame was complete I threw my hands up into the air.
“In your face!” I teased him.
He ran to me and pulled me into a head lock. “You think you are better then me? Well I’m still stronger!”
I squealed and tried to break free, but he was right; he was stronger. “Okay, okay, you win!” I said through shallow breaths. He let go of me, but then pulled me closer into a huge hug.
“Love you, Evie.”
“I love you too.”
Still feeling silly and carefree, we decided to go to the mall. Having multiple stores to choose from was a luxury we didn’t have in Rocky Point and it fed my girlie side to just window shop and try on clothes. We didn’t buy anything, we didn’t really have the money for that, but it was super nice spending time with my brother and being able to just relax and have a good time.
“Hungry?” he asked after a few hours.
I shrugged, “a little.”
We left the mall and drove downtown. He pulled into the parking lot of a little pizza place. It was right on the Arkansas river that ran right through the downtown area of Pueblo. Even though it was winter, and freezing outside, Mason asked them to seat us in their covered porch area. There were heaters and fires blazing, so it was cozy without being as crowded as the dining room.
We looked at the menu briefly and then placed our order. I wrapped my hands around a warm mug of hot chocolate and smiled when the steam warmed my face. Mason was looking out toward the river walk, a wrinkle creasing his forehead. Part of me wondered what he was thinking about, the other part didn’t want to know. It found out anyway.
“I’m thinking about putting the house up for sale.”
My jaw dropped. “You can’t be serious.”
That I had just been thinking about starting over somewhere new that morning was beside the point. I hadn’t really meant it. I loved our house. It was where we grew up, it was home.
He sighed, “it’s too much Evie.”
I shook my head, “no. We can make it work. I’ll get a job if I have to.” I knew that I was being irrational, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to cry, I needed that outlet, but my eyes remained stubbornly dry once again.
“It’s not the money. It’s… it’s…” he ran his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated, “it’s the memories.”
The look in his eyes burned into my soul. I knew that it would haunt me. There were feelings and demons inside of him that I wasn’t a part of. That no one was. I knew those feelings. I had some of my own. They hurt. They killed. Still, I couldn’t bare the thought of losing the only home I had ever known.
"Mason, I just..."
I was interrupted when the waitress set plates of steaming food down in front of us. Everything smelled great, but I had sort of lost my appetite. It was like one after another blows kept coming at me. I couldn't even duck them if I tried. I was right in the line of fire and I suddenly felt very tired, like all of the energy had just seeped out of me.
"Is there anything else I can get for you?"
"No, thanks, I think we are all set." Mason said, smiling up at her.
"I'm ready to go home," I said, pushing my plate away as soon as the waitress was out of ear shot.
"Evie, come on, cut me some slack here. I'm doing everything I can and things just aren't getting any better for us, or for you."
I crossed my arms over my chest, "sure they are. I'm fine Mason. You don't have to worry about me."
He laughed, "whatever. You barely eat, you sleep all of the time, you are cut off from everyone, you hardly see your friends anymore," he was ticking them all off on his fingers, as if I didn't know all of this already. "It's like you hardly have emotions at all Evie, like you are one dimensional. It's like living with a zombie," his eyes began to water, "or worse, it's like I've already lost you too, like you're just as dead to me as mom, dad, and Jackson."
I felt my cheeks heating up, "you don't mean that," I whispered.
He lowered his head, "let's go home."
I waited while the waitress boxed up our food for us. I was silent while Mason paid the bill. In the car I stared out the window, refusing to even look at him after what he had said to me. Did he think I didn't realize I was a freak? Did he think I was happy that I had begun to wither away? Is that how he honestly saw me? Like a zombie?
Knots began twisting and balling up inside of my stomach. I rested my head against the cool glass next to me, but sleep eluded me. My thoughts kept snaking around through the past few months. My mind was my own worst company.
It was dark by the time we got home. My ears were buzzing from the silence. Mason had tried to blast the radio, he even played a few songs he knew I loved and nudged me, trying to get me to sing along with him, but I stayed stubbornly faced away from him. After a while he had stopped trying, turning the volume all the way down and just concentrating on the road.
I didn't even wait for him to get out of the car before I was running up toward the front door. At this point, I had nothing to say to him and the faster I got into the privacy of my own bedroom, the better. I didn't have my keys with me, but I refused to be standing there when Mason walked up, so I grabbed the spare house key that was hidden in a flower pot on the porch and let myself in.
When I was in my bedroom, I stripped down and through my clothes in the hamper before pulling on my jammies. I figured with all of the anger and resentment boiling inside of me I would be up all night. Lucky for me, I was wrong. My eyes drifted shut as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Chapter Ten
I bolted upright.
I knew the exact moment when my dream had became a nightmare. One second I was dancing with Remy, his arms wrapped tightly around me while his eyes smiled down at me. The next it was Sevren’s eyes that were looking into mine. It wasn’t that it was unpleasant in his arms; I didn’t know Remy any more than I knew him after all, but there was something in the way his eyes were drawing mine in, almost like he was devouring me with his eyes. Even now, awake, it sent shivers down my spine.
My alarm clock said that it was almost five. I still had a few hours before school, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. My mind was wired now. There was an electric charge in the air that was putting me on edge and I couldn’t pinpoint what was causing it. Maybe it was guilt. I had been so distracted with the thought of losing the house that I had forgotten all about the promise I had made to Remy. Weird that I was so concerned about someone I didn’t even know.
For some reason, I was drawn to my windows. The blinds were open on one of them and I stood in front of it looking out toward the woods. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that there were no lights turned on at Mr. Gates house. It reminded me that he was gone or missing; at least I figured he still was. It was rare for us to go so many days without seeing him.
On a whim, I decided to go and check on him. He was usually an early riser, so knocking on his door at five in the morning wasn’t an unthinkable idea. My boots were in the corner of my room and I hurriedly slid them on before creeping down the hallway. I didn’t want to wake up Mason. I grabbed my coat off of the hook by the front door and quietly let myself out of the house.
There was a frigid freshness in the air. Snow was coming. It was about time for a new layer to cover the one already laying on the ground. My boots crunched across the ground causing my feet to make indentions in the snow. It was the only sound in the otherwise quiet morning.
When I finally crossed over onto Mr. Gate’s yard, the first thing I noticed was that my footprints were the only ones. Since the snow was at least a few days old, it made me hesitate for a moment before continuing toward his porch. Maybe he really wasn’t home.
Taking a deep breath to counteract the uneasiness I was beginning to feel in my stomach, I tried jogging the last few feet to his steps. The crunchy snow made it difficult, but a few seconds later and I was there. Water had been dripping from the roof, causing the stairs to be coated with a thick sheet of ice. Knowing it would be hazardous, I took my time, holding on to the railing as I climbed the few steps.
There was no hesitation as I rapped my fist against his front door. Then I waited. The seconds ticked by, dread filling my stomach higher and higher. I knocked again; louder. This time I expected something to happen. Lights to come on, footsteps coming down the hall, at that point I'd have even appreciated cussing or yelling about the early hour. Once again there was
nothing.
I pressed my face up against the window next to the door, cupping my hands around my eyes trying to see inside. It was too dark. The more time passed by, the more I was certain that something was terribly wrong. I was almost choking on guilt for not checking things out sooner. Something had happened to him.
A twig snapped from somewhere behind me and I spun around, painfully aware that I was alone in the dark and more than a few feet away from the safety of my own house. I strained my eyes, my heart pounding in my chest, but as far as I could tell there was nothing out there.
"Hello?" I called timidly before clearing my throat. "Is anyone there?" I asked, attempting to sound tougher.
No response.
This is crazy. Go get Mason or call the police.
The voice inside of my head was sounding much more reasonable then the girl who had decided to walk to her neighbors house in the dark. I decided to listen to her. As fast as my feet would take me, I ran toward the steps leading down to the yard. I figured if I was alone and paranoid it wouldn't matter because no one would be there to see me. If my imagination held any merit, I figured that if I ran, I may have a fighting chance of getting to my house before whoever or whatever it was out there, got to me.
I hit the top step and my foot slid out from beneath me. In my rush to get away, I had forgotten all about the ice. I expected to fall. I expected to feel the slap of the wood against my butt as I fell on it. I expected to break my leg, my arm, hell even my neck. I expected all of those things. What I hadn't expected to happen, is what did.
"Whoa, slow down there honey."
Hands reached out faster than I could even see where they had come from, hot breath teased the hair on my neck before I even registered that I wasn't alone. A low male chuckle sent goose bumps up my arms before I even realized that I was being held in someone's arms far above the ground I had expected to fall on.
I gasped when I finally caught my breath and looked up into the dark eyes smiling down at me. I pushed at his chest, but that only caused his arms to tighten around me. "What are you doing here?"
The Willows Page 10
