by Ford, Linda
“I wasn’t in bed yet, so I came and helped settle Little Joe. He seemed to find Ma’s lullaby a comfort just like I always did. You remember how I hummed it for her at the end?”
Her pa nodded. “I remember.” Then he shifted his attention back to Colt. Did the man suspect his daughter had been too bold?
Colt resisted an urge to rub his chin, lest it make him appear guilty.
Becca clapped her hands in joy. “It’s only two more days until Christmas, and we are going to have a spectacular celebration.”
“What’s a celebration?” Marie asked.
Becca bent down to smile into the child’s face. “It’s when we have lots of fun to remember forever. But this celebration is for Christmas. Did you do special things for Christmas?”
Marie studied Becca’s face, reached out and touched her cheek. Then she slowly nodded. “My mama and papa would take us out to the woods, and we’d spread grain and stuff for the birds and animals. Papa said God made everything and—” She crinkled up her face. “I can’t remember the rest.” Her voice quivered.
Becca pulled Marie into her arms and patted her back. “It’s okay. You’ll remember when you need to. In the meantime, maybe you could help me with some of the things we like to do.”
Marie nodded. “What things?”
“Would you like to help me make sugar cookies?”
Marie smiled agreement.
“I help, too,” Little Joe yelled.
“Everyone can help.” Becca’s gaze invited Colt.
He didn’t indicate he understood her silent invitation, and gratefully took the cup of coffee Macpherson handed him.
Becca turned her attention to breakfast preparations, and they soon sat around the table.
Colt knew the routine now. Macpherson said grace. They ate. Then Macpherson read from the Bible and prayed. Colt found it reassuring. Maybe if he ever had a home of his own, he would do the same thing.
As soon as Macpherson finished, Colt pushed to his feet. “Got things to do,” he announced and hurried out the door.
He planned to finish Little Joe’s toy, but he had a lot more in mind, as well.
First, he went to the barn and took care of the chores out there. When he’d stated his intentions, Macpherson had thanked him for sparing him a trip out in the cold.
He spent longer in the barn than the chores required, finding peace in the company of the animals. Only his usual peace was fractured with long-buried, long-denied yearnings. If only he wasn’t who he was—a half-breed with no family—he might allow himself to think of the future. He could imagine Little Joe running to greet him every day, growing into a fine man. And Marie becoming sweeter and more gentle as she matured. He thought of how Becca held her and comforted her.
He bolted to his feet and rushed outside, hoping the cold would snap his thoughts back to someplace sensible.
His dreams could never come true.
He headed for the woodshed and chopped until his arms ached. Even then, he only stopped because Macpherson came to get him.
“Becca says to come. Soup is ready.”
Colt put the ax away and loaded his arms with wood before heading for the house. Macpherson carried in wood, as well.
The kids rushed forward as he entered, reminding him of the things he’d been struggling all morning to forget.
“We dec’rate cookies,” Little Joe said. “See.” He pointed to the cookies laid out on the cupboard. Each had a hole with a bit of yarn through it. Looked like Becca planned to hang them. No doubt part of her celebration plans.
Marie grabbed his other hand and led him to the display. “Becca says we can hang them to fancy up the place.”
Both children beamed with pleasure.
Pale green icing smeared on star-and-tree-shaped cookies. “They look nice.”
The children looked even happier than they had a moment ago.
“They did a very good job,” Becca said, and against his will, Colt’s gaze sought hers.
Every dream, every wish he’d ever had burst fully formed into his heart.
“Let’s eat.” Macpherson’s words jerked Colt back to reality.
Colt spun about, put Little Joe in his chair and took the one he customarily used. For two more days, then this time away from time would end.
Somehow he made it through the meal without paying undue attention to Becca, though he felt her every move, breathed her sweet scent with every inhalation and clung to every word.
“As soon as the children have their naps, we are going to make decorations,” Becca announced. “Colt, maybe you’d like to help.”
He shook his head.
“Please.” Marie’s voice seemed to indicate it was important to her.
“You help.” Little Joe had made up his mind, and the way he stuck his chin out, Colt expected he would cry if he refused.
He thought of the unfinished toy. He thought of escaping to the safety of the barn. His brain warned him he should put as much distance between himself and Becca as possible. But his mouth said, “I don’t know anything about making decorations.”
“Becca’s going to show us.” Seemed it was settled in Marie’s mind.
Colt didn’t have the heart to say no. Besides, he rather liked having an excuse to agree. “Guess I can help.”
While the children napped, he ducked out to the storeroom. Every thought warned him of the dangers of this situation. Except for a disobedient one in the attic of his brain that had become loud and impossible to dismiss. It shouted, This is what you’ve always wanted. Enjoy it.
He might as well listen to the loudest, most demanding voice and enjoy himself.
Even knowing he’d pay later did not quench his smile.
He worked on Little Joe’s toy, taking his time and great pleasure at cutting each tiny piece and smoothing it to perfection. He hoped Little Joe would get hours of pleasure from the simple object—and perhaps think of Colt with fondness in the passing months.
The door to the living quarters opened, and Marie said hello to Macpherson.
Colt quickly hid the toy behind a stack of goods and turned as she entered the room.
“We’re awake now.”
He smiled at the sleep lines on her cheeks. “You’re sure?”
A smile drove the lines away. “Little Joe is in a hurry to make things.” She reached for his hand.
As they stepped into the living quarters, Becca looked up and smiled.
Colt almost stumbled. Did she mean to be so welcoming? Or was it only good manners? Her fine upbringing? He informed himself he should look away. But he couldn’t. Seeing the warmth and welcome in her eyes made it impossible to think, to move.
“We ready,” Little Joe said.
Marie tugged on Colt’s hand. Slowly his world righted. He sucked in air and tried to clear his brain, with little success. He sat at the table and looked at the plain brown paper before them. Store paper. Nothing special about it.
“This is decoration?”
Becca chuckled. “Don’t sound so dubious. You’ll be amazed what we can create. First, we cut the paper into strips like this.” She cut several lengths an inch wide. “Then we weave them together.” She pasted two ends at right angles, then folded them back and forth. “Here, Marie, you do this one. Colt can help you if you need it.”
“I’m all thumbs.”
“Thumbs?” Little Joe bent over to study his hand.
Startled by how literal the child was, Colt shifted his attention to Becca, saw the amusement in her eyes, and they both laughed. When had he ever shared such simple, profound pleasures with anyone?
Never.
His joy cooled. When he left here, would he ever again experience this feeling of unity and acceptance?
Hi
s arms stiffened with the knowledge of what he’d miss when he had to go. He was unable to help Marie fold her paper. Thankfully, she managed on her own.
They continued to fold paper chains. As they finished sections, Becca glued them together.
“It’s like a paper snake,” Marie said, which brought a shriek of laughter from Little Joe. He grabbed the chain draping over the edge of the table and shook it.
“Snake.” He made gruff noises.
“A growling snake. How unusual.” Colt could barely contain his amusement.
Becca laughed. The infectious sound released Colt’s laughter.
Marie understood the joke and giggled.
Little Joe simply enjoyed the attention, and continued to shake the paper snake and make sounds more appropriate to a dog or bear.
Becca wiped tears from her eyes and leaned over to plant a kiss on top of Little Joe’s head. “You are so much fun.” Her eyes, round with pleasure, captured Colt’s gaze, inviting him, it seemed, to acknowledge shared joy in this little boy and his sister.
He smiled and nodded. No way he could pretend they weren’t a great pair of kids. But his enjoyment was bittersweet. Not many hours from now, he would say goodbye and turn them over to others. He wasn’t much for prayer, but every day he would ask God to bless and protect these children.
He had no one but himself to blame for the agony he knew he’d have to accept. He’d known from the start he should guard his heart against caring for the kids. And Becca. He’d tried. And failed.
Somehow he would endure the pain of saying goodbye—or die trying.
Chapter Seven
“Snake broke,” Little Joe said, about to cry.
Becca rescued the torn snake. “I’ll fix it.” She glued the battered pieces together. It didn’t matter that the chain was less than perfect. The children had enjoyed making it, and then playing snake with it.
She and Colt had shared laughter.
And something more. A deeper, heart-touching look. Sorrow intermingled her joy.
They’d enjoy Christmas, then they would part ways. She would take the children to the fort and leave them with a teacher who would give them shelter and hopefully much more. She’d go on to Toronto. Despite family and the crowds of people in the city, she knew she’d be lonely. Yet for her mother’s sake, she must do this.
She set aside the paper chain. “We’ll hang it over the windows and doors after the glue dries.” She pulled out pretty paper she’d saved from cards and gifts of the past year. “We can make little hangings from these.” She showed the patterns her mother had used over the years—balls, stars and bells. Sadness tugged at her throat. Christmas had been empty without her last year, but this year there was reason to celebrate, reason to do something special. There were two children and a lonesome man to give Christmas to.
A smile filled her heart and eased the sadness.
She showed them how to draw around the shapes on the colored paper. “Then we cut them out, and we can hang them up.”
“Where will we hang them?” Marie wanted to know.
“From the paper chain—”
“Snake,” Little Joe said, setting both children giggling.
Becca and Colt smiled at each other.
“Or we can hang them in the window.”
The door rattled. “Pa has customers.” There had been a few during the day.
Booted footsteps sounded on the floor. The muted sound of voices reached them. Then Pa opened the door. “Becca, we’ve got company.”
She looked up. “Eddie. Roper. Ward. Welcome.”
The three cowboys followed Pa into the room. He turned to Colt. “These men are from the Eden Valley Ranch I told you about. Eddie Gardiner owns the spread, and Roper Jones and Ward Walker are two of his ranch hands. Boys, meet Colt Johnson. He landed here with these two kids in the middle of the storm. They’ll be spending Christmas with us.”
Colt got to his feet and shook hands with the trio. He didn’t return to his seat, but backed away from the table.
She watched him as he studied the cowboys with narrowed eyes. What did he see? Eddie was pretty ordinary-looking—brown hair, brown eyes, a steadiness about him as if aware of his responsibilities and determined to fulfill them. Roper was more solidly built, with hazel eyes and also brown hair that was lighter than Eddie’s. Ward had black hair and blue eyes. They and others from the ranch came to the store often enough that she considered them friends.
Eddie stepped forward. “Cookie sent you this turkey and said to tell you Merry Christmas.”
“How generous.” She took the bird and put it in a pan. “Another way to make this Christmas special.”
“These are Zeke Gallant’s kids.” Pa introduced them. “He and his wife are gone.”
Roper jerked like he’d been jabbed. “They’re gone? But what will happen to the kids?”
“Becca is escorting them to the fort when she goes.”
She didn’t want this constant reminder that she would soon be leaving. “The stage isn’t running until after Christmas, so we are going to give these kids the best Christmas ever.”
Roper twisted his hat round and round, his eyes dark with emotion. “I grew up in an orphanage. Sort of know how Christmas is often overlooked in places like that. Boss, if you’ve a mind to let me, I’d like to help make the day special for these two.”
“Good idea,” Eddie said. “We’ll all help.” He glanced about. “I see you could use a Christmas tree. We’ll get you one. Anything else?”
Becca hadn’t considered a tree. It had never been part of their celebrations.
Roper gave a snort that was half laughter, half mockery. “See, boss, that’s the difference between people like me and people like you. I was thinking maybe an orange, though I don’t know where I’d get one. Or maybe a new pair of socks. You’re thinking trees and likely other gewgaws and trinkets.”
He and Ward jostled each other in amusement.
Eddie shrugged, unaffected by Roper’s observation. “A tree is part of our tradition. We’ll get one and bring it tomorrow.”
Pa clapped Eddie on the back. “Most generous of you.”
“You’re welcome to stay overnight tomorrow and enjoy Christmas day with us,” Becca offered, knowing Pa would approve.
Roper brightened. “What do you say, boss?”
“If Cookie agrees. We don’t want to be in her black books.” He headed for the door. “But for certain we’ll be back tomorrow. Good day.”
Pa followed them out and closed the door behind them.
“I should leave,” Colt said.
“No go.” Little Joe let out a wail of distress, and Marie looked ready to cry, as well.
Becca bolted to her feet, and went close enough to Colt for him to hear her above Little Joe’s cries.
“You can’t go before Christmas. You gave your word. How can it be a good Christmas if you leave?” With a start, she realized she didn’t mean for the kids, but for herself. “Besides, why would you go?”
“Those men—”
“What do you think they’re going to do?”
He looked everywhere but at her. Little Joe threw himself against Colt’s legs. Colt picked him up and pressed him to his shoulder. The boy’s cries subsided.
“How can you even think of leaving them?” she murmured.
His fiery gaze lit on her. “What choice do I have?” He stepped past without giving her a chance to answer, and put Little Joe down to play with the toy horse. “You two stay with Becca. I have something to attend to in the store.”
Little Joe wrinkled up his face, set to cry again.
“I’ll be right next door. I’m not going anyplace else.”
“You sure?” Little Joe asked.
“I’m
sure.”
“Okay.”
Becca stared after him. He certainly got all nervous when there were others around, but at least he seemed committed to staying. Just as she was committed to giving him a Christmas to remember, and...
Her thoughts stalled and slowly, almost reluctantly, she finished the idea.
She’d prove to him that others were prepared to accept him.
God, help me. He needs to know You love him, and others will, too, if he gives them a chance.
Before Colt could escape, Pa opened the door, forcing Colt to step aside.
“Becca, have you got coffee and some of those biscuits from breakfast? Russell showed up. He’s cold. Come on in and get warm.” He waved to the man behind him.
Colt shifted back to where the children played.
Russell entered, a whiskered man, short and stocky. His nose was red from the cold. Frost clung to his whiskers, melting and dropping to the front of his buffalo-hide coat. He nodded a greeting at Becca, but his eyes never left the table as she set out a plate of biscuits along with butter and jam. He didn’t even glance around the room.
“Much appreciated, Miss Becca. Just got back to town. I’ve been out of ’baccy for two days.” He settled himself and waited only until Macpherson sat down across from him to take two biscuits, which disappeared in four bites.
“You sure do make the best biscuits.” He drank a long gulp of coffee, set the cup down and sighed.
“How did you folks weather the storm?” Russell glanced about for the first time, saw Colt and the children and jerked back. “What are they doing here?”
The way he screwed up his face and puckered his lips, Becca half expected him to spit a brown stream of tobacco on her floor. He swallowed hard, and his eyes narrowed to slits.
Pa answered the man’s questions. “Our guests. This is Colt Johnson. The children are Marie and Little Joe. You might remember Zeke Gallant? These are his kids. Zeke and his wife have passed on. Colt found the children and brought them here.”
Both children drew back, and Marie clung hard to Little Joe.
Russell snorted. “Should have left them to starve. Would have done us all a favor.”
