by Ford, Linda
“They deserve a home where they know they are loved. You and I can give them that.”
As soon as she said it, she knew it was what she wanted more than anything. She loved the children. She loved Colt—whether or not he would accept it.
“It’s the perfect solution.”
He shoved back, but remained seated. He opened and closed his mouth twice, swallowed hard and shook his head. “What are you suggesting?”
“We can get married and give these kids a home.”
“Miss Macpherson, that can never be.”
When had she gone from being Becca to Miss Macpherson? “It can be if we decide it can.”
“I will never marry a white woman.”
His rejection stung. “Why not? There’s no law against it.”
“Perhaps not a written one.” He clamped his mouth shut.
“Mr. Johnson, you know what your problem is? You’re afraid to let anyone love you. You shove them away so they can’t shove you away first. But I’m begging you to stay, and yet you’re still running away. Colt, you’re going to run out of people to push away and places to run and end up a lonely, bitter hermit. Is that what you want?”
He rose slowly to his feet, all expression erased from his face.
“I need to check on my horse. I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning.” He strode toward the door, not wasting time, his posture saying he didn’t care what anyone thought.
“Colt, there are some things harder than not having a past. Such as not having a future.”
“Haven’t you forgotten something?” He paused, but she couldn’t think what he meant. “Your promise to your ma to go back east.” He left without a backward look.
She hadn’t forgotten. But she wanted to stay.
What was she going to do?
Chapter Nine
Colt stumbled from the room. If only it was possible. Becca obviously loved the children. Her pa was kind enough to them. If she would keep them, it would be wonderful.
But to expect him to marry her!
The woman was blind if she thought others didn’t see his mixed heritage.
Hope forced itself forward. She didn’t seem to care about it. If only—
But how could Becca be so naive? Who would allow a man like Colt to make the kind of plans she suggested? He hurried to the barn and the safety of the horses. He couldn’t go back to the house and the forbidden offers of love, acceptance and family, so he grabbed a couple of saddle blankets and hunkered down in the barn for the night.
The neighing of a horse wakened him, and he stretched and yawned. A glance out the door revealed the promise of a warm day. He looked at the sky. Not a cloud anywhere. That was good, he assured himself. It meant the stagecoach would travel. Becca and the children would be on their way. He would leave as soon as he saw them depart.
His useless wishes of the night before vanished in the reality of daylight. Becca didn’t mean what she said about them making a home for the children. It had been only idle conversation. She was leaving for Toronto, and a life more suited to a beautiful white woman.
Macpherson poked his head around the corner. “So this is where you spent the night. Is Marie with you?”
“No. She was asleep with Little Joe when I left.”
Macpherson jerked back. “Then where is she?”
“She’s inside. You must have missed her.” The men hurried to the living quarters to reassure themselves she was there.
Becca waited just inside the door, her hands twisting in her apron. She glanced behind Colt as he stepped in. When she didn’t see the little girl, she met his look, her eyes wide with concern.
“She wasn’t here when I got up. Little Joe doesn’t know where she is.”
“Marie gone,” Little Joe said, as if to confirm this information.
Alarm skittered up Colt’s spine, and he hunkered down in front of the boy. “Where is she? Do you know?”
He shook his head, and his eyes welled with tears.
“Don’t cry. We’ll find her. She’s likely found something in the store to amuse her.”
He joined Becca and her father at the doorway.
“I already checked the store,” Becca whispered. “And every inch of this place. I can’t find her. I hoped she was with you.”
“Let’s have another look.” Macpherson headed into the store. “Maybe she’s playing a little game.”
Colt scooped Little Joe into his arms. “You can help us find her.” They called her name. They searched every corner. They looked in the new storeroom. Then he and Macpherson left Little Joe with Becca and searched the barn and woodshed out back. No sign of her.
“She can’t have disappeared,” Macpherson said, as the three adults sat around the table to plan their next move. Thankfully, Little Joe had allowed them to reassure him and was contentedly playing with the toy horse.
Becca gave Colt a look that was both beseeching and accusing. “Where would you go if you were four years old and afraid of being sent somewhere you didn’t want to go?”
He knew what she meant. He’d been in Marie’s situation. What had he done? “I suppose she might have headed back to their home. Or—is there an Indian camp nearby?”
Macpherson answered his question. “There are some up in the hills, but how would she know that, and besides, how could she hope to get there?”
Colt shrugged. “She’s a strong-minded young girl. She might plan to walk. But I honestly have no idea where she’d go. Before we consider the Indian camp, we need to talk to folks living nearby and ask if anyone’s seen her.”
Macpherson was already on his feet. “Becca, you stay here with Little Joe. Colt, you go south. I’ll go north.”
Half an hour later they both returned without Marie. Colt’s stomach bucked like an angry horse. Macpherson and Becca looked as concerned as he felt. Becca held Little Joe tight, perhaps as much for her own comfort as for his. Colt ached to pull them both into his arms and promise them everything would be okay. But he couldn’t give such assurances, and he didn’t mean only in locating Marie. He couldn’t offer them what they needed, even though Becca had suggested he could. “I’ll ride out and see if I can track her.”
He returned the direction he had come several days ago. Why had Marie run off? It wasn’t like she had any place to go. As he rode, he searched the trail for signs of her. Half an hour later he leaned over the saddle. “Horse, do you see that? A little girl’s footprint.” She’d been this way. “Likely she’ll go back to the cabin that’s been her only home.” He rode on, catching more footprints to indicate she’d come this way. And then he saw her, seated on a log beside the trail, her knees drawn up to her chest and her head buried in her hands.
“Marie,” he called.
She looked up, her face streaked with tears.
He dropped from his horse and ran toward her.
With a glad cry, she raced for his arms.
He swept her into a big hug. “Are you okay? I was so worried.”
“I kept thinking if I walked and walked, I would get back home and everything would be like it was before.”
He sat on the log she’d vacated and rocked her. “You know it can’t be. You have to look forward, not back.”
The words sounded so much like what Becca had told him.
It’s harder to not have a future than to not have a past.
Marie pushed back to stare into his face. “Why don’t you like us?”
“I like you fine.”
“If you liked us, you wouldn’t leave us.”
The words said everything he’d been denying, everything Becca had been telling him. Likely she thought the same as Marie—if he left, he would be abandoning them and his only chance to fill the emptiness in his heart that called
for love and family.
He faced a choice. Likely the hardest one he’d ever had to deal with. He could ride away and continue to live in self-imposed loneliness because of rejection he’d faced over his mixed heritage. Or he could trust God’s opinion. Believe He saw not the color of a man’s skin, but the condition of his heart.
On that knowledge he could accept the future Becca offered. She had made it plain as water she didn’t care about his heritage. Was he willing to believe it? Was he brave enough to confess his love?
But even if he was, it wasn’t possible. Becca intended to go east. He knew he and the children couldn’t be part of her plans.
But he could not let her go without admitting what he’d been fighting since her first smile. He loved her. Her love had mended the tears in his heart and made him believe in the future. A future shared with her.
How long did she plan to be gone? He would wait for her to return.
In the meantime, he’d find a way to keep the children. Smiling, he said, “We better get you back to town. Becca was awfully worried about you. Her pa, too.”
“I wish I could stay with them.”
“I know you do.”
Yet surely Becca had remembered her vow, and was already regretting suggesting they make a home for the children.
* * *
Becca watched out the window.
“There’s nothing to do but wait for Colt to return,” Pa said.
Becca glanced over her shoulder at Little Joe playing happily. She wished she could hold him, but he’d grown tired of her tight grasp. She did not want to let go of either of the children. She didn’t want to see Colt ride away. She didn’t want to go to Toronto.
“Pa, these children belong here.”
Pa hurried to her side. “What are you saying?”
“I love them. I think you do, too. At the fort they might not be treated well.”
“I can’t take care of them. I run a store.”
“Pa, why did Ma want me to go east?”
He looked out the window, though she suspected he didn’t see the view outdoors. “She was afraid you’d never find a suitable mate out here. She wanted you to find a man who had more to offer you than an uncertain future in the West.”
“But isn’t love worth facing such things?”
He smiled. “I’ve always thought so.” He sighed heavily. “Your ma only wanted you to be happy.”
“This is where I am happy,” Becca said. “This is where I belong.”
Knowingly, her pa asked, “Even if Colt won’t stay?”
Her heart gave a strange little jolt. She smiled shakily. “I hope he’ll see he belongs here, too. But even if he doesn’t, I know I do, and so do the children. You and I could raise them if Colt refuses.”
Please help him to find Marie safe and sound. Please, God, don’t let him ride away.
Her pa shook his head. “We promised your ma.”
“But I think she would want me to follow my heart. Do what I know is best for me and for you, the children—even Colt.”
His brow furrowed. “I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to.”
“I know, but your approval is more important to me than your permission.” She waited as he fought an inner struggle.
“I’ve watched you since Colt and the children showed up. I saw this happening and tried to prevent it.”
“Perhaps this is what my whole life has prepared me for.”
“That sounds like something your mother would say.” He nodded slowly. “I have a feeling she would approve of your decision.”
“Oh, thank you, Pa.” She flung herself into his arms and hugged him, then she returned to her post at the window, hoping...praying...to see Colt returning with Marie.
“Pa.” Excitement made her voice high. “A rider. It’s Colt—and he’s got Marie! Praise God.” Tears clogged her throat so she couldn’t continue.
She rushed outdoors. As soon as Colt got close enough, she reached up for Marie. “My sweet child. I am so glad to see you.” She kissed the top of Marie’s head a dozen times.
Colt swung down from his horse.
Only then did she allow herself to meet his eyes, and her heart missed a beat at the look in them.
“Saw the stagecoach coming.”
She nodded without moving.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready to leave?”
“I’m not leaving.” She set Marie on the ground. “Honey, run in and see my pa. He’s been worried about you.”
Colt waited until Marie closed the door behind her to speak. “I thought I heard you say you weren’t leaving.”
“I did. I have what I need and want right here.”
“What about your promise to your ma?” His guarded gaze searched her.
“It was given out of guilt and asked out of misunderstanding. Ma thought I needed to meet people like those who live back east. But they aren’t my kind of people.”
“Who is your kind?”
“Strong individuals who face all sorts of challenges and remain noble and true.”
“Like your pa?”
“He’s not the only one.”
Colt swallowed hard. “Oh?”
“You’re one of those men.”
His eyes spoke volumes—hope and doubt combined. “What about Russell Thomas and people like them?”
“We might not be able to change Russell’s opinion, but we can prove to others that this is the new West, and there are new rules of acceptance.”
He continued to study her without responding.
“I’m staying with or without you. Those children deserve a home with people who love them. But I hope I don’t have to raise them alone.” She’d never be alone. Pa would help her, but that wasn’t what she needed. She needed a man of her own to love and cherish her as she meant to love and cherish him.
“Did you mean it when you said we should raise the children together?”
“Indeed, I did.”
“I believe a marriage should be based on love.”
“So do I.”
“Are you saying...?”
She nodded. “I love you, Colt Johnson.” Her heart beat faster at the look of bewilderment on his face. It was replaced by disbelief, then finally, joy.
He pulled her into his arms with a shout of joy. “I have found here everything I’ve always wanted.”
“Children?” she teased, all the while aching to hear the words.
“More than that. A woman who loves me, though not near as much as I love her.”
She leaned back. “Say the words.”
He smiled, his dark eyes full of emotion. “Becca, I love you now and forever.”
And then, at long last, he lowered his head and captured her mouth in a kiss full of promise and love and everything her heart had ever dreamed of. She wanted the kiss to go on forever, but Marie’s giggle at the doorway made them stop.
Colt grinned down at her. “We’ll continue this later.”
She nodded, her eyes brimming with happiness. “Let’s go tell them the good news.”
Epilogue
Spring
Colt stood in the street in front of the store. Becca and the children were in the wagon. His horse was tied behind.
Macpherson, who insisted on being called Grandpa now, went to the wagon, another parcel in his hands.
“This order came in on the stagecoach yesterday. New books for the kids.” He handed it to Becca, who leaned down to kiss her pa.
“Thank you, Pa.”
Colt heard the tears in her voice. He’d spend some time later comforting his wife. More than once, he’d offered to stay in Edenvale, but Becca was insistent they needed to start their own life.
When Eddie Gardiner heard that Colt wanted to settle down and start a ranch, he’d pointed out the availability of land not far from the Eden Valley Ranch.
“Our own land. Our own home.” She’d hugged him.
“Guess the wages I’ve never spent were meant for this.” Colt had hugged Becca as they agreed to buy the land.
Now they were loaded and ready to start their new life. A dozen people gathered in front of the store.
Becca smiled down at him. “Looks like our friends have come to wish us goodbye.”
It was more than Colt thought possible. Not everyone was willing to be friends. Old Russell Thomas hadn’t relented in his opinion, but he had to have his tobacco so he kept his thoughts to himself.
Six cowboys from the Eden Valley Ranch rode down the trail toward them.
“We’ve come to help you move,” Eddie said.
Colt shook hands with Macpherson. “I’ll take good care of her and the kids.”
“I know you will. Don’t be a stranger.”
“We’ll visit often, and I hope you do the same.”
He climbed to the wagon seat and took the reins.
“Goodbye,” everyone called as they drove away.
The cowboys rode behind the wagon.
Becca leaned close and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. “I am so excited.”
Colt kissed the top of her head. “I have what I always wanted and never dreamed would be possible.”
She turned her face toward him. “Tell me.”
“A woman to love. A home and a family.” He turned to pull the children up beside them. “We are so blessed.”
With his arms about his family, they headed west to their new home.
* * * * *
Dear Reader,
I’m wondering what it says about me that I often write stories like Colt and Becca’s—stories about injustices and strong characters who confront and conquer these issues. I hope at the very least it says I’d like to right wrongs, that I’d stand up to injustice and fight for the underdog.
And what better time than Christmas to let Becca and Colt face one of society’s ills and find their own solution?
