“All right, perhaps in all of Britain.”
“Kiss me, Joan.”
Her mouth was red and swollen with his kisses, and yet again she leaned up against him without an instant’s hesitation, and he saw the need in her beautiful eyes, felt the slight trembling of her mouth as his tongue slid between her lips.
When her tongue was warm in his mouth, his fingers suddenly dipped lower. His middle fingers pressed inward, hot as the devil against the light lawn of her nightgown. She thought she’d leap from his lap.
“Let’s get you out of this damned thing,” he said, feeling the soft material dampen beneath his fingers. He brought his fingers to her lips and gently pressed against them. “That’s the taste of you, Joan. It’s very nice, don’t you think?”
She could but stare at him. Slowly, she nodded. He straightened her and pulled the gown over her head. He sat her there on his thighs, the firelight glowing behind her, her breasts in profile to him and her narrow waist and her flat belly. He’d never in his life seen a more beautifully made woman. And she was all his. His hands trembled and he flattened them to his thighs. No, he would hold control. He wouldn’t frighten her, ever again. He would hold to his plan, but it was difficult, damned difficult.
He leaned his head against the chair back. The old leather creaked comfortably under the pressure. “What would you like me to do, Joan?”
“I want you to kiss me some more.”
“Where?”
He heard her breath suck in sharply. “My breasts,” she said, lightly stroking her fingers over his chin. “You’re still clothed, Colin. That isn’t fair.”
“Forget fairness for the moment,” he said, gently clasping her arms and pulling her against him. He wasn’t about to let her see him naked. It would probably make her forget her passion. It would probably scare her out of her mind.
“I think your breasts can wait a bit,” he said, and, still careful not to touch her anywhere that would make her tremble and shudder, he kissed her mouth, and again and then once more, his hands cupping her face, his fingers sliding through her hair, holding her head still for him. When she was squirming against his thighs, very lightly he cupped her left breast in his warm palm.
“Oh!”
“You’re quite nice.” His knuckles were rubbing lightly over her nipple. “Lie back against my arm.”
She did, staring up at him. She watched him lean down even as his arm brought her upward, and when his mouth closed over her, she nearly yelled with the power of it. He smiled, tasting her sweet flesh, quivering himself, but experienced enough to keep it from her. His sex was hard as a stone and he wanted her very much, so much that he considered briefly just carrying her to the bed, and coming into her. Surely she was ready for him now. But no, he was a fool even to consider it for a moment.
He stopped himself and kissed her breast, fondling her with his fingers and his tongue until he knew she was very ready for him. His hand flattened on her belly and he felt the muscles tighten. “Now, I want you to close your eyes, sweetheart, and just picture in that lively mind of yours what my fingers are doing.”
He didn’t hold back now. His fingers found her quickly and he began a rhythm that was at once deep and gentle, light and urgent. She had no chance to object, no chance to feel embarrassed. All she could do was feel how her body was jerking, her legs clenching, then opening to him, and he saw those feelings clearly on her expressive face. She stared up at him, her eyes vague and bewildered. “Colin,” she whispered and ran her tongue over her lower lip.
“Come along now, Joan. I want you to think about what my fingers are doing to you. I’m going to kiss you and I want you to let yourself go and cry out in my mouth.”
At that moment, he eased his middle finger into her and nearly cried out himself at the wondrous feeling of her. He kissed her as if he would die without her and he wondered vaguely in those moments if it wasn’t true. His fingers were on her swelled flesh again, stroking her, caressing her until she stiffened and pulled back. He looked at her face and smiled at her, painfully. “Yes, sweetheart. Come to me now.”
She did, from one moment to the next, she was gasping, her legs stiff, such sensations pulsing through her that she couldn’t begin to understand what was happening to her. Whatever it was, she prayed it would never stop. It was so strong and so deep and he was there, staring down at her, that smile in his eyes, and he was saying again and again, “Come to me, come to me . . .”
The feelings crested, flinging her into a world that was fresh and magical, a world that held her now and would never release her. She quieted. His fingers quieted, soothing her now, no longer inflaming her.
“Oh goodness,” she whispered. “Oh goodness, Colin. That was wonderful.”
“Yes,” he said and there was both pain and immense pleasure in his voice and he never stopped looking at her, and now he leaned down and kissed her, softly, lightly. Ah, the bewilderment in her Sherbrooke blue eyes, and the vagueness and the excitement. It pleased him, pleased him to his soul.
Sinjun drew a deep breath. His pleasure, she thought. He hadn’t received any pleasure from her. Would he hurt her now? Oh no, he wouldn’t ever hurt her again. But his pleasure . . . Her heart slowed. Her eyes fluttered closed. To Colin’s chagrin and amusement, she was asleep in the next moment.
He held her for a very long time in front of the warm fire, looking down at her, then into the dying flames, and wondering what this woman had done to him.
When Sinjun awoke the following morning, she was smiling. A silly smile, one that was absurdly content, one that held only one thought, and that thought was of her husband. Of Colin. God, she loved him. Suddenly she stilled and the smile slid off her face. She’d told him she loved him, loved him from the first moment she ever saw him, and he hadn’t replied. But he’d given her such pleasure that she’d wondered even as she prayed it would never end if she would die from it.
She’d told him she loved him and he’d said naught.
Well, she’d been a fool, but she didn’t care. It seemed ridiculous to her now that she would hold back anything from him. He cared for her, she knew that. Now he knew that she loved him. If it gave him power over her, then so be it. If he used the power to hurt her, so be that as well.
She was herself. She couldn’t change. She was a wife, Colin’s wife. God had given him to her; she would never hold back from him. He was, quite simply, the most important person in her life.
Still, when she entered the Laird’s Inbetween Room some forty-five minutes later for her breakfast, she felt flushed and nervous and embarrassed. Colin was there, seated at his ease at the head of the table, a cup of coffee in his hand, a bowl of porridge in front of him, a curl of heat rising from it. The bowl sat on a beautiful white linen tablecloth she’d bought in Kinross.
Her brothers weren’t there. Neither of the wives was there. The children weren’t there. Neither Aunt Arleth nor Serena was there. There was a bloody castle full of people and they were alone.
“Everyone finished thirty minutes ago. I’ve been waiting for you to come down. I didn’t think you would appreciate a full table.”
Was that ever the truth, she thought, pinned a smile to her mouth, and walked in, head up.
He grinned at her like a wicked potentate. “I thought perhaps you’d want to speak to me about how I made you feel last night. In private, naturally. I thought perhaps you’d be disappointed because I only brought you to pleasure one time. I’m very sorry you fell asleep, Joan, but I was too much the gentleman to wake you and force you to climax yet again. You’ve been ill, after all, and I didn’t want you to have to feel too much like a wife all at once.”
“You’re very kind, Colin,” she said. She met his eyes and she flushed. He spoke as boldly as did her damned brothers. She never colored up like a silly chit when they were outrageous. She willed her tongue into action; her chin went up. “I’m not disappointed, husband, but I did worry about you. You were too kind. I told you, I would b
e your wife, but you didn’t allow me to give you any respite.”
“ ‘Respite,’ ” he repeated. “What a gloomy word to use for screaming, thumping sexual pleasure. ‘Respite.’ I must mention that to my friends and see what they think.”
“I would that you not do that. It is a rather private matter. Very well, I will take back ‘respite’ and be more like my brothers. I’m sorry you didn’t have any sexual screaming, Colin.”
“That’s better. What makes you think there was no pleasure for me? I watched you climax, Joan. I watched your eyes get bluer, if that’s possible, then grow dim and vague and it was quite charming. Indeed, I felt your pleasure, for you were trembling beneath my fingers and moaning and when you made those cries in my mouth I assure you I wanted to howl with masculine pleasure. Along with you.”
“But you didn’t,” she said, slipping into her chair.
He gave her a look that was completely unreadable to her and said as matter-of-factly as a fifty-year husband, “Should you like some porridge?”
“Just toast, I think.”
He nodded and rose to serve her. “No, remain seated. I want you strong again.”
He poured her coffee and set her toast in front of her. Then, without warning, he grasped her chin in his hand and lifted her face. He kissed her, long and hard, then very gently. When he released her, her eyes were vague and dazzled and she was leaning against him, her arms loose at her sides.
“Philip told me he would forgive you for lying to him if you asked him nicely,” he said, and walked back to the end of the table. “It appears he understands you very well. He said that you would walk through fire to save me, thus a lie was nothing if it served your cause in serving me.”
She stared at him. Philip was a smart boy. She continued to stare at Colin, at his mouth. A word of affection would have been nice, she thought. Perhaps an endearment. Perhaps an acknowledgment that he was touched that she loved him. She tasted him on her own mouth. She just looked at him helplessly, all that she felt on her face.
He gave her a pained smile that vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Eat, Joan.” His expression remained unreadable, the sod.
She chewed on her toast, wondering why God, in his infinite wisdom, had created men to be so very different from women.
“I also wished to tell you that I intend to question Aunt Arleth this morning. If she was the source Robert MacPherson claims told him I killed Fiona, then I will get the truth out of her.”
“Somehow I can’t believe it was her. But she does cherish an amazing dislike for you. But then again, she heartily disliked Fiona. It was only your father and your brother she loved, if I understand what worked its way out of her mouth. Actually, Aunt Arleth makes little sense at the best of times. Remember all her talk about a kelpie being your father? She’s very strange.”
“It doesn’t matter. Once I’ve either confirmed or rejected her part in this, she’s leaving Vere Castle, her strangeness with her.”
“She has no money, Colin.”
“As I told you, she has family and I’ve already sent her brother a message. He and his family live near Pitlochry, in the central Highlands. They have no choice but to provide her a home. I’m sorry she behaved as she did toward you.”
Nearly killed me dead, truth be told, Sinjun started to say, then stopped. It didn’t matter now. She would soon be gone. She said, “If she wasn’t Robert MacPherson’s source, then who was?”
“I don’t know, but I will find out. In the meantime, as you know, Robbie has promised to keep his men in control as well as himself. He’s promised to speak to his father and to listen to him, really listen. Don’t mistake me, Joan, if he attempts more violence against any of us or against any of our people, I will kill him. He knows it. Perhaps he will seek to be reasonable now.”
“Serena is his sister. It makes more sense that she would have accused you to him.”
He looked amused and vain as a very young man with his first compliment from a lady. “Oh no. Serena loves me. At least she’s told me so countless times, and all those times since I married you. I’m also seeing that she returns to her father.”
“Goodness, the castle will be bare! Please, Colin, it isn’t necessary. Serena is an odd duck, perhaps daft, but harmless. If she tries to kiss you again, though, perhaps I will have to speak to her.”
Colin laughed. “She doesn’t realize how ferocious you are, how possessive of me you are. I should tell her that she isn’t safe around you if she touches me again. She should request that I send her back to her father. Now that you’re here for the children, there’s no need for either of those ladies. Do you agree?”
“I quite agree,” Sinjun said.
“Everything is happening now,” he continued after a moment. “The sheep will be arriving within the next two days—not sheep to force our people off their lands, just enough to provide enough raw wool and milk. And the cattle, naturally, enough for all our people. I have also called a meeting of all my crofters and tenants. My proposition is that they will go from one croft to the next. I will furnish all the supplies and equipment we need. We will make all necessary repairs, from roofs to fences to bed frames. There will be no more want or uncertainty for the Kinross clan. Thank you, Joan.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, and swallowed. He’d spoken to her like his partner. “Why are you telling me all this?”
He was silent for a moment. He took a spoonful of porridge and chewed thoughtfully. “It’s your money that allows all this. It’s only proper you know its disposition.”
She felt a streak of disappointment, for his voice was cool and dismissive, but she managed to say calmly enough, “Tell me what to do. The household is shaping up quite nicely, but there is still much repair to be done. I also need gardeners.”
“Yes, Alex has already filled my ears with what needs to be done outside. I shouldn’t be surprised to find her out there weeding around the rosebushes. She was very impassioned about it. You will speak to Mr. Seton. He will bring men to you to interview. It will all take time, but time is something we now have. The creditors are no longer breathing down my neck. We are afloat; indeed, we are rowing smartly forward. We will make up that infamous list together quite soon. Now, Douglas and Ryder wish me to take them around and show them what we’re doing. They wish to meet some of our people. Should you like to accompany us?”
She looked at her husband. He was including her. Did he finally understand she wouldn’t steal his box and this was the proof of it? No, probably not. It was her money, as he’d said. He didn’t want her to feel excluded. He was being kind. Blessed hell, but she hated kindness from him; kindness was a bloodless emotion.
“No, not this time,” she said, tossing her napkin on her plate and rising. “I wish to visit with the children, particularly Philip. I owe him an apology, and since he is very much your son, I imagine he will make me grovel before absolving me.”
Colin gave a shout of laughter.
“Also, the wives will want to know what’s happened with MacPherson.”
“I already told them everything at breakfast. Alex was arguing toe to toe with me when she turned green, grabbed her stomach, and sprinted from the room. Douglas sighed and hefted up the basin Mrs. Seton had given him and went after her. Ryder and Sophie were alternately laughing and yelling at each other. They were trying to look interested in all my projects, but failed woefully. Your brothers are charming, Joan, when they’re not trying to kill me.”
She grinned, picturing the scene without difficulty. “How did Aunt Arleth and Serena react? Guilty? Angry?”
“Aunt Arleth said not a word. Serena looked vague. It was Dahling who had all the questions. She wanted to know why you didn’t take her to confront MacPherson since it was a ladies’ battle. She then asked Serena why her brother was such a bad man. Serena said he hated his angel’s face and thus he cultivated his devil’s soul.”
“It appears I must apologize to her as well. Are you certain Au
nt Arleth didn’t look guilty?”
“No, afraid not. Still, I will speak to her privately.”
“I’m still afraid, Colin.”
He rose and strode to the end of the table where she was standing. He stood there beside her, looking down at her. Then he opened his arms. “No one will ever hurt you again,” he said, and pulled her up against his chest. “Dear God, you scared the very devil out of me.”
She nuzzled her face into his throat. “Good,” she said, as she kissed his chin. “You had a great deal of wickedness. A little less won’t serve you ill.”
He laughed, hugged her more tightly, and stood there, holding her. “Do you feel well today?”
“Much better. Just a bit on the weak side.”
“That was from last night. You’ll feel that way nearly every morning from now on.”
She raised her face to kiss him.
“Papa, surely Sinjun doesn’t like to have you pet her at the breakfast table.”
Colin sighed, kissed her lightly on her chin, and released her. He looked down at his son, who stood in the doorway, hands on his hips, a stance just like his father’s.
“What do you want, Philip? Joan was shortly to be on her way to find you. She is quite prepared to give you an abject apology. She is prepared to grovel, to cook you sugared almonds until your teeth rot out. She is quite ready for you to abuse her endlessly, since you are my son.”
For a brief moment Philip managed to look severe, but then he said, “It’s all right, Sinjun. I know you. I doubt you’ll ever change.” Then he turned immediately to his father. “Uncle Ryder asked me if I wanted to visit him and Aunt Sophie and all their children. He says there are more than a dozen now and I would quite enjoy myself. Brandon House is where they all live and it’s right next to his house. Did you know that he saves children, Papa, from all sorts of terrible situations? He becomes their guardian and takes care of them and he loves them. He didn’t say that but I could tell that he does and Uncle Douglas told me that he does. I think it embarrasses him when people think he’s good. Uncle Ryder told me about his brother-in-law Jeremy, who’s at Eton and lame and quite the best fighter he’s seen in a long time. He said Jeremy can also ride like the wind. He said he’d teach me how to fight dirty if it was all right with you. He said I’m nearly the age Jeremy was when he taught him. Please, Papa, can I?”
The Sherbrooke Series Novels 1-5 Page 97
