This dirty ass motha fucka! Let me explain something to y’all for those of you who might be just a little confused. I knew Jaquan like the back of my hand, and that night that I went and picked his ass up from the studio and he was drunk as hell, I knew it was because of something that was major and stressing him. Jaquan drinks some of the time, but he only drinks himself to the point where he can’t handle his liquor when his back is against the wall. I knew it was bullshit that he was feeding me when he told me that he was stressing about dropping his new mixtape, but I still let it go and didn’t question him about it again. This is why his ass married me! He knew that if I had found out about Chantel while we were just “boyfriend and girlfriend,” that I would easily walk away, so this nigga decided to do the fuckin’ unthinkable and married me so that I wouldn’t leave him. Ain’t this some shit!
I heard the water go off in the bathroom. Fuck the calm before the storm because I was about to go the fuck off on his ass. A few seconds later, Jaquan walked out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist.
“What’s good, bae? When you get here?” he asked like everything was so fuckin’ good between the two of us.
How could this nigga sleep at night knowing he has shit lurking in the shadows behind his ass? Did the nigga not have a conscience or some shit? How could he possibly tell me that he loves me, but go around hiding the fact that he has a baby on the way from me?
“You must think I’m real fuckin’ stupid, huh? I literally have to be just the dumbest bitch that you’ve ever met in your fuckin’ life, right?” I asked him, voice calm and all.
“Fuck is you talking about, Charlie? And why the fuck you have my phone? We going through each other’s phones and shit now?” He had the nerve to have a damn attitude.
He tried to grab the phone, but I quickly threw the shit with all of my might, making the screen shatter instantly. He looked at me with murder in his eyes. “I swear to God if your ass wasn’t pregnant right now, I would slap the shit out of your ass! I ain’t never laid a finger on you, but I promise to God, you would have been calling your mama on me today because God knows I would have had your ass on this floor crying!” he barked at me.
“Fuck you, Jaquan, you liar! Let me ask you something why the fuck did you marry me? When we were younger, we always talked about having a big ass wedding, so why all of a sudden you have a change of heart? Why did you rush for us to get married in Vegas? Answer me, nigga!” I screamed at him, with tears running down my face.
I wasn’t crying due to the fact that I was sad or no shit like that, I was crying because I was fuckin’ livid with this nigga! I swear this was the fuckin’ straw that broke the damn camel’s back.
“How about because I love your dumb ass! Charlie, I told you we were going to have a big wedding, so what the fuck are you talking about? You knew as well as I knew that I was tired of going around labeling you as just my baby mama. I felt like you deserved more than that, and I was ready to call you my wife. I would think that your ass would appreciate that shit, but clearly your unappreciative ass don’t!” he fussed at me.
“You’re a fuckin’ liar, Jaquan, and I hate you so much right now for continuing to lie in my face. You make me feel like I’m not shit to you because you’re continuing the damn lie! When the fuck was you going to tell me that Chantel was pregnant? Huh? Were you going to just bring the fuckin’ baby home after she gave birth, with hopes of me just accepting that shit? Jaquan, do you know who the fuck you’re dealing with right now? Remember, can’t nothing that we signed be unsigned, nigga!”
I was about to walk out of the room, but he grabbed my arm.
“Fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked.
I could see fear in his eyes, mixed with anger. Fear because I could tell that at this very moment, he felt defeated, and he was scared of possibly losing me. Anger because his secret was out, and I wasn’t in the dark anymore about his fuckin’ secret.
“It means that just because we’re married doesn’t mean that can’t get a divorce! Let’s be real here, the only reason why you even decided to marry me so quickly was due to the fact that you knew in your heart that I would have left your ass once your secret was out. You knew, Jaquan, and because of that, I fuckin’ hate your ass! And I regret marrying you!” I said.
“You don’t mean that, Charlie, so chill and stop making me out to be some nigga that did some shit out of spite. I’ll admit to the shit, though. I love your ass way too much to ever lose you, so if I had to do some shit that would keep us together, then so be it! Charlie, I know you and I know that had I told you about the message that Chantel sent me, you would have left my ass. I didn’t want that, so I did the selfish thing and I decided to make you my wife. But baby, that’s only a tenth of the reason I did it. I love you, man, it’s no other way to say it, and that’s the reason I put this damn rock on your finger.” He lifted my hand up, so the ring was in my face.
“You know what hurts me the most right now, Jaquan? The day you proposed to me in the club, damn near in front of the whole world because everybody was recording the shit. You made me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. You made me feel good about myself because I felt like I did the unthinkable and got married to a thug ass rapper. I felt like you were turning in your player’s card for me! You were willing to do right by me, and seeing you standing up on that stage that night, I dreamed of shit like that.
“I dreamed of you telling everybody how you felt about me, and I always hoped that you would propose to me in front of a big crowd. But you know what? All of that was for nothing because it was all fake! You did it for the benefit of yourself, always looking out for your ass, fuck everybody else,” I vented.
The tears that were falling now were tears of hurt, humiliation, and embarrassment.
“Baby, it was real! Come on now,” he tried to plead.
“It wasn’t, Jaquan, and you know it.”
And with that, I walked away. I went back downstairs and put my shoes back on my feet. Removing my ring, I placed it on the island in the kitchen. I really don’t know what that meant, but I knew that I was wearing 18K of a fuckin’ lie.
Chapter 13: Monae
It was three in the morning, and I was at my mama’s house and I couldn’t sleep for shit. It’s like I woke up in the middle of the night and God told me that Quay was out doing some shit that he wasn’t supposed to be doing. I know they say God works in mysterious ways, but damn, I didn’t think it was to the point where I would wake up out of my sleep and think that he was up to something.
The way my mind was working right now, there was no possible way that I would be able to go back to sleep. I jumped out of the bed and took a quick shower. When I finished, I brushed my teeth and took the scarf off my head and let my hair fall down. I quickly gave myself a part down the middle and walked back into my room. I threw on a pair of black tights from Pink and a pink and black sweater from Pink as well.
I went into my closet and threw on my Uggs and grabbed my purse. I creeped down the hall to my mother’s room but she was knocked out, so I silently closed the door behind me. I deactivated the alarm and made my way outside to my BMW.
I pushed 80 mph all the way to Quay’s house. I don’t know what the fuck I was looking for, but I was for damn sure going to find it. It’s crazy because at this point, I didn’t even know whether Quay was my man, but I guess tonight I would find out.
Twenty minutes later, I pulled up to Quay’s house, and lucky for him, there weren’t any other cars in the driveway. I parked my car and got out. I knew Quay was home because all of his cars were out front, and I also knew that he was most likely sleeping because all the lights in the house were out. I jogged up to the doorstep and rang the doorbell. After I waited for a minute and there weren’t any signs of him coming to the door, I knocked very loudly.
“Quay, open up the door! I know you hear me,” I said, loud but not loud enough to the point where neighbors and shit were going to be woken up
out of their sleep.
A minute later, he came to the door with a mean ass mug on his face, making me regret coming down there and waking him up. I couldn’t help my eyes as they traveled down to the bulge that was in his boxers.
“Monae, why the fuck you banging on my damn door this time of the morning like you the damn police? What the hell is wrong with your ass?” He looked at me like I was bat shit crazy.
“You not going to let me in?” I asked, ignoring the question that he had just asked me.
“Let you in for what? Shouldn’t you be somewhere sleep? What the hell do you want?” he asked me again, still blocking the door so I couldn’t get inside.
“What? It’s a bitch in there or something? Why you not letting me in?” I asked.
“Only bitch here is you, now take your ass home,” he said.
I shoved him in his face and pushed past his ass, making my way into this home. I checked every damn room downstairs, including the laundry room, and then headed upstairs and checked all of those rooms too. Call me crazy, but I was awakened from out of my sleep, and I could sense that some fishy shit was going on.
“You feel better now? Your ass is certified crazy, you know that, right? You really thought I brought a bitch over here or something?” Quay asked and then sat on the bed.
I’m not going to lie, I felt a little stupid, but I wasn’t going to admit the shit to him. I kicked off my boots and set my purse on the nightstand then walked over to him. I sat on his lap and surprisingly, he didn’t push my ass off of him like I thought he was going to do.
“I just miss the old days when everything between us was perfect. I mean, even though we had to keep our relationship on the low then, I just felt like outside of that, everything else felt right. You made me feel wanted, loved, and beautiful. It’s like ever since that whole thing went down with you and my brother, I feel like things between you and me have changed. I’m willing to do anything to get you back. Me being here at three in the morning should prove to you just how much I love you and how much I’m willing to do anything for things to go back to how they used to be,” I confessed to Quay as I rubbed his head. “Tell me how you feel about us,” I said.
“I love you, Monae, and you know that. Yeah, just like you, I miss the way things used to be, but I don’t miss living in that lie. I never as a man want to be put in awkward ass situations where I got to go around lying to people. When I bought your ass that car, I just knew that would be the moment when you went ahead and told everybody about us. That shit crushed a nigga when you said you bought that shit with the money that Quan was giving you. If we going to do this, we got to do shit the right way. No secrets, none of that shit, Monae, or I’m leaving your ass and it ain’t going to be no second chance.”
“Okay, and one more question. What ever happened to the girl I saw you with at Walgreens? Is she pregnant?”
I prayed he would say no, because honestly, I didn’t think that my heart would be able to take it. I loved Quay too much to watch him have a baby with another woman.
“No, she’s not pregnant. That’s already been confirmed,” he said.
I blew out a sigh of relief. “Oh God, thank you. So, that must mean that y’all were having unprotected sex then?” I asked him with shocked eyes.
“No, we weren’t. I was wearing condoms, but she claimed the condom broke.” He avoided eye contact with me.
“For some reason, I just don’t believe you, but that’s neither here nor there. Fuck the past though, all I’m worrying about is the present and the future with you,” I told him and then wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Let me guess, you want some dick now? That’s why you brought your ass over here in the first place,” he said before kissing me on my lips.
“Yeah, I want some dick, but I came over here because I had a dream that you had a bitch laid up in the bed with you,” I told him truthfully.
He laughed like what I said was comical or some shit.
“I swear to God, your ass is missing a couple of screws in that damn head of yours. That’s why you brought your ass in here opening up doors and shit?”
I nodded my head then stepped out of my tights and my thong and removed my top. I climbed back into his lap and pulled his already hard dick from out the slit of his boxers.
“Wait, where are your condoms?” I asked him before I sat down on his dick.
“Really, Monae? I said I didn’t fuck the bitch raw. Come on now.”
He motioned with his hands for me to sit on his dick, and walked back over to him and slowly eased down on it.
Chapter 14: Dre
I was in the studio with Quan and Quay, but we were on a break right now and having a smoke session. I swear this rapping shit had my adrenaline pumping. I didn’t even go in the booth with a pen and paper because I was able to spit shit from off of the top of my head. I knew God had put me here on this earth for a purpose other than selling damn drugs, but I was just too damn hard headed to pay attention to my damn talent.
I admit this rapping shit was keeping me very busy, and I felt like I was spending fewer days home now than from when I was out in the streets hustling. But it was cool because I didn’t have to constantly watch my back every five minutes.
Only thing I can complain about when it comes to this new lifestyle is that temptation is a motha fucka. I was already well known in Miami before I got on the track with Quan because Miami was my city. But now that I was getting all of this exposure, bitches were popping out of every corner. I was used to thirsty bitches trying to get with me before, but damn, shit was way different now. I fucked up and made my ass an Instagram page, and I swear the birds were out there. If Toya ever got a glimpse of my DM’s, she would probably kill my ass. It’s crazy because I don’t even be feeding into that shit. But I’ll admit, when I’m in the club, I’ll entertain these bitches, but that’s as far as that goes.
Toya was still in the doghouse and I had made that very plain and clear to her. I had her staying at my condo though, and while I was gone, her ass would call me once every hour because she still hadn’t gone back to work yet. Honestly, I didn’t even want her ass to go back over there to that bullshit ass job, especially after she told me the shit about James’s father being her boss, and how he could easily have her fired.
I wanted them to fire her ass because my life was about to change for the better, and everything I did, I wanted Toya to be a part of it. I wanted her at all of my shows, I wanted her on tours, and interviews with me, all of that. I didn’t want to have to call her or come home from the day’s events and tell her everything that went down, I actually wanted her right there beside me.
I’m not going to lie though, I felt bad for the way I had been treating Toya lately, but she needed to understand that I wasn’t a typical nigga. I wasn’t going to let her go behind my back, doing sneaky shit, and think that it’s okay because it wasn’t. I had her ass on a no dick, Netflix and chill, no text, none of that that romantic shit type of punishment. My girl was beautiful as hell, and it killed me to walk past her every day and not slide my dick up in her, but she brought this shit on herself. My birthday was this week. I had some shit up my sleeve, and I was going to break her off some dick then.
“You fixed them problems that you were telling me about that you were having with Charlie?” I asked Quan.
Females thought that they were the only ones who had fuckin’ conversations amongst themselves when it comes to us niggas, but I swear they be sadly mistaken because we be talking about their asses too. It’s not even on some gossip shit, but just niggas talking about our relationship problems to each other.
“Hell nah, she still ain’t fuckin’ with my ass. Luckily, she didn’t disappear on my ass again, but she giving me her ass to kiss, and I’m right there kissing it too, man. I love this girl way too much to let her walk away from me. Charlie kills me when she gets to talking about finding her a new man and all that other crazy shit. It really be fuckin me up in the head be
cause I see the way these niggas out here be staring at my wife, and I know they want her. My biggest fear is that she’s going to get with a nigga that’s going to treat her ass better than I can,” Quan said.
That was some real shit, and I really felt him on that one. No nigga wanted to watch his woman ride off into the sunset with the next nigga and watch another nigga make her glow. That just wasn’t happening.
“Well, lucky for me, my ass don’t have no drama to tell tonight. Bae came over early this morning around three, and I dropped this dick in her,” Quay said, after taking a puff from the blunt.
“Nigga, who the fuck is bae?” I asked because his ass had been fuckin’ way too many bitches lately, so I honestly didn’t know who the hell he was talking about.
“Monae, nigga,” he said, and my eyes quickly went to Quan.
“Ay nigga, I don’t want to hear about your damn sexual activities you be having with my sister. Bad enough I had to catch y’all two motha fuckas in the damn act,” Quan said.
I laughed because he will never let Quay forget about him catching them fucking at his mama’s house.
“Nah, but for real. You know how we supposed to be celebrating my birthday this Friday at K.O.D. So, y’all already know about me having Toya in the doghouse and shit like that. The only way I’m going to forgive her ass is if she does some major shit for a nigga. I mean, this shit gotta be epic if she wants things to get back to how they used to be,” I told my niggas.
“Oh lord, what you trying to make this girl do?” Quan asked.
“A nigga wants a threesome for his birthday,” I said.
Both of these niggas started laughing like what I said was the funniest shit they heard all week.
“For real, that shit gotta be crazy, though. She keeps talking about how she’ll do anything for us to get back to normal, and this is anything. I ain’t gon’ ask my girl to even kiss the bitch because I already know Toya ain’t gon’ be down for that. All I want is to see another bitch go down on my woman, and I swear that’s the only birthday present I want from her.”
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