by Kailin Gow
“Pretty good.”
“You missing anything?” She reached out to pat the hair of my doll, her eyes misting over.
“No, I think I’m good.” My voice was thick and hoarse.
“I miss her a lot too, honey.”
“I know you do, Mom.” I nodded, not wanting to talk about it more. The sudden move to San Francisco had come just weeks after my grandmother’s funeral. I knew Mom was frazzled by it, but I wasn’t in the mood to share my feelings. “I’m tired of all the constant changes.”
She nodded her understanding. “Are you ready for your first day at school tomorrow?”
“As ready as I can be. I don’t really know what to expect… what to wear, how to do my hair, how to act, who to befriend, who to trust, where to go, how to get there, what weather to…”
“I understand, Lux,” Mom cut in with an amused grin. “I’ll make it up to you. I may not be able to do much to ease your entry into yet again another new school, but I’ll do my all to make this home the best you’ve ever had.” She kissed my brow and rose to leave.
“Mom,” I called out.
“Yes, honey.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. Get a good night’s sleep.”
I knew my nerves wouldn’t really allow for that, but I nodded and smiled all the same. Once I’d heard her steps fade down the stairs, I put the rest of my things away and made my bed.
After trying out my new tub, I set out the clothes I would wear the next day; black leather pleated mini-skirt and a simple white shirt, open at the collar. Underneath was my lacy black bra, which was going to show through the white shirt. What I planned on wearing was simple, yet edgy, I thought. I could always spice it up by wearing a lacy red bra underneath, but I wanted my first day in school to be tame, even mundane. Doing anything that could leave me expelled once again was not an option, so I opted for the large jewel encrusted crucifix instead. It added just the right amount of color and flash to my otherwise simple attire.
After that, there was little more I could do to ensure the next day ran smooth except get into bed early. I pulled back the covers and lay back only to turn onto my stomach moments later. I breathed in the fresh scent of my freshly laundered sheets, wanting desperately to find comfort and solace. Ten minutes later I shifted over to my side and hugged my pillow for a few minutes before flipping onto my back to stare at the ceiling for a full half hour.
Sleep would not come.
The air was silent, the room darker than the one in Seattle had ever been. Only a scant amount of moonlight entered via the back window, setting a cool glow against the dark armchair. It flowed across the polished floor and up to the foot of my bed.
When shadows, dark and ominous, danced along the far wall, my breath caught in my throat. The trees outside, my brain quickly rationalized, but I knew it was more than that.
I sat up, my gaze immediately drawn to the armchair by the window. The silhouette of a man, poised, confident and strong, sat staring up at the moon. His hands were clasped tightly, his index fingers pressed together and pointing up under his chin in a pensive pose.
“Lothario?” I murmured.
“You remember.” He leaned forward, turned to me and smiled. “I’m flattered.”
The moonlight glowed golden on his skin and flickered in his eyes. He was magnificently beautiful.
“How long has it been, Lux?”
His smile was glorious, more so than I remembered; his appeal ageless, his wisdom ancient and his charm never ending.
“Five years,” I said. “You haven’t changed.”
A brief rumble of laughter echoed in the stillness of the night.
“I can’t say the same for you, lovely Lux.” He shifted over to face me, his legs propped up and dangling over the armrest. “You’ve grown into quite the exquisite young woman.”
“Thank you.” Twelve when I’d last seen him, I’d become a puddle of pre-pubescent mush before his grand charm and eloquent compliments. I now wanted to ensure I maintained full control of my emotions and attraction to him.
“I assume you're settling in nicely.”
Looking at the pleats and lace that edged my sheets, I shrugged and fiddled with the fabric. “As best as I can, I guess.”
“I hear San Francisco has excellent weather.”
I looked at him and smirked. Weather? After all I’d been through I should be ecstatic about the fair weather? “That may be true, but it still doesn’t guarantee we won’t have to move again, and all on my account.”
“I think you’d do well to truly settle into your new life here. You’ll be here for a lot longer than you’ve grown accustomed to. There’s so much work to be done.”
“Is that why we came here, to San Francisco?”
“Could there be any other reason?”
“Well, I thought my father really liked this new university he’ll be teaching at.”
“I am pleased to hear he’s happy with that, but no. The reason for the move is considerably more important than that. We’re not in the habit of doing anything in vain.”
I should have known. Somehow I’d assumed this move was to be a new start, a real new start. Then again this kind of thing had been going on since I’d turned two, though Lothario hadn’t been present in my life back then, but another.
“You’ve done well these past five years,” he went on. “You’re strong, calculating and wise. You get the job done in an efficient way.”
A slow smile made its way to my tired lips. I certainly tried to do the best I could.
“But this past year you’ve grown weary. I know the tasks set upon you can at times be overwhelming, but you’ve allowed yourself to become careless, getting caught in situations that should be easily averted.”
My shoulders fell in dismay. Was he berating me? “I’m sorry. I try to do the best I can.”
“Really?” He cocked a skeptical brow.
“Well.” I tried to keep the defensive edge out of my voice. “I have a lot going on in my life. I mean, everything was so much simpler when I was younger. There was no doubt I was completely devoted to this new aspect of my life, but…”
“I understand the pressures of being an adolescent.” He flashed me a knowing grin. “Gone are the days of being carefree. Gone is the ability to remain impervious to the questionable glares of others. You want to fit in, to be pretty, to be liked, to be loved. You’re more concerned with catching the eye of a young suitor than anything else.”
“I’m not as boy crazy as you're making me out to be. In case I need to remind you, I also have an education I have to get through. Homework is time consuming and being a teen is pretty stressful at times.”
He rubbed his fingers against his temple. “I’m too old for this,” he groaned. “Perhaps I’ve expected too much from you, put undue pressure on you. I’ve been told I can be rather demanding.”
“Good to hear.”
He fisted his hands together and his lips pursed into a pensive pucker. “Perhaps it’s time you had another guardian, someone younger and more in tuned to the needs of a teenager such as yourself.”
“Did I hear a note of condescension in there?”
“Of course not. I’m merely being pragmatic and shrewd. You're going to have a ton of work here and you need someone a little more… hands on. A guardian who is your age and better able to fit in to your daily routine at school. A guardian who’ll be a lot more help than I can be at this time. A guardian you can be friends with.”
“Friends?” Frowning with disbelief, I glanced at him. I’d managed a few acquaintances, a few kids I hung out with on a few rare occasions, but true friends? No, they always freaked out when they discovered I wasn’t exactly like them. I couldn’t really remember the last time I’d had a real friend, someone who knew and understood me, someone I could share secrets with.
Lothario rose, tall and imposing in the dark shadows, his shoulders almost touching the steeple ceiling. His inner glo
w radiated from him as he turned to me, warming me. A few long and elegant strides brought him to Grandma’s steam trunk. “Everything you need is under the bottom panel,” he said, patting the trunk. “I want you to know you can always rely on me for a helping hand. If ever you need me…”
“I know, Lothario, and thanks. I’ll let you know the minute I can’t handle it.”
“We wouldn’t entrust such an immense task on you if we weren’t completely confident of your abilities.” He straightened his shoulders and a light fluttering sound came from behind him. His inner glow intensified, lighting the room with such brilliance, I felt certain our new neighbors would be awakened by brightness.
The fluttering increased as wings, thick with ivory feathers, rose behind him. I’d seen him take flight on more than one occasion and it never failed to inspire me. Sitting in awe as his wings spread out touching the highest point of my vaulted ceiling, I smiled, optimistic for the first time since learning of this latest move.
“Until we meet again, faithful one.” He winked and disappeared.
Chapter 2
St. James Academy was imposing at first glance. Navy blue uniforms, crisp, clean and perfect. Boys with short cropped hair; their chins up, their shoulders back. Girls with not a hair out of place, their grins formal, their gazes scrutinizing.
I looked down at my edgy but simple outfit and knew I’d have to go and find out what had happened to the uniform I’d ordered. Though a part of me enjoyed being set apart from the clones who surrounded me, I knew I had to do everything I could to fit in. My father had done so much to get me into this very picky and particular private school, using his ties to the dean of Rothschild University, Mr. Kingsley, to get St. James to overlook the fact I’d been expelled from my old school. However, I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep me in if I didn’t fall in line.
Following the flow of students who passed through the doors of the academy, I entered my new school. Once a convent, the academy retained much of the look and feel of years gone by. The occasional crucifix was hung over doors, warding off evil. Highly polished planks of wood covered the floor of the narrow halls, adorned in the corners with white ash inlay. Chair rails ran the length of the hall leading to an old office converted into a locker alcove. At the end of the hall, a Prie-Dieu reminded everyone of the buildings prior vocation.
My first stop was the head mistress’s office to finish off the paperwork that followed me to this new school and get my new class schedule. Perhaps she would also have some news on my school uniforms, though I secretly wished they’d remain lost forever.
“Miss Bright,” I said as I entered the spacious office with a view on the zen study garden. “I’m…”
“Lux Collins,” she cut in as she stood and held her hand out. She was an imposing figure, standing close to six feet tall and leaving no doubt she was in charge. “I’ve been expecting you.”
She swept an inquisitive gaze up and down the length of me, her gaze harsh as she appraised my attire, but a note of interest sparked in her eyes. “I take it there’s a good reason you don’t have a uniform.”
“I haven’t received it yet.”
“I’ll make sure you get it by the end of the day.” She repressed an amused grin as she took her seat. “Please sit down.”
I handed her my rather thick school file and she flipped through the pages, her face alternating between displeasure and great interest. “You’ve had a tumultuous school year to say the least.”
“I guess I’m just the type kids don’t like. Trouble finds me in pretty short order.”
She smiled. “I’m sure a pretty girl like you attracts more than just trouble, but let me assure you that St. James Academy could be just the school to put a little space between Lux Collins and trouble. This is a wonderful school, and we’re proud of every single graduate. I’m sure you’ll love it.”
My smile felt pasted on as I listened to her rattle off the advantages of going to such a prestigious school. I nodded at the appropriate moments, said, “How wonderful,” when she mentioned how small the classes were and forced a laugh as she went on and on about the fun-filled pranks teachers were apt to pull in order to keep students in line.
The office door cracked open and I was relieved by the intrusion. Finally, someone to put an end to this endless meeting.
Miss Bright’s eyes lit up as she looked over my shoulder. Probably a teacher she had a crush on I thought absently. I chewed on a nail as I waited for her to finish with the intruder and get back to my class schedule.
“Braxton, you're just in time.”
“Happy to be of help, Miss Bright.”
The voice was surprisingly younger than I’d expected, obviously not that of a teacher, but my interest level didn’t go further than that.
When Miss Bright cleared her throat for the third time, I glanced at her. She cocked her brow towards the door with interest and seemed genuinely dismayed by my lack of curiosity.
A quick sidelong glance told me it was a young male student dressed in a navy blue uniform. His shoes shined, his pants fell into a neatly hemmed line over them and there was no sign of a knee deforming the perfect pleat. My disinterested gaze didn’t go further than that before turning to Miss Bright.
“I’ve arranged to have a student show you around. He’ll show you where your classes are, the cafeteria, study halls and anything else you might want to find.” Once again her eyes reflected dismay.
The young man stepped forward, forcing me to give him the attention Miss Bright seemed so eager for me to bestow on him.
My lazy, disinterested breath caught in my throat as I looked up at him and I had to fight to keep from gaping. Suddenly my heart raced and my mind tried to make sense of it all.
“Braxton Kingsley,” the young man said, his lips twitching into a cockeyed grin, his hazel eyes twinkling with the knowledge of the effect he had on women.
My voice was useless as it gurgled and croaked as I tried to think of something to say. He was the young man I’d seen through the raven adorned gate; the young man in the lacrosse outfit. I was certain of it. His blond hair, swept off his face, but falling in haphazard curls at his neck, gave him an allure that was irresistible.
The navy jacket was broad at the shoulders and exquisitely filled. Adding to his lurid appeal was one unclasped top button of his shirt teamed with his slackened navy tie. The uniform shouted refinement and conformity, but that slack knot whispered of the wild boy inside.
His eyes gave nothing away, making it impossible to know whether he recognized me or not. We’d had such a strong connection, how could he not remember me?
“Braxton knows everything there is to know about St. James and he’s a rather smart boy, too. You’ll do well to follow his lead. Sports, extracurricular activities, student blog, charity events, fund raisers… he touches it all and we all love him for it.”
“Kingsley,” I finally said in a surprisingly cool tone. “I’ve heard the name before. Are you related to…?”
“Richard Kingsley?” he finished. “Yeah, he’s my uncle. I’ve been staying with him for a while.”
“Well, I hope I’ll have the opportunity to meet him. He had a hand in getting me here and I owe him a big thank you.”
“Maybe you should wait and see if you like it here first.” Dark and ominous, his voice contradicted the light of playfulness in his eyes.
I cocked my head and prepared to protest. This was supposed to be the turning point in my life.
He gave a small smile. “Joking. There’s enough seriousness going on out in these dedicated halls of higher learning,” he said, waving the comment away. “Just my idea of humor. I’m sure you’ll love it here.”
Despite my best effort to remain aloof and unaffected, he warmed me. He was charming, funny and far better looking than a guy should be.
“You’ll be in good hands, Miss Collins,” Miss Bright said as I stood to follow Braxton.
“Thank you.”
Bra
xton pushed open the door and guided me down the hall.
“You know,” I said. “I really appreciate all this, Braxton, but…”
“You can call me Brax,” he injected with a comical smirk. “All my friends do.”
Friends? Aren’t we being a little premature?
“Sure,” I said with a tight, polite smile. “Brax… I think I can find my way well enough.”
His brow creased over his darkening eyes, revealing a hint of something dark hiding beneath the angelic curls. I’d always been a sucker for the dark, brooding type and this guy, silly sense of humor and all, was slowly working his way into that place I simply didn’t want him to go.
Don’t get all charming with me, I silently warned.
“Look.” He stopped and looked around as the last of the wandering students found the classes. “I arrived here just last year. I know what it’s like being the new kid in school, especially since you’re starting a month late. We’ve all had a chance to get acquainted and you're the perfect stranger thrown into the bunch… the outsider, the intruder, the girl the kids will turn their shoulder to. And these are privileged kids, we’re talking about. They already have their nose in the air and they love to flaunt it.”
“Gee, thanks for making it sound so appealing.”
“But if you stick with me…” He poked his elbow playfully into my ribs. “All the kids will love you. I made a smooth transition from the lowly Fulford High to the pomp and prestige of St. James and I can help you make it too.”
“Thanks, but I think I’m good.” The thought of relying on him was appealing, but I knew I worked best alone and on my own.
He grinned, trying to hide his disbelief. “You’re brushing me off? Fine.” He held his hands up and took a few steps away. “So you don’t want to hang with me. I’m cool with that. But Miss Bright, my uncle and your parents all expect me to ease you into the life of St. James. They’ll be all over me if I let you go off on your own.”
I inhaled my exasperation and pouted my petulant lips. “Seriously?” I groaned in dismay.
He flashed me his killer smile and a little part of me disintegrated inside.
