I got up off the cot and ripped open the curtain. Eff Birkin. At that point, I just needed to go. Sage called after me but I didn’t care. I stormed down that long hallway of lonely people and tried my best to peek under the other curtains, looking for Pace’s boots or something like that. Couldn’t exactly call him by name. Didn’t wanna attract Birkin’s attention. Was glad he was preoccupied. Guessing he was more comfortable with the transaction than me.
At this point I didn’t realize I was raising a ruckus. But before I could do anything, a big booming voice stopped me cold.
“Who pays???”
I turned around slowly and saw this guy coming out from behind one of the curtains. A big brawny guy, probably twice my size which is pretty big. He was headed right toward me. And he looked furious.
“Who pays???” the brawny guy shouted in my face. I could feel spittle from his mouth splattering me. This guy was nearly rabid.
“You should pay,” a female voice said. It was Sage. She stood alongside the brawny guy with her arms folded, looking at me all scolding. She seemed like a different woman completely. Her posture was different, her voice was different, the way she spoke was different. She was nothing like Becca. Guess it was all an act. “You should pay or you should run.”
I didn’t like either option. I also didn’t want Birkin seeing me. No good choices. So I nodded and reached into my boot to pull out some gold coins. But then I realized I didn’t have any on me. Pace had all the gold. But before I could say anything…
“Do I understand correctly that my associate here was running off without paying?”
It was Pace. He was partially dressed, his shirt opened, his belt undone. Gwen stood next to him, looking petrified by the way, clutching her unbuttoned blouse closed tight.
Good ol’ Pace. Must’ve heard the commotion. Must’ve come to rescue me. Not that I needed it.
“That’s right,” the brawny guy grunted, turning his attention toward Pace. “You pay for him?”
“Me?” Pace just started to laugh. The brawny guy didn’t like getting laughed at. Didn’t Pace notice that he towered over him, twice his height? “I don’t pay for sex,” he announced.
“Oh, everyone pays,” Sage remarked, “one way or another.”
“Maybe we should just pay and move along,” I offered. I glanced over at the curtains, hoping Pace would get the hint that Birkin was right near us.
“An excellent suggestion, James Garfield,” Pace replied. “Come here, big guy, I’ve got something here for you.” Pace fumbled in his pockets for a second as if he was looking for something. The brawny guy leaned closer. And closer. He just wanted his gold. But instead Pace gave him something else. He cocked his fist best he could and gave that guy a roundhouse punch to the jaw. It was a decent attempt. Not sure what came over Pace though. Cause all he did was make the brawny guy mad. That guy’s response swing knocked Pace backward, right into someone’s private curtain. I caught a glimpse of, well, you know. Was glad it wasn’t Birkin. Don’t think I could live with the sight of that, I’ll tell you that right now. The naked guy in that booth was fuming. The brawny man didn’t seem to care. He dove on top of Pace, fist first.
Now we had created a quality ruckus. Gwen and Sage scattered. More ladies ran outta their booths and hightailed it outta there. Their customers got quite unhappy. Then I noticed something. Someone was watching the fight from behind me. A head was poking from out of a curtain.
“What’s goin’ on?” Birkin asked.
I raised my right elbow and smashed Birkin right in the face. That’d keep him preoccupied. Then I glanced down and saw that Pace was spitting blood, so I figured it was time to intervene. With great enthusiasm, I lifted the brawny guy off of Pace and leaned in toward him, our foreheads nearly touching. So what if he was bigger than me. I’m a brawler.
We traded blows for a few moments, but I didn’t have time to enjoy it too much. The customer whose booth Pace got knocked into was getting in his licks and Pace was in danger of getting seriously hurt. So I decked the brawny guy hard and he collapsed into a curtain, unconscious. Then I lifted the customer off of Pace and whacked him around like a toy. Then for fun I beat on Birkin some more, making sure his eyes would swell shut – enough so he couldn’t recognize me. It was great fun using my fists again. This was the kind of pleasure I could enjoy!
With no one else to hit, I just grabbed another customer and decked him. Probably shouldn’t have done that, but what the eff. That got a few other customers jumping in, which was great. I could’ve kept punching for hours, but I heard a commotion coming towards us from outside the private room. “What the hell’s going on?” a male voice shouted.
“It’s the sheriff!” I heard a few of the guys mutter as they slipped away from the fight. The sheriff. That wasn’t good. I realized we were doing a terrible job of keeping a low profile. Or maybe with Becca out of our lives I just cared about my safety a little bit less. I dunno. Fortunately Pace heard it too. We were trapped though. Couldn’t go forward, no back door to go backward. Thought we’d have to shoot our way out of this one.
“This way!” Gwen whispered loudly, grabbing Pace and leading us deeper down the hallway.
“It’s a dead end!” I said. But Gwen didn’t listen. Instead she pulled back a curtain at the end of the sex hallway and sure enough there was a back door. Effing Sage. Everything outta her mouth was a lie.
We ran out a back door which led to a fire escape. We climbed down as quick as we could, and then when we reached the dirt Gwen indicated that we should follow her, which we did. We ran for a couple a blocks until she stopped, leaning her back closely against a wall, panting heavily. I tried not to look but her blouse wasn’t exactly on right and it was hard not to notice.
“Think we put in enough distance?” I asked.
“Y-yes,” she replied, trying to catch her breath.
“So nice for you to help us Gwen,” Pace said politely. “You didn’t have to.”
“It wasn’t just for you. It was for me. The sheriff’s my father.”
Pace and I kinda looked at each other. That seemed kinda peculiar.
“So he doesn’t know about your chosen profession?”
“Oh, that.” She realized her blouse was open so she quickly buttoned it back up. She was kinda bashful about it too. Kinda odd since she was a prostitute and all. Guess she gets all modest when she’s not at work. “Yeah he knows. He just gets pissed if he thinks I’m being lenient with a customer.”
For the first time, Pace wasn’t sure what to say. Finally he responded. “That sucks.” She shrugged. “Crying shame. You’re way too beautiful for this.”
“Just trying to survive in my own way.” I think I understood girls like Gwen and Sage pretty well. I know what it’s like to go hungry. What you might be willing to do to just eat a decent meal.
“Pace,” I muttered, “just so you know for future, that’s not my thing.”
“Sex is not your thing. Got it.”
“That’s not what I… nevermind.”
“Wanna go get a drink?” Pace asked Gwen. “Not at the saloon of course!” That cracked her up.
“We have somewhere to be,” I reminded Pace. It was getting close to closing time.
“Where’s your common courtesy?” Pace scolded me. “Gwen came to our rescue. A drink is the least we can do.”
Gwen led us to a house where an old woman sold us some homemade gin for a gold coin. The stuff tasted like rocket fuel, whatever that might taste like. Then Gwen brought us to a park where people roughly our age hung out. If they weren’t busy being prostitutes and customers, of course.
We drank for a while. It became obvious that Gwen was a lightweight. Made sense. She had a small frame. And that homemade gin was powerful stuff. Gwen did a lot of giggling, a lot of hanging all over Pace. I found it kinda tiresome. And I kept waiting for Pace to indicate he wanted to be alone.
Later when she was really drunk, Pace was of a mind to ask the question
we were both wondering about.
“I hope you don’t mind my asking,” Pace said delicately, “but is your line of work profitable? I mean, are you making a lot of money?”
She nodded. “Lots of locals. Some visitors from other settlements. Some of my Dad’s friends. That’s kinda weird, but I charge them double.” I almost gasped. That sounded horrifying.
“What do you do with the money?”
“Oh, I’m saving it.” She looked around for a second, making sure no one was eavesdropping. Then she whispered so low I had a hard time hearing her. “I’ve been collecting, saving for years now. I’ve got a long way to go, but maybe by the time I’m forty I’ll have enough to run away. Just don’t tell my dad, okay? He doesn’t know and if he found out he’d take all my money for sure!”
“Oh you don’t need to worry about us,” Pace reassured her.
Gwen grabbed him. “I can give you a free one if you’d like. Your friend too. Together if you’re into it.”
I immediately shook my head no on that one. Not into it.
I figured Pace would go off with her though. Whatever. But instead he didn’t seem interested in her anymore. Maybe he felt sorry for her, I dunno. He had something else in mind.
“I’m not your dad, I’m not your brother, I barely know you. But I do know there are other ways to make money. In fact, maybe you can help us. Want to make a little money?”
Then we waited. Waited five long minutes until it was almost six o’clock.
Through our field glasses, we saw the bank was empty, save the banker sweeping up, no doubt eager to head to the saloon himself, and the armed guard of course, closing things up for the night. Nice and quiet for a low profile robbery this time.
“Ready?” Pace asked.
“Wait a sec… is that Birkin’s horse?” I pointed to a dark brown horse tied off by the saloon.
“Sure is. Guess he’s still in the saloon licking his wounds. Or paying someone to lick them for him.”
I went over to Birkin’s horse. More on that in a minute.
At six, we saw a hand flip over the Open sign to Closed. That was our cue. Pace rushed up to the bank and knocked on the door. Remember earlier Pace had gone into the bank with around a hundred gold coins? You see, Pace had opened an account. Deposited his gold coins, nice and legal. Well, legal if your name is Clark Lewis. It was a safe way to get a close look at security, and also create a ploy to get back in all peaceful-like.
“I beg your pardon,” Pace said all politely to the armed guard. “Remember me? I’m Clark Lewis. I was in earlier, opening up an account. I forgot something really important!” Pace kept babbling on and on to the armed guard until he was allowed inside. I could see through the window he was conversing with the bank teller. Then they headed deeper inside the bank. So far so good.
I made my way around the back of the bank and hid behind a tree. Next it was time to get rid of the guard at the rear entrance. Normally that would’ve been my job. But not this time.
“Hey, honey. Looking for a good time?”
It was Gwen. She’d gotten all dolled up in her sexiest, most revealing outfit, and saw fit to be standing flirtatiously right in front of the bank at exactly six o’clock. She’d brought along a friend too who was eyeing the bank guard voraciously from top to bottom.
“Listen honey, we’re having a two-for-one special down at the saloon. And when I say two-for-one, I mean two-for-one.” Gwen and her friend draped themselves all over the guard. They started rubbing him pretty much everywhere. “Come on. My friend and I will get you off.”
“Right after I get off work,” he said, laughing to himself at the pun.
“Oh that won’t do! Our two-for-one special expires in the next ten minutes. It’s now or never, handsome.”
I’m not sure even I could have passed up on that offer. So that armed guard certainly couldn’t. He checked to make sure he had enough money and then let the girls lead him down the street.
“I could get fired for leaving my post,” he said, probably fishing for sympathy. “I should get back soon.”
“Oh don’t worry,” Gwen replied. “I have a feeling you’ll be quick.”
Gwen glanced back to over where I was hiding and gave me a nod. I nodded back. I very much appreciated it, and she very much appreciated the amount of gold we’d given her. Money well spent.
I tried the back door – it was open. I quietly crept inside, making sure I didn’t let a floor board squeak underneath my weight. As I made my way through the back room, I could vaguely hear Pace in the next room. “Thanks for opening back up. I forgot something.” I stepped into Pace’s eyeline so he could see me. He nodded. “You know what I forgot? I forgot to rob you!”
I chuckled as Pace shoved his pistol into the bank teller’s chest, staring into his shocked eyes. I pulled out my shotgun and burst into the main room, catching the guard unawares. “Hands up!” I shouted. The guard started to reach for his weapon but my shotgun made him think otherwise.
“W-what happened to the other guard?” the teller cried.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “He’s being well taken care of.”
I grabbed hold of the guard, took his weapon, led him to the back room and tied him up with some rope. That would keep him out of the way. So far so good. I got back to the main room just in time to see Pace showing off.
“Any idea who we are?” Pace asked. The banker’s eyes darted over at another Wanted poster, this one adorning the wall by the clock. Pace nodded. Seemed pleased actually. “So you know what we want. Should we get on with it?”
The banker seemed nervous, sure, but maybe extra nervous. It didn’t take long for him to start sweating.
“There’s something you need to know,” he said. “A representative from headquarters came by the other day and made an adjustment to the safe. When you open it, the alarm goes off automatically. I want you to know it won’t be because of me.”
“I appreciate your courtesy, and it will be duly noted. So open up, we’ll take our chances.”
We were prepared for the alarm in any event, but it was nice of the guy to tip us off.
Once the safe was cracked open, sure enough the alarm started to wail. The haul was probably a little bit more than we’d been accustomed to, which was appreciated. We grabbed some shoulder bags and shoved as much gold into them as we could. The banker even grabbed a bag and helped us out. I liked that guy.
Pace shoved a bunch of gold coins into the banker’s eager hands.
“Thank you kindly,” the banker said.
“Well thank you kindly,” Pace said with a smile. “Pleasure doing business with you.” He was about to leave and then he hesitated. “You ever hear of Shādo Shay?”
“I have,” the banker said. “My boss informed me of him yesterday.”
“Try to get a message to him,” Pace said. “Tell him he can kiss our respective asses. And that’s a direct quote.”
“I’ll write it down,” the banker replied. Pace tipped him with a few more gold coins.
And with that, we ran outside.
“You sure you want to taunt this Shādo Shay guy?” I said, yelling over the alarm. “Might get him angry.”
“I hope so,” Pace replied. “People don’t make good choices when they’re angry.”
That alarm was drawing everyone in town outside to investigate. I wanted us to get outta there before Gwen’s father the sheriff came looking for us. Again.
Just as I was about to hop up on Charon and make our escape, Pace just collapsed to the ground.
“What the-”
Then I heard a sound. An effing terrible sound.
The sound of a shotgun’s hammer pulling back and locking into place. The barrel of the shotgun pressed against my temple. Gwen’s father?
“Gotcha,” growled a voice behind me. Didn’t need to see his face, I knew who it was. Not Gwen’s father. It was Birkin.
Effing Birkin. Was hoping he was in the in
firmary or at least whoring it up or drunk and passed out somewhere. Why did he have to be so effing conscientious?
The approaching crowd of onlookers froze in their tracks and kept their distance. No one wants to get caught in stray gunfire. In the crowd I saw Gwen’s father.
“You got ‘em?” the sheriff shouted.
“Yup,” Birkin replied. Then to me he said “turn around slow.” I turned. His face was bloodied and bruised up. Some of my best work. Made me proud. “Wanted poster says ‘Shoot First, Ask Questions Later.’ Suits me just fine.”
I still had my shotgun in my hand, but I wasn’t liking my odds for using it. I glanced down at Pace. Seemed like he was knocked out cold. “Sure that’s what you want?” I asked him.
“Damn right.”
I could tell by the look in his eye. That was exactly what he wanted. I needed to stall him. Wasn’t sure what to stall him for but it was better than being dead.
Well, I though to myself, I could take a shotgun blast to the head, see how that goes, or I could think of something fast. But I wasn’t the thinker. That’s what Pace did best. But I didn’t have much choice.
“Okay Birkin, looks like you win. Where you gonna shoot me? The head? That’ll work but makes it harder to identify the body, and you will need that to get your reward. Maybe the chest? Still bloody and messy which you’ll like, but people will still know who I am.”
“You really thinkin’ this through,” he grumbled. “I suppose the chest’ll work nicely. You first, then your partner.”
Then it clicked into place, just like the hammer on a shotgun.
“Uh oh…” I said, all concerned.
“What?”
“You hear that? That clanking metal sound?”
“I don’t hear no sound.”
“It’s faint… definitely coming this way though… it’s those effing robots. Same as we had in Great Falls. They’re headed this way.”
That was all I needed. Birkin turned his head ever so slightly to glance behind him and that was all I needed. I grabbed hold of his shotgun and managed to pry it right outta his hand without him blasting me. Then I knocked him in the face with the butt of my shotgun in my other hand. He fell to his knees.
Earthbound Page 15
