by Neena Jaydon
"I'm so buying you a new one of those," Max said.
"Why? It still works," Theo said stonily, making Max chuckle.
"Trust me," he said. "You'd look a lot better in something without holes in it." That got him a longer silence than he'd expected. Not sure what was up, Max suppressed impatience and waited. Eventually, Theo audibly drew a breath.
"How can you?"
"How can I what?"
"T-trust people."
Such a fundamental question put him on the back foot, but Max understood immediately. He thought carefully about how to respond.
We managed to skip over the making up right to the make-up sex. I doubt I'll ever be that lucky again in my life. But it wasn't only a wish to keep things calm between them that made him hesitate. He'd started feeling an unwelcome old ache in his chest.
"I mean—for both of us, other people are... They could even be a threat."
"That how you see your friends, Theo? Hm?" Max rubbed at his throat, looking up at the dark blue sky. There were too many lights around for the stars to show through.
"No, but they..." He licked his lips. "They know what it's like to be different." He sank in on himself. "And even then..."
"You can't tell them," Max said. "I get it, Theo. I do."
"But I can mostly forget and feel like I'm with my own, with them. Do you? I mean, when you're with your friends."
"Yeah," Max said lightly, but that felt too dishonest, so he added, "For a few hours, anyway."
Theo reached over to curl a hand around the back of Max's neck. He leaned in to lightly brush his lips against Max's.
"Theo," Max said, laughing softly, "I'm fine."
"I know," Theo said.
"You're so shocked I don't really fit in either? Hm?"
Max hooked his thumbs into Theo's robe belt and tugged him closer. "What?"
Theo was looking over his shoulder, his eyes narrowed. As much as he knew Theo would hate his thinking it, Max was reminded of how a cat or dog would gaze fixedly at something unfamiliar. Prickles turned to cascades of tingles down his back. Max jerked around, searching for the presence he felt.
Near his car, as bold as anything, stood a shadow spirit. Max broke out in a cold sweat but bared his teeth in a grin.
"Well, that didn't take long. This one must just hang out around here."
"E-everybody comes here sooner or later," Theo said softly. "Pretty smart."
"We'll see about that," Max said, pushing off the wall. The shadow spirit turned to watch him as he walked across the parking lot. With every step, he felt more pressure in his skull. Max ground his back teeth together as he pressed forward. He could hear Theo's bare feet brushing against the asphalt behind him. It was easier to fight his apprehension with a werewolf at his back. He held out the charm when, as if reaching a decision, the shadow spirit made a sharp move in their direction.
The shadow spirit jerked back as if it had touched something hot. It stretched sideways, torso slipping too much to one side of its lower half to remain humanoid, and made another tentative reach. Jerking again, it retreated a step.
"Hot damn," Max breathed, legs trembling with built-up adrenaline. "I think it works." He swung the charm in the shadow spirit's direction, and it turned to run. After a few steps, it flickered out of sight, but Max still sensed its presence. Sharp movement in his peripheral vision made him turn in time to see Theo jerk the belt open and let his robe fall. Max gasped, raising a hand to block the worst of the light.
"No, Theo, don't chase—" By the time he'd spoken that much, Theo was well across the parking lot. Numbly he bent to pick up the robe. "Holy crap, but he's fast."
Lights flashed behind him, making his heart leap. He looked over his shoulder to see a car driving slowly toward him. It was a white car bearing a security company logo. As casually as he could, Max sauntered back toward his own vehicle. He sighed as the security guard stopped his car and got out, flashlight in hand.
"Something I can help you with, sir?" The young guard was about Max's height but not very fit; he carried himself with a slight swagger he probably thought gave him more authority. Max decided not to tell him it wasn't working.
"Uh, just looking for my dog," Max said. The guard looked at the robe in his hand, frowning. "Oh, this is just his favourite thing to sleep on."
"Uh-huh. What's the dog look like?"
"Big grey one. Really big, like a malamute." Except anyone who knows malamutes would know he isn't one. Putting two fingers in his mouth, Max did his best whistle, wondering how ticked off Theo was going to be. "Theo! Come on, boy!" Feeling the guard's gaze burning into the side of his head, Max stared across the parking lot. He sagged in relief when he saw the great wolf bounding back their way. Ears popping up at the sight of the security vehicle, Theo made a half-circle and came in behind Max. "That a boy." Max patted Theo's head, making his ears flatten against his head. "You had me worried."
"Wow, he is a big guy, isn't he?" The guard's manner had noticeably softened. "Hey, wait just a sec." He jogged back to his car; Max and Theo exchanged a look. Dropping his haunches to the ground, Theo opened his mouth to pant. He abruptly closed it again as the guard came back, tossing something around in his hand.
"I've got a shepherd-lab cross," he said to Max. "Sometimes he comes along for the ride, so I usually have some cookies in the car. Can I give him one?"
"Sure," Max said. Oh, I have got to see this.
"Here you go, buddy." The guard leaned forward and held out a dog biscuit. Theo swivelled one ear toward Max, then turned his head to the side and casually took the treat. He crunched it up, pretending great interest in something way off across the parking lot as the guard petted his ruff with both hands.
The longer this went on, the harder it was not to laugh. Max coughed to disguise a plaintive sound that escaped his throat. "Come on, boy," he said. "Let's go home. Thanks, eh." He nodded to the guard.
"Hey, I'm glad you found him. Too many pets go missing around Halloween." With a wave, the guard went back to his car.
Max watched the other car leave as he opened the back door so Theo could slink inside.
"Okay," he said, tossing the robe in after and closing the door. Getting into the driver's seat and starting the car, he closed his eyes too late as light bounced off of the rearview. "Oh, man. Don't ever do that when I'm driving."
Theo said nothing as he stepped out, then got into the passenger seat. He sullenly buckled his seatbelt and rested his elbow on the door, glaring out the window. Max blinked until the worst of the spots were gone, then drove on. He didn't dare watch how Theo's mouth jerked at the corners. He still didn't trust himself not to laugh.
"They taste good, all right?" This came out in a low rush. Max snorted, then choked down the rest of the laughter trying to fight its way free. "Look, what tastes good when, when, when you're four-legged—and—What, you think my body ch-changes but my, my freaking taste buds—"
"Nobody's saying anything," Max said. Theo lapsed into bristling silence. "Just I'll know what to bring over next time." An unmanly giggle escaped him; Theo gave him a sour look, which only spurred him on.
"What, you think—" Theo's voice broke; he pressed his knuckles to his lips, then slid Max a little grin. "You think I can't buy my own dog cookies?" The tension gave way and they filled the car with laughter together.
*~*~*
This late in October, every day it grew a little colder. Max found the first part of his run uncomfortably cool, but his body warmed up as he went. His feet struck the familiar dirt road in an automatic rhythm. He let the trees slip by without much attention, his eyes on the slowly disintegrating barn on the Wang property. Since the Wangs had bought the place a couple of years ago, they'd been building up a vegetable farm, but they hadn't cleaned up the entire property yet. The barn was blackening and caving in, not an unusual sight around Fort Rivers.
He personally used the barn as an impromptu timer. He'd run this route so long that he knew approximate
ly how quickly the barn should appear to approach him. Today it only reluctantly grew closer, a sign that he was frustratingly off-pace.
I've got to start sleeping better. The nightmares hadn't laid off yet. He was reluctant, like most mediums, to take sleeping pills, because the dream world could be too close to the spirit world and he wanted the option of waking up. He didn't want to sleep through a shadow sneaking into his bedroom again. He shivered, and not just because of the cold which was starting to sear his throat. He drew up his fleece neck warmer.
A glitter caught his eye, and he looked up. Very fine snowflakes fell from the pale sky. They disappeared before they reached the ground.
Looks like it might be a white Halloween this year.
His childhood had been full of trick-or-treating with his costume under a winter coat and snowball fights with Anastasia. Those memories reminded him of another, more adult type of Halloween. Oh, I am so dragging Theo to the pride association dance this year. I want to see him—
Max's toe caught on the opposite heel. He stumbled badly, flailing, until he regained his balance. He put his hands on his waist, made aware of his quickened breathing now that he'd stopped. Glad nobody was around to see that.
As his lungs tried to catch up, they pulled in strong gulps of air that felt warmer, damper. The sweat droplets trickling down the back of his neck was abruptly chased by icier cousins.
The scent came again, swampy and rich. It set his heart racing and opened up all his senses.
Oh, shit. He twisted and turned, scanning his surroundings with wide eyes. Shit, shit, shit. This wasn't the pressure of the shadow spirits. The road narrowed down and stretched in both directions. His fingers suddenly didn't work as he tried to get his jacket open. The charm probably wouldn't work on Deep Murky, but he wanted to feel the rough little pouch and know it was there. Then something snapped inside him, and he was running unrestrained, barely feeling the half-frozen road underfoot.
At that punishing pace, he soon ran out of lung power, yet somehow kept going. The sight of the yellow house pulled at him like a hook and line. His legs couldn't find more speed, and his knees felt like they could give way at any moment, but still he ran. He dove down through the drainage ditch and up again, then tripped up the front stairs and burst into the house. Max collapsed in the front hall, nearly hyperventilating.
"Max?"
He felt the vibrations on the floor as Anastasia approached, but he didn't have the strength left to lift his head.
"Max! Are you okay?" She turned into rustling and a hand on his back.
"Maybe," he croaked.
"Jesus, Max, breathe. Calm down. You're safe in here." Her hand rubbed briskly across his shoulder. "Was it a shadow spirit?"
He managed to shake his head.
"Then what?"
"I'm going to be sick."
"Oh, crap. Hang on, I'll get the bowl!" She thumped away as he dragged himself up to all-fours, and was back just in time with the beaten-up plastic bowl from the hall closet. He emptied his stomach into it, pushed it as far away from himself as he could before the smell could get to him, and collapsed onto his side.
"Deep Murky," he croaked.
"Are you sure?"
"No," he said, finally able to take a real breath. "Not sure. But I can't remember feeling him this strongly in a long time."
"Maybe he is around." Anastasia sat on the floor beside him. "Well, why wouldn't he be?"
Max rolled over to glare at her. She crossed her legs under her skirt and spread both hands.
"Think about it. You said Wallace was nervous. Why wouldn't the local spirits be upset about these shadow spirits moving in?"
"Actually, that old lady too." Max blinked at the sudden memory.
"What old lady?"
"She showed up in my car, talking about something about how 'they' got through. Jesus. I thought she was some crazy old lady's ghost." Max put a hand to his forehead. His fingers no longer trembled, making them feel more like his own fingers. "It's not real fun being a medium right now, Ana."
"Yeah." Her voice went unsteady. "I don't want to have to stay in the house all the time. And these things stink." She picked up the charm and grimaced at it. "So does that." She nodded at the bowl. "I'd clean it out if I were you."
"Seriously? The guy who just got sick has to clean it up?"
"Makes sense to me." She got up and headed up the stairs.
"Some little sister you are." Now that he'd been reminded of the bowl, the thought of it made his skin crawl. He got up to deal with it. Deep Murky—or his own paranoia—would have to wait.
*~*~*
Hearing the horn outside, Theo stuffed his cellphone in his jeans pocket and caught up his house keys on his way out. He hit the passenger seat, immediately leaning over to kiss Max. Max had turned, probably in anticipation of a light peck, but Theo went for more than that, and he felt Max chuckle. He chased the vibrations of that chuckle with his tongue until Max pulled away.
"That's a big friendly greeting," Max said, putting the car in gear.
"I missed you," Theo said, his blush feeling guilty. "I'm used to, y'know, having you around now."
"Well, we're not going to get anything too exciting done for a while," Max said.
"Where are we going?" Theo asked, putting on his seatbelt.
"My friend Paul invited us to lunch at the golf club," Max said. Theo looked up at him, startled.
"Who's Paul?" He felt his chest tighten and tried to pry his ribcage loose with a deep breath. It didn't work.
"He's a sales rep at the radio station. I met him when we bought a couple of radio ads for the boarding kennel. Oh, and my friend Josh, and my racquetball buddy, Willis. Everybody's straight, but they're all decent guys." He cast an easy smile in Theo's direction. "They want to meet you."
You couldn't have told me that? Theo pulled at the hem of his T-shirt. Would I have said no?
"Have you ever been to the golf course restaurant?"
"No," Theo said, staring out the window. Outside, snow wafted down in dry, sporadic flakes.
"It's really good," Max said. "I mean, it kind of has to be, or else nobody'd bother being a member of the club. The day fees aren't that bad there."
"I've never played golf."
"Do you want to? In the spring, I mean, when the greens open up again."
"Not really interested," Theo said.
"You should give it a try before you write it off. It's pretty interesting stuff once you get into it."
"Video game golf's good enough for me," Theo said.
"A little fresh air now and again would probably do you good, Theo."
"There's a million other ways I could get fresh air." Max's continued assault on his lifestyle, no matter how mild the tone delivering it, made his skin crawl. Theo fought to keep his voice from sharpening too much.
"Well, your loss."
The golf course was out to the east of town, heavily treed and surrounded by tall fences; the low buildings were sided with mock cedar panels and not particularly remarkable. Nevertheless, Theo felt under-dressed in his casual clothes and winter coat as he stepped out of the car.
"Hang on a sec," Max said. He stood in front of Theo and reached up. Uncomfortable, Theo felt Max's sure fingertips rearranging his hair. Max smiled, nodded in satisfaction, and gestured toward the clubhouse.
Once inside, Max signed him in, and they went into the restaurant. The interior was decorated with stuffed moose heads and fish, as well as award plaques and wildlife artwork. The sturdy furniture was probably antique; the tables were covered with heavy, white tablecloths and vases of flowers. For Fort Rivers, this trite styling passed for upscale.
One of the tables had three men already seated at it, and they rose at Max and Theo's approach. Despite basic physical differences, Theo found them quite uniform, especially standing as they were in a semi-circle: dress shirts, ties, dark trousers, short hair, clean-shaven.
He got through the handshakes and introd
uctions fine. For a blessed few minutes the conversation was more to do with weather and ordering their meals, topics he didn't need to contribute much to. Then, in the time in between ordering and the arrival of their food, the awkwardness settled onto him like a damp film.
"So, Theo," Willis said, leaning back and picking up his beer. "What went through your head?"
"Eh?" Theo glanced up from playing with his fork.
"When you picked this guy," Josh interjected, slapping Max on the chest. The others burst into laughter, Max included. It was the unfettered laughter of men in their element and made Theo feel weird—less normal than he normally felt, which wasn't very normal at all.
"No." Willis chuckled. "When you went in after Ana." Theo's internal hackles rose. He didn't like this man, a stranger to him, using Anastasia's nickname. At the same time, it was a small kick in the gut as well. Anastasia was a comfortable person for him to be around, open-minded, accepting, with a hint of social awkwardness of her own. Apparently she was able to move in the circles that Max did.
"I didn't think," he said, realizing by their looks that he'd paused too long. "I just w-went on automatic. Just saw the car and jumped." He saw, in his periphery, the glow of pride in Max's eyes.
"That's something." Paul let out a heavy exhalation and shook his head.
"Right?" Josh said. "I mean, we all want to think we'd do that, but until you're in that situation, you can't tell, right?"
They pushed him for details, finally letting him be once the food arrived. Hoping this would be a good excuse to not have to talk, Theo dug in to his meal.
"I never asked what you do, Theo," Josh said.
"Josh and I work in management at the North Central Mill," Willis said. "And Paul works in sales at the radio station, while Max, of course, plays with puppy dogs all day."
"He has his own business," Theo said. The words shot out of him, and he heard their sharpness too late. Max reached under the table to squeeze his knee. "And so do I," he went on stiffly. "Or, well, I'm an independent contractor."
